C.1 - The Smile
That beautiful smile.
Their lips had parted and for the first time ever she saw him crack a smile. A toothy, genuine, spur of the moment smile that seemed damned near impossible for him to show. Ships spiraled above in the chaos of war and for a moment, Rey just wanted to bask in this wave of pleasure, with his hands around her, the heat of his breath against her face, her first real moments with the Ben Solo she had worked so hard to unearth.
Under her finger tips she felt the texture of his skin, the numerous freckles and beauty marks she had failed to notice beforehand that appeared randomly across his skin. They were beautiful and unique and one of the many things she wanted to learn about him.
Still holding his face between her hands she pressed her forehead to his, their noses snuggled close, only the sounds of each other's uneven breathing took over. It was then she felt the familiar prickling at the back of her eyes and the tightness in her cheat, a tell-tale sign tears were ready to burst through the flood gates.
Rey figured she earned these. It only took her slightly cracking her eyelids open for them to come crashing down her cheeks and into his own, scorching hot from pent up anguish.
Ben pulled away from her slightly, but made sure not to part too far from her. "Why are you crying?"
Sheepishly Rey laughed, returning her fingers to her own face to flick away the stray tears. "Why are you crying?" Her fingers crept back to his face moist with her own tear remnents. He hadn't bothered to wipe his few away.
They both stared each other in the eye for a mere few moments before they both let out abashed breathy chuckles, leading into one last needed kiss.
"Because I love you." He drew his fingers through the messy hair on the back of her head and Rey instantly felt like melting, from both the instantaneous feeling of his fingers in her hair and the line she was waiting for. She herself was just moments away from saying it before she'd take him by the hand and lead him away from the chaotic surroundings.
She couldn't help a smile burst out first, broad and toothy, beaming brilliantly as Ben had never seen before. Something he told himself earlier on - he couldn't ever be the one to cause another frown or teary-eyed glance in his direction again. But now he supposed in this happy trance-like bliss these tears were okay, and he'd like to see more of these.
"Ben.." She breathed, lips trembling into a smile. "I love you too." In his tender brown eyes she could just feel the sincerity from his previous words, the love, and the caring, the protectiveness she had seen tonight. She watched as his features had completely softened as if a weight had lifted off his shoulder, as if he wasn't expecting her to say the words back to him. She needed him to feel loved.
Rey craned her neck upwards into the gaping hole above them, stars, ships both buzzing about and destroyed littered the sky. It was over, they both could sense it, Resistance ships retreating from where they came, zipping into nothing in the blackness.
"I can't believe it's finally over." She sighed triumphantly, allowing herself to melt back into his arms, her new favoured place to be. "And with you at my side, I wanted nothing less."
His long fingers returned to her hair and she nestled her face against the sweaty damaged long sleeve he had on. Complete with a hole she found, and when she dipped her fingers to tug on the hole she remembered she inflicted that upon him, giving herself a silent giggle in the process.
"It's exactly what I wanted as well." He spoke calmly, his heart beginning to return to normal, the adrenaline that caused his sweat to feel cold escaped his system and the pains of his inflicted wounds began to storm over. He had stopped drawing power from the pain through the darkness, now he was left to deal with the increasing human consequences. Pain ached through his bones, his entire right side throbbing and his chest bruising from the long leap onto the chain already, the feeling of pooling blood was all too familiar. He hadn't even thought it through, jumping so far to a chain that now seemed so far away, but with his mind fixated on getting to Rey he had just wildly jumped. Palpatine tossing him like a sack of bricks against the cold hard terra below, and consequently tumbling down a long and narrow trench didn't help his situation as well. Ben sighed with pain, he was surprised he even made it back up.
Rey leaned away and looked him over with cautious eyes, her brow just starting to twitch together. "We should regroup, get you some medical attention." Regretfully she crawled from his lap and offered him a sturdy hand to regain his balance. "You brought me back to life with whatever shred of life you had yourself, we both can't be on the brink of passing out."
He smiled and nodded in agreeance, taking her and using his core muscles to bring himself back up to his feet, which he then decided with a bristle of pain and a sharp sigh that wasn't a good idea.
Rey posited herself flush against his side with her arm reaching behind him and tucked under his armpit. "What ship did you take, I've only come in Luke's X-Wing." They began walking back toward the entrance slowly, Rey made sure not to push him too much, after all the Resistance could wait up for a bit longer without them.
