FATE/IRREGULAR SUMMONS
Chapter 21: Nameless, Thankless, Prideless
The early evening hours arrived, and a gentle snowfall sprinkled all around Fuyuki. It wouldn't be enough to accumulate piles of snow, but it served as a fitting backdrop for the duel that was to come. Shirou, Rin and Artoria headed up the long flight of stone steps leading to Ryuudou Temple, none saying a word to each other. The temple was almost in view, but that was when a familiar fellow garbed in traditional Japanese clothing stepped to bar their path. The trio stopped when they saw him, and Artoria approached him while the two Masters remained several feet behind.
"I have been waiting," Sasaki Kojirou murmured to her. "I am glad you made it in time."
"Indeed," she replied. "I have not forgotten the promise I made to you."
"I must admit that I am surprised. Now that Caster is no longer around, Ryuudou has lost its value in this war. Despite that, you have come to face me. Would it not have been easier to allow me to fade back into obscurity?"
"Assassin," Shirou declared. "We're here because I want to make a deal with you."
"A deal?" the indigo-haired swordsman raised an eyebrow in curiosity.
"Have your duel with Saber. But should you be the one defeated, you will contract with me as my Servant."
"Oh? Are you not Saber's Master already?" Kojirou wondered, then glanced at the teenager's hand to discover that his Command Spells were missing. That was all he needed to see to understand the situation, and he let out a small chortle while muttering, "I see… So that vixen used Rule Breaker on you. For you to approach me with such a demand proves that you are all in dire straits."
"You can thank Second Lancer for the idea," Rin told him. "She was the one who thought your disappearance would be a waste."
"That petite Lancer who was with Saber before? Fascinating. So it appears she has a mind for effective strategies. However, I will not sell myself to a new lord so easily. If I am to wield my blade for his sake, I must first demonstrate its worthiness to you, Saber. I must have you experience the full weight of my life's training."
"Of course," Artoria said and raised her invisible sword. "I only have one request though."
"Speak."
"Should I fall to you, I want you to look after Shirou and Rin. The enemies we face are far greater than we can comprehend. As such, I fear for the sake of the friends I have made during my time here."
"So you're saying I should become one's Servant regardless of my victory or defeat."
"I know it is selfish of me to ask such a thing, but if we do nothing, the world as we know it will end. That will affect all Servants as well, for no Masters will be left alive to summon us once again. All that will follow is eternal silence, both for the World and for the Throne of Heroes."
"Hm…"
Kojirou had to admit that such lofty ambitions were unsuitable for a humble man such as himself. The only thing he concerned himself with was finding value in pursuing the path of the sword. Even so, he couldn't ignore the fierce look in Artoria's eyes. If she was going to fight him seriously, then he needed to acknowledge her reasons and face her with as much determination. His motives were probably petty in comparison, but he wasn't going to sign up to be the savior of the world on a whim either. If anything, he would use Artoria as a gauge to determine whether or not he was ready for such a monumental task.
Soon, he responded firmly, "Very well. Should you be the one defeated, I shall guard your compatriots with my life."
"Thank you," she replied with a light smile, but then immediately became stoic.
That expression served as the signal to begin the fight, and Kojirou dashed in first to clash swords with Artoria. As far as Servants' standards went, it wasn't an especially impressive battle. To Shirou and Rin, who had witnessed plenty of amazing attacks during the Grail War thus far, this was little more than a demonstration of high-caliber Western and Eastern swordplay meeting each other in a contest of strength and finesse. Both warriors represented the peaks of their respective arts, so it was impossible to tell who would be the victor in the end.
"TAH!" Artoria yelled as she blocked one of Kojirou's downward swings with her thick gauntlet, then swung at him. He parried her and returned with another attack that was likewise blocked. She gasped for air and muttered, "Japanese swordsmen truly are on a unique level. You really are the formidable rival of Miyamoto Musashi, aren't you, Sasaki Kojirou?"
