Apologies for the delay. I had an epic birthday/surprise party weekend and I couldn't get my act together yesterday.
Chapter 14
"I wanna kiss you all over" – Exile, "Kiss You All Over", It held the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100 for four weeks and Billboard ranked it as the No. 5 song for 1978.
He kisses me soft, our mouths moving perfectly together in the best first kiss ever before he stops and rests his forehead against mine.
We sit like that for a moment, breathing each other in.
"That was… unexpected," I say, practically a whisper on the sand in the ocean air between us.
I feel a shudder go through him as his hand comes up to wrap around my neck. "Bella, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."
Our legs are touching, and when I shift, he puts his hand on my knee. With a soft pull, he lays them across his lap and I feel like I'm about to die. "How long is a long time?" I ask while his fingers rub the soft skin at the back of my knee.
"Longer than I should've."
The thought that Edward wanted to kiss me for a few days now is something I can't quite comprehend, so I decide to not obsess about the details and just enjoy the fact that he is. "For the record, I've wanted you to do that for a long time, too."
We sit for another hour, talking and laughing, disagreeing about the songs that come on, and I'm thrilled when he doesn't let my hand go the whole time. I'm dying to ask him details about exactly when his thoughts might've changed about me, but I don't want to ruin the moment by being that needy girl.
He twines his fingers in mine and my thumb plays over the freckle I've studied intently across my outdoor dining table. "Guess I should get you home. It's almost curfew."
"Holy moly, Edward. Tell me you're not going to be worse regarding my welfare where Charlie is concerned just because you kissed me."
"Well, now I really have a reason to want him to like me."
"He already does."
"Yeah, but now I'm spending time with his biological daughter."
"Is that what you're doing? Spending time with me?"
He's looking at my mouth, that lazy smile playing across his own, and his hand trails down my calf gently. My stomach flips at the fact that he might be feeling that way towards me. "I would like to spend lots more time with you," he murmurs, then looks right at me, causing my insides to melt from the heat in his eyes. "That is, if you want to."
Well, doy. "Maybe."
"Maybe?" he asks as his eyebrows raise.
"Well, yeah. I mean you force gross food on me and have a fondness for bad movies. What girl would want more of that?"
He laughs as his fist playfully nudges my chin. "Hopefully you, Swansong."
I think I'm in love.
Two days later I walk past Rosalie's partially open door and peek my head in. The bed is made up neatly and I know in my gut she didn't come home last night. I haven't seen her in almost three days now, and even though I'm still boiling under my skin, it doesn't mean I'm not worried about her.
Renee has the small black and white TV in the kitchen tuned to Ryan's Hope. I swear, this is the same conversation Frank and Mary Ryan were having the last time I walked in about a month ago.
She looks like she's in the middle of baking, so I slide onto one of the orange, vinyl stools at the counter to watch.
"Oh, hi sweetie. What's up?" she asks as she pulls the wooden spoon from the holder next to the stove.
"Just waiting to find out if Frank will finally shut his trap." I nod to the TV.
"Oh, she'll get the final say. She's very headstrong." She smiles and looks at me, waiting because me sitting here with her is all sorts of weird. "Did you want something to eat?"
"No!" I answer rather harshly. "I just wanted to say thank you for talking to Alice."
Renee sighs and retrieves the eggs from the fridge. "She's got a long, hard road ahead of her." She looks up sharply. "You are taking your pill, right?"
"Yes, and please stop bringing it up. Especially in front of Charlie."
"Well, I'd rather bug you about it and embarrass you than have you forget."
I contemplate what she's said and play it through my head. For as spacey as she is, she does seem to want what's best for me. "You do care about me, don't you?" I say it more like a fact than a question.
She puts the eggs down and rests her hands on the counter. "Of course, I do. I know I haven't been your stepmother long, and I don't really have much say in your life … " She trails off before taking two eggs out and cracking one. "You came into this house a teenager, but way more adult than I ever was at your age. You didn't need my help, you were already doing fine on your own."
I reach over and take a piece of shell out of the bowl. Renee just grins and shrugs, cracking the other.
"It's not that I didn't need you, I just… hadn't had a mom in a long time, I got used to it. Besides, you had Rosalie."
"Rosalie was a handful. She still is." She looks at the clock and I can see the worry in her face. "You just always seem so able to handle yourself, so I let you be."
