Chapter Six: Mistaken Sounds
Nervous…she was so fucking nervous. This was her home, and the thought of going inside made Maya want to throw up. She wasn't ready. Her hand rose to the center of that sunflower yellow door to knock, but then lowered almost as fast as it went up. Why would she knock at her own place? Idiot, she reckoned, I'm such an idiot. Calm was out the window at this point, and the girl knew that she needed to collect herself before stepping even one foot closer to the overwhelming ambiguity inside of their apartment. Leaning her disorganized head back against the chipped paint wall, she let her entire body slide down it, shedding all weight of the situation. As her bottom hit the floor, she pulled up her knees, and wrapped her arms around her jean covered legs. No clue of what she would say. No clue of what she'd ask the girl to do.
Riley had given her an out the day prior; she had blatantly told Maya that she was a deciding factor in all of this. Odds are, Maya could go in there and ask Riley not to leave, and she wouldn't. This amazing young woman she couldn't bare to imagine her life without would stay—stay to sit in that bay window with Maya for however long the edgy girl requested…which would be forever, if she was being truthful. She could have Riley's mornings, Riley's middays, and Riley's nights—everything that had made her feel full. Everything that had made her feel like each day was a gift. But how could that ever be a happy ending if Maya was depriving Riley of what she really wanted—Lucas's mornings, Lucas's middays, and Lucas's nights. Was Mr. Matthews right? Was this worth letting go without putting up a fight?
Maya took out her phone and momentarily contemplated texting Farkle requesting to sleep over another night. As her jittery fingers hovered over the letters, she rolled her eyes and tucked the device back into her jacket pocket, thinking of a hurt Riley. A promise had been made to return home tonight and talk, and that's what she'd do. Despite the girl's massive hangover just hours earlier, she so wished for a drink right now, to not face the moment on sober ambitions. But Maya had come unprepared and thereby sober it would be.
She picked herself up, dusted off her pants, and reached down to twist the doorknob, having to remind those pesky lungs to work. "Riles?" Maya cautiously edged over the threshold, removing her jacket and once again placing it on that same purple hook. No response. Panning the living area, the kitchen, and the bay window, there was not a Riley to be seen. "All right then," she said to an audience of zero, continuing to remove her boots and place them by the mat. The table was empty so she filled some space on its top by tossing her keys, clanking loudly as they made contact. "Honey, are you even here?" Her voice was louder now, and still unanswered. Maya couldn't help but be almost annoyed. They were supposed to be having a big talk tonight, a talk to decide their whole future, yet Riley couldn't even bother to show up? Figures. New life, new priorities. Guess the boy has the girl. She plopped down on the couch and pulled up Netflix—with the time she had been spending to submit her paintings by deadline, she was drastically behind on every single show she followed. Now was as good a time to catch up as any. It took a whole two minutes before Maya was jolted out of her comfy spot by the door thrusting open. Grabbing the small remote, she paused the show that had not yet even made it past opening credits.
"Maya?" The girl walked in, nearly tripping over herself as she noticed two blue eyes staring back at her. Her arms were swarmed with as many plastic shopping bags as it would take to scare the whales. "Maya! You're back!" Dropping all bags on the mat, the brunette rushed over to embrace her friend, slamming into her harder than she ever had before. "I was extremely worried about you, I'm so glad you're home!" After the initial relief wore off, she pushed Maya back and gave her sternest, most serious glare to the blonde. "Don't you EVER do that to me again! Don't you ever scare me like that! I thought you'd never want to see me again, I thought you'd just finally had enough…" her voice drifted, sorrowed.
What an absurd idea. The most beautiful and wonderful girl in the world, she'd never want to see again? Not a chance. Not a fucking chance. "I'm sorry, Riley, I'm so sorry. I just didn't know what everything meant. This all just happened so fast and I couldn't process it. So I freaked, of course, in typical Maya fashion…but I'm here now. I'm here to talk, about whatever you need to talk about." Maya grabbed the girl's hand and looked down at their rings overlapping each other. "It's you and me. There's nothing we can't handle."
"Well we will talk…but before we get into that, can you help me pick up the disaster over there?" Her head prodded towards the wreckage. "It's all your favorites, Peaches, I was just trying to surprise you before you got home." Riley reddened, hating that she was unable to beat her friend back to their apartment…even more frustrated for causing such a mess, just as she did practically every single day. "Chimichangas, tacos, chicken and waffles, pineapple and pepperoni pizza, and of course, a new jigsaw puzzle based off one of your favorite artists, John Constable, in case we got bored." Seeing Maya's smile instilled a hope inside of Riley that she hadn't ruined the awaited evening.
"Oooo, you know just what I like," a bite of pizza was already making its way into Maya's mouth, nearly as soon as she heard Riley mention it, leaving the rest of the bags splayed out on the floor amongst her feet. The girl was always impatient when it came to her snacks. Satisfied with her quick taste, she grabbed a plate to set the remainder of the slice down. Maya then made her way back to the jumble and knelt down beside her clumsy roommate. "Thank you. You really didn't have to do all of this, though. I'm not mad at you, Riley, you didn't need to buy me all of these things or plan any big surprises. You didn't do anything wrong," she reassured.