"Sasaki… No, that's wrong," the samurai mumbled with a forlorn smile. "The truth is, I am not the actual Sasaki Kojirou."
Artoria looked genuinely puzzled. He continued, "No need to be so bewildered. Indeed, there once was a time when a man named Sasaki Kojirou existed. There likewise was another warrior who wielded the infamous nodachi, Monohoshizao. However, those two are not the same individual. Sasaki Kojirou, wielder of Monohoshizao, was a fictional character who never existed; he was a tall tale who was written to give the peerless Musashi a fitting rival."
"A fictional Heroic Spirit…"
"Correct. You could say that 'Sasaki Kojirou' is actually a title, and I was the swordsman most fitting to don that mantle. In reality, I have no name. I am but a phantom who is able to perform techniques related to Sasaki Kojirou. That is the only reason I have been summoned here. Thus, such things like saving the world and protecting one's friends are difficult for me to comprehend. My life was not guided by such principles – I lived to be forged as a Sasaki Kojirou imitation."
Shirou's eyes softened when he heard that word. He knew what it was like to spend his life mimicking someone else. On the night that his foster father Kiritsugu died, Shirou promised that he would inherit his ideal of being a 'hero', and would fight to protect others in his stead. Such words granted Kiritsugu the reprieve he always sought in his turbulent life. Shirou was Kiritsugu's salvation, so the boy felt that he needed to constantly push himself for his savior's sake.
Seeing Connla's foolishness of trying to recruit Illyasviel and Berserker all by herself was the start of him realizing how dangerous his lifestyle really was becoming to him. Now, Kojirou was saying that he had thrown away his own identity so that he could gain infamy through someone else, but that it resulted in him becoming a nameless ghost. Inheriting Kiritsugu's wish was fine so long as Shirou shared the same beliefs, but pretending to be someone else entirely and constantly endangering oneself was not right. That was not the way a 'hero' should be created.
Otherwise, Shirou would wind up following the same miserable path that Archer took.
As the teenager stood there thinking about himself, Kojirou took on the ko gasumi no kemae stance and fiercely glared at Artoria. Then he dashed at her and swung down hard on her blade. Although her sword was invisible, a shining blue light was the indication that both weapons were caught in an intense stalemate. They glared into each other's eyes with the ferocity of wild beasts. While Artoria's expression remained serious, Kojirou's lips furled into a light smile. She knew exactly what this meant.
If I attempt to move out of his range, he will most definitely use that sword technique.
She thought back to when Kojirou used Tsubame Gaeshi before. She couldn't forget the 'possibility' she witnessed of herself being slashed apart. She had been lucky to escape last time, but she didn't want to tempt fate a second time.
"Is it wise for you to pull your blows?" he asked. "If you do not strike in earnest, I could send you flying from this position."
"Is that why you deliberately engaged me?"
"In a duel, it is dangerous to let your mind wander to what comes afterward. You are hesitating to fight me, yet you are determined to guard something precious. In such a situation, there shouldn't be any room for doubt. Besides…"
Artoria shifted her eyes down to Kojirou's hands, and she noticed that small portions of his body appeared to be vanishing.
"I do not have time for the luxury of doubt," he murmured coolly.
Once she saw that, she relented, "I have done you a great discourtesy. I shall no longer waver then."
Her sword then flashed a brilliant golden light, and the shockwave threw Kojirou back. He finally got to see Excalibur, the Sword of Promised Victory, in all of its splendor. Delighted that his opponent was going all out, he took his preferred combat stance and faced her. The shining golden long sword greatly contrasted with the long nodachi that gleamed a soft indigo hue. Shirou and Rin knew that the end would come within the next few seconds. Neither of them dared to even breathe, unable to wrench their eyes away from the spectacle that was to come.
Their movements became a slow-paced blur. The immediate area around them turned dark. Just as Artoria predicted, Kojirou activated the initial phases of his Noble Phantasm. This time though, she could see it; one Kojirou slashed sideways from the left, another Kojirou swung straight down, and the third Kojirou approached from the right.
