Sup. I've never posted on this website before, I usually use AO3, but I decided since there seems to be an active zagr fanbase on , I'd share it here as well. Hope you enjoy!
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"Dib, hurry up! I am not going to miss out on the newest edition of the Vampire Piggy Hunter franchise because you decided to lollygag with your coat!"
"It's not my fault Dad forgot to buy me a new one!" Dib whined, struggling with his too-small jacket.
"It's your own fault for growing, anyway," she grumbled, tapping her foot impatiently.
Finally, Dib managed to wrench the thing on. Panting, he slid down to sit on the floor. Gaz narrowed her eyes and abruptly kicked at him.
"OW! Jeez, Gaz, gimme a break!"
"No." She scowled. "I'm apparently not old enough yet to go to the mall alone, so you have to hurry up. I'm not missing out all over again-do you remember what happened last time?"
"Yeah, yeah." Dib rolled his eyes and hopped to his feet. "What kind of a loser has to walk his sister to the mall on the first snow day of the winter?"
"What kind of loser would rather sit at home and write fanfiction about mothman?" she shot back, wrapping her favorite scarf tightly around her neck. "Quit dawdling and I might spare your life."
Muttering that it wasn't fanfiction, it was research notes, Dib followed Gaz out the door. Frosty air nipped at their noses the moment the kids' feet hit the concrete walkway outside. Wasting no time, Gaz began marching down the walkway, Dib slipping slightly in his hurry to catch up.
At first, they walked in silence. Lots of the neighborhood kids were out playing in their front yards or in the not-yet-plowed streets, constructing ugly, misshapen snowmen and forts. A small snowball fight was taking place a block down. Gaz shuddered in disgust at the squeals of delight; Dib smiled a bit.
"Don't you want to look at the snow?" he suggested as he followed her lead down the icy sidewalk.
"Why, to take in the natural beauty ?" she mocked.
He frowned. "No-to check for tracks! Look!"
Down Zim's driveway, there was a clear set of tracks leading to the road. Gaz groaned, already knowing what was going to happen, but deciding to try to stop it anyway,
"Who cares? He's probably just going to town for something, like us."
"Why would he go into town on a snow day?" Dib's eyes were slightly manic, a sure sign she was losing him. "No, no, he's definitely planning something. Something EVIL!"
"Oh, shut up." Gaz elbowed Dib in the arm, causing him to wince. Normally she wouldn't be quite this quick for violence, but she was genuinely worried about being last in line again, and her brother needed a little coaxing. Besides, trying to stop him when he got started was like stopping a runaway train-it took a superhuman feat.
Sadly, violence just wasn't enough this time. Dib, naturally, wouldn't shut up-he began speculating aloud about a plan relating to the snowy weather-maybe the lack of kids at school. . . Gaz almost felt sorry for Zim. The guy sucked at everything, be it world domination or just holding a normal conversation, and had to deal with her brother nearly as much as she did. If he could just be a little less obnoxious himself, she might not mind him.
"The only question is, where could he be?" Dib muttered, eyes darting around.
"There," Gaz said in a bored tone, pointing.
The school was clearly closed, locked up with no teachers or faculty there. The siblings were just coming up upon the building, but it was obvious even from a distance how deserted it was. However, one lone figure stood in front of the doors. . .
"What's Zim doing at school ?" Dib was incredulous. "Is he planning to plant something while nobody's there?"
"If that's what he's doing, why is he just standing there at the entrance?" Gaz snapped. Despite herself, she was a bit curious as to why the alien was shivering in the two-foot deep snow with nothing but his normal school attire.
"We have to get closer!" Dib announced, ducking down immediately and scampering closer. He took hold of the chain-link fence and squinted through it.
Gaz growled. "We don't have time for this. We have to get to the mall."
"Gaz!" Dib was scandalized. "You don't care about the fate of our school, and our whole world?"
"HEY, ZIM!" She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted. Dib started, eyes widening comically as he desperately flapped his arms, motioning her to stop.
Zim had already turned, and was now glaring at them.
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING THERE?" he yelled. " WHY IS EVERYONE SO LATE?"
Dib, apparently seeing no further point in hiding, leapt out from behind the fence. "It's a snow day, idiot! Nobody has to be here today!"
Zim blinked, turned to the doors, then back to the kids. "Ehh? We don't?"
Gaz strolled down the sidewalk, right past the shivering alien. "No, we don't," she said. "We're going to the mall to pick up a game. Goodbye."
