Disclaimer: I recently got obsessed with Game of Thrones, but doesn't mean I own it!
Story: It's that time of the year. The annual Stark-Baratheon-Lannister family gathering is at hand. For Sansa, this year things are the same and not. Though...maybe a little more not, if some of her interactions are any indications. After all, some of her guy friends are being really strange with her. Maybe it's just the holiday spirit? Then again, she's still cooking with Tywin and snarking with Renly, and maybe she's still awkward around Roose –but that's just been the way of things, right? Where the hell did Oberyn come from though?! (Kicking off this Universe like I should've ages ago)
Set as a gigantic modern AU universe.
Spoilers: Nope.
Warnings: Nope.
Pairings: (Main) Roosa (Roose /Sansa), Stansa (Stannis/Sansa), and Tysan (Tywin/Sansa). (Side) Oberyn/Sansa for much fun and irritation XD

Deck the Halls
Chapter Three: It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Please Gods)

The alarm kept going on and on until Sansa finally opened her eyes to shut off her alarm on her phone and glance at the time.

5 am on the dot.

Pushing herself to get up, she dragged herself out of bed and headed to the room's attached bathroom. She didn't dally in there, taking a quick shower and then putting on plain jeans and a normal t-shirt. She was getting ready to cook and hardly thought it would be a good time to dress up when she was likely to get dirty.

Once she was clean and presentable, she headed to the kitchen. There, remembering what she and Tywin had planned to cook, she took out the necessary pots and pans, and then began gathering up the ingredients. She prepped a bit, cutting some of the greens and onions, though she didn't finish off everything.

She had just taken out the heavy as hell turkey from the huge refrigerator, and moved to take on the just as heavy ham, when a hand landed on her shoulder.

"I've got that," Tywin's familiar voice rolled over her and she turned her head to look over her shoulder at him, offering a grin.

"Morning, you!"

"Good morning," he nodded, acknowledging her. "Now step aside."

She moved away and let Tywin grab the ham, transferring it to a space near the turkey but with enough room between the two.

"Let's start with the ham and turkey first, since they'll probably take a long time," she suggested.

"Once they're done being set up, we'll just need to put them in the oven and let them cook," he agreed. "They can be left alone with just an eye on them, while we focus on the other dishes."

And so they got to work, Tywin briefly moving to turn on the radio in the kitchen to play music as they moved along.

They started on the turkey first and when they went to truss it (Tywin insisting it was necessary, if only for appearance), he held up the legs and she used the twine to tie them together. After that, they worked on the ham, glazing it with a brown sugar glaze Tywin had whipped up the day before and then used pineapple slices and juice to finish off the ham, putting both into ovens to start cooking.

"What soup are we making this year?" Sansa asked curiously.

"Toscana," Tywin replied. "Thank you for chopping the onions and crushing the garlic already."

"We always use onions and garlic, so I thought they'd be a sure thing," she smiled brightly. "What else do we need?"

"Kale, baby potatoes and ground sausage," he was already separating the ingredients she'd pulled out that they needed.

She accepted the kale and potatoes, rinsing them off before cutting up the kale finely and then the baby potatoes in half, while Tywin sauteed the sausage, garlic and onions together and then adding evaporated milk and water to start in on creating the broth. She then began working on the seasoning mix they were going to use for the steaks.

He scooped a spoon to capture some broth and blew on it lightly and then held it up to her.

"Here, taste," he said and she leaned up a bit to take in the mouthful.

She licked her lips. "I like it, though maybe a tinge more chicken bouillon."

She pinched a bit and sprinkled into the broth, where he stirred it and then tasted it, nodding in satisfaction.

"Yes, much better," he agreed.

"Ah, taste the seasoning," Sansa said and he pinched some of it to place on his tongue and savored it.

"I'm partial to a bit more spice, though I know Robert can't handle the heat," his lip curled.

Sansa giggled. "Well, I can set aside some of it and add more to that mix for you."

Tywin briefly smiled before it disappeared. "Thank you. Aside from that though, it's good. We'll have to remember the mix, so we can use it in the future."

Pleased, Sansa went for the steaks so she could start seasoning them, and then they were back to work, cooking quietly together and feeling rather at peace.

It was strangely harmonious in the kitchen with these two.

It made Sansa smile widely to herself. Who would've thought? Especially given her strange cooking partner. The Old Lion himself.

