Work has been slow but that might be because I'm distracted by my thoughts. He hasn't left my mind since last night and I've been smiling nonstop. I think everyone's starting to notice but it wouldn't be a first when I was working at GEH. Christian's comments caught me off-guard and I still can't believe what he proclaimed to me.
"I love you too", he remarks and now I'm the one that's left speechless.
"What?"
"I know I shouldn't be saying it but, I've had this unfamiliar emotion gnawing at me inside but I didn't realize it until after you were gone. I want to make this work, Anastasia. And I still want this with you."
Yeah, me too.
As I'm going over some paperwork for an upcoming meeting, Jack reappears from his office with some files stacked in his arms.
"Ana, could you make some copies for me? I'm running a little late", he asks.
"Yeah, sure Jack", I answer and quickly stand to take the files.
"By the way, we're all going to Lori's for some drinks after work. You wanna come along?"
"Um, who's Lori?"
"Oh, it's a bar around the corner. Fridays are kind of a ritual. You should come. Take a chance to socialize a little."
"Oh, um…", I stutter just before hearing my phone ping from my desk.
"Take it. I'll come check on you when I'm done", Jack states before heading off. I set the papers down and answer my phone; it's Christian.
"Hi."
"Miss Steele, how's work going for you?"
"Feeling jealous, Mr. Grey?", I joke.
"Always, Miss Steele. Are you almost done?"
"Why?"
"I was wondering if we could have dinner tonight. I wanted to talk about us."
"Us?"
"If you'd be willing to take me up on my offer."
"Oh, um. Okay. I'll be done in about an hour but I think my boss wants me to go out for drinks."
"Will you be alone?"
"No, my co-workers will be there too."
"Would you like me to escort you? I can be there when you get off work."
"I would love that; thank you."
"Good. Where is it?"
"Lori's."
"I'll see you then. Laters, baby", he replies and I giggle in response before hanging up. I set my phone down, pick up the papers and head for the copy room, still grinning as I do.
I'm standing by the curb waiting for Christian as a cold breeze whips across my skin. Shit, it's cold today.
Maybe Christian can help with that, my inner goddess remarks. I do my best to ignore her and but still giggle at the thought.
As I'm hugging my jacket closer to my body, I have the sudden feeling like I'm being watched. I check my surroundings but see nothing. It feels uneasy but I can't make out why. Before I can ponder it further, Christian pulls up and my thoughts are put on hold. Taylor steps out and opens Christian's door before regarding me with a warm smile.
"Ana", he remarks.
"Hi, Taylor", I answer. Christian climbs out, whispers something to Taylor and heads towards my direction.
"Good evening, Miss Steele. Are you ready to go?"
"Always, Mr. Grey", I reply sweetly. He offers his hand for mine and I accept. We head towards Lori's and I feel more at peace.
Lori's is packed by the time we arrive but I'm able to find Jack over by the bar. He waves over to me and me and Christian make our way.
"Glad you could make it Ana."
"Hi, Jack. Um, this is Christian, my, um…" Shit. How do I explain this?
"I'm the boyfriend", Christian interjects.
"I'm the boss", Jack responds as he shakes hands with Christian. "What'll you have, Chris?" Jesus, Jack.
"I can handle it, Jack. Thanks though."
"Sure thing. What do you do for a living, Christian?"
"I'm the CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. specializing in agriculture projects. My goal is to eradicate hunger and provide better living stabilities for people around the world."
"That sounds pretty impressive. Has that always been a passion of yours?"
"More or less. I have deep knowledge on the subject so it's a very personal issue for me."
"Understood. It's one of the things that makes the job worthwhile."
"I agree."
Jack glances at me with a warm smile and I shyly smile in return. Christian notices my expression and hugs me tighter to his side.
"Oh, excuse me, I have to take this", Jack affirms and goes to answer a call. Once he's out of earshot, Christian turns towards me.
"Good-looking guy. Must be a better boss than me."
"Seriously, Christian? He's nothing like you so don't play the jealousy card, okay?"
"Jealousy card?", he asks with amusement.
"You know what I mean."
"I'm not jealous, Miss Steele. I'm just concerned for you."
"Why?"
"You don't know?"
"Know what?"
"Jack Hyde has never had an assistant last for more than three weeks."
"You don't think I'm gonna last?"
"That's not it, but I can tell he wants what's mine."
"Yours? I'm not your submissive, Christian and we both know that I never signed the contract. You can't control everything I say or do."
"It's not about that. I just wanna make sure he doesn't go out of line."
"Why would you care?" As I say this, he avoids my gaze. Shit.
"You bought SIP?" He says nothing and orders a beer.
"Christian?"
"It was before you started working there."
"How does that make it different?"
"I've always wanted to move into publishing and SIP was the best fit."
"But you're gonna be my boss."
"Technically I'll be your boss's boss's boss."
"And I'm gonna be sleeping with my boss's boss's boss."
