As Clint found himself alone at the front of the Quinjet, he leant back against his seat with a sigh. This wasn't where he wanted to be, Tony's offer to switch with him was certainly appealing, but that would mean revealing the exact location they were heading for. He didn't know if they wanted to do that yet, taking the team there was probably enough of a trust exercise for now.
Still, maybe five or ten minutes wouldn't hurt when there was somewhere else he should be. It might do him good too, help him relax; letting tension build up while he was in charge of an aircraft didn't seem like a great idea. In fact, as the thought crossed his mind, he looked down at his hands and forced himself to relax. He was gripping that yoke way too tight.
"Barton."
Hearing Cap behind him, he turned to look over his shoulder. "Yea‒?" Then he saw Nat and couldn't look away, reaching back to press a control as he rose from the chair. Steve stood behind her, arm hovering around her but not touching, the concern on his face unnoticed. "Natasha." He bolted over to her, reaching out with his first step.
She looked lost, her eyes seeing something else and full of fear, even as his voice drew her attention his way. He could see her head swimming, she was hardly holding herself up, and that pain didn't belong on her features.
With her finally close enough, he cupped her face, tilting it up so she would be able to see him looking back. "Hey, you're alright, I'm here." He brought her head to rest against his shoulder, lightly wrapping his arms around her so she could lean on him. Once she was settled, he lifted his gaze from her to their friend. "Thank you."
Steve offered him a small smile as he noticed her nod slightly. "You're both welcome." From what he knew of her past, he thought it was fair to assume it had been far rougher than his, maybe than any of theirs, but she was certainly the strongest, so the toll this was taking, he was sure that whatever her vision had held was a hundred times worse than his. "Call me if you need anything."
Clint nodded, focussing his attention solely on her as he slowly walked her over to the seats and coaxed her into one of them. Keeping her cheek cradled in his palm, he checked on the plane, glanced out at the sky, and then crouched down in front of her. "Tasha, you with me?"
Her gaze lifted and met his, and then she dipped her head before raising it again.
"Good." He smiled. "'Cause what would I do without you, partner? Who else is gonna patch me up in battle, rally everyone together and save me? You're my hero, and no one else can put up with me the way you can."
Clint watched her for a moment, waiting for a sign of the fog lifting. Evidently this approach wasn't working, but that was okay; he had a better one.
"So it's a good job you're going to be okay, that you're safe. I need you, and luckily you are right where you belong, with me."
"Clint?" Her eyes seemed clearer as she truly looked at him now.
He beamed at the sight, and the sound of his name on her lips, stroking her hair back from her face. "There we go. I'm sorry, this is my fault, I shouldn't have left you even when I thought you were resting."
"Couldn't."
"I see that now. I just wanted to get you somewhere you'd feel safe."
"Safe… you."
He grinned again. "Glad you feel that way, but we needed a place to recover and get some sleep, and I figured somewhere familiar will only do you good."
Her brow creased as she struggled to decipher his words. "Where?"
"The homestead," he whispered. "Sturdy and reliable. I haven't told any of them where yet; once you're feeling better, we'll tell them everything, okay?"
"Okay." She nodded slowly, and he suspected that was still a few hours off yet. That might be tight on the time they had left for the flight, not exactly ideal. This hadn't been how they'd planned this anyway.
"Good, come here." He rose from his haunches, smiling softly at her as she followed him with her gaze, then squeezed onto the edge of the seat beside her. Instinctively, she leant into him, and Clint wrapped his arm around her to pull her closer. "I've got you. You're gonna be okay, you know?"
"I know." She closed her eyes, pressing herself further into him. He wondered if that was a hint that she wanted to be held tighter, so he obeyed. "You're here."
Smiling just a fraction, he brushed his lips against her temple. "I'm really glad you can feel so safe with me when you feel so vulnerable."
"I trust you... you're my..."
The end of the sentence lost, he kissed her head again. "Yeah, I'm yours."
