Different Destination

Summary: An AU ending to Flash season 2. Instead of running back in time Barry makes a different choice of destination.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A thought trickles into the back of Barry's mind that Iris has the worst timing. He had just lost his dad at the hands of Zoom, whom he had subsequently saved the Multiverse from. Zoom was gone but the pain of his dad's death...he felt hollowed out inside. Broken.

And now here he was at Joe's house on the porch and Iris was suggesting that finally...finally she was ready to move their relationship on to another level.

A month ago he would have wished for that almost more than anything...but in their lives a month was an eternity.

"Iris," Barry starts to say and then stops as he desperately tries to find the right words.

"Barry, listen to me. You waited for me for years. You let me get to a place where this was possible. So I am telling you I am gonna do the same thing for you. Wherever you need to go, whatever you need to do, do it. And when you get back, I'll be here," she tells him.

"Iris," Barry starts again. "You shouldn't..."

"Shouldn't," she queries, confused.

"Wait for me."

"I don't understand."

Barry runs his hand through his hair. He so doesn't want to do this now but he feels like he can't let it simmer either. "For the longest time this is all I wanted to hear from you. A month ago it would have been but..."

"But?"

"I love you, Iris."

"I love you too," she says with a smile.

"As a sister," Barry tags on and Iris' smile fades away. "That's what I realised a month ago, Iris. I realised that whatever feelings I had had changed. I can't love you the way you want me to. I'm sorry."

"Why?" Iris asks. "I don't understand. I thought…" her voice chokes with emotion.

Barry desperately wants to explain but he can barely explain it to himself. All he can come up with is a repeat of his apology. "I'm sorry," he whispers with deep emotion. He didn't want to hurt her. Not ever would he wish to do that.

Iris sniffles back some tears before heading back into the house.

If Barry wasn't feeling bad enough over his dad, now he has to add this. He needs to get out of here. There's only one way left he can try and find peace...and with that he runs.

Caitlin is surprised by the knock of her door and even more when she finds who it is. "Barry?"

"Hey. Can I come in?" the speedster asks.

"Of course," Caitlin says without hesitation, stepping aside to let her friend in. "How are you doing?" she asks, though she barely needs to. His expression alone tells her how devastated he is.

Barry begins pacing. "You know all these years I waited for Iris. God, more years than I care to think about and when she finally decides to notice me she dumps this revelation on me days after my dad died," he unloads in an information dump.

Caitlin blinks. "Uh, Iris told you she has feelings for you?" she gathers from all that.

"I know right. God, her timing is lousier than mine. If she had said this to me a month ago I would have jumped at the chance but she's too late."

"Too late?" Caitlin inquiries not really understanding. For the 2 years she's known Barry Iris has been this obsession for him. 'An unhealthy one,' some cold sounding voice at the back of her head pipes up with.

"A month ago I realised there was someone else I loved more."

"Oh, really," Caitlin says, genuinely surprised by this.

"Right now I feel like I'm hollowed out. More broken than I've ever been."

"I felt like that when my dad died," Caitlin says in sad remembrance.

Barry stops his pacing and looks at her. "Cait," he says softly, gaining her attention back. "Three times...three times in my life I've felt like this. When my mom died was the first time and my dad was the 3rd. You know when the 2nd time was?"

Caitlin shakes her head.

Barry stares right into her eyes, his emotion so raw and stark it is hypnotising. "When Zoom took you."

"Barry, what are you saying?"

"When he took you it felt just like this. Like I was broken. Like something important had been ripped away from me. God I am an idiot. The fastest man alive is so slow when it comes to his own feelings. I don't even know when it happened. I don't even know when I fell in love with you."

Caitlin's eyes go wide and it feels like her heart is beating so hard it might burst through her chest.

"And I know you probably don't want to hear this from me but I can't keep it in any longer. I need...I don't know. I just want to know what peace feels like again and I don't know how telling you this achieves that...God, I don't know anything," he says, tears now creeping from his eyes and down his cheeks

Caitlin's body moves of its own volition and before she knows it she has pulled Barry into a her arms. To see him so hurt and broken...she can't stand it. She has to do something so she holds him as he cries. "Shh, hey, it's ok. It'll all be ok," she tries and assures him, barely choking back her own emotions.

