Chapter 19

"Whenever I call you friend
I begin to think I understand
Anything we are
You and I have always been forever and ever." – Kenny Loggins, "Whenever I Call You Friend", reached #5 in the autumn of 1978. "Whenever I Call You 'Friend'" is a duet with Stevie Nicks, who, though credited on the album track, is not credited on the single, making "Whenever I Call You 'Friend'," in effect, Loggins's first major solo hit.

His hands are moving up and down my back as he gently flips us. He's more thoughtful than me when he moves the blanket so my head is resting on that instead of the sand. He kisses me slow and I can't help but keep my eyes open. I'm still in shock about all the stuff he told me, like how he's felt towards me all this time, and if his tongue wasn't in my mouth right now, I'd probably think I was dreaming.

But it is, so I go with it.

His fingers tangle in my hair and his body shifts, pressing his weight on me. There's no hesitation like there's been before when we've been in this position, he's all business right now, kissing the life out of me with a need I haven't felt from him before. My arms are wrapped around his neck and when he holds my head in his hands and rubs against me a bit, I have to fight the urge to open my legs and welcome him in because I don't want to scare him off. His fingertips move and surf down my body, lightly stroking my side before they stop at my hip and rest there, clutching my skin through the dress.

He gives a small moan before his mouth slows and decreases pressure. We both take a deep breath, and he's looking down at me, smiling. "Have you had your eyes open the whole time?"

"No. I closed them for about a second somewhere in there. I'm pretty sure."

He leans down and kisses me sweet, first on my lips, then on my cheek, chin, forehead and lips again. I've never felt so adored under someone's touch.

He shifts and leans to the side, propping his head in his hand while moving his thumb in soft circles across my stomach. "Dear lord, you're going to kill me. You're a fantastic kisser."

"I know." I throw him a goofy smile. "So why aren't you still kissing me?"

"Can't I just enjoy laying here with you like this?"

Gah. "Sure." I turn into him, reaching out to play with one of the buttons on his shirt, still high at the idea that I can just do things like this. "I've enjoyed everything about tonight. I wasn't lying, you know. Your film was the best. I'm really proud of you."

"I wouldn't normally admit this, but I think I agree with you. There were some studio people there tonight. One approached me about an internship, so that's a good sign."

I smack him solidly in the chest. "You're just telling me this now?"

"I had more urgent business with you than that."

"Edward, that is so cool! Are you going to do it?"

He sighs. "Between school and that, I don't know that I'd have much time with you, and you're kind of my favorite thing right now."

That earns him a solid smack on the lips. "You have to do it. Don't worry about me. I still have a year of high school left where I have to figure out what's next." I laugh.

He groans and lowers his head to my chest, and I can't breathe with how couple-y this feels. "I'm dating a high-schooler."

"You might be, but apparently she's a really good kisser."

"I plan to kiss her a lot. Like, a lot."

"She plans to let you." I smile, but feel slightly nervous. "Does that bother you? That I'm still in high school?"

"Not at all. Anyone that knows you knows you aren't some stupid bubble-headed girl, and I don't care what anyone thinks, anyway." His hand slides up to my neck and he grips it. It's so hot. "You and I both know what this is between us, that's all that matters." He leaves my neck and traces my lips with his thumb.

His touch makes me as stupid as Chrissy Snow. "So this is a thing now? We're official?"

He smiles huge. "Yes. We can go to Mac's with no fear that I'm never going to hang out with you again in public."

The thought of Mac's reminds me that I have a grenade in my bag. Fucking Rosalie is still messing up my shit. But this time, I'm more worried than mad.

I try to get my mind off of it when I lean in to kiss him, which he returns whole-heartedly. We make out for a while, his hand floating around my stomach, my hip, my thigh, but staying respectable on the public parts of my body. I'm dying to know what it would feel like to have him touch me in all the non-public places, but this night is too sweet to turn into a–

I was about to say porno.

