CHAPTER 6

I crawled out of Edward's bed, not in need of a full day's sleep as I'd slept for a solid twelve hours the day before my failed search at the hospital, and put my clothes back on before making sure the curtains were effectively shutting out all daylight. I wanted Edward to have a restful sleep, and while the sun didn't do any real damage to us, we were more sensitive to its bright rays compared to a regular human, and it would disturb him.

We could go out in the day without anything too dramatic happening, but it was uncomfortable to our eyes. Before the invention of sunglasses, it was close to unbearable for a vampire to go out on sunny days.

With awe, I stared at my sleeping mate.

Such a new relationship, yet so absolute I already knew my slow heartbeat would stop if he ever ceased to exist; it was described as love at first sight in fairy tales but ran deeper than the Mariana Trench.

Reverently, I touched his cheek with my fingertips, and feeling my presence even in his unconscious state, he smiled and gravitated toward my touch. My entire being ached for him because while he had only lived a fraction of my own lifespan, his solitude had been more profound than mine.

I had never minded being alone, and Edward wouldn't be the first man I'd lain with. Whenever I'd craved physical closeness, I'd sought it and quenched that need because I had always known the odds of finding my true mate were slim.

In Edward's world, where true mates didn't exist, all he could hope for was to find someone like those in his family had. Almost all his years, apart from those I'd found where he lived separately from them, he'd been surrounded by couples, and I was certain it had pained him greatly.

Quietly, I stepped out of the room and down the corridor where I could hear movement, and when I looked through the small crack of the thick oak door, I saw Carlisle thoughtfully perusing his shelves.

"Can't sleep, can you?" he asked without turning to me, but the smile in his tone told me he didn't mind my presence.

"I didn't need to," I said and walked into the large home office. "And I didn't want to interrupt Edward's rest, so I thought I'd see if you were up to showing me some of those books you mentioned."

"You're a curious girl, aren't you?" he observed and turned to me. "Nothing wrong with it. Knowledge is the only tool we really need in life, after all."

I gave him a skeptical smile. "While I do agree that knowledge is important, it didn't do my father much good when our enemies burned down our home."

Sadness and sympathy crept into the doctor's eyes. "He wasn't a fighter then?"

"No," I confirmed and walked closer to him. "I'm not saying he couldn't fight, but he preferred other methods when it came to dealing with those who disagreed with him." I looked into his eyes. "You remind me of him in that way."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Good. It was meant as one." I reached up and traced my hands over the numerous spines. "That night, it was to our disadvantage though. They weakened him; made him incapable of fighting." My jaw clenched at the memory. "If you ask me, they chose the coward's way."

"Bella," Carlisle said softly and put a hand on my shoulder to turn me back to face him. "Few of us live through this life without trauma. It's a dark existence for sure, and all we can hope for is to find small spots of light to lead us. But don't let your past poison your mind."

I narrowed my eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I've noticed the way you speak of those who took your family from you is laced with want for revenge. I don't blame you, but you need to remember that revenge won't bring your family back." He walked over to his desk and looked at a photo of his family with unadulterated love shining in his eyes. "Edward was my first son, and as his chosen partner, you are now my daughter. I'm looking forward to getting to know you even better, and I would hate seeing you fall deeper into despair because you choose the path of violence."

I swallowed down the bitter taste of my venom and fought against my need to lash out at him. "So you're saying I should just forget. Move on and live my life as if nothing happened?"

"Not at all," he disagreed. "I'm saying you should take a look around at what you have now. What you risk losing if you don't take care." He crossed his arms casually and sighed. "I know what you're going through. I've seen it in all of my family members, but most particularly in one. My daughter Rosalie. She sought her revenge and took it, but it didn't make her any happier."

"You'll find Rosalie and I are very different people," I retorted but bit back what I wanted to say the most. How wrong he was about the revenge I needed and that it was impossible to bring my family back. The doctor had, with just a few words, effectively gotten under my skin, and I was scared he had already seen through me.