This...this was the peace Barry sought after. Just to be in her arms made him feel better. God, he really is stupid not to have seen it before. "Cait," he says hoarsely.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I'm dumping this on you all of a sudden. I mean I haven't even asked you how you're doing...after Zoom?"

That's a whirlwind of mixed emotions...mostly hurt and anger now that he's gone and she doesn't have to be afraid of him any more. Though she is amazingly touched that despite all his grief Barry is still thinking of her well-being. "I'm alright," she tells him.

"No more flashbacks?"

Caitlin swallows thickly. After Zoom released her she kept having these flashes of him and near panic attacks. "Not in a few days."

"Good. I'm glad," he says wrapping his arms around her.

Caitlin instinctively leans into him as the two broken souls look to each other for comfort.

"Cait?"

"Yes?"

"I meant it. I love you," he says and he can feel her body stiffen for a moment.

"Barry," Caitlin says with a sigh. "You're grieving."

Barry pulls back so he can look her straight in the eye. "I love you," he repeats.

"Barry, don't do this to me, please," Caitlin begs him.

"Do what?" he asks in confusion.

Caitlin steps away and seems to retreat within herself, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Do what, Caitlin?" he asks again, needing an answer. "Talk to me," he insists.

"Give me hope!" she snaps at him and if Barry didn't know better he could have sworn her eyes flashed an icy blue for a moment.

Barry looks at her confused.

Caitlin lets out a short, almost manic laugh and when she speaks it almost seems like someone else speaking. "You think you're the only one who felt broken recently? When Zoom told me you were dead it was like this dark chasm opened up and swallowed me and you know what I think it might have felt worse than when my dad died. Worse than Ronnie even."

Barry blinks. "You love me," he states. It wasn't a question.

That strange manic laugh returns. "Yeah. I love the guy who can't see anything past women named Iris West. Linda and Patty; they never stood a chance did they Barry? Neither did I so please, don't stand there and give me false hope, alright. Go home."

"How long have you felt like this?" Barry asks.

Caitlin shakes her head. "Doesn't matter."

A long time, Barry thinks. "It does matter, Cait."

"Do not call me that. How many times do I have to say it?" she says, exasperated at the shortening of her name.

Barry strides up to her and places his hand on her cheek. It's oddly cool to his touch. "Caitlin. Look at me." She does. "I. Love. You," he emphasises every word.

Caitlin is torn. For longer than she cares to admit she has wanted him but he never looked at her that way. She had come to accept he never would. You know, because of Iris.

'You want something, Caity, you take it and you let no-one and nothing stand in our way...and if you won't, I will,' a voice in her head says to her and before she knows it her head jerks forward, her lips crashing into Barry's...and she's lost in that moment. Energy seems to surge through her, like little sparks of electricity all over her skin. This is so much better than she ever imagined.

Until right this moment Barry didn't realise how easy it was to just drown in someone. It wasn't like this with Linda. Not even Patty...though it was probably fairly close. This just feel so natural. So...right as if it what he should have been doing all along.

This kiss continues until the two desperately need to breathe. They stand there, foreheads touching, gulping in air, staring into each other's eyes. The room is filled with tension.

Caitlin eventually breaks the silence. "Barry. I love you, too," she whispers.

Despite his grief a goofy smile manages to adorn Barry's face. "So where do we go from here?" he asks, clueless.

"I don't know," Caitlin admits. "But I want to find out."

"Me too."

The two share happy smiles as they start on whatever journey they now face. A journey they will take together.

A journey that unknown to them will also soon involve a 3rd...but her story...well that's another story.

Author's Note: I'm an unapologetic SnowBarry fan(though I did like Patty very much too), therefore of course I'm going to write a different ending to season 2 where Barry wakes up and realises just what has been staring him in the face all this time. From learning that Killer Frost has been there since Caitlin was a child you can obviously stop blaming the changes Barry made in Flashpoint for the icy alter-ego. Is it too early for Killer Frost to start emerging? Depends on quite how long Caitlin had been hiding it but honestly it has to be around now, just after season 2 ends that it must start so I decided to use her to give Caitlin a little kick. Hope you enjoyed it.