There is no way I can sit here and get all worked up with Edward when I've got a girlie mag with Rosalie buck-naked on the glossy cover swimming behind my eyes.

I slow our kissing and pull away, looking down at his shirt which somewhere along the way, I've snaked my hand into. "Edward," I say apprehensively.

"Yes?" He's breathy, looking at my mouth with hooded eyes and I debate whether or not to ruin this night.

"Besides what we are now, we are friends, right?"

"I'd like to think that's how we started, and now we're more. But friends, always."

Swoon, he's so cute. "What if I had to tell you something horrible?"

He pulls back and gives me the stink eye. "You breaking up with me already, Swansong?"

"Not even in the realm of possibility."

"Let me guess. You're secretly looking forward to The Wiz coming out?"

"Yes, I am actually and as my boyfriend you now have to take me, but that's not it."

"Okay, lay it on me."

I sigh and against everything in me telling me to stay, I pull away from Edward and get up. Grabbing my bag from his dad's car, I carry it over and sit with it in my lap. He's looking at the bag with amusement, and I know he's about to feel something much, much different.

Pulling out the magazine, I hold the cover to my chest. "I saw this at the store, and I don't know what to do about it. This might upset you, and I'm sorry, I just need advice."

"You're scaring me." He smirks.

I hold it out to him and search his face. At first, he's still looking at me as he takes it, but then, when he looks down, I see his face change from bemused curiosity to shock, before it morphs into anger.

His fingers tighten, wrinkling the sides of the magazine. "What the fuck is this?" His words come out slow, hushed.

I know he's not expecting an answer to that. "Angela and I saw it on the rack yesterday. I don't know what to do."

He doesn't say anything more for a while, just stares at it with his eyes narrowed and mouth drawn tight. Finally, he puts it face down on the blanket. "I assume there's more in there?" His voice is terse.

"Angela said so, yes."

"Emmett."

I don't say anything, just nod in agreement. He puts his face in his hands and rubs up and down. I don't know if I should touch him or what, so I just sit there, hating the fact that I'm wondering if he's upset and feels responsible she's on the cover of a nudie mag looking like a whore, or possibly deciding that she needs him more than I do.

"Do I try to find her? Tell Charlie and Renee…?"

He looks up and there isn't sorrow in his face, there's anger. "What do you mean try to find her?"

"She hasn't been really at the house at all. She stayed out for two days straight a while ago. I haven't seen her since."

"I think it's obvious where she is. Or with whom."

"Are you very upset?"

"Of course I'm upset! Rosalie is dabbling in pornography. Who knows how far this has gone already?"

I hadn't thought of that. "You think she'll do more?"

"If she isn't, she soon will be." He finally loses the angry face and sighs, before looking at me. "There's a guy at school who has a cousin in the industry. He makes adult films and he says it's booming over in Encino now. Digital video makes it really cheap and easy to produce shit like that quickly. We're not talking artsy Deep Throat stuff, we're talking down and dirty pornography. The things he told me about the whole thing are just awful. It's really seedy."

"It's not your fault, Edward," I say, raking my fingers through the sand nervously. Way to ruin the night, Swan.

"No, it isn't. But maybe I should've seen it coming."

"Do you… think you should go find her? I'd understand if this has changed things now, you wanting to you know, go help Rosalie."

Edward's face falls and he grabs my sand-covered hand. "Bella, this has nothing to do with us. Do I feel bad that Rosalie is getting involved in something like this? Fuck yes, of course I do." He looks up at the sky, like he's searching for words. "The type of girl she is, she's going to do what she wants, what makes her feel important, regardless of what we think of it. If I'd had any idea she was on the edge of this… I could've maybe talked to her about it or something, but it probably wouldn't have changed the outcome anyway," he sighs.

He pulls me into a hug and I feel instantly better "This hasn't changed anything about us or how I feel about you. It's you and me, now, that's it. All we can do is help her if she needs it, but as for me leaving you to solve her problems? Not gonna happen."

I put my arms around his waist and inhale his scent. "I'm sorry to lay this on you."

