Chapter 9: Doe & Stag

Release. And catch.

Release. And catch.

There was a rhythm to James' movements as he played with the snitch. One that was interrupted as Sirius sat down next to him.

"Alrigh' Prongs?" Sirius slapped James on the back, forcing James to flail to reach for the snitch.

"Yeah, 'm'alright." James put the snitch in his pocket, sighed, and stretched out on his back, fingers picking at the rug beneath him.

Sirius barked a laugh. "Right, well your mumsie needs us in the kitchen. Says she wants to know what we'd like for dinner."

James sat up with a huff and grabbed Sirius' hand to pull him up. Just as he straightened, James felt a burning pain from his pant leg. Reaching into his pocket, James pulled out the offending pendant. It was a copy of the one James gave to Lily at King's Cross, but this one was pulsing hot. Both boys looked curiously down at the pendant. "Tell mum we're having company." James said before dashing outside to apparte.

James re-appeared on the stoop of a beige semi-detached house in Cokeworth. Startled to find Lily sitting inches away from his feet, he hopped backwards and toppled into the hydrangeas. Lily clasped her hand over her mouth in surprise. It was then James noticed Lily's tear streaked face and bloodshot eyes. "Lily-" James started as he pushed himself up. Lily quickly swiped tears from her cheeks and reached out to James, pulling him down next to her on the stoop. "Lily," James tried again but Lily shook her head to silence him, keeping her gaze fixed on the pendant James gave to her on the train platform.

"I realize this isn't exactly an emergency," Lily traced the pendant with her finger. Her voice was hoarse. "But I really wanted to speak with you."

"Anything you need, Lily. I am here." James looked imploringly down at her, but her eyes remained trained on the pendant.

"That night... when we went to dinner... Petunia was supposed to ask me to be her bridesmaid." Lily said, still not meeting James' eyes. "She called the morning after. Said she couldn't have a 'freak of a sister' standing next to her." Her voice caught on the word "freak."

"A freak?" James said incredulously. He leaned back heavily onto his hands. "You know, despite whatever she says, she is still your sister. She'll come around."

Lily sniffed. "I'm not so sure."

"Lily, I meant what I said. I promise I'll make it up to them. Next time we see each other, I'll make it right." James began, but Lily held up a hand to stop him.

"No, I don't think they will give us that chance. I hurt her deeply when I went away to Hogwarts. Did you know Tuny used to write letters to Dumbledore asking him to let her attend Hogwarts? Even I asked Dumbledore my first year. He just said that Tuny had her own unique path to follow. But something broke between us." At this, Lily leaned against James and rested her head on his shoulder. "It was nothing that you did. I wanted you to know that. None of this was your fault. I think she wanted to ask us to dinner just to confirm what she already knew. That we are two totally different people. Our only similarity is we happen to share the same parents."

James kissed her forehead. "I don't understand what it's like to have a sister. I chose my brothers; the Marauders. We have our fights but we still come back to each other in the end. She will do the same for you."

The two sat silently together on the front stoop, watching their breath rise in the air in front of them. After a long moment, James stood up and reached down for Lily. "C'mon then, you're coming over for dinner."

"Pardon?" Lily's eyes shot up to meet James' for the first time that day. She felt a zing travel somewhere deep inside her and resisted the pull she felt whenever she was around James Potter.

James reached out to take her hand. "We'll have a proper wizarding dinner. Let's go then." Before Lily could argue, James whisked her away.

Moments later, Lily was approaching the largest house she had ever seen. And walking out the front doors was Sirius Black with a blanket wrapped over his shoulders. "Welcome to my humble abode!" Sirius made a sweeping gesture, flipping the blanket about him as if it were a cape.

"Come off it," James laughed, shoving Sirius aside. "Lily, welcome to Potter Manor. Sirius just happens to live here."

Sirius winked at Lily and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. "I knew Prongs was going to end up kidnapping you, I see he didn't let you get a jacket, but I'm glad you at least had time to put on some shoes." He turned to James then. "Your mum is expecting us for dinner in an hour. Which gives us just enough time to play a round of exploding snap."

Lily let herself be escorted into the warmth of Potter Manor. The house itself, though vast and cluttered, didn't seem at all materialistic. The room in which they played exploding snap was a library of sorts with stacks of books and whirring widgets similar to those found in Dumbledore's office. It was full of life and curious sounds, some of which came from the many portraits of Potters hung on the walls. Most of which came from Lily's squeals, Sirius' barks, and James' chuckles as they played the magical card game.

