So after Thursday's episode, I just had to write this one-shot. Olivia Barba of course. It totally gave me hope. So here it is.
The primaries were over. Rafael Barba was coming home and just as promised he and Olivia were going to dinner. Olivia promised to meet him at 5:30 at Forloni's for old times sake, she and the rest of the crew hadn't been in there since he had left. Something about it being their place alongside Barba. She walked the familiar route remembering the conversation they had a few months prior and all the other conversations in between. Since then nothing has changed it felt like time was moving even faster and she felt like her days were numbered. She was getting older turning 50 hadn't been a big deal but right before turning 52 all these people around her were no more. She felt like her life was wasting away and any day it would be her turn to die, with Noah all alone and she didn't want to live alone anymore.
She remembered so long ago, her first year at SVU when Brian had promised she would be married sooner rather than later, and she couldn't help but cringe. It felt like that was a lifetime ago, but at the same time, the memory came back as if it was just yesterday. She wished he was right but something in the back of her mind then knew it wasn't true. Her mindset back then had been so different. She wasn't ready for a relationship, she wasn't sure if she was ready now, but she had always had a special place in her heart for Rafael. She hated that he was yet another coworker, although not anymore. She hated she couldn't just pick up a man at a bar fall in love and call it day. No, she had to have these complicated romances that lead to heartache, hurt. She was done with that. She was hoping more than anything that this dinner would go her way. She wasn't ready to say goodbye to him once again.
Olivia walked into the bar seeing Rafael, clean-shaven, sitting at the bar, she was running a little behind as usual but he smiled brightly as she walked through the door.
"Oliva Benson, a sight for sore eyes," Rafael stated.
He wrapped his arms around her and she pulled him tight. Rafeal was happy to see she was safe, she looked good, and she was in his arms.
"God I've missed you Rafa," Olivia claimed.
He looked in her eyes and could see the hurt which he knew he had caused.
"I'm so sorry I left you Liv," Rafael stated quickly.
"Don't be you did what you had to, you kept in touch and frankly that's more than most. I'm just happy to be here." Olivia claimed.
"Let's get us a table," Rafael claimed.
Olivia agreed, and they were quickly seated, at a small table for 2.
The two of them had talked several times to one another over the past 2 years but seeing each other, brought back the spark that Olivia always remembered having for Rafael. The way his eyes shined. His passion for whatever it was he was doing. He was always so endearing and she couldn't help but think about kissing him.
Their meals came out and Olivia and Rafael ate in relative silence until they were asked if they wanted anything else. Olivia declined but Rafael insisted on eating cheesecake something he said was never the same anywhere else. Olivia smiled as he ate. Raphael sighed when he put the first bite in his mouth.
"Here Liv, have a bite." Rafael insisted, holding his fork up to her face.
"Wow, Rafael Barba offering his food, that's new." Olivia laughed.
Rafael knew how protective he was of his food. He wasn't sure if it was a holdover due to the lack of food when he was a child, or not. He was never starving by any means but there were several days when rice with a little meat or vegetables for days on end was normal.
He smiled back as she took a bite. Her eyes lit up.
"You sure you don't want a piece for yourself?" Rafael asked.
"No, honestly I'm stuffed. I forgot how good the cheesecake was here though." Olivia claimed.
She didn't want this evening to end, she forgot how much she missed him around.
"How long are you here?" Olivia asks.
"A while until August, then after the general election, I'll be back I'm coming back home," Rafael confirmed.
"That's great!" Olivia smiled brightly.
"Well, it's always good to have you in my corner." Rafael smiled.
"I've always been in your corner Rafael," Olivia claims.
"Oh you weren't too fond of me after the Philips case or the Littleton case, or the Jonas case or..."
Olivia cut him off.
"Listen we didn't agree with those and countless other issues but it didn't mean I didn't respect you or didn't care," Olivia said honestly.
Rafael smiled.
"I know Liv. I do." Rafael confirmed.
The check came.
Olivia sighed.
"Hey, is Noah still up?" Rafael asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure he is," Olivia claimed
looking at her watch it was 8:00 pm.
It would be close but she wouldn't deny either Rafael or Noah to seeing each other no matter what the time was.
Olivia picked Noah up at Amanda's not too shocked to see Carassi, with a bowl of ice-cream, sitting next to Noah, reminding him this didn't happen and talked about the burden of proof.
"I think the burden of proof is in his hands, Sonny." Olivia laughed.
"Counselor." Rafael greeted Sonny.