"You cancel your education for some disgusting frozen sky-water?" Zim was incredulous. "Urth is ridiculous . None of that would have EVER occurred on Irk!"
"Well, that's the way it is here , ZIM!" Dib sprinted by his rival, catching up to his sister. "Did you really just stand in the snow for two hours? I thought your weak alien body was allergic to water."
"YOU- I've developed an immunity." Zim stuck his chin in the air and folded his arms. It might have been a bit impressive if a violent shudder hadn't possessed his whole body a moment later. Gaz wondered if he even had any winter clothes-this was his first snow on earth. She shook off the disgusting whiff of pity that had somehow snuck in and turned her attention back to the game.
"Right. Come on, Dib," she rolled her eyes and grabbed Dib's collar-he had started idling in the sidewalk, consumed with his glaring. He allowed himself to be pulled along, staring down his enemy until they had walked a few yards, after which he turned and followed Gaz.
The slight sound of footsteps pattered behind them.
Experimentally, Gaz stopped walking. Dib halted. So did the other footsteps.
"Gaz?" Her brother turned his head, confused. "What is it?"
She rolled her eyes and continued her trek. If Zim wanted to follow them to the mall, he was free to do just that. As long as he stayed out of Gaz's hair, she really couldn't care less what he did.
So when they reached the mall (which, thankfully, had just opened up due to the snowplows making their way through the main roads), Gaz marched inside without so much as a glance backwards. Dib had apparently decided to ignore their shadow, too, which was good, since he had stopped his incessant word vomit. Probably due to fear that his enemy would overhear. Just another reason to be grateful to Zim, even though he kind of caused the problem in the first place.
"You don't have to go to the store with me," she said scornfully when he began following her to the escalator. "You're just my escort. I have money."
"Dad wants me to keep an eye on you," Dib protested, but she could see his eyes trailing over to the knickknacks shop on the first floor.
"What Dad doesn't know won't hurt him," Gaz said harshly, shoving her brother towards the store. "I'll be back when I get my game, I won't be long."
When he kept hesitating, Gaz sighed deeply. "Look, Dib. I just want some breathing room."
He paused, then nodded understandingly. "Fine. I'll come get you in twenty minutes."
"I'll come to you!"
"We both know you'll get sucked into the demos and won't want to leave." He smiled crookedly. "Thirty minutes."
"Fine," she growled, turning on her heel and heading up the escalator.
The line wasn't too long, since the mall had only opened a few minutes prior-if it was any longer, Gaz might have been forced to take some sort of revenge on her brother for taking so much time. But it wasn't too bad-probably only a ten minute wait. She settled in the back of the line, pulling her video game device to pass the time.
So engrossed was Gaz in her game that she almost didn't notice when a figure quietly sidled up next to her. Almost. She glanced upwards for a second, and bit back a groan at Zim's face.
Unfortunately, he caught the change in expression, and his own face turned from curiosity to hostility. That was fine, she didn't care about his feelings-she just hoped he wouldn't open his-
"Oh, I'm SO sorry to disappoint you, Dib-sister!"
No such luck.
"What do you want, Zim?" She didn't look up from the game again. It wasn't like she needed to see his face to tell his emotion-his exaggerated body language and voice would illuminate that for her clearly.
"ME? I do not want ANYTHING from you! Zim is simply trying to pass time before skool tomorrow."
"There probably won't be skool tomorrow, either. It's supposed to snow even more tomorrow."
" MORE SNOW?" Zim was crestfallen. "Why is it so cold on your awful, hideous planet?"
"I know, right?" For once, they were of the same opinion. Gaz blew a strand of hair out of her face in a huff of air and allowed herself a moment of ranting. "Everybody expects you to go outside and play in it, but it's much more fun to just sit inside and play video games."
"It is nice to know there is another hyoo-man who has common sense on this filthy planet." Zim admitted. "Although I fail to see the allure of your 'video games.'"
"Then why are you in line for them?"
Zim froze. Coughed. Cleared his throat. "Like I told you-Zim is simply passing time!"
"Sure, okay." It was coming up on her turn in line, so she stashed the game back in her pack.
"Do many humans find these games interesting?" he asked as she fumbled for her wallet.
"Yeah, probably. Just look at the line."
A significant line had formed behind them. Gaz thanked her stars that she'd managed to beat the rush. Zim's eyes bugged at the spectacle.
The store employee blinked, bored. "Eighteen dollars," he said, holding out the game before Gaz even opened her mouth. No complaints from her-the less social interaction, the better, in her opinion.
