Chapter 2

"Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go, I wanna be sedated. Nothin' to do and nowhere to go-o-o, I wanna be sedated." – The Ramones, "I Wanna Be Sedated" Released in January of 1978, it never charted but was number 145 on Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time list released in 2004.

"Oh Edward! Hello, sweetheart!" I hear my stepmother's martini-soaked shriek from down the hall where she's opened the door upon the arrival of our almost nightly dinner guest. I watch as Rosalie jerks her head up from painting her toenails and curses loudly.

"Shit. I knew I should've been outside waiting." Rosalie fans her wet nails and blows on them, trying to quicken the dry time. "Bella, honey, fan these for me."

She hands me her Fleetwood Mac album and I start moving the cardboard back and forth in the air above her feet. She's twisted her upper body around to find her light-up mirror, which is lying on the thick pile of her pink carpet behind her.

I watch, fascinated, as Rosalie applies a thick coating of goopy lip-gloss to her perfect mouth, and makes a kissy fish-face at the mirror.

"Is that what you do with your mouth when you kiss Edward?" I laugh.

Rosalie rolls her eyes at me. "Shut up, Bella. Maybe someday you'll get the nerve to actually kiss a guy."

"I've kissed Jake plenty," I protest.

Among other things I don't mention because I'm not discussing my sex life with her.

"I mean a hot kiss. With tongue. Anyway, Edward's more interested in other things my mouth can do." She smirks at me and turns her eyes back to her mirror, fluffing her blonde hair and securing the sides with gold barrettes.

The thought of Edward getting head from Rosalie makes me want to vomit all over her Pepto rug. I follow her out of her room and down the sprawling hallway towards the front of the California ranch house my father and I moved into when Renee and Charlie married.

I glance at the walls as we pass; there are pictures of Rosalie on every inch. Ballet recitals, school pictures, amateur modeling stills. There's only one picture of me in the house, on the mantle. It's their wedding photo, and I'm in an orange scratchy bridesmaid dress with a scowl firmly in place while Rosalie looks perfect and models for the lens. It pretty much sums up the last two years of my life.

Once we reach the sunken living room, my heart stutters when I see Edward, wearing the same cutoffs as earlier but with the wrinkled back-pocket shirt on, sitting with Renee on the uncomfortable beige floor pillows that make a sorry replacement for a couch. She's got her martini in hand, wearing her stupid floral muumuu thing she thinks makes her look like a "swinger". Edward doesn't look too tortured yet, but he does stand immediately when Rosalie and I enter.

Rosalie sidles up to him and slips her hand into his back pocket, turning her cheek for him to kiss. He does what's expected and I wait for him to turn to me to say hello. He doesn't. I think Edward has said two words to me the entire two months they've been dating.

I leave the trio and head into the kitchen, trying to assess what might be on the menu for the evening. I wasn't kidding when I said Renee cooks what she sees on TV. I don't think she owns a recipe book. Most of her stuff ends up tasting the same, no matter what it is. I'm sure my blood pressure is abnormally high for a teenage girl from the amount of salt I put on everything to give it some taste.

As I'm getting the pitcher of Hawaiian Punch out of the fridge, my father comes in from the backyard, squeezing an empty can of beer, and kisses me on the head.

"How'd your day go, Bella?"

"The same. Jake, Tasty Dog, you know." I take three glasses out of the cupboard and make my way outside to the patio, Renee's preferred place to entertain. She and Charlie redid it last summer and it's like a gigolo's wet dream. Hot tub, check. Private lagoon in the pool, check. I try not to go in that area, as the "parties" they host are questionable and the grotto probably ripe for the clap.

As I'm pouring the punch, Rosalie and Edward make their way out, her hand still attached to his pants. Even though the thought of Rosalie pawing Edward makes me want to barf, I can't blame the girl. I'd stick my hand in his back pocket everyday if I could. Hell, I'd stick it in the front.

My father follows them out with two beers, offering one to Edward before he sits at the head of the table.

"What about me?" Rosalie asks. "I'm over eighteen."

"Women shouldn't drink beer, honey, we drink wine or mixed drinks. Like whiskey sours." Renee breezes onto the patio, kitten heel slippers click-clacking against the gray stone.