"Concealed Sword… Tsubame Gaeshi!"
The three slashes descended upon Artoria like a pair of scissors with three blades. Although it happened in an instant from reality's perspective, she could instinctively read his slashes and find the glaring weakness that he exposed to her. There was a tiny opening between his left arm and waist, and she rushed in as low as she could to swipe Excalibur at him. The only reason she knew this was due to the experience of having the Noble Phantasm used on her before. Another possible reason was because Monohoshizao was slightly damaged, which affected the attack's quality. If the nodachi had been in perfect condition, the three strikes would have been absolutely invincible.
Alas, with one magnificent slash to Kojirou's exposed chest, Artoria's victory was decided. Blood spurted out of the diagonal wound, and some more red fluid trickled out of his mouth. He only had the strength to remain standing upright.
"… I thought you'd be a lovely little bird…" he whispered feebly. "But in truth, you were a fierce lion… I thought I was a fair judge of women, but it would seem my training in that art is equally lacking…"
Without replying to the compliment, Artoria declared, "It is done. Shirou, make the contract with Assassin before he can vanish."
"Yeah," the teenager said and approached the wounded samurai. Since he didn't know the incantation for summoning Heroic Spirits, Rin had to help him recite the chant. Shirou raised his hand and demanded, "Respond, nameless vagrant donning the mantle of Sasaki Kojirou. Will you swear fealty to me? Will my fate rest in your hands? Will you hear my will and obey me?"
"I shall," was the unabated response. "I, Assassin, respond to your summons. From here on, you are my one and only lord, Emiya Shirou."
The top of Shirou's hand flared crimson, and an intense numbing sensation flared through his nerves. The Command Spells reformed on his flesh, indicating that the pact was forged successfully. Now that Kojirou had a proper Master to draw mana from, his lethal wound gradually healed itself, and he was eventually back to top form.
Artoria approached Kojirou, then murmured with a soft smile, "Glad to have you with us."
"Yeah. It feels strange to be part of a collective effort, but I shall nonetheless offer everything I have."
Everyone who had remained at Edelfelt Manor sat down in the lounge, feeling too anxious about how Shirou and the others were doing. Artoria promised that she wouldn't let the fight drag on for too long, but Connla was growing especially nervous from all of the waiting. It was affecting her ability to cook dinner for Sakura and Illyasviel, so the two Masters allowed her to take a break while she sat at the couch. The moment the others returned, she would go with them to the Einzbern Mansion to rescue Caren and defeat Archer. Until then, all she could do to relieve the tension was to constantly fidget her hands together.
"Relax," Medusa calmly assured. "There is still plenty of time."
"I know, but I just can't sit still…"
"Perhaps I could read to you to pass the time."
"Okay."
Medusa sat down next to Connla and began reciting a novel to the girl aloud, which helped distract her a bit. Sakura and Illyasviel returned with some food and ate while listening to the story as well. An hour later, they eventually heard the doorknob to the front entrance twist open. Connla immediately bolted to her feet and ran to greet Shirou's group. She saw the two Masters and Artoria at first, but then peered behind them to discover Kojirou leaning back against one of the pillars. Seeing him was all she needed to know the outcome of the duel.
"We're ready," was the only thing Rin said to her.
"At last," Connla murmured in relief, then activated her Identity Concealment and joined the group.
"Senpai…" Sakura clasped her hands together. Illyasviel stood behind her, looking as equally fearful.
"Don't worry," he said and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'll come back alive, no matter what. I won't let you, Tohsaka and Illya have to cope with my death."
"Be careful," Illyasviel moaned. "We still have to talk about Kiritsugu."
"I promise. Rider, please keep them safe in the meantime."
"No need to say such a thing," Medusa replied in a chilly yet calming manner. With that, Shirou and his comrades turned to head for the abandoned mansion hidden deep within the forests of Fuyuki.