She handed him a twenty and snatched the outstretched disc case from his hands, turning it over and eyeing it greedily. Zim watched this exchange with an air of interest.
"What now?" he asked when she zipped it carefully into her backpack.
"Now, we wait for my stupid brother to come get me. We have some time left, so we're going to use the demos."
"Demos?" He demanded, but she just grabbed his arm and pulled him to the back, gesturing at the video game device setups. Flopping down in her old, familiar purple beanbag chair, she patted the pasty green one beside it. "Sit."
"Why?" he demanded suspiciously.
"You can play anything here, as long as they have it set up in the console already," she explained, picking up a controller. "Here, you use this one."
"You. . . You want Zim to play with you?" the alien demanded, unsure what to make of this development.
"I want the satisfaction of creaming you," she said, smiling slightly and shaking the controller. "Come on, wuss."
"NO ONE 'CREAMS' ZIM!" he shot back, ruffled.
"Prove it."
Growling, Zim snatched it from her hands and plopped down beside her. In a few taps, Gaz had the newest version of her favorite fighting game set up.
"Ready?"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I'll take that as a yes," Gaz grinned, and pressed start.
Shockingly, Zim evaded her initial attacks effortlessly, and got a hit or two in first. Gaz was completely taken off-guard-wasn't he JUST interrogating her on video games? But she recovered in an instant, getting serious and backing off into a defensive position. Zim cackled.
"YOU DIDN'T EXPECT THAT, DID YOU?" he shouted. "This is for BABIES!"
"That's what I get for pulling my punches on the noob," Gaz rolled her eyes, and went into her regular mode-merciless violence. Within ten seconds, Zim's character's health was completely drained. A final kick was all it took to push him over the edge to KO. Zim threw his controller onto the ground in a yell of fury.
"Aargh! How did you-"
Gaz raised an eyebrow and allowed a tiny smile to creep across her face.
"I DEMAND A REMATCH, IMMEDIATELY ! SET IT UP AGAIN, GAZ-HUMAN."
"Ah, so now you know my name," she muttered, complying.
The second game was a bit closer, with Zim actually figuring out how to use a special move (genuinely impressive in its own right) before Gaz KO'd him. This round ended in Zim throwing his controller against the wall, but before she could even open her mouth, he was on his feet, dashing over to grab it.
"AGAIN." he growled.
"Don't break anything, or I'll have to pay for it." Gaz threatened, eyes on the screen while she chose a new stage. "And then I'll have to break into your stupid basement and. . ."
"Yes, yes," he replied impatiently, waving his claws in a circular motion. "Hurry up."
After a few more rounds, Zim had gotten good enough that Gaz wasn't holding back at all anymore. The rounds grew genuinely enjoyable, unlike the few times she'd gotten Dib to play with her and she kicked his butt without breaking a sweat. Gaz found herself wondering why she'd never attempted to play video games with the alien before. Why was he so good at them?
"HA!" Zim screeched when he finally managed to knock her out. "ZIM IS VICTORIOUS!"
"Yeah, sure. Let's see if you can keep that up," Gaz grinned, already setting up a new round.
"BUT OF COURSE! What would the challenge be if Zim showed mercy and allowed the little Gaz-human to flee now?"
"Who's fleeing, buddy?" While he was distracted, Gaz had started the game and landed a couple of sucker punches on the guy. He talked too much.
"AAAH!" In an instant, he'd shut up again, furiously pounding the keys.
Kick, jump, double punch, low jab, special attack-Gaz had him in a corner.
"Give up?" she teased.
"ZIM NEVER ADMITS DEFEAT!"
"Suit yourself." She blasted him to oblivion.
At his roar of savage, unrestrained fury, the girl burst out laughing, flopping backwards onto the beanbag chair. After a moment, he slowly sat down again.
"That was… enjoyable." He admitted, fiddling with the controller. "I had no idea humans used Irken training methods for entertainment purposes. Perhaps the human race will prove to be a more formidable opponent than I initially expected."
"You trained with video games?" Gaz was impressed despite herself. "Not bad. Your planet must have been kinda. . . awesome."
"It WAS awe-some! The games weren't quite so. . . elementary, but the concept was the same," Zim explained. "Often, our limbs were connected to the limbs of the virtual character on-screen, so it was a physical training as well!"
"Your species used a glorified VR for training? That's pretty cool, Zim."
He puffed his chest out with pride. "Yes, my species is far superior to yours."