The hour passed quickly and soon Dorea Potter came rapping at the door. "Hello Lily. So good to see you. Dinner is ready, Laney is setting the table now. Go ahead and finish up your game, your father is running a few minutes late."

The trio cleaned up the card game and Lily followed James and Sirius into the dining room. A small house elf dressed in an embroidered pillowcase was filling glasses with pumpkin juice around the oval table. As the group entered, the house elf set down the decanter and beamed up at them. "Master James! Master Sirius! Oh and this must be Miss Lily. You are our honored guest!" The little house elf curtsied neatly and led Lily to her place at the table.

"Thank you, Laney." James smiled and pushed in Lily's chair.

"Did you happen to make that bread pudding for dessert?" Sirius asked as he situated himself across from Lily.

"Banana bread pudding, your favorite sir." Laney nodded as she resumed filling glasses.

Sirius whooped, picked up the little house elf and whirled her around. Pumpkin juice sloshed all over the table cloth. Mrs. Potter entered just as Laney was toppling away and clutching her tea cozy of a hat as she went. With a wave of her wand to clean up the mess, Mrs. Potter said, "Sirius, you must stop terrorizing poor Laney or I'll ask her to stop making your favorite sweets."

"Yes ma'am." Sirius said with a salute before tucking in to the plates at hand.

The conversation at the table was light and cheerful. Lily couldn't remember the last time she had laughed so hard. When Mr. Potter arrived, it was clear that James had inherited his father's sense of humor. They laughed long into the evening. When the pumpkin juice was empty and all of the bread pudding had been finished, James stood up to escort Lily home. With a fond hug from everyone and not forgetting the blanket from Sirius, Lily walked out the front door arm-in-arm with James. Together they turned on the spot and arrived back in Cokeworth, the front light on awaiting Lily's return.

This time when Lily felt the pull, she didn't squash it down. Instead she let it ease her up onto her toes, let it guide her hands to cup James' face, and finally let it seal their lips in a lingering kiss. It wasn't one of those awkward, stiff kisses with tensing muscles and clenched hands. It wasn't one of those heated kisses either where hands would roam and mouths would clash. This kiss was relaxed, simple, sweet with just the barest touch of pressure and the tiniest hint of cling. It wasn't too long, it wasn't too short, just the perfect amount of time where the world seems to freeze and admire what Lily remembered to be one of her happiest moments.

When Lily pulled back, she met James' grin with a small smile of her own. He pressed one last parting kiss on her forehead before stepping down the stoop, keeping watch as Lily stepped inside.

"Goodnight," Lily called as she closed the door. She left it just a few inches open, her emerald eyes peeking through the gap as she waited for his response.

"Goodnight Lils." James waved and smiled. Once the door finally closed and he heard the click of the lock, James turned on the spot and returned home.

The rest of Lily's holiday was spent with her parents. Her mother was in full wedding planning mode, Petunia's wedding to be that coming July. Lily helped as much as she could, though often her mother was whisked away by Petunia who often politely asked Lily to stay home. Lily tried her best to not show how hurt she was, but her father always saw through it and was kind enough to distract Lily by pulling out some of their favorite board games. Being at home so far away from Hogwarts made Lily feel as if she were in a safe little bubble far removed from the threat of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Lily recognized that it was ignorant and naive of her to think that way, so she always kept her wand handy despite the teasing she received from her sister.

All too soon January came and with that meant the return to Hogwarts. Though Lily was excited to be reunited with her hands, she was also anxious to see James. She had received no owls over her holiday, which was the norm for Winter Hols since it was so short, but she was so sure she would hear from James after their Kiss. Not hearing from him made Lily uncertain as to where they stood. James clearly said he would wait until she made the first move. Well she did, didn't she? So now what?

Lily's parents escorted Lily to the the platform and watched as Lily pushed through the barrier with a final wave goodbye. Besides the hissing of the train, Lily noticed that things were quiet inside platform 9 ¾. Sure there was the normal hustle and bustle of loading the train, but for whatever reason the atmosphere was more subdued.

"Has something happened?" Lily asked once she had found Dorcas.

"What do you mean?" Dorcas asked, quickly stowing her trunk and following Lily aboard the train.

Lily leaned in to whisper. "You know," she raised her eyebrows expectantly, lowering her voice so the passing students could not hear, "like an attack."

Dorcas looked taken aback and was about to answer when Mary swept by. "Come along now, Marlene is keeping a compartment for us down this way."

Once reunited, the girls quickly recounted their holidays including Marlene who admitted to sneaking off to London with Amos Diggory, Mary who spent her time skiing with her cousins, Dorcas who took refuge with her family in Greece, and even Lily who indulged her brief visit to the Potter Manor.