"It's exactly what you should've done. I don't want you carrying stuff around like this alone now that you've got me."

We look out at the water, lost in our thoughts, and he lulls me into a state of calm as he rubs his hand lazily across my shoulder.

"I think I should tell Charlie and Renee. I know she's nineteen, but they're still her parents. I just don't want her to hate me."

"If you if you want me to be there when you do, I will be." I look up at him, his beautiful face lit by moonlight and I feel a blanket of protection around me I've never felt from someone before.

"Thank you. But I think I need to do it alone. Just the three of us."

He nods against the top of my head. "And Bella, if she hates you for this, she hates you. That's on her. Hopefully someday, she'll realize you did it because you love her."

I hope he's right.

The next morning, I take a deep breath and walk down the hallway slowly, magazine in hand.

I can hear Charlie and Renee laughing in the kitchen, slurping coffee and eating. I don't smell anything dying so I assume Charlie went to get some donuts which he does occasionally on a Saturday when they aren't hungover and cleaning up after a Friday night soiree.

"Good morning, sweetie!" Renee says brightly as I sit at the kitchen table, stuffing the magazine under my butt. "Did you enjoy the rest of your night, last night?" She rests her chin in her hand and looks at me all starry-eyed.

"I did. Uh, I guess Edward and I are dating now."

Charlie slaps his hand down on the table. "I knew it! Pay up, Renee." He smiles and holds his hand out to her. She just waves him off and looks back at me.

"Well, that's exciting, isn't it?"

"I get the feeling you guys aren't surprised," I say dryly.

"No one is surprised except the two of you." Charlie laughs.

"Glad you find my love life so funny. When did you even begin to think he had feelings for me?"

"That boy has been looking at you across the dinner table like a lovesick fool for months." My traitor father smiles at me.

"Is that why you told him to watch me?" I'm still incensed about that, regardless of his good intentions.

"One of you needed a push. It was painful to watch you both denying what was obvious. Esme and I spoke about it at length." Renee answers.

"Holy hell." I palm my face, but secretly, I'm smiling like a loon inside. "Aren't you… upset? I mean, he was Rosalie's boyfriend."

At the mention of her daughter's name, Renee sighs. "Love is fickle. My daughter even more so." She closes her eyes a moment and Charlie rests his hand on her arm.

"That wasn't ever going to be a relationship that had any legs. I trusted that Edward would do the right thing where she was concerned while he figured it out," he says, stroking her skin.

"He did. I uh… we didn't even really talk until they'd broken up."

"He's such a nice boy," Renee says, almost sadly. I can see the wheels turning, probably wishing Rosalie didn't push such a nice guy away. I'm glad she doesn't seem upset that he went for me instead.

"He is." I pour some OJ from the yellow daisy-print pitcher into a matching juice glass and grab a donut more for just something to do with my hands that know they should be pulling out the magazine instead of feeding my mouth. Taking a bite, we talk some more about the premiere, and I tell them about the internship the studio offered Edward. Renee presses me for girl talk about what transpired between us after we left, wanting all the romantic details. I leave out all the kissing stuff, but throw her a bone when I tell them a little about the things we confessed to each other.

Charlie repeatedly tells Renee he won whatever bet they had about us. They look so happy and kinda smug, as they listen to me talk about Edward while we eat crullers and Boston cremes, drink coffee and tease each other like a happy little TV sitcom family with no problems.

Ruining their morning is going to suck.

PB Fun Fact: I had an 'older' father, so instead of going to Disney and stuff we'd take family vacations to Bermuda. (I know, I know, tough life, but when you're a kid, you wanna see Mickey). Anyway, one summer the hotel was playing The Wiz on repeat for some reason, and I'd take every opportunity we weren't doing something else to watch it. One night, they found me in the ballroom all by myself watching it alone. Loved that movie.

Lots of love and thanks to the two people I would go to a used car lot for and defend them with my life, LayAtHomeMom and CarrieZM!