Chapter 11: Getting Comfortable

Luckily they were both low maintenance women because they were running late. They took turns taking quick showers before getting dressed. Amanda decided on wearing black jeans and black lace top with a black bra underneath. She pulled her hair up in a messy bun and put on a light layer of make up. Chris wore a sleeveless nude dress that stopped at her mid thigh. She'd accidentally gotten her hair wet in the shower causing her to have patches of curls. Instead of straightening her hair again, she just put her hands under water and ran them through her hair, then brushed it out so her hair was completely curly. Just like the other night, they hadn't planned it but they ended up matching each other perfectly. They were the yin to each other's yang. Somehow, they just seemed to work together. Chris was in the bathroom putting the finishing touches on her look when Amanda came over and leaned against the door frame.

"You nervous?" Chris asked.

"Nervous about what?"

"About going to a gay bar...with a lesbian...as your wife?" she asked. She looked at her through the mirror for some indication of what she was feeling but Amanda wouldn't meet her eyes. "Hey" she said turning to face her, "You shouldn't be nervous. What's the worst thing that can happen?"

"I don't know. I'm not too thrilled at the prospect of being hit on all night by women who think I'm gay" she said.

"So, if you get hit on just say you're taken. In my experience, women are much more accepting of rejection than men. I've never had a woman who didn't take no for an answer the first time. And if there is a woman who thinks she's too good to hear the word no, you have me to protect you" she said on kind of joking. "It'll be fine" she said trying to reassure her. "And as for all the other stuff" she said moving closer to Amanda. She put her mouth directly by her ear, "I'll be gentle" she whispered. She walked out of the bathroom and went to the closet to grab her small clutch to put her phone, keys, id and credit card in. Amanda followed her.

"What other stuff?" she asked. She was trying to sound casual with her question but Chris knew she was freaking out on the inside.

"We're a couple, remember? That means holding hands and kissing and making people think that we're interested in having sex with each other" she said.

"I'm not interested in having sex with you" Amanda said quickly. Chris rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Amanda. You don't have a crush on me because you think I have a nice personality and that I'm a good person. You have a crush on me because you find me physically attractive" she said. Amanda opened her mouth to argue but Chris didn't give her a chance to say anything. "I know you're still working on accepting that but like I said before, you don't have to lie about it. I'm not judging you. I understand where you are because I've been there. I know what it is to have feelings that you don't understand and that you didn't ask to have; that you'd rather not have. But you have them. The longer you fight it, the harder this is gonna be". She wanted to make this as easy as possible for the both of them. Getting Amanda to accept the feelings she had for her was the first step. She was used to having no strings attached encounters so this was nothing to her. Granted, this being a co-worker complicated things just a bit but she just put that aside and thought of this as business as usual. She didn't know anything about Amanda's dating life other than she didn't date women and that alone was making this an uphill battle. She needed to figure out how to get Amanda interested in physical part of their relationship. Then it dawned on her. Amanda was far from the first "straight" girl she'd been with and it was always the same. They just wanted to know what it was like to be with a woman. It was curiosity plain and simple.

"Depending on how long it takes us to get this guy" Amanda said pulling Chris out of her thoughts, "I know it'll have to happen eventually. I just...I wish I had more time to wrap my head around it".

"And you will" Chris said. "It's not gonna happen tonight. All that'll happen tonight is some hand holding and maybe a few kisses here and there. If it helps you can just think of some hot guy instead of thinking of me. I think you'll feel better once you get the first kiss over with" she said. She stepped closer to her and put her hand one side of her face then brought their lips together. She initiated the kiss, knowing that Amanda wouldn't make the first move but thought it best to let Amanda decide if it would go any further. Amanda was caught off guard by the kiss at first, which she guessed was what Chris intended. It took a few seconds for her mind to register what was happening. She took in the warmth that came over her from their bodies being so close and the softness of Chris' lips against her own. Finally she relaxed and let her lips part. She lightly caressed Chris' bottom lip with her tongue then slipped it into her mouth when her lips parted. The kiss was sweet and gentle, just how Amanda imagined it would be. She'd never admit to Chris that she'd imagined it but she had, many times. The kiss finally ended and Chris looked into Amanda's deep blue eyes. "See. That wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked in a whisper. Amanda took a step away and turned around to hide the blush that came over her.