Though the girls had much to catch up on, soon their conversations dwindled down to nothing and they sat quietly in their own respective corners. Lily pulled a blanket out from her trunk to calm the sudden chill in the air. She looked morosely at her friends wondering when they had ever been this quiet. Certainly Marlene would have some smart comment to make and Dorcas would wisely rebuttal and then Mary would step in and smooth the whole thing over. But no one spoke. They did however seem to follow Lily's lead and all started to pull blankets from their own trunks. Lily continued to stare at her breath as it rose in puffs in front of her face.

Wait. Lily looked up, alarmed. Since when did they ever see their breaths on the Hogwarts Express? She pushed up from her seat and pulled out her wand. Mary and Marlene sat huddled in their corners clearly deep in thought, but at least Dorcas looked up, her eyes alert.

Lily felt a foreboding twist in her stomach. Something was not right. "It's cold." Lily finally said, looking straight at Dorcas.

Doras nodded. "And quiet."

"I feel terrible." Marlene lifted her head from her arms, her voice quivering.

Mary remained silent but her whole body was trembling, tears streaking down her face. "Mary," Lily took a step closer, "What's wro-"

A bone chilling scream wrenched the air. Both Marlene and Dorcas shot out of their seats and Lily slammed their compartment door open. Frigid air seeped into the room and Lily couldn't tell if the black spots she was seeing in her vision were real or not.

"Expecto patronum." Dorcas whispered and a hazy gazelle bounded out from her wand tip. Instantly the room brightened and the warmth returned. Even Mary was able to take a deep shuddering breath. "Dementors." Dorcas confirmed what all the girls were thinking.

Lily blanched. She never encountered a real live dementor, nor was she keen on doing so now. "Dorcas, stay here with Mary. Mar, do you think you're up for helping me patrol?"

Mar pulled her wand out and yelled, "Expecto patronum!" A starfish ricocheted out of her wand, through the compartment door, and sailed down the hallway quick as a shuriken. "We better get moving then, Lily."

Lily nodded and followed the trail of light that was Marlene's patronus. Lily checked into each compartment as they passed to make sure everyone was safe. "There aren't enough seventh years to have a patronus cast in each compartment." Marlene said as they just instructed a compartment full of Hufflepuff 7th years to split up and cast patronuses in the compartments with younger students.

"Which is why we will have to work our way down compartment by compartment." Lily answered. Though she couldn't feel the dementor's effects, Lily could tell that they were growing closer to the source. Marlene could feel it too as her face became more strained. Soon the darkness became thick and stubborn and Marlene's patronus could no longer propel as far forward. It was as if the darkness was alive and trying to swallow them whole.

Lily pressed her face against the glass of the next compartment and scowled when she saw the 7th year Slytherins, Snape included, sitting merrily in their compartment as one of their patronuses, a fox, pranced around the compartment. Lily was about to barge in and demand that they split up to help protect the younger students when Marlene collapsed beside her.

"Mar!" Lily cried out just as the silvery wisp of Marlene's starfish dissipated into the air. The train lurched to a stop and the lights flickered once before shutting off and dousing the whole train in darkness. A cold unlike Lily had ever felt gripped her heart and she felt despair crashing down on her. A pale skeletal hand emerged from the darkness, reaching forward and latching onto a compartment door. The door rattled forward and soon the hand reached up to a hood, pulling it down to reveal a horrifying, scabby skull. The figure seemed to sniff left and right with its wide, scabby mouth, and as it sniffed Lily could feel something being pulled from inside her.

"Lily!" Lily jerked as her name was called simultaneously from two separate locations. The compartment that Lily had just spied into threw open and Snape dashed into the hallway, throwing his arms protectively in front of her. "Quickly Lily, cast your patronus." Snape muttered and quailed back from the approaching dementor.

Lily squeezed her eyes shut and tried desperately to think of a happy moment. "Lily!" She heard her name being called out again, but not by Snape this time. Instead it was James Potter. The backs of Lily's eyelids lit up in remembrance of her time at Potter Manor and their shared kiss on her parent's front doorstep. "Expecto patronum!" She cried out and a doe cantered out of her wand.

Shoving Snape's arms aside, Lily pushed her way forward to follow the doe. Just as Lily's patronus was about to head butt the dementor, another patronus emerged, its antlers colliding with the dementor's outstretched hands. Together, the doe and the stag pushed the dementor down towards the end of the train. And just past the stag, with his wand outstretched and his hazel eyes glimmering with relief, stood James Potter.