Natasha tilted her head back, angling it so she could see his face from her place tucked into him. She smiled, then he did too; now that was a familiar look, one that belonged there even if it still felt mad that it was directed at him.
"Right back at you," he assured her before what she was thinking could be spoken and overheard.
The smile on her face gradually faded, but her gaze only left his when she lifted her chin and let her eyes drift shut.
Clint cupped her face and stopped her, holding her right there instead of pulling away. "Tasha," he whispered, pouring as much of himself into her name as he could. In her vulnerable state, nothing could come from him that might feel like rejection. She needed to feel safe and that was exactly what she was going to get from him. "They can see."
Her eyes met his again, and with some effort she shook her head. "I don't care."
Before she could lean into it again, he pressed his forehead to hers instead, the back of the chair only just hiding him. "We need to talk to them first. Trust me." Clint felt her relax under his touch once more. He withdrew, let out a deep breath to let his own tension go; it wasn't the kiss she was craving but the intimacy.
"I do."
He nodded with a smile. "Soon. Once you feel better. So try to get some rest."
"I can't."
"Try," he insisted. "Even if it's not sleep. You've been through a lot, so let your mind recover. Just enjoy the peace, rest here with me."
Pressing herself into his warmth again, Nat leant her head against his jaw. "I'll try."
"Thank you." He lifted his chin to accommodate her.
She shook her head. "Thank you... for..."
"I know," he interjected, saving her the effort of finding the words. "You're welcome. I owed you for earlier anyway."
He felt her head move against his chest, protesting that sentiment as always, and then her hand drift across his stomach and onto his right side. Placing his own over it, he guided her under his suit to press her palm against him and feel his wound gone, his skin as smooth as ever.
Leaving her there, he cradled her head then planted a brief kiss on the crown of it. "It's okay." He tucked a curl behind her ear. "We're a team."
"Always..." Her fingers pressed against his side, stroking the muscles beneath them.
"Yep." Clint smiled. "A few hours and you will be as sure of that as ever," he leant closer to her ear, lowering his voice even more, "And hopefully we'll get the chance for some proper rest, a familiar bed, curl up and just sleep." He drew the last word out, heavy on the emphasis, and was successful in eliciting a sigh from her.
"That sounds good."
"Yeah it does. So does spending those hours here with you."
She nodded. "Stay. Please."
"You've got it." He gave her a squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere until you're feeling much better and give me the okay. I told you, I'm yours."
Hours later, Clint walked down the landing of the homestead. He flicked a switch to turn off the light for the stairs, looked at the doors of the bedrooms. Most of them were closed, their residents asleep inside. Lila and Cooper had been surprisingly compliant in still meeting their bedtimes, and it had been over an hour since Laura had given in to fatigue and joined them in slumber.
He and Nat had sworn to keep the others quiet, but even she had settled in for the night. That was the room with the open door, deemed his and proven that by the clothes in the closet, but far more often than not it became theirs when she came with him. In an odd way they rather enjoyed their little ritual of sneaking in to join each other, trying not to torment a still grieving Laura by flaunting their relationship and yet wondering just how she had not seen through them. Maybe the same way their team hadn't.
This time Natasha being shaken had provided him with a more convincing reason than usual to give her his bed. Now she was largely feeling better, he was even slightly grateful for it given how much fuller the house was. It meant he got away with helping her settle in, plus after making sure the others had turned in, conveniently it would have them all thinking he was just looking after his partner. Or maybe Laura would think he was with the team, whilst they would think he was with her. If only they'd realised that she kissed Natasha just as much as she did him, or noticed pictures of another man with his arm around her. Maybe they would see the truth, someone, probably Stark, would just blurt it out, and the pair of them wouldn't be left trying to find a way to tell them without it feeling like a betrayal of their trust.
None of that mattered as he pushed the door from ajar to half open, easing himself inside before closing it behind him. Instantly he was met with the sight of his wife curled up under the covers, her eyes opening to settle on him.