"I just wanted you to feel happy to be back—I wanted you to come home to everything that you love," the younger girl shrugged, leaning against Maya.
"Trust me," Maya inhaled and then let it all out. "I did."
Together they picked up the remainder of the goodies, loading the countertop with enough food to feed a small army. Taking a beat to settle down from the overly dramatic reunion, the two stood before each other in silence for a moment, appreciative to be back where they both belonged. Matching grins displayed their mutual ease, and again they found themselves in the coziness of a warm hug. "I know you were only away for a night, Peaches, but I missed you more than you can imagine. This place is so lonely without you…and slightly terrifying. I'm pretty sure I heard gunshots."
Laughing at her quirky friend, Maya released her grip and guided them to the bay window as she positioned herself next to the other on the cushions. "Riley, you think you hear gunshots every time someone shuts a car door outside. Hell, remember three days ago when you were in your room and I accidentally closed a kitchen cabinet too loudly?"
"Yes, I remember." The brunette admitted, seeing immediately where this was going.
"And what did you do?"
Riley hung her head down in disgrace, letting her long hair cover her shame. "I yelled 'gunshots' and ran into my closet."
"See? Everything is not always as petrifying as your adorable imagination makes it out to be...You just a lot'a work." She nudged her friend with her shoulder and gave the top of the girl's thigh a casual pat. "But that's exactly why we all love ya, Riles. You keep us on our toes."
"You know what is scary, Maya?" It was a good segue into the burden on her chest. "Moving—moving away from everything, away from you." Riley clutched Maya's hand between her two own longer ones, and fixated her sights on the face of her best friend. "The gunshots are about as intimidating as a bunny nightlight compared to the idea of not having you by my side anymore. Last night was evident enough of that—I couldn't sleep at all, I couldn't eat, and the only thought that ran through my entire brain from the very moment you walked out of here until the very moment I came in and found you laying there on the couch was that I just wanted you back home with me. How could I ever leave, Maya? How could I ever exist in a place that doesn't have my favorite person?" Searching Maya's eyes for any type of indication, Riley's mind raced frantically, pleading the universe for even the smallest sign of what she should do.
Maya lowered her gaze towards her hand, not fully sure how to process Riley's words; it was still interlocked precisely in the spot her hand loved to be held the most… Could this be it? Could this be her moment? If there was ever a time to put a giant stop to this whole outrageous idea, it was certainly now. Tell her to stay. Tell her to stay. Just open your worthless mouth and tell her to fucking stay. It was all that was repeating in her head, over and over, on a loop. However, for some reason the words were not coming out, not even beginning to. This was the person she loved more than anything, the kindest and most gentle soul she had ever met—someone that lit up a room just by being in it, and would never intentionally hurt a fly, let alone a human being. However, there was one single individual that Maya had encountered who had closely approached being as wholesome as Riley, as nice as Riley, as generous and caring—only one that deserved to be mentioned in the same category. Lucas. It was Lucas…he was a much more worthy person for Riley. By far more reliable and upstanding than Maya could ever hope to be. Why had she even been kidding herself? Everything suddenly clicked in her head, finally understanding her role here—it had been so obvious for so long, proven by that simple moment on the subway when she first released Riley to fall into Lucas's lap. Maya was always the one destined to push Riley out of her shell…to force her out of her comfort zone, and to encourage the girl to make bold choices when Riley was too frightened to do it herself. If anyone deserved the absolute best, it was Riley Matthews…so the best is what she would give her.
Breaking the lock between their hands, Maya pulled Riley in and guided the girl towards her lap so that her young quirky friend could rest a heavy head and heart on Maya's now supportive legs. Rubbing Riley's back, she soaked in this moment, aware it would be one of their last. "Do you trust me?" her voice had discovered its calm.
"More than anyone," Riley answered honestly.
"You have to go, Riles. You have to try. Your life here has been all you've known, so of course you're anxious about leaving…but Lucas is your future. And that life will be pretty amazing too." Maya smiled, finally feeling happy for her friend's upcoming adventure. She knew she was doing the right thing. She knew because sometimes the greatest way to love someone is to let them grow…to let them find their own feet.
"But Maya, I don't thin-"
"Hey," Maya interrupted, combing her fingers through Riley's wavy brown strands, soothing the girl instantly. "Just rest your eyes, honey. You've had a long day, but it's all going to be just fine. You're about to journey into the most beautiful sunrise. This is a good thing. This is where you get everything you've ever imagined…" It fell quiet. Peaceful. Maya could see the girl's chest begin to rise and fall more gradually, and knew that she was drifting off to sleep. Here she was, holding the one she loved in their sacred spot, realizing that whatever dreams were about to drift through Riley's mind, she most definitely deserved.
A/N: This fic is far from over guys, I hope to be able to post again soon. Thanks to all that gave feedback, I love reading your thoughts.