I own nothing except my delusions.
Emma sighed in relief as David flashed his truck's lights in front of the Bug, signaling they had arrived at where they would camp for the night.
She checked the gas gage, noticing in distain how low it was, that they would need to do another run for fuel if they wanted to keep her car for their trek.
"Mom?" Henry asked from the back seat. "What's wrong?"
She turned her head to look at him. "We need gas. It's okay, we just have to do another run."
"Then we'll go," Neal said simply as he climbed out of the passage seat, leaving her alone with Henry.
"You're not gonna go out on another run, are you?" Henry asked worriedly.
Seeing the fear he was trying to keep hidden, she knew what it was from. He was afraid something would happen if she left again.
She reached back to grip his hand to comfort him. "Not if you don't want me to. I think it would be okay if I took a little break and let someone else do it."
He smiled, relaxing as be moved to climb out.
As soon as she was alone, Emma sagged into her seat, closing her eyes in exasperation.
The trip with Henry and Neal had been hell for her, her son usually able to pick up if she was upset, and Neal needling her until she snapped and said what was wrong. She was thankful she was able to hold it together through the entire trip, never hinting the internal conflict raging within her.
The kiss she shared with Killian remained seared in her mind, making her uneasy as she traveled with Neal beside her in the car. Reality had crashed around her as soon as she pulled away from Killian, making her realize she had to stop anything before it started.
It was a mistake, something that shouldn't have happened, because for just a moment, it made her want for something and someone else.
She got out of the car, going to where their group was to see who would be in each group to clear the area.
Mary Margaret approached her, her bow in hand. "You're with me taking the north."
Emma hesitated, wanting to go with the woman who was part of her family, someone to talk to, but was reluctant to leave her son.
"I'm staying with Henry by the cars," Liam said, noticing her hesitation. "You know I'll protect the lad, Emma. He's safe with me."
"Thank you," she nodded gratefully.
"And maybe afterwards, we can begin his lessons," Ian added, moving closer to join the conversation.
"With your permission of course," Liam said quickly.
She nodded, giving the brothers a small smile. "That's fine with me."
Knowing her son was safe, she turned back to Mary Margaret.
"Ready?" the brunette asked.
"Let's go," Emma said, adjusting her knife so she had easy access to it.
The women moved away from the camp into the trees, sweeping the trees for any walkers.
"Got one," Mary Margaret said after a couple miles, knocking her bow and releasing an arrow into the walker's skull.
She retrieved the arrow from the corpse, wiping the old blood onto its torn clothes to clean it before putting it back in her quiver.
"You know you don't have to tell me, but you can talk to me about whatever's wrong, you know," she said, glancing over at Emma and surprising her. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something alone, anyway, but I know something is bothering you."
Seeing Emma about to protest, she shook her head. "I know you, Emma. I know when something is wrong."
Emma sighed, knowing she did in fact want to confide in Mary Margaret.
"What I'm about to tell you has to stay between us," Emma said seriously, knowing that Mary Margaret had a hard time keeping secrets, but didn't know who else to go to. "You can't tell anyone, not even David. This has to stay a secret between us."
Knowing she was serious, Mary Margaret nodded solemnly. "Okay, Emma. I promise you, this will stay between us."
Biting her lip, Emma looked back at her, their green eyes meeting as her voice became quiet. "I kissed Killian."
Mary Margaret looked at her in shock, her eyes wide. "Oh my god, Emma. Why did you do that?"
Closing her eyes, Emma shook her head. "I know, I know, it was extremely stupid. But I felt good, and we was just- he helped me get my son back. He made me feel something, so I kissed him."
Shaking her head, Mary Margaret's voice was grave. "You can't let Neal find out. Remember what happened when he first met David?"
Emma nodded, remembering when the men had met. Emma had told Neal about David and Mary Margaret before he met them, but he had no idea how close she was to them. He was unhappy how Henry sprinted to David in excitement at seeing him, before becoming completely angry and possessive at Emma hugging David tightly in greeting. She had had to do everything to prevent a full on fight, putting her foot down that both David and Mary Margaret were permanent people in her life who she refused to sever ties with.
It hadn't just been with David that Neal became possessive over. He and Emma had fought over even some male coworkers she had been friends with, even going so far as to accuse her of affairs. She had threatened to walk away before a few times, only to be met with the threats of him fighting her for Henry, which was the only thing that made her back down besides wanting her son to have a family. Despite the rocky relationship he had with his own father, Neal could easily go to him, using his wealth and connections to take Henry away from her.
