Track 9: Words and Guitar

Relena headed down the hall that led to the stage where her two partners were waiting. They were still riding the end of 'Starpower', stretching it out for a little more time. The crowd seemed to be buying it, but Relena assumed that there were some in attendance who were wondering why only two of them made their presence known. It sucked to be in this perdiciment, because that meant there would be more attention on her than before. If she would have hit the stage with Hilde and Dorothy from the beginning, then at least she would've been a part of the group. Now, it looked like she was getting her own special entrance. Like this was some grand reveal for the new girl.

She really screwed this up, she thought.

Keeping a fist tightly against her breast, she tried her best to steady her breathing, doing what she could to keep from hyperventilating. Relena fought as much as she could to keep her stage fright and stress from turning her feet into stone and stopping her progress. Her mind needed to be clear, otherwise she would collapse from a panic attack. She began to wonder what would happen if she just stopped moving now, maybe even fleeing back into the green room. It started to sound tempting, but just as she considered a possible retreat, another thought pushed that away.

"I'll do my best to make up for how I've acted towards you, Relena."

She had to keep moving, because he was going to be up there watching. Heero's voice reverberated throughout her head. Right now, he was heading for the balcony where he would keep his eye on her. Heero was rooting for her, and she knew it. He was extending a helping hand when he didn't have to. There might have been some left over guilt from his past behavior, but for whatever reason, Relena felt there might have been something more to Heero offering his assistance. She wanted to think a little more about that, but she had something to accomplish that took precedence.

Especially since there was now a third person she couldn't let down.

She would perform for those Prussian colored spotlights only, and that tinted her cheeks a rose colored shade. She chuckled at those somewhat suggestive thoughts, still wondering if Heero knew exactly what he said when those words flew past his lips. She guessed he didn't, and she found it amusing to think that Heero was accidentally smooth talking her.

She felt her body start to relax when she thought of him and a slight grin appeared on her face. He was helping her already and she didn't even hit the stage yet.

Finding herself right at the end of the hall, Relena locked stares with Dorothy, who strummed away to the end of the song. The look in Dorothy's eyes asked Relena if she was okay, if she was really good to go. Relena responded with a nod of the head. Butterflies still swirled within her stomach, but it was time for the show to start. Dorothy nodded back at her and then looked at Hilde, letting her know that their third member was on her way.

It was now or never. She reminded herself that this was what she wanted. It was in her grasp and she wasn't going to let it slip away. 'Heero… watch me, I'll show you what I can do.'

That was her last thought before she took her first step out, officially introducing their fans to the young woman known as Relena Peacecraft.

Heero finally returned to the balcony where Quatre and his bandmates were still hanging out, all of them looking at him questioningly. He wasn't interested in telling them what happened, he had something else on his mind, and right now that was all he could concentrate on. He moved as fast as he could to make it back; he had no intention of letting her down like before. He would do whatever he could to rectify his mistakes, knowing that from here on out he would never disappoint her ever again.

"Yo, where the hell did you go?" Duo asked, being the first to speak.

Heero didn't bother answering, moving right for the edge of balcony so he could lean over the railing, almost looking like he would fall over if he leaned in any further. He focused all of his attention on the stage, waiting for Relena to appear. He was glad that he got there before she showed up, but also kind of worried that maybe she was having second thoughts. His forehead began to crease, not liking how that sat with him. He heard her play before, and he knew that she had a passion for this. Heero felt like she had it in her to blow people away, she just needed to find her stage legs.

Some people were just born for this, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt like Relena was a part of that group. She just needed help to find that out herself, and that's why he found himself watching a Jezebels show more intently than he ever had before. Yup, even more than when she was in the band.

He noticed Dorothy peered to the side, clearly looking over at something or someone. She nodded and then she looked over at Hilde. Heero watched this go down and then heard the audience begin to get louder, giving a sort of tepid cheer once the third member of the band finally stepped out. He watched closely as Relena did her best to keep her view away from the crowd. Heero could tell they weren't sure what to make of her; they were probably confused as to why she came out last.