"Whatever. I prefer water anyway, I'm watching my figure." With that statement, I gag as I see Edward admiring her figure for her. I don't think he really has a choice, as Rosalie has pushed her tits forward and they're right there for all of us to see, spilling out of her tube top.

"Maybe you shouldn't have eaten that whole sleeve of Oreos earlier then," I chime in, sniffing the brown food on my fork. "Ow!" I rub the shin Rosalie just kicked.

"Now girls, we have a guest! Let's act like ladies, shall we?" Renee chastises, watching us try to eat her inexplicable dinner, sipping at her refilled drink. "Edward here would like to eat in peace, right Edward?"

As she says this, she lays her hand on his arm, stopping the movement of his fork. He smiles at Renee and I think he's actually relieved she stopped the utensil from getting near his mouth.

"Edward's not eating, he's pushing it around like the rest of us," I remark, and chance a look at Edward who has returned his attention to his plate, a look of doubt in his eyes. Honestly, I don't know why he subjects himself to this if he doesn't have to. Especially since he fills up on Tasty Dog before he gets here.

"Bella, be nice. Renee worked hard to cook this meal for you while you were out all day having fun," Charlie says as he wipes beer off his mustache.

"Fun? I was working!" I see my father raise his eyebrows at me. "Okay well after I hung out with Jake." I say this last part and glance at Edward again, hoping maybe he picked up that I have a guy that wants to date me. Or pretends to want to date me, at least.

"What is it that you do with Jake, before work every day, Bella?" Rosalie asks and I side eye her. She's trying to look all innocent, like she isn't trying to set me up somehow.

"Well, after I give him road head, he's kind enough to buy me ice cream and then-"

"Jesus, Bella, you spend entirely too much time watching that Home Box Office shit." Charlie huffs and puts his beer down, sloshing a bit onto the vinyl tablecloth. I think I see a bit of amusement in his eyes as he looks at me. It was just Charlie and I for a long time and we developed a weird kind of kinship. He thinks I'm funny.

I smirk, and shift my eyes to Edward, who is looking at the sky with a pinched look on his face. I think I see a hint of a smile, but that could just be a shadow. Or heartburn.

"First of all, Bella, you wouldn't know how to give road head, you have to actually touch a boy for that," Rosalie spits out.

"I guess you're the expert, huh? Isn't Edward's Jeep a bit too open for that activity?" I regret it the minute I say it, as now Edward looks pissed.

Renee has decided to ignore us completely and is sitting back in her chair watching the waterfall flow into the pool, sipping away. The palm fronds cast a shadow over the table and we all fall quiet, Rosalie giving me dirty looks and me meeting her gaze with a smile.

None of us are pretending to eat Renee's casserole or whatever it is anymore. We're sitting in silence, the only sounds are Edward chewing on a roll and Charlie tapping his can on the table.

"So Edward. How's Carlisle these days?" Charlie asks, shifting in his seat trying to make this whole dinner less stupid.

"He's good. Just got back from Australia. He was judging a competition there. Said the waves were bitchin'." Edward grins at Charlie and they start talking about surfing and I know they could go on for days.

I'm daydreaming, losing myself in a fantasy where Edward has to rescue me in the water on his long surfboard, but unfortunately loses his trunks along the way when I hear my name.

"Huh?"

"I was just telling Edward that you're working next to his father's store this summer." Charlie repeats for me.

"I think he knows that." I look over at Edward who is still focused on Charlie.

"Oh. Well I was thinking maybe he could keep an eye on you, while he's in the shop."

I am beyond mortified. I can feel the heat of my skin as it rises from my chest to my face, making me as red as Rosalie's newly painted whore toes.

"What? Why? I'm seventeen years old, I don't need looking after."

"I know what goes on at that beach. I used to hang out there when I was a kid. Drugs, drinking…"

"Road head-" I can't help it.

"Enough with the road head. No one is giving anyone road head." Charlie gets up and I stick my tongue out at Rosalie who is rolling her eyes at me.

Renee sighs and gets up from the table, taking her casserole with her to dump down the disposal. We waste more food than Josephine, the resident anorexic at school.