"I saw.. Just a Tie." He spoke breathily, his free hand finding its way to his side to hold protectively. "I don't mind getting cozy if you don't." They both cracked impish smiles.
It took Ben some time to get back outside, but Rey stuck with him the entire time. Slowing down when he needed to catch a breath and allowing him to lean on her when he closed his eyes for a moment. She could feel the pain emanating from his being and as much as she wanted to share the pain, she couldn't. So instead she held him this last moment before the last few strides to the ship, her free arm wrapping around his front and her head placed square on his chest. She never thought she'd be this close to him, enough to hear his heartbeat strongly against his ribs, to feel his breath prickle the hair on her head, and his body heat to envelop her completely.
As his heart thumped on Ben caught his breath. "Okay, let's do this."
Rey detached herself from his side and quickly trotted toward the ship, monkeying up the side to open the hatch. She surveyed the insides. "It never seems this small when you're in it, but when you need to fit two people it looks like the smallest space.."
"I may be able to manage the tie fighter back to your base." Ben called out from below, peering upward at her with a furrowed brow.
"You're crazy if you think I'm letting you out of my sights." She smiled with a shrug. "We'll just have to get extra cozy." Rey hung to the side of the ship and stretched out her arm, opening and closing her fingers toward him. "Come on."
Ben reached up with a completely furrowed brow and a grunt to match, the pain was overwhelming now and just about every movement he did earned him a sharp pain in his side. They clasped hands and she pulled up with a grunt herself, nearly every muscle in her body churning to lift him up into the ship. He pulled himself into the cockpit and plopped down into the seat with an enormous exasperated sigh.
"Thank you." He managed to say while resting his forearm on a piece of side machinery. He allowed himself to close his eyes, in silence, as he figured Rey hovered over him piecing together how they'd sit.
"Here ... If you could just scooch over a bit..." She murmured, stepping into the seat carefully. Ben did what he could but when it wasn't enough she carefully placed her hands under his thigh and moved his leg to take up less space on the seat.
"You don't want me flying?" He mumbled with a small grimace, not bothering to crack an eye open because he knew exactly the face she'd make.
She shimmied herself down into the seat and stared at him over her shoulder with a twitching brow. "Funny. Last time I saw you flying you tried hitting me with your tie fighter."
She watched with her own smile as he cracked yet another small grin, eyes still closed and breathing fast. "You waited for me to approach you."
Rey pulled down the glass hatch over their heads and leaned as far back as she could without actually leaning against his distressed body. "I figured you'd follow me anyways so why not make it easier on both of us." She started up the engines with a few button presses and a lever, lights beaming onto their faces.
The ship began to whirl up and raise into the air, it did great for a ship twice older than her that lived in water for x amount of years. Rey was sure to take pristine care of it over the coming years.
Rey peered through the window one last time, taking in the sullen landscape and dreary aura that hovered over the place. "Good riddance, Exogal." With one last long pull from a lever, the ship soared into the air and away from this gods awful place. She peered over her shoulder to look at him, she could still hear him breathing behind her but to what degree she didn't know. "Still conscious?"
She felt him wrap his right arm around her abdomen. "You can't get rid of me that easily."
"Do you want to wear the pilots' helmet for extra safety?" She questioned him one last time before bringing them home with a playful smile.
"No."
Rey grimaced and their ship shot through the sky.
x
Pulling into the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss it was easy to spot the lush greenery of the jungle that wrapped around the planet. She felt like she spent so much time in those jungles, training and leaping and falling into warm marshes, going through many highs and lows. She spent nearly a year on this planet training while the Resistance gained their footing back, laying low until the right time to strike. She didn't mind in the slightest, the jungle biome was whole heartedly accepted by her after years of scorching alone on the desert fields of Jakku.
She pulled the ship down to skim over the tree line toward the base, leaving a perfect stretch of green meeting in the middle with the baby blue skies above.
"How are you doing?" She asked, focusing on the skyline before her to avoid any wild avian creatures that may pop up from the thicket of trees. Already she felt her knees begin to cramp up from the awkward positioning, but she waved it off - if I could live in a tiny AT-AT compartment I could do this for a while longer.
"It feels better to be stationary." Ben spoke smoothly in a low husky tone, having nearly fallen asleep multiple times behind her. Which slightly surprised him - he could usually only fall asleep in his quarters under tight locks, to keep from being assassinated. The corners of his lips almost tugged up into a smile. For once he felt like he could count on someone taking care of him.