His eyes remained on Relena as she approached her Fender Jaguar, watching as she threw the strap over her shoulder. She moved very apprehensively and he could tell she was still struggling to maintain her composure. She stood there, fiddling with her guitar knowing full well she still couldn't turn to face the crowd. At that moment, Heero wished that he could somehow talk to her from where he stood. If only there was some way his voice could reach her... to tell her that it was going to be fine… but Heero knew that wasn't possible. The best he could do was remain on the balcony like he promised and who knows, maybe his thoughts could reach her.

'C'mon, Relena… you can do this. I'm right here, so look at me.' Heero tried to communicate. 'I know how good you are. You have the talent, and if this crowd is smart... ' He looked on as Dorothy approached her. '... then they'll like you, too.'

"Are we all set, Relena?" Dorothy asked the young woman, watching as her friend took deep breaths and tried to calm herself. She was still unconvinced that Relena was ready to be out here, and the crowd was restless once more. She even heard some slight jeering which was not common at any of their shows. "Relena, we need to-"

"Just tell me one thing." Relena spoke, exhaling one more time.

"What?" Dorothy noticed a slight change in her demeanor.

"Tell me, is Heero up there?" she asked, just needing that one thing confirmed to her.

"Heero? What do you mean?" a perplexed Dorothy questioned.

"On the balcony... is Heero up there?" Relena asked again. Her answer would determine whether or not this show would begin.

"Um…" Dorothy took a quick glance up at the balcony, and the first thing she noticed was Heero looking like he was about to dive into the crowd. She looked back at Relena and nodded. "Yes, I see him."

Relena nodded and gave her bandmate a smile. "That's all I needed to know." Dorothy was confused, but figured that this had something to do with whatever plan Heero had when they left them alone. She wanted to know more, but now clearly wasn't them time. They had wasted enough already. "I'm ready. Let's go."

"About time." Dorothy smirked. She looked at Hilde once more before backing away, trusting Relena would kick things off.

Relena tightly grabbed her guitar and began lightly strumming away at the strings. The distorted sound bounced off the walls of the club, riling up the crowd who were more than ready for another song to begin, preferably one that belonged to them. Relena obliged and kicked off with the title track to their latest album. The recognizable riff shot right through the crowd like a bolt of lightning. She picked at the strings with purpose with Dorothy jumped in to provide extra energy with her black Gibson Les Paul. Hilde's fast, maniacal drumming backed them up, kicking it up another gear. The maximum capacity crowd couldn't keep still, exploding at the combined skills of the three women.

The time for Relena to sing came… and after releasing one last breath, she backed up and spun to find herself in front of the mic. Her eyes immediately shot upwards, not even curious to know what the crowd looked like, to find the man who got her out there in the first place. She couldn't see him perfectly, but still felt the encouraging stare of his eyes pushing her to play to the best of her ability.

Dig me out, Dig me in

Out of this mess, baby, out my head

What do you want? What do you know?

One to get started, Three till we go

A feeling of relief washed over Heero, glad to finally see her out there. He could tell she was focusing on him, and that's exactly how he wanted it. He nodded along with the song, watching as she played the hell out of her Jaguar. Her voice, expanded by the loud stacks of speakers, vibrated pleasantly through his ears. He had heard her sing before, but while he begrudgingly accepted her talent then, he found himself appreciating it a lot more now. He didn't have those Sylvia blinders on anymore, and he could see Relena at her best. Now, they were coming to the chorus.

Dig me out! Dig me in!

Out of this mess, baby, out of my head!

Dig me out! Dig me in!

Out of my body, Out of my skin!

Her shouting was different than Sylvia's, Heero noted. He said he wouldn't think of his ex anymore, but really, what other comparison was there to make? While Sylvia's voice could rise to this vicious caterwaul that Heero always appreciated as a punk guy, Relena's held a smoother, almost silky like feel to it. There was a warmth to her voice that embraced Heero, and he held a very favorable opinion of it. Much like how he slowly evolved from his punk roots in his music, he found himself appreciating her singing style more as she continued, leaving what was there before in the rearview as she arrived at the breakdown.

You got me...

For now...

I'm here...

For now...