"Yeah, you don't have to worry about the human race putting up a fight-at least not with these things." Gaz held up the controller. "The people who're good at these things definitely aren't gonna be trained to fight in the same way."
"Oh. That's . . . good." Zim blinked. "Turn it on again! I will destroy you again, and with EASE!"
"Don't tell me what to do," she muttered, but her fingers were already resetting a stage. "There's no way you can beat me again, though. That one was a fluke."
"WE SHALL SEE!"
He got a few good hits in right off the bat-Gaz cursed under her breath and backed up, trying to implement her longer-range moves to drain his health before she went in at full force. Zim cackled.
"I LIKE IT BETTER WHEN YOU'RE ATTACKING WITHOUT MERCY!" he shouted, blasting her with blue energy.
She gritted her teeth and leapt over it, diving forward to land a powerful downwards kick on her enemy. "That better?"
"MUCH BETTER!" He ducked and spun, throwing a few punches.
Gaz leaned forward and squinted further, allowing the game to take up all of her focus and energy. Despite the advantage Zim had, she could still beat him, if she could just avoid those mid-kicks-
The controller was wrenched out of her hands. Zim blasted another beam of energy and cackled when her character was KO'd, but his mockery caught in his throat when he turned his head to face her and saw what had caused her loss.
Dib was towering over the two, controller dangling from one hand and a furious expression on his face. His mouth was hanging open, as if he wanted to yell something but couldn't find the right words to demonstrate his utter disgust.
Gaz got over her surprise first. "You made me lose," she spat, reaching for the device.
Her brother held it up higher. "What are you doing, consorting with the enemy?" he demanded.
"Give me my controller."
"Give her the controller!" the alien repeated, folding his arms.
"You stay out of this!" Dib growled. "What are you doing, hanging out with my SISTER? I thought you had some semblance of an honor code!"
"ZIM needs no honor code!" he shouted back. "We were simply training!"
"TRAINING? Training for what?"
Gaz stood up, glowering and ready to attack, but Zim beat her to the punch-literally. He tackled her brother against the ground, and the two immediately began squabbling over the controller, punching and kicking in a comical cloud of dust.
"GIVE IT BACK!"
"NO!"
"GIVE IT BACK !"
" NO !"
"GIVE-IT-BACK!" As if to punctuate his screech, Zim sunk his teeth into Dib's arm.
"AAAGH!" The boy flailed, chucking the controller into the air. Gaz caught it. The two continued fighting, indifferent.
"STAY AWAY FROM HER!" Dib yelled, shoving Zim's head against the ground and pressing his knee against the alien's chest in a desperate gamble to keep the upper hand.
"ZIM WILL NEVER OBEY YOUR FILTHY COMMANDS!" Zim twisted his body and snagged Dib's upper arm, effectively turning them over. The boy hit the floor with a groan of pain. "ZIM DOES WHAT HE PLEASES!"
"Shut UP, both of you!" Gaz spat. "I'm going home."
"Yeah, come on, Gaz!" Dib yelled, popping up from the ground covered in scratches. "Let's go home!"
"Disgusting humans! I don't want to spend time with either of you ANYWAY!" Zim screeched back, scrambling against the back wall, chest heaving from exertion.
"Great! The feeling is mutual!" Dib shot back, grabbing Gaz's arm. She shook him off and stormed ahead. "Stay away from us!" he yelled over his shoulder, chasing after her undeterred.
Zim opened his mouth-and made no sound. He was obviously caught between a refusal to obey Dib and a statement of agreement, but Gaz couldn't care less. She yanked her backpack further up on her shoulders and walked out of the shop.
"He's following us, the monster." Dib muttered under his breath. Giz clenched her fist.
"You started that, you know."
"I did NOT. He started it by trying to mess with my little sister ."
"Watch it," she warned. "We both know I could kick your butt."
"I still have to protect you," he announced, raising his chin ever-so-slightly. "You and Dad are the most important things, and I'm the only one who can stop-"
"Stop him from doing what?" Gaz snapped, stopping and turning to face her brother entirely. "He wasn't trying to kill anybody or take over the world or something. We were just having fun. He's better at video games than you, anyway."
Dib's mouth flapped open comically, an utterly offended expression on his face. "How could you say that?"
"What? You don't like video games anyway."
"That's not the point!" he said accusingly. "Did you forget that Zim is evil?"
"No, I just couldn't care less."
Dib scoffed and looked away. Several steps behind them, there was a thump. Both of the kids halted and turned.