"Hey, there you are." Natasha smiled at him. "Maybe we can finally get some of that sleep." Her last word was mimicking him, teasing, so he beamed back; she must be feeling more like herself.
Pressing his palms into the mattress, he quickly leant forward to kiss her cheekbone. "Feeling better?"
"Mostly." She nodded, watching him pull away to begin undressing. "It's a relief to be able to think straight again."
"I know that feeling."
"But I do still feel really..."
"Vulnerable?" he offered.
"Yeah."
"I'm not surprised." Down to his underwear, Clint lifted the edge of the covers and climbed in beside her. "Being shown the worst part of your life, reliving it? Of course it's playing on your mind. But that will fade."
She nodded as he settled in next to her, rested his head on the pillow and met her gaze. "Thank you for coming to find me earlier, again."
"I didn't feel right about leaving you in the first place, even when you swore it was fine. I could tell you still weren't feeling right. I did want to check how Laura was, that she had everything ready, but I didn't realise they'd leave you on your own."
"It's okay. I wasn't on my own for long."
"Long enough. You'd gotten worse again when I found you, getting lost in thoughts that should never trouble you again."
Nat's lips curled ever so slightly upwards. "I don't feel that way now. You were right that this place would do me good, it's somewhere I feel safe, I've been surrounded by people showing me love, the team, Laura, Lila," she lifted her hand to touch his face, fingertips tenderly stroking at his cheek, "And especially you. I know I'm where I belong. I know I'm not that girl anymore."
Sorrow brushed his features, but she couldn't take her eyes off the affection behind that, the love deepening. "You want to talk about it?" She hadn't been in the state to give details of exactly what she'd experienced, but he had established that it had centred on the Red Room and her training, predominantly the brainwashing they'd put her through. His biggest concern had been her believing those lies, thinking the worst of herself, but in the end she'd relieved his anxiety by trusting him over her fears.
"Yeah…" She ran her fingers along his jaw, drawing him closer by the chin to press a soft kiss to his lips. "But not now, not tonight." Her hand dropped to his chest, moving round to his side. Clint happily pulled her into him, curling his arm around her back so she would lay her head on him. "I'm exhausted and we both need all the sleep we can get before tomorrow. I need to be back on top form and we both need to be rested."
"You're right. Laura, the baby's due in less than a month; we need to put an end to this now so we can be there for her. Nathaniel could easily be here any day from now, and all this, we're just adding stress and making it more likely that he'll be early."
"We will be there. If we have to, we make it work that one of us, you, will come and look after them and the other will just have to do the work for the both of us. We will keep them all safe, and then I know you will take really good care of her and the baby. Your brother would be so proud of you."
Cupping her head, he placed a kiss amongst her curls. "Thank you. And I'm so proud of you for the way you got through today."
She leant back to meet his gaze with a smile. "None of us would have got through it if you hadn't stopped her. But thank you for being at my side and getting me through it, making it easier. I love you so much, and I'm so lucky to have you."
For a moment he touched her face, his fingertips caressing her jaw. "What are you talking about? I'm the lucky one."
"I mean it. I'm not the only one who thinks you're amazing; Cooper, Lila, Laura, even the baby, they know they're lucky too."
"You think so?"
"Yeah. They love you to pieces, you make them so happy."
"I try, really try. But sometimes I wonder if we just add to her worries, being who we are, doing what we do. Does she seem anxious to you?"
"A little, but I think that's expected. She's pregnant, with two children already, probably widowed… plus the Avengers are hiding in her house."
"I think it's more than that. She told me to be sure we're safe as Avengers… talked about me and her being outnumbered as he grows, becomes more his own person."
"She's just scared because her baby's almost here and his father still hasn't come back, likely never will; she doesn't want to lose us, you, too and end up raising three children on her own." She reached up to cup the back of his head. "But we won't be outnumbered. We should tell her… about us. It will ease her mind to know that she doesn't just have you stepping up for him, but also me to support you, and her, all four of them."