With the occasional look at her guitar, or at her bandmates, Relena never once peered into the mass of people in front of her. It felt strange to think, but she didn't care about the fans. No, like he said, there was only one person in attendance that should matter to her, at least for tonight. Although his visage was farther away than she would've liked, she could still see him nodding along with the music in what she felt was a mixture of enjoyment and approval. This only emboldened Relena to lose herself in her performance, going at that riff with more spirit and intensity.

What do you want? What do you know?

Do you get nervous making me go?

Get into your sores, get into your things

Do you get nervous watching me bleed?

After another go at the chorus, Heero could see that she was getting there. Her comfort level was rising, and it made him feel something to be a part of that. His heart began thudding a little bit harder as a sense of pride swelled within him. It also helped that she looked, well, incredibly beautiful as well. Heero reached over, squeezing his arm as he thought that.

I wear your rings and sores

In me, in me, it shows

You got me...

For now...

I'm here...

For now...

Heero studied her appearance. She kind of reminded him of some of the girls that he saw at these shows, but she was far from just another punk chick in the crowd. No, not with that face, Heero thought. With those flawless, golden strands dancing around her perfectly shaped face as she moved, Heero could feel himself getting hypnotized, and it didn't help that he requested that she look up directly at him. She stood in contrast with Dorothy beside her who always wore expensive designer dresses and heels that cost as much, if not more, than some of their instruments. He always found that funny as she would kick off her shoes halfway through the set anyway. But, he didn't pretend to understand women's fashion, nor did he try to understand Dorothy, either. Oh well, not his arena, that's Quatre's.

Oh, God, let me in

There's nowhere else to go

Oh, God, let me in

And let me go! go! go! go!

Relena exploded at those last four repeated words. Her voice soared throughout Barge and, surprisingly, the crowd chanted it back at her. She cracked a smile up at Heero, almost as if asking him 'Did you see that?' And although he couldn't read her thoughts, he nodded in approval at the crowd reaction. 'Yeah, that was great.' Heero's inner voice said. They went for the chorus one last time.

Dig me out, Dig me in

Out of this mess, baby, out of my head

Dig me out, Dig me in

Out of my body, Out of my skin

Hilde killed her drums as Dorothy and Relena played out the riff together to close out the song, bringing 'Dig Me Out' to it's sudden end. Relena turned around as the crowd erupted. She gave quick glances to each of her bandmates, both of them looking back at her positively. Dorothy reached for a water bottle she had in front of Hilde's drumset, she took a sip and approached the woman with her back to the audience. "Very good, dear. I've got to thank you for saving this show."

Relena shook her head with a grin. "No," she pointed a thumb over her shoulder. "Thank that guy up there."

'Thank you, Heero, but I'm not done yet. So keep watching, because it'll only get better.'

"Worth the wait, huh?" Trowa asked the rest of the men who clapped their approval.

"I'd say, though we all knew she was pretty good." Quatre nodded back at the bassist.

"She was good," Wufei concurred. "But it was still too long of a wait."

"Quit complaining," Duo piped in. "This is the first time they've played anything off this record in front of a crowd, and with a new member. Appreciate what you just saw." He turned to look at Heero. "What did you think? How ya' like Relena now?" Heero didn't respond, remaining leaned over, still looking towards the stage.

But Duo did notice something off about him. "Are… are you smiling?" Heero remained silent. "You are smiling. You creep."

Heero fought back the urge to smack his guitarist. Right now, it was about Relena and what she just accomplished. Nothing else mattered but what she was able to do in her first live performance. The crowd loved it, and so did he. He guessed they were a smart audience after all. 'Good job, Relena. You keep playing and I'll keep watching.'

"You keep an eye on her, okay Trowa?" Quatre asked of the green eyed bass player.

"Excuse me," Dorothy huffed in annoyance. "When do you hear about me getting into trouble? Goodness, Quatre, you act as if my name is Duo."

"What do I do?" Duo didn't appreciate his name being brought up. They all stood out in front of a now empty Club Barge, the show having wrapped up a little over an hour and a half ago.

"Well I do get calls complaining that you forget to pay for drinks sometimes." Quatre reminded the braided musician.

"Yeah, I've seen it happen." Trowa nodded with a funny grin. "And you always try to tell them that Wufei said he would pay."

