There has been this feeling of familiarity about him ever since they met which Eren can't explain. It is the same as seeing an old friend he would have lost sight of and was meeting for the first time after all those years of being apart, a kind of nostalgic feeling overwhelming his every sense, his heart seizing and thumping rapidly, and a warm feeling going all the way to the pit of his stomach, making him want to smile until his cheeks hurt.
Eren sees him for the first time at some kind of student gathering – at which Armin forced him to go, because he wants Eren to meet the new friend he made at his university club. The brunet goes reluctantly, but is glad he did in the end, otherwise he wouldn't have met him. He is there, alongside Armin's new friend, sitting with his legs and arms crossed, looking as if he has been dragged there like Eren had.
Their eyes meet for a few seconds but for Eren it is as if time has stopped around them. He is unable to advert his gaze once they lock eyes with each other, feeling as if he is being sucked into the depths of the dark blue pools of his iris, drowning into them with no means of escape. The moment he hears his name, that feeling is amplified and it resonates inside his head and heart like an echo in a cave, leaving his mind empty except for that one little word.
Levi.
They rapidly become friends after that day. Eren feels completely comfortable in Levi's presence, right from the beginning, making it easier for him to talk to him about anything. Eren isn't a very open person. He seems a bit harsh at first glance, with his long hair tied in a messy bun, his bushy eyebrows, his rough face as if he looks angry all the time, and also with his tall and strong body. It's even worse when he unties his hair or let his facial hair grow.
Eren doesn't really care about how others see him. If people can't go past their assumptions of him based on his appearance to talk to him and discover he isn't as harsh as he looks, it's their problem, not his. He is content with the small circle of friends he has been able to surround himself with along the years, and doesn't particularly want to expand it. 'The more the merrier' isn't really his motto.
However, he doesn't mind welcoming Hanji and -especially- Levi inside it. On the contrary, he is thrilled. He becomes as open with Levi as he would be with Armin, sometimes even more, and it surprises all of his friends, including him. Like he said, he can't really explain it.
As he comes to know more about Levi, he rapidly realizes his reactions are more often along the lines of "that's just like him", as if he was expecting it right from the beginning, instead of the usual surprise or realization of "so that's what he likes?" that normally comes to mind when getting to know someone new.
Months have passed since then. Eren and Levi are almost always hanging out together, to the point Eren is hardly seeing his other friends; that's the reason he agreed to go to the party he's currently at, even though he doesn't really like parties, to see them. He thinks of drinking to make it more bearable for him, but considering he's a heavy weight, even after a few bottles of beer he can only feel a slight buzz, still in complete control of his body and thoughts. It is at that moment that Hanji and Levi decide to show up at the party, making Eren smile unconsciously despite his earlier reluctance.
The party is definitely worth it now.
Levi being even worse than him when it comes to places gathering a lot of people, they both make their way to the garden to distance themselves from the crowd, taking a few bottles and some food with them. They talk about anything and everything, that familiar feeling of security the brunet feels in Levi's presence overtaking his senses per usual. Eren relishes in that comfort, feeling a smile making its way on his lips, and before he can think more of it, he asks:
"Do you feel it too, Levi?"
He has been curious about it for a while now, if he's the only one experiencing those feelings or if they are reciprocated. The fact he has been drinking is helping unloose his tongue and puts him more at ease to ask and satisfy his curiosity.
"What? The wind? Yeah, it's getting fucking cold."
Eren chuckles softly, not surprised at the answer. Levi can be very chilly, his body very sensitive to cold temperatures, but he's getting sidetracked.
"Nah, not that! This!" Eren points between the two of them.
Levi looks back at him with a raised eyebrow, taking a short sip of his beer, silently asking him for more explanation. Eren worries at his bottom lip, suddenly feeling less brave than a second ago and dreading an answer. He isn't really good with words, neither of them is, but now that he has started he won't let go until the end.
"It's not just me… is it?"
Levi still says nothing, looking at him with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows, and Eren can't stop his mouth from running now, his brain to mouth filter completely gone – not that he had one from the beginning.
"That thing between us! You can't tell me you don't feel it, right?"
Levi eventually stops drinking his beer to finally answer him, but it isn't the answer he was waiting for, nor what he has been anticipating, and his whole body grows tense at his harsh tone.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
It is as if something breaks inside of Eren, and he can't stand looking at Levi in the eye, at the way his expression almost looks reproachful, accusing, like he has just been insulted. Maybe it really is just him. Maybe he has been delusional from the beginning. Maybe he was afraid of opening his eyes and admit to himself it isn't reciprocated. Whatever is between them isn't chemistry, it's only Eren and his one-sided feelings for Levi.
Levi doesn't feel the same.
All of the sudden, it's too hard for Eren to breath and he has to get out of there. He needs to go somewhere he won't have to feel this pathetic and miserable, somewhere far away from Levi and his undesirable feelings for him.
So, he runs. He runs as far as his legs can carry him without looking back. He leaves the house where he was mere minutes ago behind him and his shattered heart with it. If this is how it feels like to love and not being loved back, he doesn't need a heart. He'll just go back to being numb like he felt for years before meeting Levi, like a piece of him has been missing all along. It's okay, he has grown used to it, even if it has been a while since he felt it. He'll just have to get used to it once more.