"Barba, long time no see."
"Uncle Rafa" Noah screamed running at the man's full force. Olivia hadn't made note she was going to dinner with his uncle Rafa not wanting to wind the boy up. He was shocked to see him.
Despite two years going by, he easily lifted the boy into his arms letting the boy dangle around his neck.
"You've gotten so tall!." Rafael claimed.
"I've missed you," Noah claimed. The little boy cried tears streaming down his face.
Amanda looked at Olivia who was shocked by Noah's outburst as much as Olivia was.
Rafael leaned down, so Noah's feet touched the ground and instantly sat on the floor holding him.
"I am so sorry, I left you for so long." Rafael stated he had tears welling up in his own eyes as Olivia bent down and put his hands on Noah's shoulder.
Amanda and Sonny had pulled into the corner watching the scene unfold.
"I just missed you so much," Noah said.
"I missed you too Noah, so much." Rafael admitted.
Rubbing his hand through Noah's curly hair. He smiled at the boy who had a wide grin himself.
"Sorry." Rafael blushed.
"Don't be," Amanda stated.
Olivia just looked over forgetting they were in the same room.
"Thanks for watching him," Olivia claimed.
"Of course," Amanda stated.
"It was great seeing you again Barba," Amanda claims.
"Well, I won't be a stranger I'm in town for a few months," Barba explained.
"Well good we'll see each other soon then." Sonny smiled.
"For sure."
"Let's get you home," Olivia claimed.
"Is uncle Rafa staying?" Noah asked.
"For a little bit." Olivia smiled.
"Okay!" Noah said excitedly.
Amanda walked them to the door and said goodnight, Sonny said goodbye one more time.
They got back to Olivia's car and went back to her place.
"So are they thing?" Rafael asked.
Olivia laughed, "not much changed on that department, I don't think they're romantic, but they both want it."
Rafael nodded and shook his head. Looking in the rearview mirror he saw Noah, who was happily in his booster seat listening in on the adult conversation.
"So you know Liv, I'm working of course but this isn't ADA stuff I can make my own schedule, so if you wouldn't mind I would love to catch up with you and Noah while I'm here," Rafael explained.
"You're welcome anytime," Olivia explained.
"Can Uncle Rafa pick me up from school Monday?!" Noah asked excitingly.
"If it's okay with your mom but I can't do it everyday," Rafael explained.
"We'll see Noah," Olivia stated.
"You know, Noah it's getting pretty late, when we get home, you need to start getting ready for bed," Olivia explained.
"But MOM! Uncle Rafa just got home!" Noah pouted.
"I know but you'll have plenty of time with him the next few months," Olivia claimed.
"Are you going away again uncle Rafa?" Noah asked questionably.
"I have to for my job Noah, but only a few months not as long as this time, then I'll be home back in the city for good," Rafael explained.
"I don't want you to leave again." Noah sighed.
"I don't either but it won't be long. I am sure you will get bord of me before I leave again." Rafael admitted.
"I love when you come over uncle Rafa," Noah claimed.
"I love it when I am with you Noah," Rafael stated.
Olivia couldn't help but smile. He knew that Noah loved his uncle Rafa, and he had a strong bond with him despite the time it took Rafael to warm up to Noah. She was convinced that one day Rafael was going to be the one who got him out of trouble when the time came. Even though Rafael has been away he is the only constant male figure Noah's had in his life besides Fin and Carasi and even though Noah loves uncle Fin and uncle Sonny it's not quite the same. Olivia doesn't know why that is, but it was the truth.
She pulled along the sidewalk finding a spot and got up, Rafael walking the familiar path up to her place.
When Olivia opened the door he saw some new pictures of Noah and some artwork along the wall. The toys had changed a bit but the apartment was familiar.
"Get ready for bed Noah," Olivia stated.
"Uncle Rafa can read me a story right?" Noah asked.
"Of course," Rafael states as he puts his jacket on the hook and slips off his shoes.
Noah rushes to the bathroom and brushes his teeth. He goes to his room and changed into pajamas. Olivia smiles as he comes pulling the shirt down as he runs into the living room to get another glimpse of Rafael as if he was a ghost. She didn't realize the magnitude of her son's response to his return. She should have known. She was happy and relieved that Noah was excited and not overly angry at Rafael leaving. When she explained it would be a long time before they would see each other again, Noah didn't realize it would be that long. Olivia didn't either if she told herself the truth, but that didn't matter he was here now and it had to be enough.