"I know," Duo smirked. "It never works, Wufei gets mad as hell and I end up running out of the club."

"I'm starting to think that's why you do it." the green eyed man chuckled.

"Maybe." a wink coming from Duo.

"And you tell Trowa to keep an eye on me?" Dorothy looked to Quatre, daring him to compare his antics to her.

Quatre shrugged. "Well you are a terrible flirt from what I hear."

"Quatre… really?" Dorothy said flatly with her hands on her hips.

"Just relaying what I've been told." Quatre replied, looking at the disappointed look in her eyes. He kind of regretted bringing it up now. It's not like she ever did anything past that anyway. He hated how bad he was when it came to talking to Dorothy.

"Don't you worry, Q." Duo slung an arm over Dorothy's shoulder, deepening her irritation. "We got you covered, I'll make sure Dots is on her best behavior." He looked down at the woman he had under his arm. Right now, only Heero could produce a scarier glare than what he was getting from the Catalonia girl. "I'll let you go, just say goodbye to the boss man, y'all won't be seeing much of each other for the next twelve weeks."

Dorothy gave one last look at Quatre and huffed as she tore herself away from Duo's grasp, trotting for her tour bus. "You've got your work cut out for you Q, see ya!" Duo spun on his heel, trying to catch up with the platinum blonde.

Trowa patted Quatre on the shoulder. "She'll be fine."

"Yeah, I know." Quatre sighed. "You guys take care."

Trowa started moving for bus, waving a goodbye over to Quatre as he departed. The bassist was pretty tired after tonight. He would find his place on the bus and start catching up on some sleep. He knew Wufei already got a head start on that.

"Hey, Dorothy!" Duo caught up with one third of the Jezebels.

"If it's about Quatre, don't even bother." she warned him.

"Nah, it ain't about him." Duo began walking beside her. "But if you need an ear…"

"Thanks, but you'd be the last person I go to."

"So mean…" Duo' slumped his shoulders. "Anyway, just wanted to ask if I can sleep in your bus tonight. I've never been on the road with my girl before so I-"

"Don't even bother finishing that sentence." Dorothy cut him off, not wanting any part of him on their bus.

"Oh c'mon!" Duo whined. "I promise we'll keep the bangin' at a minimum."

"God... " Dorothy rolled her eyes. "At least it wouldn't last very long."

"Hey, how do you know how long I can go?" Duo chuckled.

"I don't." Dorothy responded, getting agitated at the fact that she was even in this conversation with Duo. "Just a lucky guess."

"Alright," Duo continued to follow the other guitarist. "But seriously, let me have a few nights with you guys. Yeah, Hilde can be a bit of a screamer but-"

"Duo! Eww!" Dorothy covered her ears, moving a lot quicker on her feet now. "I don't want to hear that about my drummer!"

"Hear what?" Hilde asked, hearing the commotion as she stepped down from the bus.

"Oh nothin'! No one said nothin!" Duo nervously laughed, rubbing at the back of his head.

"Oh, he said something!" Dorothy exclaimed, getting closer to Hilde.

"What'd he say now?" Hilde's expression morphed into one of disappointment, knowing what kind of an idiot her boyfriend was.

"Dorothy, don't!" Duo begged the blonde.

Relena shook her head and smiled at the scene. She walked by them, wondering how they still had enough energy left. She felt spent after her first time on stage. It surprised her how much energy one could expend performing. Relena jokingly wondered if she was even in good enough shape to keep doing this.

It felt good to have her first time under her belt. For a second there, it almost looked like it wasn't going to happen. It would've been disastrous had she not gone on with the girls. Everything would have been for nothing and there would have been no reason for her to come in the first place.

She was grateful for Heero's help; she owed him big time. Her eyes were on him for most of the show, but there came a certain point towards the end where she did start to feel comfortable enough to look at the crowd. If there was anything she could do to pay Heero back for what he did for her tonight, she needed to find out what that was.

And to think, she began today hating him, and by the end of the night he became her savior.