"But right now, you're arguing with him."
"Yeah, cause he's being an ass." As I say this, he looks at me with amusement.
"An ass? Really?"
"What, nobody's called you that before?"
"Maybe behind my back."
"I highly doubt that."
"Ana…"
"You can't argue with me anymore. I'm still technically at work."
"Hmm. Might have to do something about that", he remarks with that look in his eyes. Oh.
Before I can answer, Jack returns and I try to act discreet.
After an hour or so, Jack drives off in his convertible and me and Christian are standing on the curb.
"Can I still take you up on dinner?", Christian asks me.
"Can we go home instead? I can make us something."
"I like the sound of that."
"That's not what I meant", I say as I roll my eyes.
"Did you just roll your eyes at me, Miss Steele?"
"Yes I did. But there's nothing you can do about it."
"Challenging woman."
"Challenging man."
As I look past Christian's shoulder, I suddenly notice a woman by the road but once she catches my gaze, she quickly turns away. Christian notices my expression and looks her way as well.
"What is it?"
"Um, nothing. I just thought I saw someone."
"Come. I wanna talk about our relationship", he affirms and we head off. Same as always, my subconscious remarks and I roll my eyes in response.
Back at my apartment, Christian helps me with some groceries before heading inside. We decided on stir fry since it's quick and easy and honestly, that's what I prefer. Christian wants to talk, for once, and I'm more than anxious to start discussing what he wants. Does he still want me as a submissive? Would he be back if he didn't?
"Here. You can chop the peppers. I'll do the rest", I remark but Christian looks slightly confused by my comment.
"Is something wrong?", I ask. Has he never seen a pepper before?
"Not at all, Miss Steele", he replies and takes the peppers as he looks for a cutting board and knife.
A few minutes go by but what amazes me the most is Christian's inability to cut something. His slices are uneven and takes longer than how I would do it, and I can't help but wonder if this is his first time doing this. Has he never cooked before?
"You need a hand with that?", I finally ask after a while.
"I'll manage", he answers.
"I can see that."
"Maybe this time we can talk about us."
"Always to the point, Mr. Grey."
"Likewise, Miss Steele."
"What do you want to talk about?" He takes a deep breath before answering. Is he nervous?
"Would you be willing to go off the contract and have a real relationship?" Whoa. Not what I was expecting to hear.
"You don't want me to sign the contract anymore?"
"I figured it wouldn't be worth it after what happened the last time."
"Christian, I'm not mad at you for that. I was more upset at how I felt afterwards than what actually happened between us. I just felt incompatible with you and needed some time to think about it. It was just like when I went to Georgia for a while."
"Were you expecting it at all?"
"Honestly, no I wasn't. I just kept telling myself that you wouldn't hurt me", I confess. Christian stops cutting and lets out a heavy sigh.
"What is it?"
"I kept telling myself that I would never go that far. But when you asked, I just couldn't say no."
"Did you ever think it would come to this?"
"I was hoping it wouldn't. It was just like in New York. I didn't want to mislead you."
"It's not that, Christian. I just didn't feel as if I was enough for you. You were taking me down a path I couldn't follow and after what happened, I finally realized that it could never work like we'd hoped."
"Do you regret ever meeting me at all?" I stand gaping at his words and can't believe what I just heard. I turn off the stove and turn him to face me, careful not to touch his forbidden areas.
"I never regretted meeting you, Christian. Even after what happened. It wasn't past tense when I said I loved you and even now I still feel the same. I love you, Christian. And nothing you do could make me change my mind." He smiles his shy, boyish smile but looks pleased with my answer. Deep down in my heart, I know what I said is true. Nothing could ever change the way I've felt ever since we met. And even now, I still feel the way I did when I saw him for the first time. I love this man. And I always will.
"I love you, too", he says after a while and I smile in response. I go to touch his face but he tenses before I can. I move my hand to his forearms instead and squeeze gently.
"I'm gonna need a roadmap."
"I know."
"You know I'm not gonna hurt you, right?"
"It's not that, Anastasia. I just can't bear to be touched."
"Because of what happened to you?"
"Yes", he confesses and my heart tugs at his words. Oh, Fifty…
Before I can stop myself, I lean up and kiss him deeply as he groans in return. His tongue glides past my lips and finds my own as he deepens the kiss. I quietly moan at his touch and just don't want him to pull away. Once he does I'm longing for more.
"Take me", I whisper.
"Ana…"
"Please. I've gone too long without you in my life."
"Anastasia, we're not together yet. Don't you want to take things slow?" I look up at him and slowly slide my hand around his neck.
"I want you", I whisper and deep down, I mean it. I've wanted him when we met and I still want him now.
"Just tell me when to stop, okay? We'll only go as far as you want", he remarks. I can tell he feels it too.
"Okay", I smile sweetly and soon, Christian lifts me up and carries me to my room. I'm so glad I don't have to work tomorrow. All I want is him.