This story was translated from the Spanish story "Mírame", written by myself.
Since English is not my first language, and this is my first fanfic in English, I hope you might tolerate those mistakes I could have made. Thank you.
Look at me
Chapter 4
While I was trying to be successful at getting away from Ken, Mamoru sent me some messages that brightened my day. As he promised, Mamoru kept in touch. Those greeting short messages made me smile.
Kazuki kept calling to know how everything was going on. I lied, saying it was easy to be kept away from Ken. I guess he knew I was lying, since he just used to say "ah" and then started to tell me about his day, trying to change the subject and cheer me up (he always has funny stories to tell).
Naoko also called me, especially to support my decision and to insult Ken. I know she would have not be able to insult him face to face, since he is her friend too. But there are things just girl friends can understand.
New Saturday and I have to study. At least, studying so hard made me think less about how would be Ken and if he would miss me a little bit. I took a break and went to get the mail out of my mailbox. While I was going back to my apartment I checked what I had received, and noticed an envelope with no sender name. My heart gave a jump when I read "To Paola" in a well-known handwriting.
Once in my apartment, I opened the packet. I did not know whether crying, laughing or getting upset. The envelope contained a free entrance ticket for the game Nagoya Grampus would play that day. There was not a note, a letter, a piece of napkin written on it, or anything. There was nothing but that damned ticket. I took a deep breath and clench my fists. I was ready to break the ticket in two, when I noticed what it was printed on it.
-Yokohama Marinos? –I read surprised- They play against Yokohama Marinos?
Then, I remembered the message Mamoru sent me the day before. A message I could not understand completely. He sent an "are you a fan of Nagoya? Because we are gonna win". I thought it was a casual joke, and answer him as it was. Hehe, Mamoru thinks I am a big soccer fan, so I should know everything about the J-league matches program. But, actually, I do not care about them at all.
-So, that's why he told me that –I inferred, feeling silly
I looked at the ticket once again. The courage I felt when I received it vanished. Well, if the idiot Ken had brought the ticket to my apartment and left it in my mailbox –because that was obvious- I was not going to waste it. So, as an act of revenge –childish, but a revenge at last- I went to the game. I settled in the indicated chair, spent my time cheering up the Yokohama Marinos team, and shouting vulgarities to Nagoya players, especially to player number 17 –that is Ken's number, by the way-.
When the game finished –unfortunately Yokohama Marinos lost by 2 to 1- I went to the players exit area. Once there, since the security officers already know me, I could enter easily. Sometimes I used to go to the Nagoya matches and wait for Ken at the end of the game –that did not mean I went to see the match, I arrived just at the end of it, hehe-, so we used to go to eat something together.
I suppose some behaviors become habits. Because, inadvertently, I was there waiting for him like an idiot. However, the sudden arrival of Aiko brought me back to reality. She was at a little distance from me, chatting with some men who might be Grampus' executives.
Aiko was definitely more sociable than me. I was always waiting for "my friend", by myself, avoiding other people.
I looked at that woman surreptitiously, trying to understand why Ken accepted to date her. I cannot say she is not a beautiful woman: she is tall, slender and, unlike most of Japanese traditional women –who apparently worship long hair-, has short hair. He rightly likes her. Besides, she was good at engaging conversation with anyone, and is naturally friendly –something I am not-. Yep, because all of that Ken liked Aiko.
I looked away. I had had enough of so much masochism. Then, I observed the rival team players were a few meters away from me, going to their bus. I remembered Mamoru has to be there, so I went closer, without noticing that Ken was already coming out.
Some reporters approached Mamoru to interview him. I stayed a few steps away from them thinking about how much my friend had grown, and how much he had improved his skills, since he was considered one of the best players in his team. He smiled when he saw me. Once his interview finished, he came near me.
-As a fan, did you come to throw Nagoya's victory in my face? –he asked, in a mocking tone
-I don't think so. I was cheering your team up the whole game. A fan of Nagoya wouldn't do that
-Really?
-I wouldn't lie to you. I even bought a flag of Yokohama Marinos. Look –I said, showing a little flag with Yokohama's colors and emblem
-Hehe, thanks –Mamoru replied, smiling slightly
-Would you give me an autograph on my flag? –I asked, smiling
-Do you really want my autograph?
-Of course. Maybe one day it will worth a lot –I joked, and he beamed amused
-Do you have a pen? –Mamoru asked me, taking my flag
-I don't, do you?
-I don't use to have pens or markers with me when I go to a game –he answered, a little sarcastically
-Neither I when I go to a soccer stadium
-Hehe. What do you think if I give you an autograph later?
