To everyone's surprise, including my own, I made it through the remainder of that school year without skipping. Not once. Meghan and I made a pact that no matter how terrible things were for either of us, we would rally our inner strength and make it to our daily meet ups. They turned into more of a support group – for just the two of us. Occasionally, Tommy or Seth, even Jason once, would wander in. Personally, I think they were just curious to see if the rumors they heard about her stepfather were true or not as I didn't break the friendship code by divulging anything I found out. Our conversations were highly personal and sometimes triggering. It was why when I managed to get my lunch changed to her period we didn't actually spend it in the cafeteria but rather an unused classroom that had been turned into storage. We could rage and cry all we wanted without worry of gawkers. She cried. I raged. Usually.
We survived the school year by leaning on each other, but summer would bring a whole new challenge. The last day of school was essentially a free-for-all. We were to attend our classes as usual, but exams and lessons were long finished so the time was spent goofing off however we pleased.
Meghan and I chose to hole up in our place. I was used to her tears by now. They still left me uncomfortable, wishing I could stop them, but I learned not to cringe and pretend I didn't notice. Besides, she finally grew comfortable enough accept my touch. I could rub her back, fold her into my chest, even rake my fingers through her hair without her shying away. At least I could try to help ease her pain. That day, nothing I did seemed to help.
I stood in front of her as she sat perched on a desk, my arms folded around her as she sobbed into my chest. Her legs shifted apart to let me between them to rest my chin on her crown. I decided to just let her get it out. She was told that she wasn't going to pass the year. Despite all of the work we did together to get her caught up, no dice. She was going to get held back – repeat the year. The unsettling thing about it was, I was moving up. Surprised the hell out of me, too. In hindsight, I sincerely believed it was because the school just wanted to be rid of me. It didn't seem fair, but they knew I had no intention of ever taking their threats seriously. So they just passed me along until my time was up. They cared about Meghan more than me; though she didn't see it that way. They were trapping her to her stepfather for another year. She'd failed. Literally, failed, despite getting passing grades on the assignments she managed to turn in. I'm not sure I ever saw her so broken before. Even the times she practically dragged herself to school after a sleepless night holding a baseball bat curled to her chest.
Her painful sobs made my own eyes sting and I blinked quickly to abate any lurking tears. I didn't cry. But I sometimes found it difficult to bear Meghan crying, especially like this. I understood her frustration and fear with the situation.
"What about summer school?" I had asked when she broke the news.
She shook her head solemnly. "I won't be able to pull that off. He'd think I was lying – sneaking off to be with you, or someone else."
"They send home paperwork, don't they? There would be legal proof you were telling the truth."
"It wouldn't matter. Legal documents could be forged. He does it all the time. Besides, he's so jealous and paranoid, he thinks anything my mom or I do is to pull one over on him. He has control over everything."
Sounded familiar.
"But-" I paused, racking my brain for something else to offer.
"It's okay, Ty." She said, sensing my hesitation. "Maybe we'll have lunch together again." The smile she offered was weak.
"We still have the summer." I hesitated to mention it, wondering how we'd be able to see each other without school as a viable cover story. At least if Meghan was forced into summer school, I could show up to that. A joke, some would think, but I would have done it for her.
"We can't Ty…" Her voice was so soft I almost didn't catch what she said, but her fallen gaze and the slight shake of her head said it the same.
I stepped up to her, my chest tightening with a fierce determination. "We can. I won't allow an entire summer to go by without knowing how you are doing. That you're still in one piece and breathing." The mere thought of what could happen to her in those three months scared me more than I would ever dare to admit. Scared me as much as the time my mom went to work and didn't come home for two whole days. I was left alone at the motel, not knowing if Lily was laying in a gutter somewhere or sprawled on a dirty mattress with a needle in her arm. It made me so physically sick with worry the room reeked of vomit by the time she did return and I couldn't stop shaking beneath the quilt from utter weakness and exhaustion.
"I told you, Ty. He can't-"
"I don't care about him." I cut her off sharply, making her wince and instantly regret my tone. I sighed and dialed it back a notch. "I don't care about him," I repeated in a calmer voice, slowly reaching out to lift her chin, urging her to look at me. "I care about you."
The tears began to surface then, her eyes shimmering with the threat of their release. "Then you need to leave me alone." She blinked, releasing the first of what would become many. It curved over her cheek and traced the outline of my knuckles before dropping.
My gaze found itself trapped within hers, watching the light reflect off her tears. She held mine just as steady, making my heart begin to race. My stomach twisted in a weird way like the time I lost my footing on the catwalk of the water tower and almost toppled off the edge. My gut made the same jolt I felt then in a more prolonged way.
"I can't." I spoke finally. My voice sounded distant even to my ears.
"Why not?" Meghan's response was just as delayed.
It took me another prolonged moment to think of a reason, but my mind was sluggish and I couldn't seem to form a cohesive thought. "I just can't."
It was then that I blacked out. When I came to, Meghan's hand was pushing off my chest, the other sliding over her lips to create a barrier between us. And she burst into tears.
I stood there for a stupid moment trying to make sense of what happened. My lips tingled and were still warm from having made contact with hers. I don't recall doing it and despite the reaction it caused, I couldn't say I regretted it. My racing heart slowed to a heavy thump as a stillness settled over me in spite of the hysterical girl before me. Words continued to fail me. I wouldn't apologize for my actions; though perhaps I should have considered more carefully how they could have triggered Meghan's negative associations with her stepfather's "clients."
Hesitantly, I reached out to her, testing the waters by brushing my fingers through her hair. She didn't recoil. In fact, she leaned into the touch, my palm cupping her cheek. I stilled, cradling her face, damming her waterfall tears that eventually carved a path over the back of my hand. She reached up to place her hand over mine, curling her fingers so tight her nails began to dig into my flesh. Still, I didn't move. As broken as the moment was, it was still beautiful. But it wasn't just the moment. It was Meghan. Even through the tears. I was seeing it then. Through eyes beholding a tender new feeling born from the complexity of human emotion whittled down through one simple touch.
With Meghan's hand holding mine captive, I used the other to brush my thumb below her eye. It didn't help in drying her tears as more followed, but did cause her to look at me. The expression I found resting there sent my gut jolting again.
This time I didn't black out.
I held her face between my hands as our lips connected. Her fingers flexed against my chest but no other force was applied to push me away. Her lips were salty from her tears. It was a wet, sloppy kiss. But it was warm and sweet, tender like Meghan.
When I felt her tremble is when I finally let go. I searched her eyes that were stuffed with so much emotion I didn't know which one would finally win out. I hoped it wasn't fear and regret; though that would inevitably find its place to roost before long. Just, please not now.
"Why did you do that?" Meghan whispered, her voice trembling.
"I couldn't suffer through a whole summer wanting to and not knowing if I'd ever get the chance," was my truthful answer, though perhaps not precisely the thought I needed to remind her of as she broke into a fresh round of tears.
"You shouldn't have," she choked out, bowing her head to my chest. My arms wrapped around her as she shifted her legs apart to let me between them and drew me closer to allow my chin to rest on her crown. Her arms slipped around my waist and I felt her grip tighten as she clasped her hands behind my back.
She was right: I shouldn't have.
A/N: I tried the Comic Sans writing hack… and either I just had a lot of pent up muse or it works. This 1,600 word chapter was written in one sitting.