The Following Trailer Is Rated NFM For No F##king Mercy!
You've suffered through Supergirl, Batwoman, Black Lightning, and the ever decreasing quality of Arrow, Flash, and Legends Of Tomorrow. Now, the time has come for the groundbreaking crossover that will unite the shitiest superhero shows ever assembled in a colossal clusterf##k of universal proportions!
Crisis On Infinite Earths!
After years of build up, multiple TV shows, and the biggest crossovers in television history, experience the moldy leftovers of Avengers: Endgame in the most disappointing adaptation of an era defining comic since the 2007 Superman: Doomsday flop.
The Crisis is finally upon us, and I don't just mean the Infinite Crisis threatening the existence of the multiverse. I mean the crisis of having the CW's extensive list of painfully bad actors and annoying, unlikable characters sharing the screen for an extended period of time. Which, I believe, can be scientifically proven to be as great a threat to the whole of existence as the immortal cosmic destroyer seeker to erase the entirety of natural life.
Meet the Paragons, seven "Heroes" destined to save the universe whom embody the virtues of humanity. A full five of whom you won't give a shit about because the only thing they represent is how far the CW has its head up its own ass.
Together, these losers and whatever side characters were randomly selected to survive must defeat the Anti-Monitor. In the comics, he was an omnipotent god who could take on the combined might of the DC multiverse. In the CW, he's a bipedal naked mole rat in a cheap life support suit who gets his ass kicked by White Canary and Batwoman. Jesus.
But don't fret. If you're worried that there is almost nothing in this historic crossover for you to be emotionally invested in, enjoy click bait cameos from Tom Welling and Kevin Conroy that exist for the sole purpose of hyping you up before dropping you faster than a blind date at a chastity convention.
So strangle those lingering crossover expectations Avengers: Endgame left you with, and witness the last hurrah of the once great Arrowverse, now reduced to a punchline for YouTubers to roast every week. Cause with Arrow gone and everyone else desperately renewing their contracts, the cringe has only just begun.
Starring:
Paragon Of Blondes- Supergirl
Paragon Of Bad Acting- Batwoman
Paragon Of Bisexuals- Sara Lance
Paragon Of Asians- Choi
Paragon Of Shovelfaces- Superman
Paragon Of Allstate Representatives- J'onn J'onzz
And For Your Viewing Pleasure…
Episode 1- The Crisis Commences
Episode 2- Now You See Tom Welling, Now You Don't
Episode 3- "Goodbye Monitor, You Looked Nothing Like Your Original Design"
Episode 4- Clash Of The Cretins
Episode 5- "CW, You Have Failed This Fandom!"
Crises On Infinite Franchises!
Do you remember when Arrow came out? All the excitement, all the potential? Then Flash came out, and the future for the Arrowverse seemed as bright as the MCU. Now look at us, left with nothing but this retarded crossover and a Justice League without Batman, Wonder Woman, or a decent Superman. But at least Gleek is confirmed, because God knows we don't have enough obnoxious monkeys on screen already.