"We should go" she said clearing her throat, "We don't want to be late". She walked out of the bedroom and left Chris standing there. Chris took a deep breath and let it out before following Rollins out of the bedroom, out of the apartment and down to the car.

They made the drive to the bar in complete silence. Chris took occasional glances over at Amanda who was staring out the window in a daze. She wondered what she was thinking about but decided not to ask. She just gave her some time to be inside her head and work through her feelings on her own. It was probably better that way. The less Chris had to hear Amanda's feelings the less chance she had of saying the wrong thing. They pulled up to the bar with a couple of minutes to spare. Chris found a parking spot on the crowded lot and turned off the engine. She took the keys out of the ignition then just sat there, waiting for Amanda to be ready.

The entire drive over, Amanda analyzed the kiss she shared with Chris earlier. It was sweet and gentle and spontaneous and better than any kiss she'd ever shared with a man. The more she thought about it the more confused she became. How could this just come up out of nowhere? How could she go through twenty nine years of her life not knowing that she could be so attracted to another woman? It just didn't make sense to her. But Chris was right. No matter how much she didn't understand her feelings or how much she didn't want to feel them, they were there. It was time for her to accept it. She had to accept it if she wanted to do her job. She took a deep breath and reached for the door handle, pulling it and pushing the door open. Chris followed her lead and got out of the car, hitting the locks then putting the keys in her clutch. As they were walking through the parking lot the front of the bar, Chris reached out and grabbed Amanda's hand, interlocking their fingers. Amanda realized what she was doing and quickly pulled her hand away, not wanting anyone thinking they were together. She immediately regretted it remembering that people thinking they were together was the objective. Chris was getting tired of dealing with Rollins' attitude about this situation. Her fear of anyone thinking for a second that she might be gay was starting to make Chris think she was a little homophobic.

"Alright, that's it" she said angrily, "I'm done trying to be nice about this. Whatever you have going on in your head about what we have to do, you need to get rid of it or get over it; I don't care. We have a job to do. You need to stop thinking about yourself. You have plenty of time to do that once this case is over. For the time being, you need to think about Jessica and Rachel, Lauren and Isabelle, Hallie and Kaitlyn, and any other potential vics this bastard has his eyes on". She stood in front of her and waited for her to say something. Amanda took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then nodded her head. She reached out and took Chris' hand in her own and they walked towards the bar entrance. As they rounded the corner, they saw Liv, Nick and Fin waiting for them.

"Wow" Olivia said as they walked over, "You guys look great". They shared a quick glance and then looked back at their colleagues.

"Thanks" Amanda said. "So y'all ready?" she asked. They all nodded their heads and took out their ids to show to the bouncer. When they got inside they found a booth towards the back of the bar and sat down. Nick got the first pitcher of beer for them to share and they talked quietly among themselves about the case. Fin told them he'd found an apartment they could use. It would be available for them to move in in a couple days. Instead of hooking up the trap at Amanda's apartment, TARU was putting one on the wi-fi in their new place. It would all be set up before they moved in. The goal was that if the perp hooked up a video feed using the wi-fi from the building they'd be able to intercept it and see exactly what he was seeing. That information made Amanda all the more uncomfortable. Not only did she have to get comfortable with being intimate with Chris, she had to get comfortable with the idea of other people watching. Chris saw the discomfort wash over her partner and couldn't help feeling bad for her. She knew this was a lot for her to handle and as much as she wanted Rollins to suck it up and get on with the mission, she wanted her to know that felt for her and what she was going through. She took her hand and gave it a sympathetic squeeze. Amanda smiled at the gesture.

Once they were all up to speed on the most recent developments, they put the work talk to bed and took on the roles of old college friends. They were talking and laughing like they'd all known each other for years and Amanda was slowly settling into the role of Chris' wife. It was surprising to Chris seeing as how Amanda didn't even want to hold her hand half an hour earlier. She just figured the two beers Amanda had so far had relaxed her. Amanda occasionally touched Chris' hair or leaned her head on her shoulder. She even had her hand on her thigh underneath the table. That's how Chris was sure that Amanda was getting more comfortable with the idea of being with her. The touching of the hair and her head on her shoulder were both things that other people could see, outward gestures that would make people think they were together. But nobody could see her hand under the table. That touch was just for her. They'd been at the bar for about an hour and a half when a red head came over stood next to Chris. She touched her hair and licked her lips while she looked Christina over.

