Chapter 8
"Then I look at you, and the world's alright with me" – Bill Withers, "Lovely Day", peaked at #6 on the Billboard R&B chart and at #30 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in early 1978
My life is utterly ridiculous. You can't make this shit up. It's like a bad episode of Three's Company where Mr. Roper crashes Janet's hot date.
I didn't say much on the drive to Frosty Freeze, and I think Jared knows I'm disturbed by the presence of the third wheel sitting across from us at the picnic table.
When he asked if he could come, I could tell Jared didn't know what to say. I immediately said "yes, I mind" but Jared, being the nice guy he is, just couldn't turn him down, especially when he'd already rounded the table and had his keys in his hand.
He didn't ask Rosalie to join him and she didn't volunteer to come along on this weird threesome either. She just sat there, arms crossed and nose red.
I lick my chocolate cone and listen to them talk some more about the film. Now that they've got details nailed down, they seem really excited, and I think that's partly why Jared hasn't politely told Edward to make like an egg and scramble. Even though I'm kind of ticked he invited himself along, I haven't complained. Mostly because I'm a lady, but also because it is pretty interesting listening to them talk about the ins and outs of how they're going to do it. And if I'm being really honest with myself, I would listen to Edward recite the Tasty Dog menu all day long.
Jared gets up to use the men's room and it's just me and Edward eating ice cream. I watch his tongue swipe his rocky road and even though he's awful, I want to lick the chocolate on the side of his chin.
He shuffles his feet and clears his throat as he balls up a napkin. "I'm sorry, I, uh… crashed your date." His eyes are puppy dog wary as he waits for me to say something.
I want to say so many things.
I want to ask him why he left Rosalie at the dinner table, and why he didn't just leave if he didn't want to be there anymore instead of crashing my date? I want to ask him why he's still with Rosalie in the first place, and if he really doesn't see what's going on, why he thinks he deserves a girlfriend that treats him like crap? But I don't. Instead, because there's a part of me that still feels loyal to my step-sister and makes me feel like a creep for wanting him to be rid of her, I blame the only thing that ties me to him.
"Charlie already agreed to do your movie, you didn't have to grease him by keeping up your end of the babysitting Bella train. Which I'm putting a stop to right now, by the way. That emergency brake is being pulled."
"I didn't…" Edward's eyes widen and he seems a little angry at my accusation. "I'll say it again, I'm not babysitting you."
"Then why would you even want to join us? I swear, if you're doing this because Charlie gave you five bucks so I don't give Jared road head–"
"Can you please stop saying that?" Edward presses the fingers not holding his cone against his eyes.
"Road. Head." I smirk and throw my napkin towards the garbage can, missing it by a mile.
"I am begging you," he says and gets up to throw out my napkin properly.
"Why? Do you find the term offensive?"
"Bella–" His voice is rough as he shakes his head.
I tap my chin with my finger. "Maybe you prefer blowjob?"
"Bella." He stands over me with fire in his eyes. He's so sexy when he's upset.
"Oh wait, you're in college. Maybe you like the scientific term, fellatio."
"Maybe I just don't like hearing YOU say it." His face looks pained and I suck in a deep breath. It hurts me to the bone that he finds me so hideous.
"Well, I know I'm not Rosalie fucking Hale, but some people think I'm not completely offensive."
"Whoa, what's going on here?" Jared comes back and looks between me and Edward. Lord knows what it looks like or if he heard the end of our discussion. Edward is still standing over me, hands clenched while my hands are on the table, ready to slap him.
Edward backs away. "Nothing." His hand goes to his hair and even though he's a prick, it's really hot and I try to maintain my anger and not get lost in daydreams of it being my hands in his hair.
"Nothing worth discussing." I stand and grab Jared's elbow. "Let's go somewhere else, the air here is suddenly heady."