Rafael walked back to Noah's bedroom noticing a big change it was so much more grown-up, he had art along the wall various dance shoes organized on a shelf. Rafael sighed knowing he had missed so much. Noah picked out a book, Raphael was really glad that Olivia and Noah still read together. He didn't know how much longer it would be before Noah thought it was to "babyish." and was glad he still enjoyed it.
Rafael began to read the book and when he was done Noah smiled.
"That's a good one, I am really glad your back," Noah stated.
"Night uncle Rafa I love you," Noah stated.
"Night Noah I love you too," Rafael stated.
He put the book away turned off his light and closed the door.
"Thanks, for putting him to bed," Olivia stated.
"Of course, I missed him," Rafael admitted.
"He missed you," Olivia claimed.
"I'm so sorry Liv when I left I didn't think he'd take it that hard," Rafael stated.
"We all did Rafa, but he was confused why he couldn't see you again but trust me the video chats definitely helped. He talks about you all the time." Olivia claims.
"Don't know how he got so attached," Rafael stated.
"He knows how to pick good friends." Olivia smiled.
"Doesn't feel like I've been a very good one," Rafael said.
"Oh come on we've talked 100 times since you left if not more," Olivia stated.
"But I couldn't be there for you not when your brother died, not with Tucker, not when you made lieutenant, not when you nailed that sick creep Moore or Getz." Rafael described.
"Listen, don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't expect you to be. You were dealing with your own things Rafa, and you needed space, that's allowed. You were there for me. Maybe not physically but every other way. You still know about all this. You asked you caught up. You've been there more than you know." Olivia claimed.
"I don't deserve all this credit Liv," Rafael said sadly.
Olivia walked up next to him looking him in the eye.
"Yes, you do," Olivia stated.
Rafael looks at her stunned that she feels this way. He was for sure dinner wouldn't have been such a joyous occasion, he was sure Olivia was going to tell him off for taking off but she didn't. Now she is validating him running away and that scared him.
"Olivia you know I wasn't running away from you," Rafael mentioned.
"I know, that or you wouldn't have reached out," Olivia mentioned.
Rafael smiled.
"I missed you a lot more than I thought I would," Rafael admitted.
"I don't know how to feel about that counselor," Olivia claimed.
"Me either," Rafael stated.
"So, I'm going to be here a few months, I will gladly pick up Noah Monday it will be nice to catch up with him," Rafael claimed.
"He has danced at 6 he won't let you forget." Olivia smiled.
"Does he like it?" Rafael asks.
"He is tired of the ballet but its a requirement for all the first-year students, he wants to do hip-hop," Olivia stated matter of factly.
Rafael laughed.
"You're doing an amazing job with him Liv," Rafael mentioned.
"He's a wonderful kid." Olivia beamed.
Rafael was hesitant on what to do, He missed her, he missed home and somehow Olivia and his mother New York, home all seemed to mean the same thing to him now.
"Where are you staying Rafa?" Olivia asked.
"Staying at a hotel for the rest of the week, then moving back into my childhood bedroom until I find a place." Rafael laughed.
"Living with your mother, how well will that go over?" Olivia laughed.
"Oh it will be okay for a few days until she gets annoyed with me and I with her." Rafael laughed.
"I'm glad you'll be staying awhile." Olivia smiled.
"Me too," Rafael stated.
"It's getting late," Rafael mentioned.
"Yeah, it is." Olivia sighed.
"I'll see you Monday," Rafael claimed.
"I'll let you know when I get done hopefully if everything goes well we can all meet for dinner before Noah's practice," Olivia explained.
"Sounds wonderful," Rafael stated.
"See you soon," Olivia stated as she watched Rafael walk out the door.
Olivia couldn't help but toss and turn all night Saturday night. Her thoughts were spiraling, she thought about the case that made Rafael leave, the sight of seeing him in person for the first time in 2 years, the thought of wanting something more with the man. Time was ticking she thought. Noah was already 6 and she wasn't sure she wanted him living his whole life without a daddy. She was blessed with her staff being there for both of them, but she wanted him to have something more. Could that be Rafael Barba? She thought 1000 times. She finally fell asleep dreaming about him.
Monday came and Noah was more than excited to take the note to school to say his "uncle" Rafa was picking him up. Olivia made a mental note to call the school and confirm. She went onto the station, they were swamped with backlogged cases and thankfully nothing major has come in so she had been doing nothing but paperwork.