"I bet." She brought the X-Wing to full throttle and they grazed over the treeline as fast as they could, whipping through stray branches in the process, shaving the tops of burly trees. "We'll be at the base soon enough."
Ben wished he could lean forward to rest his cheek on her shoulder for better access to holding her close but he could feel her drawing the ship to a slower pace. He opened his eyes and gazed out the window, jungles surrounded the hallowed grove where he assumed the base had been nestled in. Once he was administered medical attention, hopefully, he could have all the time in world to rest his head on her shoulders.
"What planet is this?" He didn't recognize it immediately, a remote planet, or moon, covered entirely by thick jungles. He knew of only a few jungle planets but none this dense.
"Ajan Kloss." She replied thoughtfully, lowering the ship into an open spot in the clearing. "Jungle moon of Ajara."
The ship geared down once it settled onto the ground below. "Hmm." Ben hummed, watching her every movement as she carefully turned around to face him. "Outer Rim Territories?" She nodded and carefully let the hatch above them open. It wasn't like he hadn't been actively searching for her this past year, so he had to ask to satiate his own pent up curiosity.
Ben glanced out the window. They were celebrating down there. Hugging and cheering and running about happily, celebrating their hard-earned win and mourning their losses. A lump formed in his throat, hard and tight and it passed to his stomach, dropping at the weight. "I don't think I'll be welcomed." He also couldn't blame them. Not in the slightest. He and his regime took hundreds and thousands of lives and in the process destroyed countless others.
Rey unlatched him. "They don't know what's transpired." With a sigh, she placed her hands on his shoulders. "They definitely won't be welcoming. And they'll be angry.. But I'm sure most of them will be relieved to hear of your turn around... Saving me.."
"You could leave me in here until this party dies down."
She smiled and leaned in. "You may be greatly injured, Ben, but you don't get off that easily." She kissed his slightly ajar lips and peeled herself away. "Besides, most of them won't recognize you without that helmet of yours."
Rey positioned herself outside of the cockpit and offered up her arms for service, heaving him up into a standing position. She watched him warily and worriedly as he wavered slightly on his own two feet, holding his left hand on the opened hatch for balance while giving a gentle squeeze to her hand.
"Alright.." She mumbled, nearly tripping over her own feet trying to figure out the best way to bring him down.
"I think I can manage to get down.." He spoke, surveying the leap from the wing to the ground. It would hurt he was sure of but being able to close his eyes and rely on her to get him to safety allowed him to regain some shred of energy. He looked at her, her unsure facial expression, full of worry. He couldn't remember the last time a person looked at him like that, after all, he did work with people that yearned for his own death for years.
"Are you sure?" She shimmied down the wing to make room for him to step down.
"I'm sure." Ben reiterated as he stepped down, his curious gaze fixated on the crowd across the way. He could see a few turned heads toward the ship and his heart began to race. They were onto them, they could see Rey, the relief washing over their faces. Most did not recognize him, thankfully, or maybe they were so overcome with love for Rey theyre choosing to ignore him? He couldn't tell.
The wing of the ship creaked under his unsure heavy footing, slowly walking toward the part of the wing closest to the ground. He could see Rey's friend draw near as he cracked his head up, but Ben couldn't remember his name, not in this hazy state he was in, but he knew he was in for some flak. He watched as Rey slid off the wing and stood strongly on the concrete marred with cracks and overgrown weeds. Carefully he sat on the edge of the wing and allowed himself to slide off, his boots hitting the concrete with a thud, the weight of his body heaving onto his sore legs. He inwardly hissed and ground his teeth together, but he made sure to hide it from Rey. She had enough on her plate as is, she didn't need to worry more about him.
"You're good?" She questioned worriedly, again wrapping her right arm behind his back in a supportive manner, peering up into his half-lidded eyes with her own, her left hand wandering to the square of his chest to rest idly.
He nodded, his messy mane of hair moving along with the gentle winds carried through the jungle trees. The fresh air felt nice against his skin and in his lungs, and cooling against the heat of his scalp. The stagnant air on Exogal was choking, to say the least, so Ben straightened up with newfound fresh energy to make it to the medical bay.
They walked out into the open the landing pads, and Ben, who chose to ignore what he saw, knew her friends were coming closer. His grip from his left hand on her left shoulder tightened when she perked up to the noise from her friends. It wasn't that he was particularly worried about being called out by them, as he knew they deserved to lash out at him and more, but he wasn't certain just how long he could stand and take said punishment without Rey intervening. As they approached Ben saw their faces contort from happiness and glee to ... anger and confusion.