Just reflecting on it was exhausting her. It didn't help that she was lugging around her Jaguar in its case. She needed to get it in one of the vans so that she could start resting up. The extra weight was slowing her down, though she figured it was only a hassle because she left so much of herself, mentally and physically, on Barge's stage.

She sighed and kept going, but all of a sudden the weight in the form of her guitar case disappeared. That's when she saw Heero walk past her with her guitar in his grasp. He snatched it from her, heading for the van to put it away on her behalf.

"H-Heero!" she called out to him. "I can do that myself, you know."

He looked back at her with a blank expression. "I don't doubt it." he deadpanned, marching for his destination. Relena sighed, watching as he put away her guitar. Having finished that up and closing the back of the vehicle, Heero walked back over to Relena who was now bundled up in her long overcoat. He looked down at her, keeping his hands hidden in his pockets, both of them just studying each other. Relena wondered how he could stand out here with just a sleeveless shirt on. It was kind of chilly out, and here he was, exposing his arms like it was the first day of spring. Not that she minded, he clearly kept himself in shape.

She was gonna say something to him, but Heero beat her to the punch. "You did good tonight."

Relena nodded. "It's all thanks to you."

Heero immediately denied that. "No, you always had it in you. I just helped a little, that's all."

'That's all?' she thought that sounded ridiculous. Between his apology and his idea for her performance, he was obviously the biggest reason for her success. "Yeah, you need to give yourself more credit than that."

He shook his head. "Nope." Relena groaned, but blessed him with a smirk anyway.

"Well, whatever makes you feel better." she replied. She looked up to stare at those precious Prussian orbs that helped her so much today. Being under his watch encouraged her to finish the night, and now his blue gaze started to change her cheeks red. It was weird how her reactions to him changed over the course of a few hours. When you don't hate someone anymore, its surprising how much things can seem different.

"Are… you gonna be okay going forward?" Heero asked, knowing that they got through tonight, but they still had a lot of shows to go.

"Hm," Relena thought about the future, knowing she still had a lot more experience to acquire. "To be honest, I'm not sure if I've completely gotten over my nervousness." Relena answered truthfully. "I don't think just one night is going to prepare me for every show we have coming up. So… I was thinking that…"

Heero could tell what was coming next and answered. "If you need me, I'll be there. Don't worry."

Relena gave him a wide smile, thankful that she could have his help again. She knew she was going to need it. "Thank you, Heero. I honestly don't know how I can pay you back for what you're doing for me."

"Don't bother, I want to do this for you." his baritone rumbled, causing Relena to quiver slightly at his choice of words.

"Alright then..." she tucked a strand of her golden locks behind her ear. "Well, how are you holding up?" Relena had a feeling that she just asked a silly question, but Heero kind of threw her off with his last reply.

He shrugged a shoulder. "I'm fine, it's what I do." he responded simply. Even though her exhaustion was clear to him, it did nothing to take away from her heavenly aura. There was that word again… Heaven… He recalled that riff he had been working on, trying to find a song to write around it. 'Heaven Hill' is what it was called, but it needed something else. He hoped he would get closer to finding something that would give him what he needed to complete this future Do You Remember? song.

"You okay, Heero?" He was losing himself thinking about what 'Heaven Hill' could become. Relena must've picked up on that, he figured.

"It's nothing, maybe I am getting a little tired." he told her.

"Makes sense," Relena released a chuckle. "It's almost one thirty in the morning. Even the almighty Heero must have a bedtime." Heero tossed her an eye roll, which only got another chuckle out of her. He would allow her a laugh at his expense, she earned it. "Well, I'll let you get some rest, lord knows I need it." Relena got herself ready to meet the other two Jezebel members, spinning on her heels. "Have a good night, Heero. And thanks again, I'll never forget what you did tonight."

"Hn." Heero nodded, wanting to say more to her… He watched her begin to walk away, her coat gliding along behind her. He bit his lip and decided that he needed to tell her one more thing. "Relena."

"Hm?" she turned around, looking at him quizzically. "Yes, Heero?"

"Um," Heero clenched his fists in his pockets, forcing the words out. He wasn't sure why it was so hard to say. "That day I blew up at you… at Peacemillion…" Heero began.

"Yes?" Relena wondered why he was bringing that up.