It was strange enough that he cooked, but stranger still that he was cooking with her and for a family dinner. It was an even stranger thought that this had become a common staple for a few years now.

Then she heard him quietly humming to the Taylor Swift song playing in the background and nearly laughed aloud at the surreal situation she'd found herself in.

Tywin glanced at her and gave her a raised eyebrow, that was belied with a soft smirk. It was further compounded as he swept over to her, and took her hand, tugging her towards him and pulled her into a hold —leading into a dance in the middle of the kitchen.

"Can I go where you go?
Can we always be this close forever and ever?
And ah, take me out, and take me home
You're my, my, my, my lover~"

It was a thought to know that no one was actually privy to this side of Tywin Lannister.

Jaime yawned, but his scowl remained fixed on his face and his hands fumbled to tie the rope together, the sign he sloppily put together struggling to stay up and stay in the middle of the entrance to the kitchen.

Beside him, Tyrion nursed a cup of coffee before going over for a refill at the conveniently placed table of refreshments to the wall at the far end of the room.

"Why are you blocking the entrance to the kitchen?" Stannis, Robert's younger brother, asked him irritably.

Jaime looked over to him, refraining from yawning tiredly again. His scowl deepened (though he grumpily tried not to think of this guy and Sansa and the library).

"Yes, we'd like to procure some coffee," Roose Bolton said next, impassive face revealing nothing.

Jaime looked over to him next, remembering the rumor Bolton was more or less the Clegane brothers equivalence for the Starks. He doubted it. The Starks were too bloody honorable.

"Coffee, juice, and water is over there," he said blandly, pointing over to where his brother was, Tyrion grumbling under his breath to himself.

"Why are they there? What's wrong with the kitchen?" Stannis questioned, scowling at him.

Jaime huffed but Sansa's brothers were thankfully coming into the room.

"Ah, they're already in there, are they?" Robb directed to him and he nodded.

"They've already locked us out!" Tyrion shouted disgruntled. "Honestly! Father set all this out so we won't even need to come into the kitchen! And they're so damn domestic, it's disgusting!"

Jaime huffed again, knowing it was true. And they were utterly domestic whenever they cooked together; it made him mentally pout like a child.

"Tywin did that, eh?" he heard Robert say next, the fat bastard stumbling into the room half asleep. "Tch, of course the kitchen is already off limits."

"What do you all mean? What's going on?" Bolton asked.

Thankfully, Jon took pity on the man and Jaime focused on tiredly finishing up his makeshift block. He was a good son. He could bloody help out somehow!

"You haven't been to the past gatherings, so you wouldn't know, but Mr. Lannister and Sansa usually take over the kitchen to cook Christmas Eve's dinner. No one in or out of the kitchen but them," Jon explained. "Though this is the first year that they're got refreshments set up outside of the kitchen."

"You mean we can't even use that excuse to go into the kitchen?" Robert asked in dismay, more awake now.

"To be fair, one or eventually all of us go in to try to sneak a taste," Robb pointed out in amusement.

"And I'm setting up this block so no one goes in and interrupts 'Father and Sansa's cooking time,'" Jaime even added the quotation marks, successfully finishing his block. "Besides, I don't want to be on the receiving end of their temper for disturbing them."

"You know…I don't actually know who's scarier —Father or Sansa," Tyrion said as he came back over with a new cuppa. "You and I both know that Father's temper is scary, but Sansa is surprisingly…"

"Terrifying," one of Bolton's kids said with a shiver, both of them entering into the room as well.

"Very true," Jon said with Robb nodding beside him.

"Remember that one time she lit Harry Hardyng's car on fire because —"

Whatever Robb was going to say was cut off as Sansa appeared in front of Jaime's block, glancing at him blankly, before holding out a stack of plates.

"Robb," she said and her brother quickly walked over and grabbed the plates. "Start setting up the table please."

"Yes," Robb said hurriedly and rushed off as fast as he could with his fragile cargo.

"Jon, utensils," she said and her other brother came closer while she briefly disappeared and reappeared with a bunch of them. Jon took a bunch, but there were still a lot so while he left with his stack, Sansa leveled a look at the Bolton boys, who both hurried over and quietly accepted their load and disappeared after the other boys.

Then she looked around the others left, before narrowing her eyes.

"I should hope that you all will steer clear of the kitchen. We're not done yet."

