I own nothing except my delusions.
Emma cast a nervous glance around the forest as she exited her tent, hating the idea of them continuing to make camps in the forest instead of immediately finding somewhere that would allow them to settle in for the winter.
The temperature had continued to drop, making it more difficult to stay warm even with their thick blankets and sleeping bags.
Besides the changing season and Mary Margaret's growing stomach, the tension in the group continued to add to her mounting stress. Henry was always with her or Killian, David, or Mary Margaret, never more than a few feet away from one of them at all times. It killed her that her son was terrified of his own father.
Neal hadn't tried to do anything else to Henry, mainly because Emma suspected that Henry was a shadow to her and the people she trusted the most with her son's safety.
Henry hadn't been the only one shadowing her, Killian, David, Ian, or some of the other men often keeping close to her on either runs or just chores around the camp. Even if it wasn't obvious, she knew they were all armed. She hated that they even felt the need to guard her, even if in reality she didn't feel completely safe around her ex.
"How soon before you think it snows?" Henry asked from her side, helping her sharpen some blades.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I hope it's not for a while still."
He suddenly pinched his brow. "We'll find some place to stay for the winter soon, right, Mom?"
She nodded. "Yeah, kid, we will. I promise you that."
She hated how much her son had aged since everything happened, how at ten years old he had to become an adult.
"So what do you think?" she suddenly asked in a teasing voice, trying to lighten her son's mood. "When we find a place to stay, think you'll share a room with the dwarves?"
She watched in amusement as his face screwed up in disbelief at her suggestion.
Leroy and the other men he had called his brothers had earned the nickname affectionately because of their weapons of choice, as well as some of their personalities. Mary Margaret was the first to refer to Leroy as Grumpy, making the nickname stick. David had noted on the perfect pair they made, with how many thought of his wife as their very own Snow White.
"No way," Henry said with a shake of his head, laughing as he did so.
Emma ruffled his hair affectionately.
They looked up as the Jeep pulled into the camp, some of the people having gone on a supply run.
Emma hated having to constantly do the runs, knowing they were losing just as many valuable resources by way of gas as they were gaining if they found food. It wasn't possible for so many people to keep surviving while constantly on the road. She thought about how they would have a good chance if they were able to stay somewhere permanent, letting them start growing some of their own food.
Killian got out of the driver's seat, with Ian, Anton, Chase, and Mulan all following him.
Emma didn't go with the others to the car to unload, keeping her and Henry in their places to continue their task.
She looked up as the sound of footsteps grew louder, seeing Killian approach them.
"How was it?" she asked him as he kneeled down beside them.
"We got a good load," he said proudly. "Turns out Chase is good with getting in and out of places."
She nodded, looking him up and down, looking for any signs of weakness or discomfort. "That's good. How're you feeling?"
"Fine," he replied, shifting to sit on a log across from them. "Didn't lose my balance or anything out there."
Relief swept over her, thankful that Killian was continuing to get better.
"Before I forget," he suddenly said, reaching into his jacket and retrieving a blue book that he held out to Henry. "I found this."
Emma glanced at the cover, seeing an illustration of a girl on the cover with flowy letters above her.
"Alice's Adventures in Wonderland?" Henry asked as he read the cover.
Killian nodded. "And Through the Looking Glass. Both stories are in there."
Emma found herself inexplicably happy at seeing her son so excited.
"Thanks," Henry said gratefully.
Killian nodded, offering the boy a smile in return.
He suddenly looked over at Emma, reaching into his jacket again. "Don't worry, Swan. I didn't forget you."
He handed her an Apollo bar, making her chuckle, having told him a couple days prior how much she missed chocolate.
"Thanks," she laughed. "Maybe if you don't annoy me later, I'll save you some."
"I'll be on my best behavior," he teased back.
Suddenly feeling eyes on her back, she glanced back, seeing Neal watching her little group.
Noticing her sudden mood change, Killian's eyes followed hers, making Neal turn and leave.
"He's not happy I'm around you," he said in a low, quiet voice.
"No, he's not," she confirmed.
"I'm sorry about all of this," she said quietly, making sure to keep her back to Neal. "That you even need to feel like you need to watch me."
"If it means keeping you and the lad safe, we'll do it," Killian reassured her.
She offered him a small smile, trying to alleviate the sudden tension. "You really want part of that bar, don't you?"
He flashed her a wide smile as he chuckled. "That's completely unrelated."
Her smile turning genuine, she glanced back at the pile of weapons she had been tending to.
"Need help with those?" he asked, tilting his head toward the knives.
"We've got it," she told him.