However, he doesn't know if he really wants to. He doesn't know if he wants to never see Levi again, never see his small and rare smiles, the way he smirks at him when he teases him, the way his eyes shine when he finds something of interest to him or the way his eyebrows raise just slightly when he's impressed with something. Or the way his voice becomes deeper when he's annoyed, the way he says his name, with his voice lowering at the end. The way he moves, the way he stands…
He doesn't know if he can go on with his life without all of this. Without him.
It may be impossible after all. The raven has become such an important part of his life, a part of him, and he can't just let it go, but does he have a choice? Will it be possible for them to go back to the way they were before, with Eren knowing they'll never be more?
He doesn't know where he is anymore. He ran so much, without looking where he was going, and now he doesn't recognize anything around him. He's lost, both literally and metaphorically, but all he can think about is Levi, Levi, Levi…
Eren doesn't know how long it has been raining, doesn't know how long he's been sitting there either, curled on himself, waiting for something to happen – what, he doesn't know. It has been long enough for the alcohol to stop clouding his mind, and now he realizes how excessively he reacted, for something which may not even be what he thought it was. What he told Levi was confusing and incomprehensible, the raven may have not even understood what he was trying to say.
What an idiot he is.
"Eren?"
Someone is calling his name, but it is so distant he can't really tell who it is; it doesn't matter though. Someone found him. This way, he'll be able to go back home. He won't be lost anymore, and maybe he'll be able to call Levi and apologize for his behavior. Who leaves their phone at their place before going to a party they don't even want to go to anyway?
"Eren!"
He turns around only to find Levi running towards him, an umbrella shielding him from the pouring rain, looking extremely worried. The moment he is close to the soaked brunet, he puts the umbrella above his head, disregarding his own body, his clothes starting to get wet in turn.
"What were you thinking, idiot?! I've been looking for you for hours!"
His tone is harsh but also quivering, and Eren notices he's shaking, probably freezing. He still looked for him despite the weather – for hours – and something warm takes residence in his stomach. His throat is tight however, and he finds it hard to answer.
"S-Sorry…"
"Seriously, you got me so worried! You fucking idiot!"
The next second Eren feels rain falling on him again, but it's not the only thing he can feel. Levi has completely disregarded the umbrella for the sake of throwing himself at Eren, caging him inside his arms while kneeling on the wet and dirty ground to be at his level. He can feel the wet strands of Levi's hair on his neck and his cold yet warm body against his own.
"And why can't you tell me things more clearly? You know I'm a light weight and that I become as dumb as a cow when I drink! I had to wait to sober up to understand what you told me!"
It then becomes too much for Eren and the tears he has been holding back all this time falls from his eyes, his heart overwhelmed with emotions. He really had it all wrong, and he feels both guilty -for his reaction- and relieved -for Levi's. If Levi understood what he meant and is here hugging him, it means he feels the same, right? It isn't wishful thinking anymore, right?
"I- I was a bit drunk too and I- I don't know why I reacted that way I just-"
Levi untangles himself from Eren in order to look at him in the eye, smiling softly, and his heart melts at the view.
"We're both bad with words. And stupid. Because I never said anything when I should have."
"You mean you-"
"Feel the same, yeah. Why would I be hugging you otherwise, idiot?"
Eren smiles back at him, putting his arms around his waist to keep him close to his body.
"Your idiot, though."
Levi snorts at that but doesn't deny it. Instead, he smashes his lips against Eren's, who immediately answers eagerly, relishing in the feeling of finally being able to taste Levi. He lets him take control of their kiss for a moment, one hand messing with his bun while the other tenderly caresses his jaw and throat. At some point though, Eren can't take it anymore and nibbles at Levi's lower lip, bringing Levi on his lap, now the one dominating their passionate exchange. Levi doesn't resist him, only opens his mouth to let Eren devour him from the inside, and the brunet doesn't waste any second to do so.
They stay like this for a while, just kissing each other desperately and tenderly, touching every bit of skin they can reach, the rain and the world around them completely forgotten. Eren feels like he's soaring with Levi there, in his arms, so close to him, their soul resonating with one another and bringing to his ears a delicious melody he can't get tired of, and finally he feels complete. Like his purpose in life has finally be achieved, like he is finally free from the shackles he has been bound by for all those years, and it feels divine.
He feels alive.
"We did the right thing letting them meet, right?"
A small voice says not too far from the scene, his worry showing on his round face. The person is playing with their blond hair, a nervous gesture the person he asked the question to immediately notices, slapping them on their back to reassure them.
"Don't worry, Armin!" He tries to recover from the shock, the slap being a bit harder than intended. "What? You're afraid of them remembering?" He nods, and the bespectacled brunet next to him shrugs in answer. "Would that be a bad thing though?"
Armin turns around, his mouth wide open, then closes it, unsure. They are both silent for a few seconds before he finally finds what he wants to say.
"I don't know, Hanji, I just- I want them to be happy." He looks at the two men smiling at each other, their foreheads touching, and cracks a smile. "Have what they couldn't have before."
"And they will, don't worry!" Hanji assures him, their voice calm and confident. "They found each other again. They'll be fine."
The both of them watch their friends getting back on their feet and retrieving the umbrella, clinging to each other in order to fit under it even though they're both already drenched. Happiness is evident on their face, and Armin replays Hanji's words in his head while the men move away from them, arm in arm.
They'll be fine.