Clint leant closer to thank her with a kiss. "She trusts you to be there too; we're both godparents and you're his namesake."
"And I'm honoured, but she needs to know I'm committed too, that there's no chance of me disappearing on you all to go get married, start my own family."
He forced his features to resemble a scowl. "You'd better not."
This time she kissed him, smiling into his mouth and drawing it out until she settled her head back against him and felt the laughter rumble in his chest before it reached her ears. "I already found my family in you… and them."
"I love you too and I think you're right. Back then, seeing us together, happy, it might have hurt, but now, surely it can only help. Let's tell her. When this is over, we come back and finally tell her together."
Natasha nodded. "We should tell all of them really, this has gone on for too long, and introducing Laura to them… I can imagine what they think, they are Bartons."
"So are you." He smoothed his hand over her hair, palm settling against her cheek as he guided the strands behind her ear. "I don't want anyone thinking I'm in love with anyone but you. We'll tell them too, after Laura and the kids, as long as it feels safe."
Another nod, but no verbal response this time, so he kissed her forehead.
"They might not even need telling. I tend to think it's rather obvious how I feel about you, and I wouldn't be surprised if they've worked it out just from that arrow you love to wear around your neck."
There was that familiar tone, coaxing yet another slow burning smile onto her face. He was so proud of that gift, of the way her face had lit up at the sight of the necklace he'd considered passing off as being silly. Not to mention the way she'd looked at him as he suggested she might be able to wear it at times when their rings weren't as practical. In turn, she had found him an hourglass, and he had worn the tiny symbol like a medal of honour, her emblem a testament to her claim on his heart. "Like you're so subtle, Mr 'I don't have a girlfriend', looks at his wife with heart eyes."
Though unseen by her, that very same look fell across his face. "I can't help that." Then slowly he whispered to her, "It made you smile though."
"You make me smile. I love you... my Hawkeye."
He began to feather soft kisses on her forehead, once, twice, and then she closed her eyes, curling just slightly more into him. "Long day, I know." He held her tighter. "I love you too, Tasha. Get some sleep."
"Nat." Clint reached out to touch her, sliding his fingertips across her palm to curl them around her hand and keep her from following the rest of their team.
She turned with a smirk. "What?"
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
"I already said goodbye." The mischievous smile told him she'd understood completely, then she reinforced it by letting him draw her closer. "We need to go, and we're not alone."
"No, but…" Clint glanced out the door, checking on their departing friends to confirm his suspicion. "They're not looking."
She tilted her head, then turned it back into the house, she couldn't hear any footsteps. "And no family either."
"Exactly." He grinned at the consent he'd gained, touched her waist to coax her against him and then shifted his hand to her cheek, guiding her into the kiss.
With a smile, he leant closer still, whispering that he loved her and enjoying the way she beamed back. "Turns out some of your ideas aren't so bad."
His expression softened and he shook his head. "We don't know when we're next going to get the chance."
"True… and I wish we could just stay, but we really do need to get going."
"I know, but I wish we could stay too."
"So do I." Laura appeared at their side. "But those four," she pointed out the door. "They're a mess, they need the two of you to hold them together. You actually know what you're doing."
"Do we?" Nat shot a sly smile at her, earning a softer one back.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean you can leave without saying a proper goodbye."
"Of course not." She stepped forward, pausing for a split second and then reached out to pull her into a careful hug.
"I'm gonna miss you, Nat."
"We'll be back as soon as we can. Should only be a few days at the most, but whatever might be going on when this little one" —she gently placed her palm against her friend's belly— "decides to show his face, at least one of us will be here. We'll keep our promise, you're not gonna be alone."
She nodded, but the crease in her brow remained. "Please make sure you look after yourself."
"I will." The redhead smiled, genuinely this time, hoping that, beyond anything else, she could ease Laura's anxious mind before they left.
"Hey, what about me?" Clint asked from behind her, the attitude behind it telling Nat he probably had the same desire as her.