But then, I saw something that almost stopped my heart. Right there on the doctor's desk was my father's codex. The one he'd started writing around the time of my birth in the first century. I was relieved to see it remained in impeccable condition despite its age, and the page it was opened to described the workings of true vampire venom in the human body.

Not that the doctor could read it, which was evident by the papers littered around the codex bearing his notes and guesses as to what language it could possibly be written in. He would never be able to translate it though. There were no written records of that language that remained in the world today, as all of them had been destroyed by time.

The only living being in the world who could read it was me.

Therein came my next obstacle. How was I to convince the doctor to let me read a book deemed impossible to translate? He'd think me foolish since he thought I was younger than him.

I could hypnotize him again and simply tell him to give me access to the codex, but once it wore off, he'd be too confused, and it wouldn't be easy to explain that one. No, it would be better if I refrained from using my hypnotic power as long as I stayed on Cullen property.

None of my thoughts or realizations had I allowed to show on my face, so when I addressed Carlisle again, he thought my mind was still on the revenge he was advising me against.

"I know revenge can't bring my family back, but that's not why I want it, Carlisle," I said. I yearned to reach out and snatch up the codex and run, but I heard my father's voice in my head, urging me to be smart not impulsive. "I only want justice. My family's murderers don't deserve to live their lives without consequences."

He nodded. "I guess there is no way for me to persuade you to think otherwise."

"None."

"Then I only have one wish." He looked toward the general direction of Edward's room. "Don't drag my son into anything that might harm him. His life hasn't been easy, and I just want him to have a happy ending."

Now it was my turn to sigh. "You might not understand the connection between Edward and me, but I'm telling you the truth when I say that there's not a person, vampire or otherwise, more important to me than Edward is right now. I'd do anything to protect him from being harmed."

"Well, I'm relieved to hear that at least."

We fell into silence, and I slowly wandered around the room to read the titles on the spines, hoping to keep his suspicion to a minimum by not immediately asking about the codex.

"You have so many books," I mused, pretending to be interested. "How old are you exactly?" Naturally, I already knew, but I couldn't let anyone in the family know how much I'd actually studied them.

"I was bitten in 1663."

I tried to look impressed, and maybe I succeeded because he didn't press me on it.

"You haven't told us when you came to this life," he continued, and I quickly did the math from what I'd told them earlier. I also decided to once again give half-truths.

"I woke to this life over a century ago, but before my family was killed, I lived a very sheltered life, so in some ways, I feel much younger than that."

"Understandable. Your mannerisms are that of someone born in a less modern age, but your inexperience is still quite noticeable."

I let out a small laugh, and while it sounded false in my ears, it convinced him. "How embarrassing. Are you saying I act like a child?"

He laughed with me. "No, I just meant that while you're around the same age as Edward, his age is apparent in his eyes, his posture, and his way of speaking. Yours is harder to determine, but you often look insecure, as if you question your own choices."

I could have grinned victoriously at hearing how well my ploy proved to be, but I held it in as I once again closed in on the desk. This time, I didn't even try to hide that I was looking at the codex.

"What language is that?" I asked and made my tone more curious. "I've never seen anything like it before."

"I wish I knew," Carlisle mumbled. "It's one of those books the Volturi lent me, but it's written in an extinct language. I've tried to decipher it for years."

"Do you have an idea what it's about?" I asked, fishing for information on how far he'd come in his research.

Carlisle walked around the desk and sat down before gingerly taking the codex in his hands. "It looks like scribbled notes to me, and there are lists and drawings as well. The Volturi told me it's supposed to hold utmost important vampire history, so my closest guess is that it belonged to an ancient vampire who noted down anything and everything he"—he looked up at me with a smirk—"or she, could think of."

I had to admit that I was very impressed with the doctor. Apart from the language itself, he had figured out the nature of the codex, and that was far more than the vampires before him.

"But, if the language is extinct, how are you supposed to translate it?" I asked, and Carlisle once again laughed.

"That is a very good question, Bella."

He closed the codex and gathered all the papers strewn over his desk before revealing a hidden safe.

I smiled to myself when I saw him place the codex in there. It was locked away for the moment, but now I knew where it was, and it was only a question of time before I'd properly get my hands on it.