-Later?
-Yep. In about one hour, the coach will officially leave us free for today. Therefore, if you want, we can go and have a dinner
-Aren't you going back to Yokohama?
-Not today
-Then I agree. So, I will take something to get your autograph
-Haha, okay
-Tel me, where do you want to go? I will see you there
-Alright. I will look for a place around here. But, if you don't like it, you may suggest a better place
-Sounds good
-See you later
-See you –I said, shaking a hand and smiling excited. It is always good to meet a friend who you don't see usually, with whom you feel good
I turned to leave that place, thinking whether what I was wearing was okay to go to dinner or it would be better to go home and change my clothes. I didn't go so far away, when I ran into Ken, who was holding hands with Aiko. Both of them were looking at me, and I felt suddenly awkward.
-Ah, hi –I said briefly. After all, it didn't make sense pretending not seeing them and going on by
-What were you doing? –Ken asked, staring at me
-Greeting Mamoru –I answered simply- By the way, has Napoleon been eating well? –I was so uneasy that I didn't know what to say, and, all of a sudden, I remembered the cat
-Yes, he has. Since you have not been able to go, I had to change his meals schedule –Ken said. I could even swear he said that with some sarcasm, but I preferred to ignore him- Having tuna mixed with cat food has worked
-That's great –I muttered, restarting the march, trying to not show my disappointment
Well, Napoleon missed me until Ken gave him tuna. It's sad but, after all, he is his cat.
-So, where are we going today? –Ken asked, following me, without letting go Aiko's hand. I stopped and turned surprised to see him
-Wait… What?
-Why do you ask? We are going to dinner –he answered, as if it was a fact
-"We"? –I repeated, looking at Aiko, who seemed confused too
-Yes. Every time you come to the game we are used to going to eat something, aren't we?
-Ehm…
I hesitated. I was excited because he reminded that detail, but then I realized that we were not just the two of us now. There was someone else there, and she was more important to him than I was. My heart cringed, but there was no excuse to ignore that fact. I had to stop thinking about what we used to do in the past, because that had been left behind.
-I am not going –I said, moving forward. He raised his eyebrows
-Why not? –he started to follow me
-Because…she is your girlfriend, not me –I clarified, trying to not look at him. My words did hurt- And the right thing for you is going only with her
-But you're my friend. What's the big deal?
He is such a damned heartless man.
-Ehm…I think she is right, Ken-kun –Aiko said, uneasy- We just started to date. It would be okay to share more time just the two of us
-But… -he tried to insist, surely not understanding the point yet
-Besides, I already have plans –I admitted, as calmly as I could
-Do you have plans? At this time in the night? –Ken did not believe me
-Yes, I do. So I am leaving. Have a good night. Bye –I said, speeding up, not wanting to give more explanations
Furthermore, seeing Ken holding hands with Aiko did hurt and it was annoying, because I never had the chance to do that.
Later, trying to forget that unpleasant moment, I met Mamoru near the place he had chosen to go to dinner. A change from sportswear to informal clothes transforms a guy, definitely. I stuttered when greeting, because I thought he looked very handsome, and my face turned red –I hope he did not notice it-.
We entered the restaurant. The maître was verifying if there was a table available –all of the tables were occupied, since it was Saturday night-, when I felt like my heart falling to my feet: Ken appeared with Aiko. Really? Why did I have to meet them again?
-Give me a moment, please –the maître asked, going to the lounge then
I wanted to die. Could he not do it faster?
-So, this is what you meant with "having plans" –Ken told me, and I grimaced
Even when it didn't make sense, I felt guilty. However, at the same time, I was angry because his words rang as a claim.
-Hi Wakashimazu –Mamoru greeted him with such a forced kindness that resulted evident
Since a long time ago they don't get along well, and I knew it. To Mamoru, Ken was just an arrogant cocky. On the other hand, I guess, Ken had his own reasons to not having interest of being friends with Mamoru.
-Hi –Ken replied, indifferently
-Hi –Aiko smiled. Her excessive sociability started to annoy me, seriously
-I didn't know you were here. When you said about going to dinner as we used to do, I thought you would go to a Mc Donald's or so –I commented sarcastically
-Aiko-san disagreed –he alleged, while she smiled
Does she not have anything better to do than smiling all the fucking time?
-That kind of food is not appropriate for a soccer player –she said, as if she really knew about it
Well, I guess she should know about the topic since she is a nutritionist.