He nodded as he stood. "I'll keep close, just in case."
Emma nodded in return.
"Oh, and Swan?" Killian suddenly said, turning back to look at her and Henry, his expression worried. "Keep warm. It's going to be cold tonight."
Nodding, she knew he would be right.
The fire was warm against the bitter cold as Emma pulled Henry closer against her, tugging their blanket tighter around them.
"You shouldn't read that anymore," she commented as she saw him peering at his book, the print barely illuminated by the low flames.
"I know," he sighed. He brightened some when he looked at her. "Did you know there's a griffin and something called a mock turtle in the original story?"
Smiling, she shook her head. "No, I didn't."
"I'm almost done with the first book," he replied happily.
Despite her best efforts, she continued to feel some slight shivers continue to wrack through her, as well as Henry's.
Deciding to try to distract him, she nodded towards the book. "So does that cat sing that weird song in there?"
He shook his head. "No. It's just really cryptic."
Emma nodded in encouragement, her eyes scanning around the fire, seeing almost everyone there.
She held Henry tighter as a violent shiver shook him, the chattering of his teeth almost audible.
Quiet footsteps let her know someone was right beside her, but she wasn't alarmed, especially when a new blanket was draped over her and her son, the blue plaid familiar.
She flashed Killian a smile of thanks, immediately relieved that Henry's shivers lessened.
He gave her a small smile in return, moving to sit near Ian.
Everyone around the fire grew tense the second Neal stepped into the circle, suddenly casting nervous his way.
Emma noticed that even Tamara looked uneasy, the other woman watching warily, having previously had no problems being around him before.
Her arm tightened around Henry as he shrunk into her away from his father, who passed precariously close to them.
Watching Neal's movements, Emma tried shielding Henry the best she could, having no idea what he was going to do. Her son's ankle hadn't yet healed from his last encounter with his father, making her scared about what Neal could try to do.
"I'm taking Henry with me hunting tomorrow," he said flippantly to her as he sat a short distance away.
Emma stiffened, looking back at Neal in disbelief. "No, you're not. His ankle isn't even healed yet from what you did to him with that walker."
"In case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly in a place where we can afford to keep babying every injury someone gets out here," Neal spit out at her. "He needs to learn to work through the pain."
"And risk something worse?" she asked in amazement, feeling anger bubble up within her.
He threw her a dirty look. "Maybe if you didn't try to coddle him so much, he'd learn not to get hurt."
She scoffed, noticing how everyone was silent, watching their exchange with nervous energy. "Funny, cause at least he's safe when he's with me. Every time you have him, something happens."
He suddenly stood up, standing right in front of her. "The fuck do you mean?"
It was less his challenge and more the need to protect her son that make her stand to shield Henry, exposing her to the cold as she left the blankets behind with him.
"You know exactly what I'm saying," she said. "Neal, every time he's been with you, something's happened. You left him alone and he was kidnapped by that psycho kid, then you threw him to a walker. I'm not about to let you take him-"
Before she could react, pain bloomed along her left cheek, having been struck by him.
She had been hit before, it came as a hazard of the job working bail bonds, so she knew how to fight back. It became second nature for her to be prepared for a fight, but the father of her child striking her was different.
She didn't move to retaliate, too stunned that Neal actually hit her.
The stillness was broken as bodies suddenly shifted, the sounds of weapons being drawn filling the silence, including the noises of guns being unlocked.
Looking up, she saw Neal breathing hard in anger as he stood frozen, the barrel of a pistol pressed to his temple.
"Get away from her," Killian growled in a deadly voice filled with a cold fury, his blue eyes flashing in a rage unlike anything Emma had ever seen before.
When Neal didn't move, he pressed the gun deeper, making the other man crane his neck to the side.
David held his own gun at the other side of Neal's head, not touching him, but at a distance impossible to miss. His voice was similar to Killian's. "Move. Now."
Swallowing, Neal raised his hands in surrender before stepping back. Both of the men kept their weapons directly on him, even when he moved to the other side of the fire.
Ignoring how the cold air was making her cheek sting, Emma noticed too late that Henry had been amongst the rest of the camp to get up, moving slightly in front of her in an attempt to protect her, as well as Killian, who shifted so that he was standing protectively in front of them.
Mary Margaret rushed over as soon as Neal was away, gently pulling her arm to lead her away from the fire.
"C'mon, Emma," she said in a low, strained voice. "I want to take a look at that."
Emma stood frozen before Mary Margaret tugged on her again, making her follow.
Henry followed right behind them, refusing to leave his mother.
