A/N: So, I had rolled around the idea of continuing this particular story after posting the original, but I just never had the inspiration to do it.

Things have changed.

There is one more chapter after this one. I'd planned on having it all as a single chapter, but it got way too long, and it had a great stopping point in it for another chapter.

I hope you guys enjoy this little plot bunny that wouldn't be ignored, even when I sat down with the intent to work on a new chapter of one of my priority stories.

Countdown

Six months ago, he'd found out the truth about the only woman he'd ever loved. Kinana ripped his heart out without ever laying a finger on him.

Six months ago, he found himself sobbing on the roof of Lucy Heartfilia's apartment building, and he hadn't known just where he was until she approached him in that gaudy, fuzzy pink robe of hers with a cup of poisoned cocoa.

Six months ago, when he had nothing to lose, Cobra took a chance. He let her be there for him. He let her comfort him with her silent, steady presence beside him for hours until the sun broke past the horizon. He allowed himself to be vulnerable - though, he reasoned, it was mostly because she'd already seen him crying without him realizing it, so what were a few more tears? - and he talked to her.

Six months ago, Cobra made his first new friend in over twenty years. She'd brought him into her home, made him a warm meal, and told him to go sleep in her bed. When he'd told her that Jellal would be calling to let him know it was time to leave, she'd just smiled and shooed him away to her bedroom. And when Jellal had called, Cobra was fast asleep. She'd answered it, and told Jellal to come to her apartment. While Cobra slept, she gave Jellal (and only Jellal, thankfully) an abridged version of the night Cobra had, and asked if they could stay in town just a few more hours, so he could rest.

Six months ago, Cobra walked out of her apartment at dusk, with a heavy heart and anger boiling him from the inside out. He'd yelled at her for telling anyone his business. She'd tried to apologize to him, tried to tell him that she just wanted to help, and he'd practically spit in her face. He'd heard in her soul, that she just wanted to make things easier for him, that she hadn't told Jellal about the engagement ring, that she'd given only the essential information - Cobra found out Kinana had cheated on him, so they split up, and he was a mess over it - but he hadn't been in a place to see the truth of the matter. He'd been so ready to believe that she'd betrayed him, just like Kinana had.

Five months, two weeks, and three days ago, Cobra realized he'd overreacted. She hadn't told Jellal to be spiteful. It wasn't vindictive. Lucy had been doing her level best to help in any way she could. She'd refused to let Jellal come to her room and wake Cobra up, because he'd only just fallen asleep. She'd protected his privacy. And, he came to realize, she'd forgone sleep for herself until he left at dusk. Lucy had been awake for well over 24 hours, for him. She owed him nothing, and she'd gone out of her way to help him over and over.

Four months, one week, and one day ago, Cobra still hadn't figured out what to do over the guilt he was suddenly carrying over how he'd treated her. She'd called him her friend so easily that night, and he'd used her kindness as a weapon. He'd wanted to hurt her, he knew, just as much as he was hurting, even though she didn't deserve it. She didn't know what it was like to have her heart broken like he did - she'd never been seriously attracted to someone, let alone in love - and she hadn't been the source of his pain. Still, in his lingering anger, he'd lashed out at her. He had no idea what to do about it.

Two months and two days ago, Cobra finally found the courage to let his guildmates know what had really happened. It started with talking to Meredy, of all people. He'd crawled into her tent in the middle of the night, woken her up with his hand over her mouth so she couldn't scream, and instantly got her attention.

"Can I tell you a secret?" he breathed.

It had her on high alert in an instant. The elusive, secretive Cobra… wanted to tell her something? Meredy nodded quickly and pulled his hand from her lips while she sat up.

Cobra sighed and sat with his legs crossed, then took the ring box he hadn't been able to get rid of, from his pocket. Meredy jumped to one conclusion after another in the time it took for him to breathe in and start speaking.

"It was for Kinana," he said. "But she…" He pressed the box into Meredy's hands. "Well, she doesn't need it anymore."

"Cobra," she whispered, her eyes widening when she peeked inside the box and saw the ring he'd been ready to commit to his long-time girlfriend with. "What happened?"

"Her cunt fell on Natsu's dick," he growled. "Repeatedly."

Meredy dropped the ring as though it had burned her. Cobra had the errant thought that he hoped Kinana got severe burns from Natsu being all fired up in the bedroom. "She…"

"I found out on the last visit there," he spat. "Broke things off."

"Cobra…" He didn't want her to be concerned for him. He didn't want to hear the pity in her voice and the things she imagined he must have heard. Her thoughts weren't that far off, which almost made him question whether she'd known about it. But he knew that she hadn't. She was surprised by this revelation - so surprised that she was having a hard time figuring out how to formulate sentences longer than a single word.

God, how much had Kinana already fucked him up? He'd had trust issues beforehand, but now? Now, he suspected even his guildmates of treachery.

"I…" He paused and sighed again. He had to physically stop himself from reaching out for the ring by clasping his hands tightly in his lap. "W-Would you get rid of it?" he asked. "I can't. It's too hard. And, well, I don't want anyone to know about it, but…"

Meredy's eyes welled with tears when he looked at her again.

"She shouldn't matter anymore, and I can't hold onto this," he said. "I can't keep looking at it and thinking of her. I need your help."

It didn't take an ounce of magic to hear her soul screaming "Me?! Is he feeling okay?!" That was written clearly across her pale face.

He couldn't ask anyone else. Jellal already knew too much. The others from the Seis knew Cubellios, and they would have millions of questions for him that he just couldn't answer. He didn't know what to tell them, because he didn't have answers.

But Meredy hadn't been with him when Cubellios had been around. She had no opinion that he was aware of concerning his relationship with Kinana - aside from thinking they made a cute couple. She wasn't biased.