"Can I buy you drink?" she asked in a sexy tone. Amanda didn't know where it came from but she had an overwhelming desire to protect what was hers. Chris was about to decline the woman's offer when Amanda spoke up.

"I don't think so hon" she said with her southern drawl. "I can buy all the drinks she wants". She put an arm possessively around Chris, flashing the ring on her third finger. The red head got the message loud and clear and quickly moved away from the table.

"That poor girl" Olivia said, "Amanda just scared her half to death" she joked.

"Yeah, she's probably gonna spread the word to stay away from this table" Fin said getting a laugh from everyone. Chris was confused by the sudden change in Amanda but she wasn't complaining. She just hoped it didn't go back to the way it was once she sobered up. A couple more women came over to their table within a thirty minute time span, all trying to hit on Chris. Amanda quickly shut it down, same as she had the first time. She was laying it on thick with the touching and whispering in Chris' ear and laying her head on her shoulder. Chris could barely keep up with all the affection Amanda was showing. Then, out of nowhere, Amanda reached over and put her hand on Chris' face, turned her head towards her and started to kiss her. Chris went along with it so well no one would've ever known that she was freaking out in her head. Benson, Amaro, and Tutuola felt like they were intruding on what was a private moment. They couldn't help but think how natural this was coming together for their colleagues and questioned whether they'd had something going on before this assignment came up. Maybe that was why Rollins was so uncomfortable at the restaurant when Chris' "friend" confronted her.

"Alright you two" Fin said getting their attention, "get a room". They ended the kiss and went back to their conversation. They didn't notice the clean shaven, nicely dressed white man at the end of the bar whose eyes were fixed on Chris and Amanda. Probably because by that time, they'd gotten the attention of almost everyone in the bar. They spent another hour there before calling it a night. Unlike Amanda, Chris had only had one beer when they first got to the bar, knowing she had to drive them home. They walked to the car hand in hand and Chris helped Amanda into the passenger seat. She put her seat belt on and was about to close the door when Amanda grabbed her by the collar of her dress and pulled her in for another kiss. Now Chris was definitely worried. Amanda was getting a little bit too comfortable playing her wife. She was hoping that it was just the speech she gave her earlier that was behind the sudden change but she knew the change was too drastic for that to be the case.

"Ok...alright" she said pulling herself out of Amanda's grasp and shutting the door. "Ay dios mio" she whispered to herself. She stood there for a moment to get her breath and then walked over to the driver's side and got in the car. She started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, starting the drive back the apartment. Five minutes into the drive, she noticed a dark green four door sedan following them. She decided she'd test them and make sure she was right, taking a few unnecessary turns and before pulling over. Sure enough, the car stayed on her tail, making every move she did.

"Why are we pulled over?" Amanda asked. "This isn't my apartment". Chris pulled back casually pulled back out onto the street.

"Amanda, listen" she said glancing over at her. "Are you listening?" she asked. Amanda could hear the serious tone of Chris' voice and perked up.

"Yeah, I'm listening".

"I'm gonna move the side mirror. Dark green sedan, three cars back" she said as she adjusted the mirror. "Can you see it?" Amanda focused on the mirror until she could see the car Chris was describing.

"Yeah, I got it" she said. Chris stopped the mirror from moving any further.

"It's been following us since we left the bar" she said. They shared a knowing look then Amanda quickly got out her phone. Chris pulled up to the apartment building and parked. The sedan kept moving forward and found a space a little ways down the street. Amanda texted Liv to tell her that they thought they hooked the perp and gave her general description of the car. As they walked up to the building, Chris tried to figure out a way to get a look at the license plates without it being obvious that she was looking at the car. She glanced over her shoulder but couldn't make out anything. It was too dark and he'd parked too far away. Just as she was about to try to sneak another glance, the car pulled out onto the street and drove away. "Damn it" she whispered. Amanda opened the door and they went up the stairs.

