Author's Note: In the last installment, I was trying to reference a particular show during the last piece. I didn't realize till after the fact that my references were pretty obscure, and the show might not be all that well-known. The Blue Barracudas are one of the teams from the 90's show Legends of the Hidden Temple on Nickelodeon. I have another reference in one of the chapters here- I'll reveal what it is at the end. Thank you very much for the great feedback- I greatly appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!
Prompts:
1. A character goes for a long walk before the sun rises
2. A character gets very angry at someone who they usually never get mad at
3. A character delivers flowers
Lost
Seven tried to imagine what the Captain- what the Admiral would suggest. It was easy to imagine what Kathryn Janeway would say if there were a number of clear options in front of her. Probably something along the lines of helping her to weigh the pros and cons of each decision, with the caveat that the final decision had to be hers alone.
Such advice was insufficient for this situation.
It felt as if a vast expanse of unknown possibility had opened up in front of her. There was no star chart to guide her, no sensors to give any hint of what was around her, she didn't even know which direction she might want to go, let alone have a clear goal- at least Voyager had always had a clear goal to work toward. The only point of reference she had was her past: childhood, assimilation, life as a drone, being severed from the collective, Voyager, Earth, Chakotay.
Alone.
The word popped into her mind unbidden, and she felt her throat start to constrict in response. Cannot function alone… Removing the failsafe would make me weak… She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to drive the thoughts away before catching herself. She willed her shoulders to relax and took in a deep breath through her nose, concentrating on the scents of pine and sage and mint; the collective hadn't added much to her sense of smell, but there had been sufficient enhancement that she could almost taste the mint. There were no sounds of birds at the moment, but the wind gently rustled the tree branches above her and made a faint howling noise in the valley several meters to her left- a small animal, likely a squirrel, scurried across the foliage behind her. She laid her hand on the tree beside her, noting the thick rough bark beneath her palm.
Then she drew on that part of the collective that had always remained with her.
Order. Harmony. I am one among many, part of a greater whole. I may no longer have a clear function, but I am not alone.
At least not exactly.
She kept walking, noting that she had already walked twelve point seven five kilometers. The dim light of dawn was barely starting to color the sky behind her, and she felt neither tired nor hungry. Still, she knew it would be wise to pause soon and drink one of the nutritional supplements she had brought with her. The lake should only be another four point two kilometers ahead- perhaps then would be a suitable time.
For now she would continue to walk.
Although she had no desire to let her thoughts wander (because they inevitably wandered to her recent failure and that was proving quite difficult to think about, sometimes leading to such irrationally intense feelings of being alone that they sometimes brought on panic attacks), there was one thought which drifted across her mind and brought her some comfort:
Her relationship with Commander Chakotay had indeed ended, but it had also changed her. And perhaps that was a good thing.
Betrayal
If she had known it would upset him this much, she wouldn't have done it. She was genuinely sorry that she had.
The Doctor refused to look at her. "I just don't understand, Seven. You... You knew how much this means to me." He shifted slightly, leaning against Sickbay's central console. His right hand clenched into a fist on top of the grey metal. "Was I just... not good enough?"
"Doctor, that is not-"
He rounded on her, eyes blazing. "Then why?"
Irritation instantly replaced remorse. She stiffened and met his eyes with her own glare. "Because I was curious, Doctor. Need I point out that you yourself have often encouraged my curiosity. I fail to see why-"
"Because I wanted us to experience it together!" This time his expression was one of almost comical desperation. Seven might have been amused if she didn't know him so well. She had caused him emotional damage. Remorse returned like a rock in her throat. Curiously (unfortunately), it failed to dislodge the irritation. He continued, "We both experienced the cliffhanger together, we should have experienced the 'exciting conclusion' together!"
Peace Offering
Normally, staring out the mess hall window at the stars had a calming effect on her. In this instance, all she could think of was the fact that a particularly bright point of light was actually a cluster of twelve very-far-away stars, a fact that a recent astrometrics scan had revealed to her. The number twelve made her think of her error in choosing to play the twelfth chapter (one which ended as a cliffhanger) of a certain holonovel without the Doctor.
She had left Sickbay before her own confusion and irritation caused her to say something that would only exacerbate the situation. A part of her suspected that that action might have made things worse- she had seen out of the corner of her ocular implant the Doctor's shoulders slump just before the Sickbay doors closed behind her.
Competing thoughts battled for her attention, and in her irritation it was hard not to want to dismiss both of them as irrelevant: Why had such an innocuous action irritated the Doctor so badly? What could she do to alleviate the damage?
The doors to the mess hall opened with a gentle hiss. Seven relaxed slightly at the sight of the captain.
Janeway must have caught some expression on Seven's face that she didn't realize was there because the captain paused, smiled slightly, then glanced away before marching directly to the replicator. "Coffee. Black." She took a long sip, then joined Seven by the window. "You look like there's something on your mind." She raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to talk about it?"
"I do not understand the complexity of romantic relationships."
The captain laughed, then caught Seven's eye. "Forgive me, Seven. But that's something that everyone has trouble with."
"Elaborate."
Janeway took another long sip of coffee, still smiling. "Well, just think about it. Think about how far you've come as an individual, all the things you've discovered about what that means. The complexity of human emotion… You've been through quite the journey."
Seven raised an eyebrow slightly. "Your point, Captain?"
"What you've accomplished in the past few years is something which every individual must go through. For most of us, the process is just stretched out over a couple decades- but even then it never really stops." Janeway looked at her- the smile was gone but her eyes were still gentle. "Being in a romantic relationship is essentially about entering another person's world, letting them enter yours. Now just think about what that means- you already know what a complex journey you've had yourself. I can't say there are many people who have been assimilated then cut off from the collective, but no one's journey is simple."