She knew without a doubt that if Neal found out she had kissed Killian, no matter that she was the one to initiate it, Killian would be in danger. She had placed a huge target on his back.
"I know," she replied in a low voice, rubbing her temple as she felt a migraine coming on. "I just don't know what to do. There's no way I can just walk away from Neal. He wouldn't do that without a fight, especially with Henry. Even now out here."
Sighing, Mary Margaret pulled her in for a tight hug. "I know why you stayed with him for all of these years, even if I didn't like it, but you deserve to be happy, Emma. Especially with how things are now." She pulled away enough to stroke the blonde's cheek with her thumb, like a mother comforting her child. "We need to have hope out here, or we have no chance out here at all. And that means finding some happiness, too."
"I just don't know what to do," Emma confessed. "I know I made a mistake, because now I can't help think of how much I want that chance."
"It meant something," Mary Margaret deduced.
Slowly, Emma nodded. "Yeah, it did. But it doesn't matter."
Pushing out a hard breath, she shook her head. "You wanted to tell me something?"
Suddenly looking conflicted, Mary Margaret nodded. "Yeah, I did. I'm, well... I'm pregnant."
Her breath escaping her, Emma looked at her in astonishment.
Mary Margaret and David had been trying for a baby before everything fell apart, wanting to start their own family. Emma was happy for her, but also felt more anxiety than she did before, knowing that it was the worst time possible for her friend to find out she was having a baby.
"When I went off on my own when we were on that run, it was for a pregnancy test," Mary Margaret told her quietly, eyes shining with unshed tears. "I didn't even really notice my period was late until you mentioned yours, and I realized then that I hadn't had one for a while. David and I were trying up until this happened, so I guess we finally conceived."
"Does David know?" Emma asked her.
Mary Margaret nodded, sniffling as she wiped at her eyes. "Yes. He's the first person I told, right after I got the results. You're the only other one who knows. I just don't know what to do. We've wanted this for long, but now- what kind of a life would this be for a baby? What chance do they have in this new world?"
Trying to comfort her, Emma embraced her tightly. "We'll get to Storybrooke, and they'll be safe. They can grow up and have a life there."
"But how long until we can get there?" Mary Margaret pointed out. "We don't have the resources we did before, and the roads aren't nearly as safe. We've only just reached the Massachusetts border. It's going to be months at the rate we're going. And the fuel won't last us forever before it's useless."
Knowing she was right, Emma nodded. "What does David say?"
"The same as you," Mary Margaret replied, wiping at her eyes. "He wants to get to Storybrooke as soon as possible so the baby can have a chance."
"And what do you want?" Emma asked nervously.
For her there was never a doubt that she would have Henry, but her situation, though still bad, was nothing compared to what Mary Margaret was facing. She knew Mary Margaret would never actually entertain the idea, but knew there could be a chance, so matter how small.
"I want this baby," Mary Margaret said without question. "I'm just terrified of what can happen if they're out here. Every time they cry, they will be putting themselves in danger."
Nodding, Emma linked her arm through hers, so they could remain together as they walked to finish their sweep.
"I really am happy that you're finally going to have a baby," she said.
"It's just that the circumstances aren't ideal," Mary Margaret finished.
Emma nodded. "Yeah. But you know me and David will be there for you through it all."
"I know," Mary Margaret nodded.
Emma and Mary Margaret were the last to arrive back at the camp, seeing it was nearly done being set up.
She noticed immediately how both Henry and David looked up as they entered, the boy smiling in greeting and relaxing as the man took in his wife before relaxing himself, seeing she was unharmed.
Noticing her son was with the Jones brothers, Emma walked over, hanging back a slight distance away to watch without disturbing them.
Killian stood beside him, showing him the various ways to hold a knife to defend himself and correcting him as needed. Liam and Ian remained with them, offering advice and contributing to Henry's lesson.
She relaxed as she watched them, seeing her son completely at ease with the men, smiling eagerly as they showed him how to move and stab a walker to take it down.
"We need to do another run," Lance said, loud enough for the entire group to hear. "We need fuel if we want to keep our cars."
Just as Lance began to look towards Emma to ask her to go, Killian spoke up.