"Um, you know I could get drugs and booze anywhere, right?" I point out to Charlie as he stands. "It's not just a beach accessory. All I have to do is come out here after one of your soirees and pick up the leftovers."

"Well, I'm the dad here and I don't think it would hurt for Edward to keep an eye on things. You're a good girl, Bella. Let's keep it that way."

"I see your point. It's too late for Rosalie." I nod towards her and Charlie smirks while trying to pat Rosalie on the head as he leaves, but she ducks away yelping about her hair.

"Come on, Edward, I think we're done here. Let's go to Mac's. I need something to eat." Rosalie gets up and I cringe as her chair makes a teeth-grinding shriek against the stone. She pulls Edward by his arm and he follows wordlessly.

I think any talk of me being babysat by Edward has been forgotten with my amusing comments, but as they walk past me, the only one remaining at the table, Edward pauses at my side and I look up at him.

He's looking at Rosalie's ass but says to me, "I guess I'll see you around, Swansong."

I think my jaw drops and hits the table before my tongue rolls out across the patio.

Angela, Alice, and I are sitting on my blue rug, surrounding the ashtray I got on a trip to Mexico Charlie and I took right before he married Renee. It has images of people screwing on it; I think it's hilarious. My Bee Gees album is playing loud enough on my record player to give us privacy.

"I love coming here," Angela says as she takes a drag and exhales, "both your parents smoke so when I get home and my folks ask why I smell like an ashtray, I just say I was hanging out with you."

"Nice. Well I only hang out with you because your brother Steve gets the best weed." Angela smirks at me and nods in agreement.

"I don't know how you two manage to joke about drugs all the time. Don't you worry about being caught?" Alice asks while waving her hand in front of her face.

"Who's getting caught? Besides, the cops at the beach look the other way," I answer, stubbing out my butt. "Alice, you're too nervous about everything."

Alice's shoulders slump and I feel bad, so I apologize for what I said, even if it's true. There's no way she's not getting 'biggest worrier' in the senior yearbook, plus 'most sensitive'.

Angela takes a sip of her cranberry and vodka and makes a face. "I really hate cranberry."

"I know, but we have tons of it. Renee wants Rosalie and I to have healthy bladders and be yeast infection free."

"Ew." Alice scrunches up her nose and smells her drink, taking a sip and examining the contents carefully.

"So speaking of my brother, Steve told me that his dealer isn't just pushing weed anymore," Angela comments.

I look at her. "He's not selling weed anymore?" Panic starts to set in.

"No, that's not all he's selling. He's moving into the harder stuff," she says under her breath. I don't know if she's trying to be quiet for my parent's sake or for Alice's.

"Like what?" I've heard of other stuff, mushrooms, acid, of course, but I've never done anything but smoke a little.

"Cocaine," she says, nodding her head seriously.

"What is that?" Alice asks, looking up from the latest copy of Seventeen magazine.

"Um, nothing." Angela looks to me to come up with something.

I widen my eyes at her and stutter, "It's like a plant." I look to Alice, and then to Angela who is trying to hide a smirk.

"Oh, I kill every plant I ever get." Alice flips the page and takes a tiny sip of her drink.

"Have you tried it?" I ask Ang, pretty sure Alice isn't paying attention again, too concerned about the fascinating article on periods.

"Hell no! Pot is enough for me, thank you very much." Putting out her cigarette, she gets up to change albums. She flips through my stack and settling on The Ramones, rejoins us on the floor.

I contemplate the cocaine thing for a bit. I've never seen it in person, but I'm not stupid. I read. I watch cable. I wonder if Edward is into any recreational drug use. I know Rosalie smokes too, but I don't know if she does anything else.

I bring up what happened at dinner and Alice's eyes go wide. "He's going to watch you? Like a dog?"

"Charlie just asked him to keep an eye on me which was completely embarrassing." I shake my head at the memory.

"Eh, I wouldn't worry, his head is too far up Rosalie's fat ass to see anything." Alice takes a sip and Angela and I look at each other in shock before we burst out laughing.

"Damn, Alice brings the catty."