"Rey?" Finn piped up, his brows meeting completely in the middle. "What's this about?" He raised his hands in Ben's direction, taking a defensive position against the two. "Is he holding you against your will!?"
"No!" Rey exclaimed with a massive smile, waving Finn's accusation off with her hand.
"Last time I saw you guys together you were jumping over massive waves trying to kill each other!" Finn puffed out rather angrily, still eyeballing ben like a predatory animal, ready to strike at any second. Ben merely stared at him, having not a word to say for himself. Rey was better at speaking neutrally, it's something he'd have to work on for sure, but right now wasn't that time.
Rey chuckled. "It was... more complicated than that, Finn.." She faced Ben, stepping just slightly away from him for a second. "Are you okay to stand on your own for a moment?"
He didn't particularly want to let go of her, but he did under the squinting eyes of Finn and the pilot he remembered interrogating, Poe Dameron it was. His fingers uncurled off her shoulder and his arm fell to his side. The two of them embraced Rey, her back to him, and the two sets of eyes driving into his own with fiery hatred. They held her close and finqlly they allowed themselves to decompress and share a long winded sigh of relief.
Ben gulped behind his stoical mask. One he had attempted to murder on Starkiller Base and the other he painfully manipulated his mind until he got key information, painful for Poe that was. Beforehand he would have written them off as nobodies, a traitor and a smart mouthed pilot that made no real dent in this world. Guilt washed over him now, guilt that people so close to Rey had suffered at his own hands. Ben had a lot to atone for and these two would be the first on that list.
"Explain again why he's here..?" Poe murmured against the side of Rey's head, his angry hot breath tickling her ear and his eyes squinty, measuring Ben's every small movement. Poe warily let go of Rey and stepped to the side, threateningly, with Finn joining up by his side.
"Let's save the dramatics for later." She rejoined Ben and held him close to share his heavy body weight. She appreciated Finn and Poe being protective of her and their people, and nervously, as she looked between the three men, she hoped they'd understand. "I need to get him to the medical bay."
Poe and Finn shared a skeptical look between each other, mouthing words Rey couldn't quite catch as they had their faces tilted slightly away from her line of sight.
She wanted to roll her eyes but she supposed they got a free pass for being weary of Bens arrival, a free pass before she unwrapped a series of events that she needed them to empathize with.
"Okay ... let's go." Rey gently squeezed the back of Ben's neck, taking in a few long powerful strides before her to get Ben going again.
He heard Finn sigh and exchange a few loose words with Poe a few paces back, none of which he understood. It'd be better if they trailed behind, or didn't come at all, or waited until the moment he was passed out in a cot to drag him through the mud to Rey. Maybe they could take her to decompress, feed her something, make her take a shower and relax. Instead of railing her for beinging him back to their base.
He heard footsteps approach from behind and Finn was at Bens unguarded right side. He immediately wanted to jump into a defensive position but he was so exhausted and pained he would just accept whatever Finn was going to unleash on him. So he glanced at Finn with his half lidded eyes, a perfect angle to take a swift and powerful punch to his jaw or nose.
"You guys ... uh, need some help?" Finn questioned while licking his lips, looking everywhere but meeting Bens eyes like a child who was angry but still had to comply. "Walking pretty slow there."
"Ah Finn," Rey began with a smile, "thank you, that'd be great. Just take his side there."
Ben let out a wavering breath. Not exactly what he was expecting. Not a broken nose or unhinged jaw, but an ounce of kindness. Most likely not directed at him but for Rey, and Ben could respect that.
Finn bent down slightly and gently lifted on Ben, his left arm holding onto Ben's back. Then they started walking with a quicker pace, both Rey and Finn working hard on sharing his weight between them. They were inside now, and Rey led them through a maze of halle which started to all blend together in a blurry mess.
The last thing Ben remembered was slowly being lifted down into a medical cot, Rey instructing Finn how to place him properly like a squacky mother hen. As his eyes closed her insistent voice chattered on to the nurses and staff who appeared from the other ends of the wing, explaining just what had happened to him and what needed the first round of attention.
He wished he could smile at her adamant instructions. It reminded him of his mother, repeating instructions whenever her comm-link would ring throughout the day. In a way he didn't deserve his mother, and now as he slowly drifted away into unconsciousness, he knew for sure he did not deserve Rey.
The ending of the movie really peeved me so I'm just writing up what I would rather have done.Apologies for any spelling errors, mostly written on my phone and my fingers are useless at typing correctly.