Seven frowned slightly and returned her gaze to the stars outside. "Indeed."
The captain chuckled softly. "And you've certainly chosen someone with a colorful journey of their own. Don't be fooled, Seven. The Doctor may have given you social lessons, but he wasn't always so… benign."
The corner of Seven's mouth twitched into a small smile. She was well aware of the Doctor's lingering tendency to try people's patience.
"Is there something in particular that's sparked this pensive mood?"
Seven's frown returned. Her eyes flickered briefly to the cluster of stars before she looked back at the captain. "I believe I have made an error, but I do not understand it."
Janeway raised an eyebrow before raising her mug to take another sip. "Elaborate."
Seven clasped her hands behind her back. "The Doctor and I had been working through a holonovel together- one which he picked that he believed we would both enjoy."
"Let me guess. The two of you discovered you have differing tastes in fiction."
"On the contrary, the Doctor's selection was rather engaging, and the two leading characters were remarkably suitable for the both of us. By all accounts things were going well."
"I sense a 'however' coming."
"However, the last chapter of the program ended as a cliffhanger." Seven snapped her mouth shut. Curious. Having to explain the situation to the captain somehow made what she had done feel worse than it had when she explained it to the Doctor.
Janeway paused, then looked out the window. "I think I know where this is headed."
"I fail to understand why the Doctor would be so upset that I would run the next chapter on my own." It was a feeble attempt at a defense, and her voice was a great deal weaker than it had been in Sickbay.
Janeway passed her coffee cup from her right hand to her left and patted Seven's shoulder. "Something tells me that's not quite true."
Seven kept her eyes locked on the star cluster. She felt heat rising to her cheeks. "Perhaps not," she said softly.
A hint of motherly affection entered Janeway's voice. "To be fair, these things aren't so important to everyone. I'm not entirely surprised that it is important to the Doctor, especially if he was careful to choose a program he thought both of you would enjoy. But don't be too hard on yourself, Seven. The two of you may have an established friendship, but you've only been romantically involved for a short while. If all goes well, the two of you will still be learning new things about each other even years from now."
"If all goes well."
Janeway chuckled again. "Don't sound so glum, Seven. This kind of situation can be restored."
The Doctor had been obviously hurt. For a brief moment, he had even sounded angry. She couldn't get the image of his shoulders slumping out of her mind. "How?"
"You once did a thorough study on the topic of romance. You tell me." Janeway touched her arm briefly before making her way across the mess hall, coffee cup still in hand. She paused at the door, then half turned toward Seven. "If you don't mind me asking, which program was it?"
"It is called Nikki Heat. It is about a detective who consults with the novelist Nathan Castle to solve murder investigations. It is based off a twentieth century television show."
Janeway lowered her gaze, smiling into her coffee cup. "Well. I must say that does sound fitting for the two of you."
Seven tilted her head in acknowledgment.
…
Thinking about the particular error which had nearly caused Lieutenant Torres to start a fight with her initially made Seven want to cringe. But she trusted the captain. Perhaps something of value could be gleaned from that previous embarrassment.
After a half an hour of looking over the data, Seven had her answer.
She marched to the replicator, punched in a command, took the result in hand and made her way quickly through the ship's corridors with more speed than mere efficiency required.
The thoughts which had previously crowded her mind were replaced with new ones: At this hour it was unlikely she would run into anyone in the halls- she certainly hoped she didn't; given what she carried she wasn't eager to be the subject of a new rumor in the morning. It was also likely the Doctor was still active and catching up on work, though it wasn't certain; she hoped that he was. Although her study indicated a specific result in the case of Torres and Paris, there was no guarantee that result would be replicated in this instance.
Thankfully, she didn't run into any crewman. But that didn't alleviate the anxiety that had steadily been building to a palpable intensity. She lingered a short distance from the Sickbay doors, hesitating and not wanting to trigger their automatic response.
She lifted her chin slightly, Nerves are irrelevant, and marched through the door.
She was nearly tackled.
"Seven! I'm sorry I got so upset. I-I didn't expect you to come back until after your shift tomorrow. Heh. Normally I would be upset with you for not regenerating at this hour, but I'm just happy to see you. It was foolish of me- it's just a holonovel after all, and you're right, I do encourage your curios- Hm? What's this?" The Doctor stepped back from his tight embrace and eyed the roses in her hand curiously. "Twelve flowering plant stems, species rosa rubifolia?" He raised an eyebrow, obviously trying to suppress a small smirk.
Seven felt her face heat up. "I realize it is not conventional for the female to deliver flowers."
A wide grin spread across the Doctor's face. "But you thought they would 'affect a cessation of hostilities'?" The Doctor chuckled. Then something passed across his face and he looked down. His voice became subdued. "Well. I started to regret my outburst as soon as you left earlier, but I didn't think you saw it as hostile. If that's the case…"
"I did not see it as hostile, Doctor," Seven said quickly. "I realized I had caused you emotional damage and I thought this would help to rectify the situation."
The Doctor looked up at her again and another, more gentle smile spread across his face. "Seven… that's very thoughtful."
"I also will not run any holodeck programs we start together without you in the future. And I am happy to run episode twelve again with you. I will not spoil the 'exciting conclusion'."
The Doctor took the roses with one hand and took her metal-laced hand with his other. He sniffed at the roses. It was a curious habit he had- Seven had observed that he often liked to sniff at things that commonly produced a pleasant odor. She wondered if he was trying to imagine what the sensory experience of it was like, based on his brief time living as an organic, his program hiding in her Borg implants.
He chuckled softly. "Well. A former Borg and a hologram? We've never been very conventional anyway, have we?"
End note: The reference in the last segment is to the show Castle, an American murder mystery show that ran through the 2010's.