-From time to time, eating something like that is not bad either –Mamoru joined in the conversation. This time I was the one who smiled in an exaggerated fashion
-That's right! Besides, if you exercise you may burn those extra calories –I stated. Ken had a stern look on his face
-I should think about it before. Although, we can still do it –Mamoru joked
-Okay. Then let's escape before the maître returns –I replied, going with the flow. Then, Mamoru and I laughed at our funny ideas
However, our jokes were not seemingly hilarious to our companions. Aiko was smiling with discomfort, and Ken was looking at us severely, as if trying to decipher what was funny.
-I apologize for my delay. Please, come with me –the maître bowed elegantly
-It can't be helped. It's too late to escape –Mamoru whispered to me, and I laughed quietly
-Well, have a good night –I said to the other ones, using a neutral tone of voice
I did not want to imagine the following plans Ken and Aiko had, but I did wish Napoleon to scratch a hand of her at least if she tried to approach him. Wishing her being scratched in the face would be very cruel and childish on my side, but it would have been funny.
-Good bye –Mamoru said, and then we follow the maître
I did not turn. I did not want to turn and see how Ken was leaving with Aiko. What is for sure, Ken did not care that I preferred to be with Mamoru.
Maybe, he even thought that it was a coincidence that Mamoru and I met there. That I was going to dinner and, coincidentally, Mamoru was there too. Don't ask me.
While being with Mamoru I tried not to think of Ken, and I did. Even though, Mamoru himself reminded him.
-Were you and Wakashimazu dating? –he suddenly asked
-Hehe. What? Of course not –I answered, feeling uneasy
Even when I wanted to date Ken, that doesn't mean we did.
-Why do you ask?
-I don't know. I thought you did
-How could you think that?
-Because it seemed you met an ex-boyfriend just now
-Hahaha. What the hell? An ex-boyfriend? Ken is just my friend –I clarified. My own words did hurt
-But did you like him? –he looked at me with curiosity
My smile suddenly disappeared. I didn't want to talk about Ken. I was having a great time with Mamoru. So, why did he have to screw it up?
-I'd be lying if I said I didn't, but saying "I did" doesn't matter much anymore, right? –I forced a smile
I was not going to cry and tell him about my sorrows, if I just had the chance to meet him. Besides, what Mamoru thought about Ken would get worse if I give my current opinion about him.
-Wow, that's a good answer –he said, with a little smile
-I am very smart –I joked arrogantly
-Really smart. Nevertheless, you are also fun, pretty, interesting… -he kept talking
I didn't know if he was kidding. I preferred to believe he was.
-Moreover, I have money –I added, still joking- It doesn't matter if the money belongs to my family
-That's true! You have a good family too
-My family is not good at all, but whatever, hahaha
We kept chatting and laughing for quite a while. Luckily (for me), neither of us mentioned Ken again.
Once we finished dinner, he accompanied me home. I was going to ask him in, but it would have been inappropriate. After all, he is a guy, I live by myself, and I did want to avoid misunderstandings. Although, thinking about that didn't make sense, since sometimes Ken used to stay and sleep on the sofa.
But, you know, Ken is kind of special when dealing with me. He would never be able to hurt a hair of my head, even if I appear naked in front of him. I already said that.
Mamoru is also my friend, but I do not see him regularly. Besides, I started to think he was attractive. So, I discarded the idea of being alone with him.
-Thanks for coming with me –I said, once we were in front of my building
-Thank you for such a beautiful night. At least I am not mad at losing the game anymore –he answered, with a sincere smile
-Better times will come –I joked, patting one of his shoulders
-I hope so or we will become a laughingstock in the J-league
-No worries. Other teams are worse –I tried to comfort him
-Hahaha. Thank you, I guess…
-Hehe. Have a safe trip
-Sleep tight
He smiled and I stared at him like a fool. However, I forced myself to react. After all, that guy is Mamoru, my friend. He is not any guy who looks attractive to me, a guy for whom I drop the drool shamelessly (leaving aside I already had fallen in love with someone else).
Mamoru left and I entered the building. On my way home, I thought I was lucky for having Mamoru when I met Aiko and Ken that night. Otherwise, it would have been very painful and I would have seemed pathetic going home by myself, while thinking what they would be doing.
Yep, I am definitely a masochist.
Paola Wakabayashi, Naoko Hoshigawa, Aiko Fujimiya and Napoleon (the cat) are OC characters created by Tsuki_W.
All the Captain Tsubasa's characters belong to Yoichi Takahashi and Shueisha.
Thank you for reading!