I nod, remembering both her and Rosalie have said similar things lately, and I wonder if I haven't been putting up a wall where they're both concerned, giving off an air of not needing either of them. "I am pretty self-sufficient. But I wouldn't mind maybe going to lunch or something like that some time. Just the two of us."
You'd think Renee won cooking lessons from Julia Child, she's so excited. "That would be lovely." She continues concocting her mix, and I slide the salt out of her hand and replace it with baking soda. I sit and watch, happy to offer suggestions as she goes.
"What's the occasion for the bake-fest?"
"Carlisle and Esme are coming over for dinner tonight." She pauses when I look up sharply. "Charlie is picking up Chinese. I figured the least I could do is try to make dessert."
"Ah." As much as I'd like to see Carlisle's bare ass in the pool, I think I'll find other plans for the evening. I want to call Edward and see what he's up to, but it's probably too soon for that and I don't want to bug him when I know he's been busy in the editing lab. "Here, let me help."
We stand side-by-side and finish the cookie dough, Renee slapping my hand playfully each time I try to eat the chocolate chips out of the bag. It's a fun, lighthearted hour, and when we finish and they come out of the oven, I grab one and turn to head to my room. Taking a bite, the chocolate is gooey and warm, and the dough is perfectly sweet. I turn back to the kitchen and stick my head around the corner.
"Hey, Renee."
"Yes, sweetie?"
I hold up the cookie. "These are really good."
The smile on her face is brighter than her Day-Glo fingernails.
An hour later, the phone rings and Renee calls out it's for me. Picking up the extension in my room, I'm thrilled when I hear the voice in my dreams on the other end.
"Hey," Edward says, sounding happy.
I'm positive he can see me smiling from his house. "Hey."
"I had a really good time the other night."
My insides turn to mush. "Me too. Thanks for the regular American food."
"You're welcome. What are you up to?"
"Nothing. I was baking cookies with Renee. Your folks are coming over for dinner. Someone had to supervise so they won't get food poisoning."
"Good thinking. Are they in the clear?"
"I ate two, so I think so. Unless I keel over later."
He clears his throat. "Well, why don't you come over here so I can keep an eye on you? You know, just in case."
"Um, sure. That sounds good." Understatement of the year. That sounds fucking great.
"Should I come get you?"
"Uh…"
"Unless you don't want me to?"
"It's not you, I'm just not ready, I don't think. For Renee and Charlie to know that we, uh, are… you know… hanging out?"
"I think they'd be okay with it, but I get it. How will you get here? You're not going to hitch, right?"
I smile and look in the corner of my room. "I got wheels."
Roller skating looks so easy in those Pepsi commercials. Everyone is smiling and weaving back and forth in their satin shorts and tube socks.
I look like I just got birthed from a horse.
I eventually make it in one piece, and pat myself on the back for having the foresight to put my hair up in a ponytail so it isn't sweaty. I wait around the corner for a few minutes until my face is less red before knocking on the door.
Esme greets me warmly and I'm a little surprised at the lack of surprise on her face. I guess Edward told her I was coming, and if she's confused as to why, she doesn't show it. She's dressed in a flowy red-striped dress and I can see her bikini straps around her neck. I was right that it was going to be a mini pool party, and I am very glad Edward called to get me out of that house.
I make a mental note to tell the pool guy to use extra chlorine in the grotto tomorrow.
Carlisle kisses me on the cheek and points towards Edward's room before they sashay out.
I've been outside Edward's house before, when Rosalie would need to run in for something quick or whatever, but I've never been inside. It's a classic SoCal mid-century modern–all one floor and the whole house basically wraps in a u-shape around the pool so every room faces it. I walk towards the floor-to-ceiling glass doors in the kitchen and wonder if I should go through the house or cut across the outside to the room Carlisle directed me to.
I see Edward's sliders are open, so I go outside and walk around the pool. Peter Frampton is playing on his hi-fi and I peek in to see him sitting against his bed on the floor, notebook in hand.
Knocking on the doorframe, he looks up and smiles when he sees me. He then points and laughs when he sees the roller skates flung over my shoulder.
"Wheels, huh?"
"Sure. I'm a pro."