Jared looks confused at my emphasis of the word. I can't even imagine what he thinks is going on, but I'm sure it doesn't look like we were having a nice chat about rainbow verses chocolate sprinkles. "Sure." He puts his arm around me. "Edward, I'll call you tomorrow."
I give him a dirty look before turning away. "Bella," Edward calls out as Jared and I make it to his car.
I sigh, trying not to let him see he's made me upset and look back at him. "What?"
He looks regretful, almost apologetic, like he knows he keeps being rude to me. "For the record, I like that you're not Rosalie Hale."
His eyes stay on mine, one side of his mouth lifts up in a sad smile, and I want to stay mad.
But I think he just gave me a compliment.
The day they choose for Charlie and the guys to surf is a typical Zuma day. Bright sunshine, kids playing, teenagers making out.
Renee and I stand on the sidelines and cheer Charlie on as he takes a couple of runs at the waves before Edward and Jared start shooting. They're all business; checking the light with some scope thing and pointing to the water and the sun and back to the water while they discuss what they're going to do.
Jared's been very patient with me. He was confused after Edward's and my showdown, but he didn't push when he dropped me off at home. I let him give me a sweet goodnight kiss, but ended it before it got heated. It didn't feel right when there were butterflies in my stomach caused by someone else.
I guess I like that I'm not Rosalie Hale, either. She wouldn't feel guilty.
But I am guilty of leading Jared on if I have no intention of seriously dating him. And I know that regardless of the fact that my crush on Edward is one-sided, I can't see myself letting anyone else take the place of the guy I dream about at night until I figure out how to get over him. But maybe Jared is the way. I'm as dazed and confused as Led Zeppelin.
I'm trying not to watch Edward with the big movie camera he's got perched on his shoulder. It looks heavy, but he's handling it fine, his muscles are bulging under his white shirt as he fiddles with the lens and points it towards where Jared tells him to.
A small group of girls stop by and ask questions of the guys while twirling their hair and adjusting the strings on barely-there bikinis, and I smile when I see neither Jared or Edward spend much time talking to them. It makes me happy they seem so focused, and maybe they will win an Oscar one day and I can say I knew them when.
"My husband still has moves," Renee says next to me.
Ick, but I smile at her and agree. Charlie looks great out there, he's still able to handle his bottom turns and closeouts without a second thought. Maybe when he's done he'll agree to surf a bit more with me because I'm jealous and the sun is starting to make my hair stick to my neck.
The guys start filming and they capture Charlie, Carlisle, and two other surfers they've asked to be a part of their story hug and talk as they reunite. It was like time stopped for them, their language lapsing into surfer-speak and shakas, as they recall old stories.
Who rode the biggest wave, who performed the best cutback, and who bagged the best floater.
Eventually they head out to the water. Up and over the waves they go repeatedly while Edward films and Jared directs. They get real close to the water with the equipment, and at one point, Jared pushes Edward out as he straddles a board. I hold my breath hoping he doesn't drop the camera in the water, but he's successful in getting a closeup of Charlie coming out of a curl and I let it out in a whoosh.
They film back on the sand for a while but start to pack it in when the sun starts to lower in the sky. I do notice Edward pointing the camera back to the water even though no one is on it, capturing the blues and purples and pinks, and I hope a little part of him thought of me while he did.
I smile at Jared and tell him it was fun to watch. I'm not upset when he tells me he has to head to his grandmother's for the evening, squashing any hopes he had for a night out with me. It makes me feel even worse that he seems truly upset about it, but I just tell him to go ahead and don't commit to plans for the future when he tries to bring it up.
Charlie tells me he'll come out surfing with me another time, he and the guys are going to keep the reunion going and round up the wives for dinner.
"Can you drop me home first? You have to shower, right?"
"Actually, we're just going to head over to the Fish Bait." It's an old school joint, where they used to sit outside after surfing, wet suits and all. It's on the other side of the beach within walking distance so they're not even going to the car. "Maybe Edward can take you?"