In a completely different universe, and in a completely different time, a mass of azure ether swirled until it formed into a blazing orb with two rings rotating around it like clock hands. A wounded Shirou, who was a few years older than the current one, kneeled against a metal railing as he bore witness to this indescribable phenomenon. He stood up and clenched his bleeding arm, keeping his eyes transfixed on the blue sphere. It slowly reached tiny white tendrils out at him and covered his form in alien nerves. He didn't so much 'hear' a voice in his head, but he was able to comprehend its message all the same.
"Propose an opportunity. Protect humanity."
He paused. No motion was made to resist the bright strings as they wrapped around him. The idea of becoming a defender for mankind was too irresistible for him to pass up.
"If doing that means no one will cry, then…"
After a long walk through the woods, Shirou, Rin, and the three Servants arrived at the Einzbern Mansion. Rin looked around and said, "Incredible… The place is totally in shambles."
Kojirou faced Connla, who had dispelled her Identity Concealment, and asked, "You say this is the result of the battle between Heracles and Gilgamesh that you bore witness to?"
"Mm," she nodded pensively.
"Such a frightful display of power. Now I am beginning to understand why you sought my aid."
Shirou faced Kojirou and said, "Assassin, you and Lancer search the manor for Caren. Once you've secured her, return to me immediately. But do not interfere with my battle against Archer. This is a score I need to settle on my own."
"Understood. You did not meddle with my affairs, so I shall do the same for you," the samurai responded. Connla had already taken off without a word, so Kojirou followed behind her. The two Servants spent some time scouring the manor for Caren, but the number of rooms they had to investigate made the search more complicated than necessary.
Soon though, Connla found the door leading to the basement cellar where the Einzberns kept a variety of wines stored in large barrels. That was where she found Caren tied to the chair, still in a deep sleep.
"Ms. Hortensia!" she exclaimed fearfully and charged down the steps. As she approached Caren, she couldn't help but notice a distinct bloodstain smearing the concrete floor just in front of the unconscious prisoner. Connla tensed up with fear, thinking that Caren was seriously hurt, or even dead. A closer inspection showed that she wasn't injured whatsoever, so the young Lancer exhaled a sigh of immense relief before looking at the blood again.
Did something happen here…?
She didn't know why, but an immense sense of dread welled up within her chest. From what she could tell, there was probably something much bigger going on than Shirou and Archer's vendetta. She couldn't ignore the possibility of the next major foe showing up from out of nowhere, so she needed to be on guard at all times.
At the same time, Shirou, Rin and Artoria headed for the foyer. Artoria had sensed Archer's presence there, so they assumed that this was where he wanted to have his confrontation with Shirou. As the trio stepped into the ruined foyer, they found Archer sitting atop the steps to the second floor, keeping himself cloaked within the darkness.
"You took your time coming here, Emiya Shirou," he muttered.
"Yeah," the teenager replied. "Tohsaka told me that there couldn't be two pendants like that in this world."
"So you are aware of the paradox. Indeed, after my life was saved, I kept it with me for the rest of my days. It is a gift to Tohsaka Rin from her father, a one-of-a-kind pendant that contained enough magical energy to resurrect someone from the dead just once. The thing is, when you summon a Heroic Spirit, you need a catalyst."
"But I didn't have one for the invocation," Rin admitted. "I had assumed that I summoned a Servant at random because I hadn't prepared one."
"Random? You of all people should know that no Servant is summoned by chance. There is always a link between summoner and spirit."
"So if I wasn't the one who had the catalyst…"
"There you have it. It wasn't the summoner who possessed it, but rather the summoned Heroic Spirit."
Artoria interjected, "The concept of time does not exist for the Throne of Heroes, where the legends of Heroic Spirits are recorded. Heroes from the distant past are treated as equally as those from the future. In short, Rin had actually summoned a Heroic Spirit from the future."
"Precisely," Archer said. "Rin possessed a link between herself and the future version of her classmate, Emiya Shirou. It would be difficult for me if she found out that I possessed an identical pendant to the one she used to revive this world's Shirou though, so I handed her the one I owned and claimed I retrieved it for her."