"You said… um, before I started talking stupid, you said you wanted to talk to me." Heero reminded her, feeling silly for not getting the words out a little better. "It was about my music, if I'm remembering correctly."

Relena remembered. Ever since hearing Zen Arcade… no, even before that, she wanted an opportunity to speak with him about his work. She had hoped to get the chance to do it that day, but obviously things didn't work out that way. "Yes, I do recall…"

"So, I was thinking…" Heero continued on, hoping to get a favorable response. "Since we'll be getting a lot of time with each other, that… whenever you want to talk about anything music related, or whatever… just let me know. I wouldn't mind hearing what you have to say."

Relena prefaced her response with the biggest smile she had given yet. Heero's heart smacked hard at the gorgeous image of a smiling Relena Peacecraft. "I think I would love that. I'll definitely take you up on that offer. Thank you, Heero… have a wonderful sleep!" From there, Relena took her leave. Heero did the same, pivoting his direction to his tour bus.

Grinning from ear to ear as he did so.

About a week and a half later, in some small record store somewhere, a man working behind the register watched as a woman hovered over the new releases section of the store. He saw her pick up a vinyl copy of Zen Arcade. They just started putting out physical copies of the album, and the shipment for Zen Arcade came in a couple of days ago.

"That's a really good record you have there!" He said to the woman, hoping he wasn't bothering her.

"Is that so?" the blonde wearing sunglasses smiled up at him. "Well it does look like an interesting album." She noted the eye catching cover, with its washed out colors over a distorted look of a junkyard, the silhouettes of four people also in view.

"Yeah, it's the best thing I heard in a pretty long time." the man behind the register responded enthusiastically. "Between that and Dig Me Out, I can't say for sure which I like better. I'm leaning Zen Arcade but I don't know, maybe I'll change my pick again."

"Really?" the woman held back a laugh, finding his response humorous. "Well, in that case, I think I'll take this record." The woman grabbed a copy of Zen Arcade and brought it up to the counter.

The man took the album and began cashing her out. "Have you ever listened to anything by these guys?" the obvious music nerd working the register asked.

The woman looked downward, reaching for her wallet to pull out her credit card, handing it over to him. "I may have heard a song or two."

He swiped her card, watching as the blonde removed her glasses. She was a really pretty girl, but he would keep that to himself, obviously. He handed back her card and asked for her signature. The woman signed the small slip of paper, handing it back to him. She took her copy of Zen Arcade, gave the man a wink and headed for the door. "Have a good day." were her final words, leaving the man with a blush on his cheeks.

"She was cute…" the man said to himself. "But… I feel like I've seen her before. Man, I'm bad with faces." he looked down at the signed slip. It was there that his eyes widened a bit.

Because if he was reading this correctly, and signatures aren't the easiest to read, then Sylvia Noventa of the Jezebels just bought something from this store.

AN: It's 2020 and Gundam Wing will be turning 25 years old. Wow... kinda crazy to think about. That means I've been loving this series for 20 years. I'm washed up lol Anyway, I'll kick off the new year by thanking everyone for reading this. It surprises me that there are people even bothering with this fic, to be honest. I went into this story thinking 'Hmm... what would 15 year old me like to read?' and the answer I came up with was that mid-teens ViciousBluesummers would have killed for a GW, AU, 1xR story that somehow worked in the music I was discovering at the time. And so, that was how 'Love On The Expressway To Yr Skull' was born. The story is so specific to me that it shocks me people even kinda like it. I thought I would be writing this for myself and that's it lol Which didn't bother me because I knew I would be having a blast writing it. I hope you all have half as much fun reading it as I am writing it.

Originally, I intended this story to be short, but that's now changed a bit. Which is fine, because I'm in no hurry to finish it. Because once I'm done with this story and my other one ('How Soon Is Now?'), there's a 50/50 chance that I may not write anymore after completing them, and I'll just revert back to my old reviewer/lurker ways again.

Anyway, I'll shut up now! I hope your 2020 is better than your 2019! Love you all! Los amo a todos!

Sleater-Kinney - "Dig Me Out"

Sleater-Kinney - "Words and Guitar"