"Good point," Laura agreed with him before turning back to Nat. "Look after him too."
"I always do." She beamed at that positive sign, letting herself be drawn closer again and into a barrage of kisses.
"Oh, I love you, honey. We are all so lucky to have you, especially this one."
As she nodded her head at Clint, he smiled. "I know."
"Good." Laura let her friend go, stepping past to reach her brother-in-law. "But you'd better not be thinking about leaving without a proper goodbye either."
He shook his head. "'Course not. Wouldn't dream of it."
"Come here." She pulled him to her. "I want you to be extra careful. I love you too and I don't want to be getting phone calls telling me you've been injured again, or God forbid anything worse."
"Yes, Ma'am." He smirked, then let his expression fall serious. "I will. I'm gonna finish re-flooring that sunroom as soon as I get back."
"Yeah, and then you'll find another part of the house to tear apart."
"No. It's the last project. I promise." Having long since decided it was better to be the initiator, he leant down to kiss her before she could kiss him. Since she had the same intent, he ended up meeting her halfway, pulling back after a few quick pecks. "Alright, put me down."
She laughed, letting his face go, then turned to coax Nat back to her partner's side. "Seriously, both of you, be careful. Just... look after each other. When it comes down to it, you are the only ones going out there without super strength or a suit of armour. I'm not sure you can rely on any of them the way you do each other, that bond, that trust. I need you to come home."
Clint nodded. "We know. We love you too and we will do everything we can to make sure we're safe."
The tension was back on her features, and neither of them liked the sight. "I know what it's like to lose your best friend, and selfishness aside, I never want either of you to have to go through that."
"Oh, Laura, honey." He wrapped his arms around her, then Nat did too, both looking at each other over her back. She was talking about Barney, about her husband, did she know or was she just making the comparison because they were each other's closest relationship? "Try to get some rest, the kids have promised to give you a break, so go grab a few more hours' sleep. You'll feel better for it, and we'll be back before you know it."
"You're right. I'm probably just tired." She laid her hand on her bump. "And I need to look after Nathaniel, right?"
"You need to look after yourself," Nat reminded her. She had worried so much about all three of her children in the wake of losing their father that she'd almost seemed to forget how important her own welfare was, not just to Cooper and Lila, or even her baby. "So trust us, go back to bed. We'll see you soon."
She nodded. "I love you guys, we all do. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, we love you all too." The redhead smiled, curling her arm back around her to kiss her cheek, then Clint leant in to do the same to the other. "Bye, Laura." As she pulled away, she grabbed Clint's arm to coax him to follow. He always found it hard to leave, some unfounded guilt over his brother's apparent death, the overcompensation with home improvements was testament to that too. "Come on. We've got the world to save, then we can come home."
Clint gave her one last squeeze and whispered, "See you soon."
With that, he followed his wife's lead, leaning into her as she wrapped her arm around his waist. "She'll be alright. She's tough, you know that."
Slowly he turned his head to look at her. "I know."
To his surprise, she beamed, laughter in her breath as she reached up to touch his face. "Come here, I can't have you looking like another woman has staked her claim on you."
As she rubbed the soft pink mark from under his lip, he smiled back. "I could say the same to you." He wiped the corner of her mouth to remove the matching impression from her skin. With the remnants of the balm now left on his thumb, he rubbed it against his leg, flicking her hand away when she tried to do the same. "Stop that."
"You'd rather I left my mark another way?" She looked over their shoulders. Laura had made her way over to the railing of the porch, her gaze shifted down, away from the team boarding the Quinjet, one hand settling on her belly as she spoke to her child. Natasha took the opportunity to plant a kiss on him. "Better?"
Clint shook his head, the warmth in his chest tugging at the corner of his lips. "You left your mark on me a long time ago. How many times do I have to tell you I'm yours?"
The look on his face made her smile. "I'm always going to want to hear it one more time."
He grinned, letting the moment linger as long as he could, and then leant just a fraction closer to her. "I'm yours."
