It starts as a chip.
Realisation number 1: He doesn't need me anymore.
Noah becomes steadily more… confident… proud of who he is. He just becomes… more…
…everything…
Used to being at the very epicentre of Noah's life, it's a shock to suddenly (occasionally) find himself on the side-line.
Benched.
And it seems the more Noah finds himself, the more desirable he becomes; like when a flower's petals open all the way to the sun.
And others are taking notice.
Noah's student advisor certainly notices… and wants…
Realisation number 2: One day, Noah might find something more than me.
The wind blows in; slight at first… almost a breath… almost soft enough to ignore… almost…
The chip grows fine splintering legs.
Realisation number 3: I have problems with trust.
Noah's accident sends those legs running; fine cracks spreading, fingering across the once smooth surface of Luke's heart.
Once the momentum sets in, it can't be stopped. The speed of it takes his breath away.
No going back.
Fragility formed.
Realisation number 4: I need Noah more than Noah needs me.
As Noah asks for time apart, Luke knows his brittle heart can't weather a half-relationship.
It ends.
Yet it doesn't.
The sky darkens. The wind becomes a storm; made ever more brutal contained as it is within the confines of their broken relationship.
The cracks splinter and widen.
He watches from afar; Noah on a date.
Luke's heart finally shatters; sharp pieces flying, piercing his lungs; his throat.
Realisation number 5: It's been months since Noah laughed like that with me.
Luke hardens what is left.
Reid stands waiting to pick up the pieces.
Realisation number 6: There are other men out there to love me.
With focussed attention, Reid takes what's left of Luke's heart and patches it crudely back together with glue and duct-tape.
Reid is not Noah but he's… he's…
So when Noah begs for a second chance Luke is stronger…
Realisation number 7: He's going places. He's too good for me. I'll Let him go before I hold him back.
The fixed up heart isn't perfect. Sharp prickly shards extend out from the repaired organ. Some pieces are lost. Try as he might, Reid can't find those. They leave holes of all sizes.
They change Luke.
But (mostly) Luke is better.
He is…
…comfortable…
He's moving forward just as Noah is doing in Los Angeles. Noah is following his dreams. Luke takes comfort in that.
Luke never expects his delicate heart to break again.
He feels Reid's knowing hand on the small of his back; supporting him. Luke's body is numb with a coldness brought on by the unexpected.
A wedding in Chicago - Reid's roommate from med-school, Greg, marrying a beautiful girl from Halifax, Canada.
Finding Noah slow dancing with another man (like he's in love) is the very last thing Luke expects.
"Do… do you know him?" Luke shakily asks Reid without looking away from the dance floor.
"Michael. He's Greg's brother. An actor from L.A..."
Realisation number 8: I still love you.
Luke nods. The room sways; seems too small all of a sudden; too hot.
Luke's big heart rumbles a warning.
He shakes his head as he feels those familiar splinters strike his chest.
Bolting outside, Luke has nowhere to go; flops back against the wall.
Reid's immaculately shined black shoes come into view.
"He's so beautiful…" Luke sobs. "I'm sorry… I thought…"
"I know you did."
Reid hurts. Luke can tell. Perhaps Luke is the only person who ever could.
Realisation number 9: Reid's been waiting for this moment.
But Reid nods. "So, what are you going to do about it? Stay out here and cry like a jilted schoolgirl, or man up, go back inside, and ask the love of your life to dance?"
"But what if-"
"Hearts already broken, Luke. How much worse can it get?"
Noah looks confident in the centre of a group of guests. He says something with a smile that hallows his face and they all laugh.
Noah knows instantly when Luke is close. His frame, which up till then has been at ease, tenses.
The guests feel it too. They watch Luke's approach like they're expecting something…
…extraordinary…
"May I have this dance?" Luke asks Noah's back with more gusto than he feels. His hands are sweating. His legs are weak.
He loses his breath as Noah turns.
Noah's surprised eyes are bluer than ever. He opens his mouth to ask the many questions Luke can see in them. But he seems to decide against it. Instead he whispers, "Yes."
As they lead each other to the dance floor, Luke spots Reid near the deserts, keeping Michael occupied. Reid catches Luke's eye and winks.
There's something magical, mysterious even, about the way Noah's body joins with his. Luke closes his eyes as Noah's arm slips round his waist, bringing them closer. Their cheeks touch and Luke whimpers; every nerve in his body flares to life.
He melts into Noah's warm embrace. They sway to the music. Lost shards of heart slot back where they belong.
Noah's had them all along; guarding them; cherishing them.
What once was shattered, reforms.
He isn't surprised to feel tiny kisses caress his neck; Noah's mouth nuzzling the hollow of his shoulder.
Luke shivers.
He turns his head slightly and catches Noah's lips with his own; tastes his tears. A tremor runs through them both.
Realisation number 10: We still are…