"I was completely fooled," Rin admitted without hesitation. "That bought you the time you needed to hunt down Shirou without cluing me in to your real intentions."
"So then, what will you and Saber do? Do you plan on getting in my way again?"
"No," Artoria said. "Rin and I have promised Shirou that we will do no such thing."
"A fine answer. If you didn't make such a promise, severing my pact with Rin would have been for nothing."
"I am not making that promise for nothing though. I want you to answer me one thing, Archer. Why are you so fixated on ending Shirou's life?"
Archer muttered, "Why do you ask? Neither of us can accept the other."
"That can't be true. You represent Emiya Shirou's ideals in Heroic Spirit form. The way you're speaking though, you make it seem like that ideal is rejecting itself. Why does such a contradiction exist within you?"
"It's pretty simple, really. You became a Heroic Spirit through your own merits as a knight and king. I, on the other hand, sold my posthumous self so that I could become one through external means. That is what it means to be a Guardian."
"Yes, I know of them. After their deaths, Guardians act as a Counter Force to protect humanity. Regardless of your circumstances, you're still a Heroic Spirit."
"That's where you're wrong, Saber. Guardians don't fight to protect humanity. They're just over-glorified janitors, constantly cleaning up the messes caused by humanity."
"Archer…"
"You're right about me becoming a hero. Just as Emiya Shirou wished from the bottom of his heart, I became a hero of justice. However, that reality is nothing more than a huge mistake."
Artoria's eyes became heavy as she heard those words. She too strived to be a hero of justice for her beloved Britain, yet that ideal wound up betraying her in the end. If Archer was going to recount a similar tragic story to her own, then she needed to keep an open mind and listen to him.
To her dismay, Archer muttered, "Because of that mistake, Emiya Shirou's life had no value."
"No value…?"
"Absolutely none. You know just as well, Saber. You should understand my resolve to take back the decisions I made."
Artoria became silent. Shirou and Rin appeared puzzled by what he meant. The bowman scoffed, "What? Neither of you know? You never asked what her wish was? You have no idea why she would commit herself to this pointless bloodbath to obtain the Grail?"
Neither Master could respond. All this time, the question really hadn't crossed their minds. Noticing this disconcerting quiet, Archer said, "Then I will tell you. She is-"
"Archer!" Artoria barked, silencing him. She turned to face her friends. "Shirou… Rin… The truth is, I wanted to use the Holy Grail to undo a decision I once made."
She thought of herself back in her teenaged years, when she pulled the Sword of Selection Caliburn out of the stone. That the moment when her destiny as King Arthur had been decided. From there on, her life would be one filled with hardship and battles against numerous external threats, yet she had neglected to address the enemy brewing within her own country. Such ignorance was what led Camelot to its self-destruction, culminating in the Battle of Camlann where she was slain by her own offspring Mordred.
"To undo my mistake… To alter Britain's bloody demise… I refused to allow myself to die."
"So then, Saber…" Rin whispered sullenly. "You're saying you are caught in a loop? That you denied your own salvation in the pursuit of changing the course of your life?"
"Yes. I made an appeal to the World, and it responded by granting me life as a Heroic Spirit so I could obtain the Holy Grail. I will appear time and time again in Holy Grail Wars to seek the ultimate prize. I did not live up to my ideals, so I should never have become king. I appear before summoners like yourselves and Kiritsugu, fighting with everything I have so that I can escape this fate."
"But Second Lancer said that the Holy Grail was tainted," Shirou said. "Someone warned her that no matter what the wish would be, it would result in the world's destruction."
"I know," Artoria mumbled and closed her eyes. "I truly believe her claims. There's no way I can deny how frightened she was as she recounted that vision of hers. Yet, where does this leave me? Is there any way to cleanse it of such taint? Is it possible to purify its contents and restore the wish to what it should be?"