"What? You two think I crawled out from under a rock or something." Alice sniffs.

"Alice, you did. Your family just left that commune two years ago." Angela is doubled over in laughter and I'm grinning, the vodka obviously taking effect.

"It wasn't a commune. It was a farm." Even Alice has to smirk at that.

"So, how's Professor Whitlock?" Angela asks suddenly and I widen my eyes at her and hit her shin with my foot. She gives me a 'what?' shrug and I just shake my head at her.

Alice's face lights up and she starts mooning. "Well, I haven't seen him yet since school let out, but he did say at the end-of-year cast party that he hoped I had a good summer and that he'd see me around."

"I wonder what he does all summer. Does he surf? Cause I wouldn't mind seeing that body in a pair of swim trunks."

I gape at Angela. "Not you, too!"

"What? He's smokin'. I love all that shaggy blond hair."

Alice is nodding in agreement but giving Angela the fish eye as well. "I saw him in shorts once. The cast picnic. We sat together and ate hot dogs."

"Well, he can eat my dog anytime." Angela laughs stupidly and I join in.

"That doesn't even make sense." My head is swirling from the alcohol and cigarettes, and I fall back on my carpet, looking up at the ceiling.

Our laughter trails out, each of us lost in thought. One song ends and I wait for the next to start, the scratching of the needle on the plastic soothing between the punk rock.

"I think I'm going to break up with Jake."

Angela exhales loudly and coughs a little, still giddy from her hot dog line. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. It's just…boring. We do the same thing every day and I know he has eyes for Leah." The third and newest member of the Bimbo Box.

"Why hasn't he ended it then, to be with her?" Alice asks.

"Don't know. Don't care really. Dating Jake is like drinking milk. Cold and bland."

"Damn Bella. You are harsh." Alice starts giggling and I think the half a glass of vodka is loosening her up.

"Yeah well, I'm not going to waste all summer with him if I don't have any feelings for him."

"But don't you want to have a boyfriend for the summer? Who's gonna double with me and Ben?" Angela sounds panicky.

"Get Paul to get the balls to ask Alice out and there you go."

"I don't want to date Paul," Alice replies.

"Fine Bella, be selfish. You know Ben and Jake are joined at the hip, and now I'm going to have to have a third wheel on every outing. I'll never get laid." Angela picks at her knee sock and pouts.

"Maybe he'll ask Leah out." I laugh, knowing how Angela will react.

"Great. I don't need crabs in my backseat, thank you very much." Angela gets up and slips her shoes on. "I gotta go. Dad's got some fundraiser tonight he's making us all attend."

"What is it this time?" I sit up.

"Eagle Scouts of America. Ironic, huh? The only scouting Steve has ever done was scouting for his next stash."

"I better go too. Walk me home, Ang?" Alice asks, getting up and holding onto my bed for stability.

"Yeah sure. So are we hitting up that party tomorrow?"

I try to remember what she's talking about. "The party at the beach? You sure it won't be weird? I mean, it's Steve and Rosalie's crowd."

"Yeah, so? Steve's my brother, I'm like a shoo-in. Come on, it'll be fun."

I roll my eyes. "Oh, I'm sure Rosalie would love to have me there." And then it hits me. Edward will be there. After a slight hesitation, I look to Angela. "I'm in."

"Cool. I'll come here first, maybe bring some booze. We can get ready together."

"Sure. What are you planning on wearing?" I look down at my shirt and shorts and start doing an inventory of my closet.

"Something that makes me look like I'm not about to be a high school senior." Angela turns to Alice. "Are you going to join us?"

"Uh, a party? I don't know. I have to check with my folks."

"You mean Moonbeam and Sunshine?" Angela laughs and Alice gives her a dirty look. "How'd you get such a normal name anyway?"

Alice answers, "Well that's my birth name. I was called Rainbow." And even she has to laugh at that.

PB Fun Fact: My childhood friend Claire totally used the excuse she'd been at my house when she would go home smelling like cigarettes after smoking at the pond.

What a blast TFMU was in St. Louis this past weekend! Loved seeing familiar faces and making new friends! I miss you already!

Thanks to the best roomies, LayAtHomeMom and CarrieZM!