In the end, all it takes is for a postcard with a date, time, and set of coordinates written in Bucky's handwriting to show up to the Avengers Compound. Bucky sat in a coffee house in central California overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The cafe was fairly quiet, it being off-season and the midday rush having just abated. He had a hot chocolate piled with whipped cream in front of him and a chai latte across from him, having sat down just a few minutes before.

"Hey, Bucky."

"Steve." Bucky looked up at him and saw the nervousness written all over his body, the distinct fear of rejection. He took pity and quickly stood up to hug Steve.

And who was Bucky trying to fool anyway? He needed to hold Steve the same as he needed to breathe air. He could remain burrowed in Steve's arms forever, and from the way those strong arms wrapped around Bucky, Steve felt the same way. Bucky pulled away reluctantly, gesturing for Steve to sit.

Steve dropped his duffle bag by his chair as he sat down. He took a sip from the mug and smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Buck." He looked at Bucky through his ridiculously long lashes, as if afraid to look directly at him. "You look good."

"You, too." Bucky greedily drank in the sight of Steve, who once again had the longer hair and beard he'd worn when visiting Bucky in Wakanda. He was wearing his brown leather jacket over a red t-shirt and blue jeans. Steve seemed healthy and put together, and Bucky hoped Steve found him to appear much the same.

"Not worried about being recognized?"

"Turns out nobody is looking for ya when they think you're dead. Anyway, there's another Cap for people to focus on now."

The hot chocolate soothed Bucky, who was very nervous now Steve was in front of him. There was so much he needed to say, but he also wanted just to enjoy Steve's presence after missing him for so long. Small talk. Bucky could remember how to make small talk, right?

"How was your trip?" Perhaps not the most scintillating question, but Bucky knew Steve was as nervous as he was and would play along.

"Fine. Flew into Monterey with Sam, who says hi. Dropped me off here before heading up to San Francisco to see Lang and Van Dyne and hopefully a new recruit."

"New team member?"

"Yeah." Steve took another sip of his latte. "I don't know if you've met her, but Danvers has a partner named Maria Rambeau. She was Air Force. Her daughter, Monica, is possibly interested in joining the team."

"Well, if she's right for the team, Wilson will know. He's a good judge of character."

Steve hummed his agreement, but didn't say anything. Sam seemed a safe topic for now, though, so Bucky asked, "How is Wilson?"

"Getting really good with the shield."

"And Ms. Potts?"

"She told me to send her love, and Morgan is demanding you visit and have ice cream with her."

Bucky smiled at the memory of the little girl. Steve flicked a packet of raw sugar at him. "Seems like you charmed both Pepper and Morgan."

"Pepper has been really good to me, and Morgan is an easy kid to get along with."

"You were always good with kids. Your sisters adored you… most of the time." Steve paused, going somewhere in his memories. "You were a good big brother."

Thoughts of his sisters were always bittersweet for Bucky. But he knew Steve had loved them, been as much a brother to them as Bucky had been. "They loved you, too." He cleared his throat and brought them back to the present. "Have you seen anyone else?"

Steve shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "Just a few others. Fury, Wanda, Sharon, Maria… they all dropped by the cabin. I called T'Challa and Shuri." He ducked his head shyly. "Regular in-home visits with a therapist."

Bucky was grateful Steve had mentioned that last item. Sam had told him about Steve finally seeking help, but Bucky didn't know if Steve would be comfortable mentioning it to him. "I'm glad you haven't been on your own."

"How about you?" Steve turned those earnest eyes on Bucky. "Have you been alone these past few months?"

"Yeah, but I don't mind." Well, that wasn't completely true. "Missed you, though, punk."

"Missed you, too, jerk."

The two men drank in silence for a few moments. There was so much to say, so much that needed to be out in the open. It was overwhelming. Luckily, Steve decided to be as bullheaded and determined about this as any other battle he ran into.

"It kind of hurts that everyone thought I'd just abandon them. That I'd stay in the past and not care about what happened to any of you."

Bucky had known this would haunt Steve and had tried to come up with a way to explain it to him. "Your team loves you. Nobody would begrudge you trying to find some happiness. It's just that nobody is close enough to you to know that choice wouldn't have made you happy."

"Even you?"

Bucky's laugh was self-deprecating, and perhaps a little bitter. "I don't know if you're aware, Rogers, but my mind has kinda been fucked with over the years. It made more sense that you'd be with Peggy if you had the chance, rather than stick around with someone like me, because…" Bucky stopped there, because Steve knew all the reasons Bucky didn't think he was worthy of Steve's or anybody's friendship. "Anyway, your happiness has meant everything to me for as long as I can remember."

"Didn't seem that way to me these past few months." Steve sighed before continuing, "Sorry. Sam told me I had to get my shit together before I could see you again so…"

"You're listening to Wilson now?"

"Well, he is Captain America."