"At least we know he's interested" she said as she unlocked the door her apartment. Chris sighed and nodded her head in agreement. They went into the bedroom and started to get ready for bed. Chris stepped out of her shoes and put them in the closet before pulling her dress over her head and hanging it up, leaving her standing there in her bra and underwear. Amanda couldn't help the way her eyes slowly raked over Chris' fit, toned body. She was practically drooling as she watched Chris walk over to the dresser to pull out a t shirt and shorts. Chris felt Amanda staring at her and turned to look over her shoulder. Amanda quickly looked away and went on getting herself ready for bed. Once they were both settled into bed, Amanda leaned over and kissed Chris on the lips, lingering for a few seconds.

"Good night" she whispered before turning over and switching off the light on the night stand. Chris was dumbfounded. Amanda had done a complete one eighty from earlier in the day. She'd definitely gotten much more comfortable with this relationship than Chris. She just hoped she didn't get too comfortable.

"Night" she whispered back. She put the case on hold in her mind and drifted off to sleep. A couple of times throughout the night, Chris felt Amanda scooting close to her. She didn't want to be rude and tell her outright to stay on her side of the bed so she just subtly moved away from her. Amanda wouldn't give up though so finally she just let her scoot in close to her, put her arm around her waist and lay her head on her back. She figured they'd have to sleep like this once that perv bugged the apartment so she might as well get use to it now. She relaxed into the bed and let herself drift into a deep sleep.

The next morning, Amanda woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen. She rolled over and grabbed her phone, checking the time. It was eight thirty in the morning, the time she'd usually be at work. She got out of bed and got a pair of socks to warm her feet before heading into the kitchen. Chris was standing at the stove with her back to her, long black curls cascading down her back. She held a coffee mug in her hand, her hip was set to one side and she tapped one foot on the floor. Amanda's eyes traveled over her toned, tan legs up to her butt, just barely covered by the short shorts she'd worn to bed the night before. Amanda managed to pull her eyes away and walk over to counter.

"Morning" she said finally revealing her presence. Chris turned around, pushing her hair behind her ear and smiled. Amanda's breath caught in her throat as she took in how beautiful Chris looked. First thing in the morning, not dressed, no make up, she still looked gorgeous.

"Morning" she said back. "I got up kind of early so I went to the store, veggified your frig" she said making up a new word. "What do you eat anyway? There was like nothing in there" she said pointing to the refrigerator.

"Uh, well I'm not really here enough to do any cooking" she said. "And when I am here, it's usually take out".

"That's not really healthy" she said very motherly.

"Oh, what, like you cook all the time" she said.

"Well, no but I do have food, healthy food, in my frig and I don't eat take out everyday" she said. Amanda shrugged her shoulders.

"Well, at least I run. It evens things out".

"You run?" she asked. Amanda nodded her head. "God, I hate running. I'm a horrible runner" she said turning back to the stove. She stirred the last of the pancake batter and put two more on the skillet to start cooking.

"We can work on that together if you want" she offered. Chris rinsed the empty bowl and sat it in the sink and put away the pancake mix. Then she went back to the stove and flipped the pancakes before taking the eggs she'd prepared and pouring them in a second skillet to cook.

"I'll think about it" she said looking over her shoulder. She put the pancakes on a plate and took them over to the table along with a plate of veggie bacon and sausage. She finished scrambling the eggs then put them in a bowl and sat them on the table with everything else. She went back and forth getting plates and cups and juice, sitting it all on the table.

"Oh, come on. It's all about conditioning. It's gets easier the more you do it" she said as Chris sat down at the table.

"Ok, let's make a deal. I'll run with you if you do a Jillian Michaels yoga work out with me" she wagered.

"Isn't that the trainer from that weight lose show that yells a lot?" she asked. Chris laughed and nodded.

"Yep, that's the one" she said as she filled her plate with food. Amanda looked at all the food like she'd never seen so much before. "What?" Chris asked.

"Nothing, I just...never had anybody cook me breakfast before. This is nice" she said smiling. They locked eyes and shared what felt like the first genuine moment of their "relationship". Chris finally looked away.