As she pondered this conundrum, Archer listened to her intently. Connla's warning about the Grail's demonic nature especially piqued his curiosity. He thought back to what the young Lancer implored to him when he had her at his mercy:
"So you've been looking for a proper enemy to slay. Then this is actually your chance. Listen to me, Archer. There isan evil lurking out there. If you can just let me explain…"
He narrowed his eyes and thinned his lips.
Is the Grail the 'enemy' that Second Lancer was talking about? Has she been summoned as an outsider to destroy it?
He wasn't sure. He didn't want to act on mere hearsay, although the prospect greatly worried him. He had already made the deal with Cuchulainn to obtain the Grail for themselves. Archer was only slightly interested in its power so that he could gain an advantage over whatever external influence was enhancing Shirou's abilities. He didn't treat it as a wish-granting device, but rather a booster to extrapolate his combat abilities. Cuchulainn likewise claimed that he didn't want the Grail, but how could Archer take his words at face value?
Despite his doubts, Archer retorted to Artoria, "That is the very notion of self-defeat. To cleanse the Holy Grail, you would need to make a wish on the Holy Grail, would you not? Having a second Grail handy would be nice, but that's just not going to happen."
"So it would seem," she murmured sadly. "But Holy Grail aside, are you not Shirou's realized ideals taking on the form of a Servant, Archer?"
"Realized ideals…? It's true that I achieved my dream of becoming a hero of justice. After seeing my Reality Marble though, you should already know that I am filled with nothing but regrets."
He remembered his time when he was alive in that other time and universe. Before he had become a Heroic Spirit, the other Shirou had made contact with a mysterious azure orb, and it knitted dozens of white threads on his body. This was the pact he made with the Counter Force, also known as Alaya, which was the collective will of mankind to avoid extinction. It was one of two 'wills' that a planet possessed, the other being Gaia, or the planet's own intrinsic will to survive and prosper. Gaia and Alaya once functioned in harmony, but as mankind began to gain independence from nature, the two wills diverged from each other and took on meanings of their own. It was like saying that the left and right halves of a human's brain decided to function separately from each other, which would no doubt create conflict and confusion. Both forces had agents to heed their bidding, and Archer had chosen to sell himself to Alaya in order to become the hero he always wanted to be after his proper death.
"After becoming a Guardian," Archer continued, "I became an agent that the Counter Force would summon to fight against those who would disrupt the world's balance."
Rin recalled what she and Connla talked about regarding Guardians. She couldn't forget Connla's opinion about them:
"If a Servant is a Guardian because they want to save people, wouldn't that contradiction wind up destroying them from within? They have to kill people who would threaten humanity itself, after all. How many eras would a Guardian be summoned into to fulfill that mission over and over again?"
"Obeying my orders…" the Guardian murmured, his words precisely mirroring Rin's thoughts. "I killed… Killed… Killed… And just kept on killing… I killed so many that I ceased to care. The result is that for every life I took, I would save thousands in turn. Wherever, whenever I was called upon, I would fulfill that mission over and over again… And again… And again… All without end."
"Archer…" she whispered. Was it possible that Connla understood him well before she did?
"Granted, it's not that I dream of a world where fighting doesn't exist. I just didn't want anyone in the world I know to be sad. Only after committing myself to this ridiculous cycle did I come to realize that Emiya Shirou's dream was naught but hollow idealism."
"Why do you say that?" Artoria asked.
"It's impossible to save everyone. If you want to save the many, you need to leave the few to perish. You should know something about that, Saber. Your people, once they realized that their 'ideal king' could not actually save everyone, began to push all of their blames onto you. You were raised… No, you were conceived not to be a human, but to be a fusion of human and dragon, who would be bred into the perfect king who fought to protect his people's happiness. Yet you didn't know what that happiness was. All you could do was love the concept of happiness, just as much as I embraced the concept of justice without actually understanding it."
Archer stood up and approached the top of the stairs, allowing the last bit of evening light to shine on him.
"Look at us, Saber. What kind of monsters have we become?"