"Liam and I can go," Killian offered. "We can be in and out quick and get whatever else we need."
"I can go, too," Mulan added. "I can give them an extra set of eyes and hands. Plus it would give Emma a break, considering what happened last time."
David nodded. "Alright. Just try to be back by nightfall, okay?"
"No problem, mate," Killian agreed, saying something to Henry and Ian before he went with Liam to their tent to grab some weapons to take.
Emma watched them load up into the Jeep before taking off, moving closer to sit beside where Henry and Ian were.
"I know I'm not trained like my brothers, but they did teach me some stuff," Ian told Henry, nodding towards Emma in acknowledgment as she sat down. "Plus I don't play with my weapons like how Killian likes playing with that hook."
"But it does work for him," Emma added. "He has to keep it around for some reason."
He shrugged in agreement.
"Anyway, how about we try a little bit of sparing to see what you can do?" he suggested to Henry. "Trust me, being able to throw out some punches and kicks always help."
"He's right, kid," Emma confirmed.
Henry eagerly nodded, moving forward to spar.
Picking her head up from where she sat cleaning some of the group's guns, Emma looked as the Jeep rolled back into the camp, cutting the engine as three figures got out of the vehicle.
Some of the others went to join them to unload what they brought from their run, taking some large red containers from the back of the Jeep.
"We managed to scavenge up some more food, too," Liam announced.
David nodded appreciatively. "Good. We can hold onto that for a little while. We actually managed to catch a deer for dinner."
Liam nodded as he helped set the gas containers in a spot near the vehicles before rejoining the rest of the group by their small bonfire.
Emma turned back to her task, reassembling one of the handguns with ease as she finished cleaning it. She grabbed another, taking it apart.
She didn't look up as she heard sure footsteps approach her, only sparing a quick glance at Killian as he crouched beside her to set his, Liam, and Mulan's guns from their trip with the others. Her defenses immediately went up, paranoid of what might happen if anyone noticed them together, even if it was an innocent interaction.
"Need a hand?" he asked quietly, looking at her curiously.
She shook her head, knowing that between his posture and his tone, he was trying to put her at ease, to not set her off. "No, I've got this."
He nodded once before hesitating, seeming to debate with himself as he cast his eyes down to stare at the earth.
Unable to help her curiousity, Emma stealthily watched him from the corner of her eyes as she continued to clean the pistol. Her movements slowed as he looked back up at her.
"When I was in the town, I couldn't help think of you telling me how you look for books of fairytales for your lad," he finally said.
She looked up, giving him her complete attention.
Killian scratched behind his ear, a nervous tick Emma had noticed.
"I don't mean to overstep, which is why I wished to inquire with you first," he said, reaching into his leather jacket and pulling out a small novel. "It was the best I could find, but I don't know how much Henry would like it considering what just happened to him. Of course, I'll only give it to him with your permission."
Taking the book, Emma ran her fingers over the cover, the image illuminated by the campfire of a small boy with a fairy beneath the text Peter Pan.
She knew Killian wasn't giving the book to her son merely to get close to her, instead trying to give Henry something to help him keep some of his childhood for a while longer, just as she was. She was good at reading people, and knew his intentions were genuine, that he was doing the action for her son alone.
Killian had done more for Henry since Emma met him than Neal had done in the six years since he had come back into their lives.
Her throat tight, she nodded. "Thank you."
He gave her a bright smile, nodding before standing up to go to where Henry was comfortably sitting beside where Killian's brothers were. Sitting beside the boy, he said something before presenting the book, earning an excited sound from Henry.
Emma smiled as she heard her son thanking him, clearly eager to begin reading.
She couldn't help glancing over at Neal, her smile growing as she suddenly felt smug at his annoyed expression. She knew she made the right decision, even if it was only to antagonize him.
Watching her son with the brothers, she couldn't help think she made the right choice in allowing them to teach Henry. Instead of Neal, Henry had often looked up to David growing up, seeing him the main father figure in his life. Having taken such a liking to the Jones brothers, it was clear to Emma that her son had found some more men to become role models.
She watched her son hanging onto everything they said for a few moments before finishing the last few guns she had left, joining the group and sitting beside Mary Margaret. She couldn't help constantly looking over at Henry, who was wedged between Killian and Liam, smiling widely, her own chest light at her son's happiness.
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