"Well...don't get use to it" she said softening the moment. She grabbed the juice and filled both of their glasses, then noticed that Amanda was still standing at the counter. "Aren't you gonna sit down and eat?" she asked. Amanda walked over to her, leaned down and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

"Thank you" she whispered before kissing her again then went to sit opposite Christina at the table. They ate and shared small talk. There was a nice mood between the two of them. Their conversation was effortless. They were learning a lot about each other without trying. As they were cleaning up the breakfast dishes, there was a knock at the door. Amanda went over and opened the door and was jumped by a dog. She looked just as excited to see the dog as the dog was to see her. She thanked the woman who brought the dog over and shut the door. Amanda looked and saw that Chris didn't seem thrilled about having a pet. She walked back into the kitchen with the dog on her heels. She kneeled down and rubbed the dog's head.

"Chris this is Frannie" she said looking up at her. "Frannie Mae this is Chris" she said rubbing her ears. Frannie barked and went over to sit by Chris, wagging her tail. Chris took that as her saying hello. She leaned down and pet her on head.

"You have a dog?" she asked. Amanda nodded her head. "Why didn't I know this?"

"You didn't ask" she said like it was no big deal.

"Where's she been?"

"I had a neighbor take her while we...got situated" she said. She watched as Chris and Frannie got acquainted with each other. Frannie seemed to like her and she was a pretty good judge of character. "So, I'm guessing this means you're okay with animals?" she asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, not really".

"Well then I guess I'm okay" she said as she continued to play with Frannie. Amanda smiled seeing how well they were getting along. "You wanna go out?" she asked standing up straight. "It's supposed to be a nice day". Amanda nodded her head and turned to head into the bedroom. Frannie chose to stay seated by Chris' feet. "You don't wanna follow your mama?" she asked, looking down at her. Frannie whined and turned her head to lick Chris' hand. "Ok, come on". She walked out of the kitchen to the bedroom and Frannie followed behind her. Amanda changed into jeans, tank top and light jacket. Chris put on jeans and t shirt with a San Bernardino baseball cap. Amanda put Frannie's collar on, hooked on her leash and grabbed the frisbee she loved to play with. They pocketed their phones and keys and left the apartment. They walked towards the park when Amanda spotted a hardware store. She handed Chris Frannie's leash and told her she'd be just a few minutes. Chris looked at her suspiciously but didn't ask what she was going in the store for. A few minutes later, Amanda came back out and handed her a key. Chris looked surprised by the gesture. She didn't really need a key to her apartment seeing as how they'd be moving soon.

"What?" Amanda asked. "We're married right? You should have a key". Chris just smiled and nodded her agreement. She gave Amanda back the leash and took out her keys, adding the key to Amanda's apartment to her key ring. They continued on their walk in silence, just enjoying the nice, cool breeze. There were a lot of people in the park due to it being so nice out. The jog path they were walking on was really crowded. They stayed to the outside lane so joggers could have the inside, per proper jog path etiquette. Other people didn't seem to share the same attitude. Every so often there would be a jogger or power walker that would split between them instead passing on the left. After it happened a fifth time, Amanda had enough. She reached over and took Christina's hand, interlacing their fingers. They held hands for the rest of their walk and no one else cut between them. They found an open space in the grass to run around and throw the frisbee with Frannie. After a while, Frannie started playing with other dogs in the park so Chris and Amanda went to sit down and watch. Christina sat down, putting her hands behind her to prop herself up and bent her legs at the knees. Amanda sat down between her legs and leaned back against her chest. She did so like it was something they did all the time.

"What are you doing?" Chris asked surprised by Amanda taking this position.

"I'm sitting with my wife, enjoying the weather and watching our dog play in the park" she said nonchalantly. "Our dog" Chris thought to herself. She laughed nervously and looked around to see who was watching them. Nobody seemed to be paying them any mind. She took a deep breath and tried to relax and enjoy their time in the park. They stayed for half an hour longer before putting Frannie back on her leash and going home for lunch. Chris decided that they needed to have a talk about what was happening between them. She hadn't expected Rollins to take her words so seriously. She was really acting like they were in a relationship, not just in public but at her apartment too. They hadn't been alerted that their was any video hookup so the private affection wasn't necessary, yet Amanda was initiating a lot of it. That could only mean one thing; she wasn't pretending anymore. That wasn't what Chris signed up for. Amanda really needed to dail it back a little. She didn't know how she would say it without hurting Amanda's feelings and potentially jeopardizing the case but it had to be done.