"…"
"Just as some of your Knights of the Round Table failed to understand you, I too would not be understood by the people I was saving. In order to save as many people as possible, I had to condemn a select few to death. Yet people expect heroes of justice to save everyone without killing a single person. Though I hoped for no one to be sad, the loved ones of those I killed were driven to despair, and I became the convenient scapegoat they desperately sought to blame for their suffering."
He raised his hand and projected an unfamiliar sword. Artoria thought he was ready to attack Shirou, but he simply tossed the blade at the teenager's feet.
"Kill yourself, Emiya Shirou," Archer demanded. "Now that you know what you will become, don't you think that the world would be better off without the blight that is your shallow idealism?"
Shirou just stood there and stared at the gleaming weapon in silence.
"Archer," Artoria implored. "I don't believe you have gone against your ideals. You simply lost your way when the very ideals you protected wound up betraying you. Otherwise, you would have considered killing yourself as atonement for your sins."
When he heard this, he couldn't resist the urge to curl his lips into a smile. Then, he burst out laughing.
"Fwah hah hah hah! Atone for my sins, you say? Spare me such idiocy, Saber. I was betrayed and deceived countless times. After all, who can comprehend the mind of a man willing to lay down his life for others? In the end, what do you think my reward was for all of my self-sacrificing?"
"Reward…?" she became pensive.
"So many people wanted me gone that I was set up as the mastermind behind a conflict and hanged for a crime I did not commit."
"No…" Rin uttered, her eyes widening in disbelief. "You must be lying…"
"It is no lie. If any of you think I had any sins worth atoning for, they should have been forgiven in that moment."
"So you were never celebrated as a hero in your lifetime…"
"You're mistaken, Rin. I never sought gratitude or praise for my efforts. The only thing I wanted was an outcome where everyone was happy. That was never given to me though, not in life, and not afterward. All I have become is an automatic defense mechanism, permanently removed from the cycle of death and rebirth, and recycled as tools to protect human history. I thought it would be worth it, so long as I could save even just one person long after my death…
"But it's nothing like that!"
The others winced when they heard his uncharacteristic cry of frustration.
"I'll only say this once more. Guardians don't protect humanity. They simply clean up the messes that humans cause. They are a type of Servant who use their powers to negate disasters of mankind's own making. They stoop to becoming butchers that slaughter those who threaten the human world without preconceptions of good or evil. How is any of this different than when I was powerless to save those who died in the New Fuyuki Fire?"
"So you're saying," Artoria murmured, "that you've never actually saved as many people as you could? In your mind, was your wish never fulfilled even once?"
"Precisely. I purged the people I was trying to save. I'm sick of cleaning up after humanity, but as a Heroic Spirit, I've signed my afterlife away and will continue to do such dirty deeds for eternity. Then it occurred to me… If I had never existed… If I had never made the choice of becoming a Guardian… If I could make my past self disappear before he made that mistake, then perhaps it was possible…"
"If you kill a human destined to be a hero, you believe you will deny that hero the right to be born?"
"I've been waiting for the opportunity to arise."
"It is doomed to fail. You already are a Guardian outside the confines of time. There's no guarantee that if you eliminate Shirou, you will likewise disappear."
"It's not beyond the realm of possibility. Even if it's a fraction of a fraction of a percent, I would gladly take it rather than continue living in this hell. So long as I destroy his spirit, the mistake that is 'Emiya Shirou, hero of justice' will not appear in this world."
Archer shifted his eyes toward Shirou, who had remained stiff and quiet the entire time. He goaded, "What's the matter? If I'm really that despicable to you, kill yourself now and put an end to it."
He knelt down and picked up the silver broadsword, inspecting its craftsmanship and polished gleam.
"Emiya…" Rin whimpered.
He paused for an uncomfortably long time. Rin and Artoria had no idea what was running through his mind as he listened to Archer's story.
"This might be redundant," Shirou finally spoke, "but I'll ask anyway. Do you have any regrets in your life?"
"Of course I do."
Without his vapid expression wavering, he turned his eyes to meet Archer's gaze and bluntly stated his opinion:
"Then I guess we really are two different people."