My eyes bulge out of my head. I highly doubt he wants to take me home, especially after a long day. He's probably exhausted. "That's okay, I'm sure someone at Tasty Dog will take me."
"I can take her." Edward steps up behind me and smiles at Charlie. "It's the least I can do after today. We got some really great stuff. Let me repay the favor."
"So now I'm payment for a favor? Great." Charlie just chuckles and shakes Edward's hand before leading Renee away.
"You ready?" he asks as he picks up the camera case and reaches for another.
"I got it." I pick up the container at his feet. I'm feeling a little awkward, I haven't seen Edward since we got into that weird fight. I make a mental note to avoid any use of the words road and head.
We walk across the sand, the case bumping me in the thigh as it's heavier than it appeared. Edward laughs when he tries to grab it from me, but I swing it away.
"I'm stronger than I look," I say but my grunt says otherwise.
"Just put it down over here," he points to a spot next to the Surf Shop. "I'll grab the car."
I pop a squat on the bench outside the shop and Mr. and Mrs. Cullen come out, locking the door behind them. Mrs. Cullen always looks like she could be on Dallas. She's very glamorous with her shoulder pads and perfect hair, and it's funny to me she married a beach bum. "Hi, Bella!" she calls out and I stand to hug her.
"Hi, Mrs. Cullen. Going to dinner with the groms?"
"Yes! It'll be great to catch up with Renee, we haven't been out to the pool since last summer!"
I squelch the urge to picture Carlisle and Esme getting it on in Charlie and Renee's grotto. "At least she's not cooking, right?" I make an exaggerated wink just as Edward pulls up in the Jeep.
"I'll encourage her to bring you home some leftovers." She pats me on the arm and hugs Edward when he walks over. "Have you eaten at all today?"
"I had some fries around noon," he says as he picks up the camera case.
"Make sure you eat something, all right? You kids have fun!" They sashay off and I'm wondering why they would think we'd hang out and have said fun.
He loads the second box in the back and motions to the car, looking a little nervous. Maybe he's waiting for me to yell at him again. "Uh, you hungry? Now that Mom mentioned it, I'm starving."
Eat? With Edward? Like, alone?
"I could eat." I'm as smooth as Isaac on The Love Boat.
He starts up the Jeep and I climb in. The last time I was in here it was dark out, but now, with the sun hitting our eyes low and Edward glowing gold in the late day sun, I finally feel like I know what all those Beach Boys songs are about.
My hair whips around and I take my flip flops off, hanging my feet out the side. I look at Edward to see if he minds, but he just smiles lazily back at me and kicks off his own, propping his left foot up on the door frame.
I try to hold back my giddiness. I have to remind myself that I am not part of a classic California young couple that kids in the Midwest are jealous of as they look at their Tiger Beat magazines, even if I feel like it in the moment. I wonder if Rosalie ever feels high sitting next to him like this. Like the entire world has slowed down to let us enjoy being in the moment.
"What are you in the mood for?" Edward rouses me from my haze and turns the stereo down.
"Anything. Pizza or whatever is fine."
Edward hums and drives a while before pulling into a lot. "Ever had sushi?"
"You mean like raw fish?" My mouth opens in horror. "What are ya tryin' to do, make me sick?!" Edward laughs and I'm happy he got my bad impression of Roseanne Roseannadanna.
"Yeah, it's great. You'll love it."
"I thought they only had sushi in exotic places on TV."
"You don't think Malibu is exotic?"
"No, I've lived here my whole life." He opens the door to the restaurant for me, and I duck my head so he can't see me blush and smile like a loon. The hostess seats us and we look at our menus. "What's your favorite place you've lived?"
He takes a sip of water and thinks. "Probably Australia. It's beautiful and the waves are unbelievable." He gets a wistful look on his face. "You can ride a curl so high you think you're closer to the clouds than to the ground."
"Sounds wonderful."
"I'd love to get back there someday, film it."