Leading them to her and David's tent, Mary Margaret closed the flap behind all of them, sealing them off from everyone else. She turned on one of the solar lanterns they kept to illuminate the area, carrying it over to one of the cots.
Finding it difficult to move, Emma faintly realized she was going into shock.
"Mom, are you okay?" Henry asked, scared.
She forced herself to nod. "Yeah, kid. I'm fine."
Mary Margaret snorted as she pulled her over to a chair, making her sit down.
"This is gonna be a nasty bruise," she muttered as she examined her cheek.
Letting Mary Margaret prod at her, Emma heard shouting from outside, but couldn't make out what was being said.
"What's gonna happen?" Henry asked worriedly.
Emma exchanged an uneasy glance with Mary Margaret before answering. "We don't know."
"He can't stay here," Henry replied, pinching his forehead in a way that made him appear decades older than his true age. "Mom, he's dangerous."
Before she could respond, they looked towards the entrance of the tent as multiple people filed in.
"We need to have a meeting now," David said as he came in. "Anton and his brothers are guarding Neal right now."
"Henry, why don't we go out?" Ian suggested from his spot close to the entrance. "We should go keep Mulan company."
Henry looked at his mother, unsure.
"It's okay, kid," she promised him, knowing that Ian and Mulan wouldn't let anything happen to him. "Go on out."
Slowly, he nodded as he moved away from her.
Ian held out a hand to rest it on Henry's shoulder. "I think we can splurge in the tent if you want and turn on one of the lights for a bit if you want to read some more."
As they left, David moved to stand near Mary Margaret, with Lance and Leroy moving around to allow each other more room. Killian immediately went to Emma's side, taking a stance not dissimilar to David's protective stance beside his wife.
"We need to get him out of here, now," Lance said immediately. He looked at Emma as he spoke again. "Emma, I'm sorry, I know he's Henry's father, but it's not safe with him anymore."
"What's he gonna do next?" Leroy asked. "He's already hurt the kid, and now this? What next? Is he gonna try to kill someone?"
Emma's eyes moved to Killian, suddenly feeling sick.
His eyes met hers, silently questioning her.
Knowing they didn't have many options, she nodded, letting him know they should tell everyone else what Neal had done.
"He already has," Killian spoke aloud. "He tried to kill me that one day. He did kill Liam."
Both Lance and Leroy's eyes went wide.
David sighed. "So it's true then."
Killian nodded. "Aye. I don't remember all of it, but Neal was there right before we were surrounded and he struck me in the head and shot Liam."
"So this guy already has a body count?" Leroy nearly yelled out in disbelief.
"We weren't sure before," Mary Margaret defended.
"The problem still stands, what are we gonna do with him?" Lance asked.
"We either leave him somewhere or kill him," Leroy said. He looked around the tent at everyone else. "Or are one of you going to suggest another option?"
"I don't think we have much of a choice," Mary Margaret said bitterly.
"So how are we gonna do this?" David asked. "Tie him to a tree and leave? Or just put a bullet in his brain?"
"I vote the bullet," Leroy said.
"Considering what he is to Emma, shouldn't she get to weigh in on this?" Killian suddenly asked in annoyance. "You all said it yourselves. He's her ex, and her son's father. This affects her and Henry more than anyone."
All eyes suddenly went to Emma expectantly.
Swallowing, she shook her head. She knew what they wanted, even Killian, though his was justified more than the others.
Despite all of her previous wishes, she didn't know what she wanted, aware that a man's life was at stake. She felt that no matter what she said, she would be pulling the trigger herself, even if she wasn't the one carrying out the act.
She knew the world they were in, but for some of the members of the camp to call for the death of another sickened her even with the circumstances. She understood Killian's desire, walking a thin line between justice and revenge for Liam, and even David and Mary Margaret, the both of them wanting her and Henry to be safe, but the others just wanted blood.
She wasn't mad at Killian for pointing out how much of the choice was hers, but wished he hadn't.
"I don't know," she said.
Leroy released an exasperated noise as David sighed.
"Emma, you know he's dangerous," Lance reminded her. "If we leave things how they are now, we risk-"
"I know!" she snapped. "Don't think that I don't. I know what he's done so far. You want me to condemn a man to death."
Leroy suddenly turned on Killian. "And why aren't you saying anything? He killed your brother. You lost a hand because of him."
"Believe me, I want him dead," Killian hissed. "But going out there right now and just shooting him will be a huge mistake. We have everyone else to think about. It would be too dangerous."
"Says the guy that was just holding a gun to his head," Leroy said in disbelief. "You were just one second from pulling that trigger."
"I wanted to," Killian said darkly. "But I didn't."