Lily wanted to run into his arms, she really did. But now was neither the time nor the place. Instead she grabbed his hand and after a reassuring squeeze led James down the hallway after the dementor. More dementors appeared, but so did more patronuses as Sirius, Remus and even Peter joined the fray as they chased the dementors off the train.

Once the lights flickered on and the warmth returned, the Hogwarts Express slowly chugged on again.

There was a buzz of subdued chatter as students whispered frighteningly to one another. Why were there dementors on the train? Who sent them there? Many faces turned to Lily and James for answers, but of course they had none. When the Hogwarts Express pulled into Hogsmeade, they were met with a large crowd of ministry officials and even some parents who had apparated to check on their children. Shrieks of relief and terrified sobs echoed off the brick station walls. Amidst the crowd was James' father placating a worried parent. Behind Mr. Potter stood Dumbledore, standing stoically and watching the students exit the train with an alert eye.

"It sounds like some parents want to take their children back home." James noticed as he walked behind Lily and her friends.

"What nonsense." Marlene scoffed. "Don't they know that Hogwarts is the safest place to be?"

Mary looked around warily. "We were just attacked by dementors on the Hogwarts express! Hogwarts doesn't seem so safe to me."

"That's just Voldemort's point, isn't it!" Lily said heatedly. "He's trying to make us scared! Of course he could never attack Hogwarts itself while Dumbledore is here. The train is the closest he could get."

The crowd in front of Lily suddenly parted as Dumbledore took several steps in their direction. "A word, please." Dumbledore gestured for Lily and James to follow him into the station. Lily and James waved goodbye to their friends and followed the Headmaster into a vacant office. "Please, sit." Dumbledore motioned to two wooden chairs stacked on the desk.

James lifted each chair and set one down for Lily and then one for himself. He watched Lily exhale slowly and ease herself into the chair. "I think it best to start with what you each saw happen on the train. Then we will need to discuss patrols and postponing our next Hogsmeade visit."

"Professor," James cut in hesitantly. "Isn't that what he wants? You said it yourself that his goal is to instill fear. We are reacting just the way he wants us to."

Lily sat up in her chair, causing the chair to creak. "James is right, Professor. "We want the students of Hogwarts to know they are safe. By upping patrols and removing privileges, they will feel trapped and scared. That's what Voldemort wants. Then his cronies will get to work terrorizing Hogwarts from the inside! Please Professor, please don't let that happen."

Dumbledore sighed and leaned his elbows atop the desk. "The wisdom of children is to be unburdened by the life of the old. Perhaps you are right. Go on to the castle, you have given me much to reflect on."

"Yes Professor." Lily stood up and reached for James' hand.

Ignoring the cat-calls and other boisterous noises the Marauders made, James ushered Lily into their own private carriage up to the castle. Lily glanced sideways up at James. "So a stag as your patronus, eh?"

James threw his head back and laughed. "Yeah, a bit predictable, isn't it. But a doe as yours? What's that about, eh?"

Lily felt her whole body heat up in embarrassment. She really hadn't given it much thought as to why a doe at the time, but now after the fact it seemed quite obvious. "My best and worst moments seem to involve you, James." Lily said. James huffed and tried to appear offended. Lily smiled sweetly at him and put her hand over his. "But really, my happiest moment was the time we, er, kissed. And, maybe, you know, with all that we've gone through together, maybe it's really no surprise why my patronus is so similar to yours." Lily pushed her hair behind her ears self consciously.

James reached out to catch Lily's hand and pulled it down to cradle it in his own. "It's not that our patronuses are similar, Lily, it's that they compliment each other. You have to be honest, we really do compliment each other."

Lily smiled shyly up at him. "I guess we do make a pretty great team."

James leaned forward and his lips grazed her ear as he whispered. "Lily, I have a secret to tell you."

Lily didn't think she could breathe, she was so caught up in James being this close to her. All she could manage was a "Hm?"

"That kiss also happened to be my happiest moment. Up until this-" and James guided Lily's mouth to his with his hand cradling her jaw. Lily's mind went blank and all she could focus on was the feel of his lips, the taste of his mouth, and how warmth seemed to trickle down through every part of her.

When James drew back, Lily clutched his hand tightly to her face. Biting her lip, she looked up at him from underneath her lashes. "So what now, Potter?"

James felt his stomach flip in anticipation. "Well, Evans, will you go out with me?"

The smile that lit up Lily's face was one that James would remember fondly for years to come. She leaned in with a tight hug around his torso and cried out, "Yes!"