The alien was collapsed on the ground, shivering violently. His teeth chattered.
Gaz closed her eyes. She didn't care about Zim one bit, but seeing him in such pitiful discomfort was a bit unpleasant. He wasn't even shouting-clearly, his pride was too injured to muster a word. Dib snorted at the sight and began to walk again, but something was keeping her frozen in place. Her expression was as sour as ever, but underneath it, an internal struggle was being fought.
Her brother walked a few steps, then realized she wasn't beside him. "Gaz?"
Gaz sniffed. Her face gave way to a bitter scowl.
"What's wrong?" Dib asked, tilting his head.
"Man, this scarf sucks," she said before the words even registered in her head.
"What? You love that scarf."
Gaz fixed him with a glare. "Well, I've decided I hate it now. I'm just gonna get rid of it." She punctuated her statement with the violent ripping off of said scarf and, without looking, tossing it behind her.
Dib was rendered silent again as she caught up to him. He only offered her a swift, searching look. She merely frowned in response.
The silence was only broken by the snowy shuffling behind them, and the resuming of crunchy footsteps.
When they reached Zim's house, Dib halted. Gaz kept right on walking, but she could hear the conversation that ensued loud and clear.
"So, are you even going to say thank you?"
"For what? The Gaz-child didn't even want her scarf anymore. YOU should be grateful I picked the trash up off your disgusting ground! I'm doing my part in cleaning up this miserable planet!"
"Oh, cut the garbage! Give me the scarf, it's her favorite."
"ZIM WILL GIVE NOTHING!"
A smack.
" OW ! Gaz, see what a maniac this guy is? Give me the-"
A shriek. A scuffle. Gaz resisted the urge to cover her ears. A series of violent smacks.
"Fine, keep the stupid scarf! You're gonna need it for the coming winter. Maybe if you freeze to death, I'll be able to dissect your weird, alien body!"
"YOU ARE A DISGUSTING CREATURE!" Zim's shrill voice screeched. A door slammed.
"Yeah, that's right! Stay away! Stay away from my little sister, you jerk!"
Running footsteps crunching on the snow caught up to her just as she reached the door.
"I tried to get your scarf back for you."
"I heard," she replied, shaking the snow off her boots.
"Don't worry," Dib announced, "I can protect you from him."
"I know you will," she muttered under her breath.
Zim slammed the door shut behind him, and pushed his back up against it. Slowly, he stumbled over to the sofa. He felt the scarf, soft between his sharp fingers-softer than he had expected it to be. A whiff of lavender arose from the fabric, and he shivered slightly. What exactly did it smell like? Curiosity getting the better of the alien, he carefully brought it up to his face-
"HEYY, MASTER! WHERE'D YA GET THAT FUZZY PURPLE SNAKE?"
GIR popped up from behind the doorway. Instantly, Zim dropped the scarf like it was red hot.
"It isn't a snake, GIR!" he spat, throwing it to the ground. "It's an article of clothing used for warmth during winter months!"
"Ohhh, I understand." GIR skipped over and reached for it. "Can I hold hiiiim?"
"No!" Zim dove on top of the scarf, hastily wrapping it around his arm and holding it above the robot's reach. "I will NOT let you get it all filthy, GIR! Go do something else."
"Aww, but he's so cuuute!" GIR reached his arms up, doing grabby hand motions. "Can I name him?"
"I SAID IT'S NOT A SNAKE!" The alien launched himself over GIR and scrambled into the doorway, holding it up over his head completely now. "It's for-it's for RESEARCH. Apparently, these hyoo-mans care a lot about clothes! If I can figure out how to weave a mind-control fabric and force them all to wear it. . . Hmmmm. . ."
Absentmindedly, he strung the scarf around his neck again, and began fiddling with the ends in his digits.
"Do you gotta wear it to think?" GIR asked cheerfully, sitting down on the floor.
" No , GIR. It's just chilly in this house." Zim said coldly,
" I don't think it's chilly!"
Zim ignored him and looked down again at the fabric. The Gaz-human had certainly gifted this to him-he wasn't dumb enough to buy her ridiculous excuse of suddenly hating the thing, especially since it was so soft and comfortable.
If he ended up developing those mind-control clothes, he would have to give her the first. It would be a great honor to her, repaying tenfold the tiny, minuscule favor she had done him.
Warmed by the thought, Zim sat back down on the couch. A slow smile crept across his face. Maybe he would find time in between skool and his plotting to go to the mall store again-he could always use more training, right?