"So the both of you just say not to do anything?" Leroy asked, looking between him and Emma.
"No, they're not," Mary Margaret said, cradling her stomach nervously. "And they're right. As much as I think he deserves it for everything, we can't just go out there and do it now."
"We just need to think about this," David said, forcing to keep himself calm. "Tomorrow, we'll put it up to the entire camp to vote."
Faintly, Emma made out some raised voices from outside the tent, making her furrow her brow as her gut grew uneasy.
"The hell's going on out there?" David muttered as he moved to leave the tent.
Moving to quickly follow, Emma saw outside most of the people of the camp were dispersed, with them looking towards the black forest beyond.
"What happened?" David demanded in a loud voice.
Anton rubbed at his reddened jaw as he looked back toward them. "He just took off. We tried to stop him but he fought us."
"So he's gone?" Mary Margaret asked.
Chase nodded as he picked himself up off the ground. "Yeah. He just started booking it towards the trees. Do we go after him?"
Everyone was silent, waiting for an answer.
"No," David finally said. "He knows what will happen if he stays here. He knows he has a chance out there."
Even with most everyone else looking angry, Emma couldn't help feeling herself relax, knowing that Neal's own self preservation would be his priority above all else, meaning he wouldn't return. She didn't have to make the decision how to condemn him. She wouldn't be responsible for his death.
"We should leave," Lance said from beside David. "Now. If we wait til morning, he might try to do something."
David nodded in agreement. "Pack up now."
People began scurrying around, heading to their respective tents. The surprise of how fast they were able to pack the cars wore off on Emma, the group having on occasion had to leave immediately.
Like the others, she had her and Henry's belongings packed quickly, storing them in the Jones brothers' Jeep, knowing that Henry would want to ride with them.
The camp completely packed, Emma climbed into the front passenger seat of the car, Ian going to the back seat to try to get some rest. Henry immediately curled up with a blanket, stuffing a pillow behind his head to sleep as Killian pulled the car out into the line with the others.
Only a short amount of time had passed before the sounds of Henry and Ian's breathing evened out in the back, alerting Emma that they had managed to fall asleep, leaving her in silence with Killian.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to him. "About all of this."
"Why?" he asked in disbelief, keeping his voice low.
"That you were put in that position," she said guiltily.
He looked at her incredulously before returning his eyes to the road. "Are you serious? He hit you, Swan. He was about to do it again."
"I know, but still," she muttered, turning her head to look out the dark window. "I'm not your problem."
He sighed, making sure to keep his gaze anywhere but on her.
"Why do you care so much?" she asked, voicing the question that had been on her mind for a while.
She heard him release a heavy breath, keeping quiet for a beat before he spoke. "Milah. She's part of the reason."
Gathering what courage she had, she looked over to him, her mind drawing up the ink on his forearm. "The woman whose name you have tattooed?"
He nodded. "Aye."
She quietly waited for him to continue, feeling like she was uncovering more of what made up the man beside her.
"Milah was older than I was," he said. "I met her when I was nineteen, and she was thirty. I met her in a pub, and I was immediately taken by her. We began meeting, and before things became serious, she told me she was married, and that she wanted out of it, that her husband was a right bastard.
"Finally, one day he came after her piss drunk when we were out," he continued. "As you can guess, we got into a fight. Left me with this."
He lifted his blunted wrist, touching the steel hook to just below the scar on his right cheek.
"What happened?" Emma asked quietly.
"He threatened the both of us, but I helped Milah get out," Killian replied. "It was hard because I was in the Navy, but we made it work. We were in love and happy together."
Finally understanding Killian's protectiveness, she nodded. He would have become involved no matter what.
Knowing that their relationship didn't last, Emma forced herself to speak. "What happened to her?"
"She died," he said quietly, his voice taking on a mournful tone. "It was an accident, something completely unrelated."
"I'm sorry," Emma whispered.
He shook his head, finally looking at her. "It's not your fault. I wish that we had more time, but she was happy."
She nodded.
"What he did was unforgivable," he said. "I don't regret what I did."
Emma's voice was faint as she spoke again. "Thank you."
Killian's eyes softened as he looked over to her, understanding it was for more than him stepping in.
"Get some rest, Swan," he said gently.
She shook her head. "No. I feel bad about leaving you alone to drive."
Giving her a small smile, he shook his head. "I'm fine, love. Just rest. You've had a long day, and you're safe now. You and the lad."
Somehow his reassurance was all that Emma needed to close her eyes. Her last thought before she slipped under was that Killian hadn't told her his other reason for why he cared.
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