"Come on in." He stands and I step onto his blue rug. His room is cozy, but not tiny. There's lots of sun coming in and it lights up his walls, the pool water reflecting and rippling through the room. All the posters are movie posters–The Godfather, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, A Clockwork Orange, even a Charlie Chaplin one. I walk around looking at all the titles, and smile to myself when I see the only girly poster on his wall is of Valerie Bertinelli. There's no Farrah, no Cheryl, no Loni.
He comes up behind me when he sees me lingering. "See? Brunettes are the way to go."
"Hmm." I turn around. "I guess she's cute."
"You're cute." When he leans in for a kiss, it's the most natural thing in the world. I suppose I've had lots of practice in my nightly dreams.
He opens a little mini fridge and hands me a beer. I like that he doesn't think I'm too young to drink and I open it, taking a healthy swig. "I like your room."
"Thanks."
"Do you live here year-round?"
"Yeah, it's nicer than the dorms." I nod, happy inside that he's not going to be an hour away when school starts, even if we never get that far.
"I noticed there wasn't a beer can pyramid or neon Schlitz sign."
"And no bongs lying around. That's in Carlisle's basement," he laughs.
"I don't even want to know what they're doing at Charlie and Renee's tonight." I semi-fake shudder.
"Thanks for that." He frowns.
"I didn't want to be the only one with that burned in my brain."
"Payback via food will be a bitch. You've been warned."
"Noted. Don't eat with Edward ever again." I squeal when he's suddenly upon me, grabbing my beer out of my hand and wrapping his arm around my waist to hold it away from me. When I stumble and fall back on his bed, he hovers over me and we're thisclose. His eyes roam over my face, landing on my lips.
"I don't like that." One side of his mouth turns up.
"What?"
"I don't want to hear you're never going to do something with me again." My body tingles as his touches mine ever so slightly. "It hurts my feelings."
"Who knew Edward Cullen was so sensitive?"
"I'm an artiste, we're delicate people." He takes a sip of my beer.
"Good to know. I'll have to limit my insults."
"Please don't. Your insults are a highlight of hanging out with you."
"I practice them in a mirror."
"Lucky mirror."
He's smiling at me until his face turns serious. My eyes are jumping between his while he slowly leans down and presses his lips to mine. When he pulls back, that smirk I melt for is firmly in place and all my extremities are tingling.
"This could turn into a very dangerous situation."
"It could?" My heart is beating so hard I'm sure they can hear it over at Zuma.
I don't dare move as he hangs over me. Suddenly, he breaks away, lifting his body from mine. "We shouldn't do this," he says and my stomach plummets at his words.
I sit up and push my hair behind my ears. "It's fine, it's nothing." I feel slightly dumb that he didn't want to continue. Maybe he really doesn't feel anything for me.
He stands at the edge of the bed and looks down at me, his hand ruffling his hair. "It's not nothing, Bella." He tips his head back and pinches the bridge of his nose like he used to at the dinner table when I would talk. That makes me want to throw up from embarrassment.
When he looks back at me he smiles before pulling me up by both hands and enveloping me in a hug. "I like you. I want to do things right."
And my heart beats frantically again.
And as goofy and Little House on the Prairie what he said is, I totally dig the fact that he doesn't want to just screw me and toss me away. I nod against him and smile, relieved and slapping myself inside for being such an insecure girl.
He presses his mouth to my ear. "But again, for the record, I've thought about being on my bed with you like that for a long time as well."
"We're going to need to talk about just how long these fantasies of me have been in your head." I'm giddy just saying these words, words I'd never thought I'd ever string together in a sentence.
He looks at me and smiles that lazy smile. "I'll tell you everything someday."
PB Fun Fact #1: Doy was a huge word (and insult) when I was growing up. Your brother says something stupid? You can call him a doy! Someone says something you already know? Say a-doy in the most sarcastic voice you can!
PB Fun Fact #2: Valerie Bertinelli was the prettiest girl on TV. My brother had a huge crush on her. And when she started dating Eddie Van Halen? OMG that was American royalty, right there.
PB Fun Fact #3: I never mastered the art of roller-skating. As kids, my siblings and I had those metal kind you strapped to your sneakers that made your teeth rattle as you rode. My friend Claire had the coolest roller skates, white with purple pom-poms tied to the front. I envied those. In a weird turn of events, I could ice skate though.
As always, thanks to my girls I'll never say a-doy to, LayAtHomeMom and CarrieZM.