Then she turned her back on them and went back in.

"I CAN'T EVEN GO IN THERE TO PRETEND TO GRAB WINE!"

Tyrion shouted, glaring in the direction of the kitchen.

Everyone pointedly ignored the iced casket holding bottles of wine, Tyrion's name taped right on front of it.

She thought it could've gone worse. Really.

At least there hadn't been any fist fights.

Although, if she was being honest, that had been a really close call. She could've sworn Robb would've decked Joffrey one, and Cersei had actually moved to slap Robert before Jaime had hastily grabbed onto her and moved her away.

There was Robert's insistent claims that he was 'Ned's only, real best friend' and had pointedly looked at Roose at that. Thankfully, Roose took it in stride and just calmly dug into his food, only giving Robert one long cooled look.

And don't get her started on Ramsay's inappropriate remarks that made Shireen and Myrcella gasp and blush in shock, but also earned the fury of Stannis, Renly, and Jaime, and the darkest look from Roose she'd even seen.

Ramsay grabbed his plate, plied as much food as he could on it, and fled to his room.

She dearly hoped he locked it behind him before she herself came to knock him one upside the head.

A nudge from her right made her look over and see Tywin discreetly smirking at her.

"It could've been worse," he told her under his breath.

"Yeah?" she asked sarcastically.

"Could've been a food fight like last year."

She thought about that and cringed. Yeah, he was right about that.

In that case, she could be relieved that Christmas Eve dinner at the annual Stark-Baratheon-Lannister 'family' gathering wasn't a disaster.

Robb inhaled deeply, enjoying the smells of the food in front of him. As always, Sansa and Tywin had cooked up a delicious feast for everyone and he was looking forward to digging in, especially since he'd been unable to sneak in a taste like he had every year before.

What with the two cleverly providing refreshments outside of the kitchen, there was no way anyone could go inside the kitchen and feign needing something (only to be sampling the goods in reality).

Robb had had so many regrets earlier that day. So many.

But now everyone was seated and ready to eat, salivating to start Christmas Eve dinner for this bizarre collection of a 'family'.

"I am so glad and lucky to be the absolute best friend of yours, Ned," Robert said loudly, cutting into the ham. He stared solidly in the direction of Roose, who Robb was relieved to find his normal impassive self. "So very damn thankful to have you and your family as part of mine. And being your best friend for it."

Jon choked on his drink.

Thankfully Roose said nothing, despite the continued stare, while Robb's dad looked on uneasily, putting on a strained smile for Robert. His mother looked exasperated.

"It's not fucking Thanksgiving," Cersei scoffed, making Robert glare at her.

"Would you, for once, not be a black hole of darkness and despair?" Robert growled, making her bristle.

That…was actually a rather creative insult, Robb conceded. Though why were these two still married?

"Well now," Sansa interrupted cheerfully. "I hope everyone enjoys the food."

"Probably fucked it up and made it taste like shit," Joffrey spoke up with an ugly sneer. "You probably forced Grandfather to do all the work and was a bossy bitch in the kitchen."

It went absolutely silent at that moment, and Robb knew Joffrey knew he'd messed up as the entire table turned towards him with rather murderous eyes. Even Cersei, who spoiled and took her son's side always (though she had a weird fixation on Sansa, so that made things stilted on those arguments), was focused on her headache she was muttering about (though it might be feigned, considering she'd opened her eyes to see the situation and then closed them again once she saw nothing had changed).

Sansa, his sweet sister, had ducked her head and averted her eyes to her empty plate, while Tywin (who had, as usual and as custom over the years, placed her on his right in a place of honor) looked absolutely furious at his grandson.

And, to Robb's confusion, he realized he'd had his arm pulled back and hand formed into a first, distantly thinking he was just about to deck Joffrey. Whoops, oh well.

He was just about to follow through with the motion when Jaime cut in.

"Joffrey, I suggest you get your food and leave the table," the blond man gritted his teeth, glaring at his nephew angrily.

Joffrey rushed to do as he was told.

"As your best friend, Ned," Robert started in again, casting a dark glance at Roose, who patiently said and did nothing in retaliation. "I'm sorry for my son's behavior. And to you, my sweet Sansa," he directed towards his goddaughter. "Never mind him! Doesn't know a thing about women! Not like me!" He started chortling loudly.