"I bet you will. You seem to really like being in control of the camera."
"I really do. It's cool to have something you see in your head manifest onto a screen for others to see the way you see it." He fiddles with his wood chopsticks. "Like the color today at sunset. The same sky you and I saw when we were out. I wanted to capture it the way I saw it that day." He looks up and it could be my imagination, but his eyes seem bluer than I've ever seen them.
I swallow, butterflies nosediving in my stomach. "You get very passionate when you speak about filmmaking."
"I'm passionate about a lot of things." He's never held my stare so long, never so intently, and I might be crazy, but I think I feel a shift in the air between us. I watch his throat bob as he swallows, like he's about to say something.
"Are you ready to order?" A smiling Asian woman stands over us holding a notepad.
"Um…" I look from the waitress to the menu to Edward.
"Mind if I order for you?" Edward asks, and when I nod, he orders a bunch of stuff she writes down and two Cokes.
The waitress leaves and Edward smiles at me. "Don't worry, I didn't order you anything really gross."
I shrug. "I trust you."
He looks happy about that and slides down in his chair a bit, taking on the laid-back surfer vibe he usually exudes. I don't know if I'm sad or relieved the mood of moments ago left with the waitress. We're just two buddies about to share food that should not ever be eaten without being cooked.
We talk about today's shoot, where else he's lived, UCLA. He asks me about what it is I want to do and doesn't seem to find it ridiculous when I answer that I have no idea. He just encourages me to try new things and see if there's anything out there that makes me happy. "Find your passion," he says, and it's all I can do to not tell him right there that if I could major in Edward, then that would be it.
The food arrives and he coaches me on what's in front of me and what to do with the green stuff that looks like Play Doh. It's a messy endeavor at first to keep the rolls intact and the sushi all together with the rice while not ending up in pieces on my plate, but he commends me for my go-for-it attitude.
I like some of the fish more than others, but I try it all. There is soy sauce all over the table and some on my shirt, there's bits of rice scattered about and I'm pretty sure I have wasabi in my hair, but by the end of the meal, we're laughing and talking like we've hung out like this a million times.
As I get out of his car in front of my house, I'm half expecting him to burn rubber like last time, but he just sits there, engine idling. The night is still warm, the streetlight over us makes everything yellow and in the distance I can hear someone's backyard party. I want to remember this night in every detail because the chances of it happening again are small.
I clap my hands together. "Well, that was surprisingly good. Thanks for taking me."
"Thanks for coming with me. I…" he looks at his thumb tapping a beat against the steering wheel. "Next time we'll have to try something else you've never had before."
Next time.
I'm positive my face is as red as the surfboard hanging out the back of his car.
"I'm game for anything as long as Renee hasn't touched it."
He laughs with his head back and I grin like a fool. "It's a date." He smiles and drives off, leaving me staring after him in the driveway.
A deep warmth invades my whole body and my stomach somersaults.
I'm pretty sure it's from Edward and not the sushi.
PB Fun Fact 1: Fun facts all about the TV shows mentioned this week! My friend Claire would come over every Saturday night to watch The Love Boat and then Fantasy Island because we weren't old enough to go anywhere else. We thought her staying over until eleven o'clock was grown-up. She'd then make me walk her home (two houses away) because she was scared. She made me do this until we were about twenty if she was ever over late.
PB Fun Fact 2: I would lie on my brother's bed on Saturday nights and try to keep my eyes open during Saturday Night Live while he and my sister watched it (he had a small B&W TV in his room). I never made it, and was always curious about how it ended. I finally stayed up one night and when I saw them all just milling about talking to the host as the credits rolled, I thought I'd been allowed into a secret society. It was a crowning moment :)
Thanks to my very own versions of groms, LayAtHomeMom and CarrieZM.
(BTW, you never get to see the other side of this process, but these two crack me up with their comments and their own memories and recollections this fic is bringing up for them. Boogie on, girls, love you both!)