She knew Rafael wouldn't forget to pick up Noah, but she never did tell him when. She sent a text telling him to be at the school at 2:45 to get him. He replied he would be there and Olivia smiled before getting back to work.
The next thing Olivia knew the club co on the wall read 4:45 and Olivia was surprised how late it was, she had finally for the first time in she didn't know how long caught up on everything that on her desk. Emails were another thing but she would take this victory. She checked her texts.
"You getting out on time?" Rafael texted.
"Yeah." Olivia texted back.
"We'll meet you there," Rafael replied back.
Olivia didn't respond. She looked at the emails seeing if any could be replied to quickly. She heard Noah running into the squad room. "Uncle Fin, look who's with me!" Noah squealed.
Fin looked up to see Rafael Barba chasing after the boy.
Fin smiled.
"Hey, Barba long time no see. How are you doing?" Fin mentioned.
"Better now," Rafael claimed.
Fin smiled.
Olivia walked out of her office with a big smile, bending down to give Noah a hug.
"Hi, my sweet boy you ready for some pizza?" Olivia asked.
"YEAH!" Noah screamed.
"I've had to tell no to him twice, wasn't sure if we going to be able to make it past another shop." Rafael laughed.
"Yeah well, it's something you both can't say no too." Olivia laughed.
Rafael blushed pizza and steak was a weakness. Carassi had just walked through the door.
"Uncle Sonny!" Noah charged at him.
"You already taking off?" Sonny asked.
"Yeah, you need something?" Olivia asked.
"Nothing that can't wait," Sonny admitted.
"Okay, here," Olivia grabbed the keys and set the file in her office.
"I'll see you in the morning," Oliva smiled.
"Good seeing you again Barba," Sonny noted and took the steps back down to the city.
Olivia told Fin to take off, and She Rafael and Noah went to the pizza shop.
The 3 of them split a large pizza Olivia expected for a piece or 2 to go home with her but the 3 of them ate the whole thing, leaving 15 minutes to make it to dance class. Olivia got the boy there on time, not sure after spending the last 3 hours with Noah if Rafael would want to spend any time with her.
"I don't have any plans Liv," Rafael states as if reading her mind.
"I just want to go home will you join me?" Olivia asked.
"Of course. " Rafael agreed.
Olivia and Rafael made it to her apartment she had about an hour and 45 minutes before she had to pick up Noah.
"Listen, Rafa, I've been thinking, and you know time just keeps going by so fast." Olivia started.
"I've noticed that myself," Rafael mentioned.
"I want you to know I've always had a thing for you," Olivia said nervously.
"A thing for me?" Rafael asks.
"Yeah, but I was with Brian and I was happy, really happy and you were the ADA I couldn't let anything happen, then Brian and I split up, but I wouldn't, I couldn't I've already risked cases before and I wasn't going to do it again. We worked so well together and if I couldn't have you how I wanted you..."Olivia stopped.
"How you wanted me?" Rafael asks.
Olivia can't help but giggle at his parroting.
"Yes, how I wanted you, I wasn't going to lose you as a friend. I just want you to know how I feel because I've never told you and if anything I've come to realize that we never have as much time as we think." Olivia finished.
Rafael just stares at her confused upset elated.
"If you want to go." Olivia starts.
"Are you kidding me!" Rafael exclaims.
"Olivia, I'll admit when I first met you, you drove me absolutely crazy and I didn't think it was in a good way, but the more we worked together, everything just clicked but first you with Brian, and then with Tucker. By the time you 2 broke up I knew you just needed time for you and I didn't think you felt the same way." Rafael looked at her.
Now it was time for Olivia to be shocked.
"It wouldn't have worked then," Olivia said quietly.
"But it can now," Rafael said.
Olivia stepped closer to him.
"So we're doing this?" Olivia asks.
"Yeah we're doing this," Rafael claimed.
Rafael captured Olivia's lips, she allowed his tongue to enter her mouth and sighed in pleasure as the two of them explored each other's mouth.
Rafael rested his hands on her hips.
"This okay?" Rafael asked.
"Yeah more than okay." Olivia smiled.
They continued touching her bare skin on her sides, she had her hands under his shirt and she wanted nothing more to continue.
"I have to get Noah soon," Olivia mentioned.
"Yeah okay," Rafael stated.
He looked at the clock they had about 15 minutes and he wasn't wasting any more time without her. For the next 15 minutes he kissed her lips, he hugged her, he wanted nothing more to undress her but now wasn't the time. Rafael knew that he had her now and they wouldn't let go.