Cersei apparently had enough and had raised her hand to slap Robert, only for Jaime to be quicker and grab her arm in a panic, smoothly transitioning her into his old seat and sitting himself in Cersei's former one.

Everyone stared a moment before someone at the table coughed and someone else interrupted the awkward silence.

"Let's dig in!" Arya said enthusiastically, scooping up some of the soup into a bowl for herself.

That broke the tension and everyone began to finally get into the food.

"As Ned's only, real best friend," Robert cast a dark look at Roose, "I say what a talented young woman, your Sansa is!"

"Yeah, talented in all areas, including the bedroom," Ramsay cackled. "I mean, talented as she is, no way she's not," he winked at her, who just gave him a deadpan look back.

Robb gave him an askance glance, but he (as all the Stark siblings) knew Ramsay was raving mad and prone to being inappropriate whenever he wanted.

But then Shireen and Myrcella, the two of the youngest at the able, were blushing and gasping —and maybe there's a time and place for Ramsay's weird remarks, but it was really too late now.

Though Robert was half wheezing and glaring, torn between enjoying the bawdy humor and being overprotective of his goddaughter and his daughter's chaste ears, Renly, Jaime, and Stannis looked ready to storm over to Ramsay and teach him a lesson.

Roose was just scary though, and that was all Robb had to say on that.

Ramsay cleared his throat, realizing his position, and stood up abruptly. He, though, refused to leave without a crap ton of food, which he rapidly piled onto his plate, creating a mini-mountain before running away from the table.

After that, things finally calmed down and people began to fill their plates and eat in earnest. For a full handful of minutes, things were at peace.

Robb had even caught a small moment between Tywin and Sansa that he tilted his head at, before mentally shrugging and smiling to himself.

"Ned, I am your real best friend, right —"

"For Seven's sakes, shut up!"

And Cersei reached across from her twin to toss her wine into Robert's face, who childishly retaliated by grabbing some of his mashed potatoes and smooshing it into her coiffed hair. Some of the wine and mash dripped onto Jaime's blank face, the poor man having been caught in the middle.

"Food fight!" Arya screamed in delight.

Robb grimaced. Not with his plate of wonderful, damn good food!

Started 1/7/20 – Completed 1/12/20 (2/9/20 edited with extra scene)

Omake! IV

"Stop cackling!"

"Says the one laughing like a madman!"

"Pfft, every lifetime, these people never get along. They might as well murder each other all over again."

"We tried."

"There is no fixing these people."

"Don't be exasperated —you know you love it. They're all insane and we're all entertained by it."

"Sansa's got a veritable army of suitors~"

"And Ramsay is kind of funny like this. Haha, this is the best version of him!"

"Hmm, though I'm surprised so little of them —what with a big group —can't contribute to the cooking."

"Oh, they've tried."

"Yes, apparently Cersei almost burnt down the entire kitchen, Jaime the stove, Tyrion drank and watched and made snarky comments the whole time."

"That's not counting how Renly volunteered and kept fussing about the appearance of the dishes to focus on actually cooking and the taste, while Robert had no finesse. Not bad on a grill though —er, well better at the marinating; Ned's the griller. Catelyn's good with organizing, but used to having meals cooked for her, so not much of a cook either. Arya ate more than she cooked, Bran just read out recipes, and Rickon wasn't helping at all and thought he was there to taste test everything."

"Rob and Jon weren't too bad though. They tried. Rob had potential with the cooking, if only because he could follow directions. Couldn't, for the life of him though, cook on his own. Not interested in it either —prefers to eat their food. Jon was a mess surprisingly. He got frazzled in the kitchen?"

"Sansa and Tywin are rather intimidating in the kitchen."

"Well said!"

Started 2/9/20 – Completed 2/9/20

A/n: Second to last chapter! Almost done with this mini-ficlet~

Quick Points:

1. Current GoT Fics: Her Song of Fire and Ice (SansaxRoose/Stannis/Tywin), A Red King Bowed (Roose/Sansa), and March to My Heartbeat (Stannis/Sansa). Also Deck the Halls, to get started on that 'verse~

2. Ramsay's cracked in the head, no matter what 'verse XD Just in a different way this time around lol.

3. Tyrion needs more coffee. Or finally drink some wine. Or just be allowed to go into the kitchen and snack on the food TySan is whipping up XD