CHAPTER 5

"I have a question as well," the empath—Jasper was his name—said, and I reluctantly turned away from Edward to give him my attention. I found myself always wanting to look at my mate, and when I couldn't, I felt frustrated. "Do you have some sort of gift?"

If I hadn't been absolutely certain he couldn't read me, I would have been worried he would have sensed the nanosecond of dread that passed through me before I was able to squash it back down.

I had been aware the topic would eventually be brought up, and if not by Jasper, then by Edward, who was already more than aware he couldn't read my thoughts.

Still, I decided to play dumb. "A gift? No, I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"Because you've befuddled me ever since you stepped through the door," he said. "I've never encountered a single individual I haven't been able to read."

I shrugged ignorantly. "Well, I don't know. Although"—I looked at Edward again, instantly feeling relief when our eyes connected—"you did mention you couldn't read my thoughts outside the hospital."

"Nor can I right now," he said, but his expression wasn't the least bit bothered.

Alice made a discontented noise, and both of us turned to her. "You must have a gift," she mumbled. "I can't see your future, and Edward's is getting muddier by the minute."

That got Edward's full attention, and he locked eyes with his sister as he intently read her thoughts and what she saw in the future.

I found that little tidbit of information quite interesting as well. It seemed as if the more intertwined Edward's future became with mine, the more my block shielded him, too.

"Hm, that is strange," he mused. "It's not as if either of our futures are gone. It's more as if they don't exist. At least, not in a way that Alice can see."

"Is that a bad thing?"

He touched my chin reverently. "No, but it's different."

As he looked at me with absolutely adoring and trusting eyes, I did feel guilty for lying to him and pretending to be someone I wasn't, but I did my best to justify it by reminding myself I did it to protect him.

"The sun is about to rise, so I advise those of you who didn't sleep yesterday to do so today," Carlisle said and stood up. "I'll be in my office. This phenomena is completely new to me, so I'd like to see if I can find anything in my books."

I jumped at the opening he gave me. "You have books about vampires? Like, real books and not just fiction?"

He smiled gently and nodded. "I do. I'm a close acquaintance with the Volturi, and they often lend me books from their own personal library. Some they've written themselves, others are even older than they are."

I hummed to mask the hate I felt at the mention of my enemies. "I'd like to see those books one day … if you don't mind. I've always been fascinated with vampire history, but it's not easy to come by real books."

"I'll gladly show you once you've gotten some sleep."

Rosalie and her mountain of a husband, who I knew was named Emmett, passed behind Carlisle, and the man snickered.

"With the looks Edward has thrown at the girl for this last hour, I doubt they'll get much sleep."

Carlisle gave Emmett a reprimanding look. "Which is not our business, Emmett. I've told you that before, and I don't want to have to tell you again."

That the tall, much thinner vampire was able to make that mountain look contrite no doubt impressed me.

"Sorry, Carlisle."

"I believe it's Bella you should apologize to," he said without missing a beat. "You're giving her a very poor first impression of yourself right now."

Emmett scratched the back of his head with a very uncomfortable expression on his face. "Sorry, Bella."

A chuckle escaped Edward, and it, in turn, caused me to smile as well. "Thank you," I said even though I hadn't really minded Emmett's remark.

The room was emptied of vampires except for Carlisle, Edward, and myself, and as I rose from Edward's lap, he quickly stood up as well and placed both his hands on my shoulder as if he needed the physical connection more than he needed blood.

"Well, as I said, I'll be in my office if there's anything you need," he said, and then he disappeared as well.

I didn't tense up, but my mind started racing a mile a minute as I tried to come up with a plausible excuse for why Edward and I shouldn't go through the claiming he so desperately needed. But then, my thoughts came to an absolute stop.

Maybe the claiming didn't have to equal sex because that was my main concern. Since Edward didn't believe vampires could procreate, he would see it as beyond strange if I asked or brought up any sort of questions about protection. So my only choice was to avoid actual intercourse.

I wasn't looking forward to it because I wanted him more than I could bear.

So before he could even suggest for us to retire to his room for the day, I turned around to face him. Automatically, his hands fell to my waist.

"It's not my intent to be difficult," I said and traced my hands up his arms. "I know what it is you want us to do now and how much your body is begging your mind to just give in"—he inhaled sharply—"because I'm feeling the exact same way. But at the same time, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what's happening." I had to look away from his intense blue eyes. "I have met your family, we've talked more, but there's still so much I don't know about you"—lie—"and while I don't mind sharing a bed with you, sex isn't a step I'm ready to take today." I forced myself to look into his eyes again. "We haven't even kissed yet."

"Do you want to kiss me?" he asked, and luckily, I didn't detect any bitterness in his tone. His body, no doubt, wept over the fact that it wouldn't get its wish now either, but his mind was strong, and as he'd said outside the hospital, he would never force himself on me.

I nodded. "Yes."

He smiled. "Then go ahead."

A surge went through my stomach, a very pleasurable one at that, and I wanted to give him another taste of who I actually was. I wasn't the meek little girl he most likely thought I was after the brief time we'd spent in each other's company. I was someone who liked to take charge, and I was going to show him that.

So the hand I had on his upper arm traced up farther until it was grabbing the hair on the back of his head, and then I determinedly pulled his face down to my level and attached my mouth to his.

As my venom came in contact with his, it was as if small explosions went off in my head and all over my body, and both of us moaned loudly, not at all caring if the others in the house could hear us.

I'd never experienced anything like it before. I wanted him, and I wanted him to want me. I wished I could tell him to forget my earlier words and just do as he desired. I didn't even want him to take me to his room because I wanted everything he could give me right there in the middle of the family room.

"Bella," he breathed and pulled me tighter against his body. "What the hell are you doing to me?"

I couldn't control it. A force much greater than myself took over and engaged my fangs before I was consciously aware of it. They were already buried in Edward's neck by the time I got my senses back, but I wasn't drinking from him. I was giving him my venom, and he didn't even seem aware of how my bite wasn't painful to him.

In fact, he moaned even loader, and it was most likely his reduced human part reacting to the chemicals on my teeth that made the whole procedure erotic to him.

His modern breed didn't bite when they mated, so while he was lost in the sensations now, I knew he'd have questions about my teeth marks on his neck after.

Slowly, I unlocked my jaws and released his neck rather reluctantly, and before he could look at me, I withdrew my fangs and turned my back to him. He wasn't having it though. He grabbed my waist and pulled me back against him.

"Unless you want me to self-combust, I'm begging you to come with me to my room," he panted in my ear. "I just need to touch you."

I had barely nodded before he swept me up in his arms and ran up the stairs. I had no idea how I'd be able to avoid being completely intimate with Edward for the next couple of months. Just these past hours had been difficult enough, but then again, maybe I wouldn't have to.

Vampires were pregnant longer than humans—almost for a full year, which ensured their babies, once born, were more developed and not as vulnerable as humans—and that also meant it took longer before the mother started showing.

The anniversary of my father's death was a mere two months away. If a pregnancy occurred, there wasn't enough time for my stomach to grow.

I had to put it off for a few days though, so as to not incite more suspicion in Edward after I'd told him I wanted us to know each other better first.

None of this—finding my mate and most likely creating an offspring with him—had been part of my plan, but as it happened, I now had to work around it without much choice for an alternative.

In the end, I hoped it all turned to be in my favor.

But as Edward started worshiping every inch of my body by the use of his mouth and hands only, my thoughts couldn't have been further away from the end result.