Bucky chuckled, as Steve had intended him to do. He waited patiently while Steve spun the mug between his hands where they were resting on the table. Steve furrowed his brow the way he'd done since he was a kid while he was struggling with what to do or say next. "I have more sympathy now for what you were feeling. The doubt, I mean, about what was real, about your memories… about me. My time in the Soul World didn't go by in an instant. I was kinda conscious? Talking it through with my therapist made me realize I'd been that way in the ice, too. And after I woke up, it was like I was only ever partially awake and nothing was ever quite real. Like everything could just disappear." He lifted the mug and held it to his cheek. "Still hate the cold."

"I love the cold." Bucky explained, "Being in cryo meant I wasn't hurting anybody and nobody was hurting me. Took Wakanda to make me enjoy being warm again."

"So, you mean there is hope for me to like the cold again?"

"There is still hope for you, Rogers." Bucky prodded Steve's foot with his own under the table. "Always."

Steve kept his foot nestled against Bucky's. "Did you ask Sam if I was in good enough shape to see you?"

"Nah. I'd never ask him to violate your trust like that. He just let me know you were doing okay."

"So, why did you decide to reach out to me now?"

"I needed time to deal with…" Bucky placed his hands over his face for a moment. The urge to not let Steve see his pain was strong, but he owed it to both of them to be honest. He dropped his hands and let the hurt show. "Loki, as you, said he'd lived in the past without altering it. That he… you… let Hydra keep me all those years."

"Bucky, no." Steve sounded horrified. "I'd never…"

"Look, I know that, I do, but… all the evidence was there." Bucky quickly wiped a tear away.

"May I tell you why I really went to the past? Because you think you know, but you don't."

Bucky looked at Steve, those eyes so sincere. He nodded his permission.

"Bruce told me this timeline would be preserved as long as I returned the Stones when and where they were taken from. But I'd grabbed an extra vial of Pym particles in 1970 because I figured something would go wrong at some point, so I had enough to make an extra jump."

Bucky knew what Steve did with that opportunity. "You went to see Peggy."

"Yeah. But not to live a life with her. I went to try to save you."

Bucky began to tremble. Steve reached across the table to hold his hand. "I gave her your location, and mine. If she rescued you, she could rescue me, but only if she got you out."

The denied Vladivostok mission request. The six month delays in Carter's life. She'd tried to save him. "But she wasn't allowed to find me."

"And she kept her promise to leave me in the ice." Steve gripped his hand hard. "So I'd be there for you whenever you needed me."

If Steve hadn't been holding his hand, Bucky would have flown out of his chair. This much devotion, he couldn't handle it. He didn't deserve it. He couldn't believe Steve had taken such a risk. Leaving his own damned self under the ice. "Jesus, Steve."

"I just wanted there to be a timeline when you weren't suffering, Buck. When I could save you from being turned into a killer."

"The US Army turned me into a killer first." Bucky held Steve's hand between both of his. "I still have nightmares from the war. And I know you do, too."

"But you were tortured and used for so long." Steve was quietly weeping now. "I'll always blame myself for not saving you."

"I know, I know."

"And I fucked it all up…"

"But you helped, too."

Steve looked up questioningly.

"The denied request to go to Vladivostok helped establish the validity of materials Pepper and Stark found after Siberia. Pepper and her lawyers used that information to get me a pardon as the longest held POW in our history." Bucky fought down the queasiness that always plagued him when talking about the betrayal by his own country. "My name was cleared after it became apparent SHIELD knew I was in captivity since the Forties. You restored my name, Steve."

Steve appeared astonished. "I didn't realize it'd made a difference. I just wanted to save you."

"But you had already saved me, more than you can ever possibly know." Bucky's voice broke. "I knew you when I knew nothing else. Or, at least, I thought I did."

"And that's why it was so hard for you when you thought I stayed in the past." Steve understood now.

Bucky let Steve's hand go and brushed his tears away. "This past year was a roller coaster ride for my brain and my heart, Steve. I needed time to feel stable again."

Steve wiped away a few tears of his own. "But you were gone for five years, not to mention ever since that fucking train…"

The two discreetly regained their composure in the quiet cafe. After a few minutes, Bucky sniffed and said, "I asked you to come here because I missed you so damned much, Stevie."

Steve's smile shone like the sun. "I missed you, too, Buck."

Bucky smiled back and teased, "Look at us, twenty-first century men working on our shit."

Steve raised his mug. "Here's to us, twenty-first century men working on our shit."

They clinked their mugs and finished off their drinks.

Bucky felt like the weight of the world, hell, the whole universe had been lifted from his shoulders. They'd had their first difficult conversation, and it was okay. He wasn't naive enough to think it was over. There was plenty more talking that needed to be done. But they'd passed the first hurdle without tripping up.

To be fair, Bucky had always known he and Steve would work things out, in one way or another, but it was a relief nonetheless. "Speaking of working on our shit, wanna see what else I've been working on?"

Steve grinned.

Bucky tilted his head down towards Steve's duffle bag and stood up. "Follow me."