"Please," he said. "She was everything to me, and she betrayed me, and…" His head dropped to his hands. "If I can't get rid of it, I'll just keep thinking about her. Picturing the way she smiled at me, even though it was all a fucking lie. Meredy, I can't-"

"It's okay," she finally responded. His eye closed as he listened to the soft shuffle of her bare knees over the nylon fabric of her tent's floor. He flinched as her hands carefully pulled his away from his face. "Cobra, I'm glad you felt like you could come to me. I'll help you."

He nodded and didn't say another word, even when Meredy leaned forward and hugged him around the shoulders. Instead, he stared at the taunting glint of a future he'd never have in the diamond ring on the ground.

Thirty-seven days and six hours ago, Cobra heard her soul calling out for him. He'd been doing everything he could to ignore it, but she cut through his skull with such terrifying accuracy, he'd nearly been brought to his knees. Just one word, but he knew her voice.

"Erik…"

Over and over again, Kinana's voice beckoned him home. No, not home. It drew him closer, made him ache to be with her again.

"Need you… Erik…"

She didn't need him. She'd stopped needing him years ago, when he'd left her behind to fend for herself. She'd stopped needing him when she found a home in Fairy Tail. He wasn't worth her time anymore. And yet…

There was still such a large part of himself that had intertwined with her. Cobra had molded himself into the man he'd thought she would want, based every action off of what would make her proud to call him hers. Kinana had accused him so many times of not treating her like a woman, but a possession, but she'd had it mixed up. He'd given everything he had to her. His body, mind, and soul had belonged to only her.

"Erik…"

He almost thought she was in danger. Why else would she call out for him like this?

He shook his head and trudged along the path with Midnight just beside him, none the wiser to his inner turmoil.

"Need you…"

Kinana didn't need him. She had Natsu, and he knew that the Fire Dragon Slayer could handle whatever the hell kind of bullshit came their way. If there was an emergency, her guild could deal with it. That's what they were good at, after all.

Bitterness rose in the back of his throat when a small voice in his head mentioned that maybe Natsu wasn't in the picture anymore. Maybe it wasn't an emergency. Maybe Kinana had finally come to her senses, and her soul was calling out to him, begging him to come back so she could fix this whole fucking mess.

But that could never happen. He'd loved her, but she'd betrayed him. And there was no way he could forgive that.

"Erik…"

He ignored her soul's distant cries of his name, and kept walking in the opposite direction, further from Magnolia. Further from her conniving ways. Further from the ache that still beat in his chest.

Four days, fifteen hours, and nine minutes ago, Cobra learned that Kinana was dead. Something had drawn him to a local newspaper, but he could no longer remember what had been on the front cover. He'd paid for it, like the law-abiding citizen that he was those days, then flipped through it without a care until he came to the obituaries.

He saw her face, smiling up at him. He saw her name. Kinana, Fairy Tail Barmaid. He read the details, but they made no sense. It couldn't be right. There had to have been a mistake.

He hadn't realized that he'd collapsed in the middle of a busy street until Angel turned around to yell at him. And when she saw the devastation sitting so clearly on his normally guarded features, she went silent.

The events following that moment were a blur. One minute, he was reading about her death, and the next… he was on a train with his small guild surrounding him.

Cobra welcomed the motion sickness that doubled him over. It kept everyone from talking to him about the illness that had taken her life.

Forty-eight hours ago, Cobra arrived in Magnolia. He didn't know where to go. He was lost without her. He'd been lost for so long, and he'd cherished the short time he'd been able to show her how deeply his love ran. But now, she was gone, and he was alone all over again. More than before. Because before, he'd at least had the reassurance that, even though he couldn't be with her, she was still around. She was still alive.

Jellal and Meredy talked, and Midnight answered questions for him. He didn't know what they were saying. He was sure there was something about seeing Makarov, and something about a funeral.

Fuck, he didn't want to go. He couldn't. He was nothing to her in the end. He had no right to be there. He couldn't go to a funeral. He couldn't say goodbye for real this time.

He'd been all talk before. She meant the world to him. He still loved her.

She couldn't be gone.

197 minutes ago, Cobra made the dumbest fucking decision of his whole entire damned existence. He agreed, when asked by Makarov just minutes before the funeral, to say a few words. The Guild Master had reasoned that Cobra knew Kinana far longer than anyone else, and Cobra had agreed to do it.

In his defense, his hearing had been off lately. Everything had been so muted. Once upon a time, he would have gladly welcomed the quiet, but not now. Now, it almost seemed as though her death had taken his power. His very will to live, his fighting spirit. She'd already taken his heart, so why not get the rest too?

As he stood at the podium and forced himself not to look at the open coffin beside him, Cobra drew a blank. He was frozen in place, wearing this god-forsaken suit that Jellal had forced him into, staring at a crowd of her friends, so orderly as they sat in the church pews. Her real friends. People who had so many good memories of the woman she'd been.

His mouth started moving without him realizing it.

"Kinana was… always Cubellios to me," he said. It was true. Even when he'd told her the opposite, she'd never stopped being Cubellios in his eye. "And the Cubellios that I knew was brave to a fault, funny as hell, and…"

He choked on the word loyal. He wasn't going to tarnish her fucking funeral by airing out their past like this.

"I don't deserve to be up here," he continued. "I knew her as a kid, and as a villain, fighting against all of you." He looked down at the podium that held the blank index card he'd tried to write a speech on. "In the end, when she became a Fairy, she stopped being the Cubellios that I knew. I'm sure she had those same qualities - no, I know she did. I can hear your memories of it all."

At just the mention of it, hundreds of memories of Kinana assaulted him from the members of her guild. Memories he had no part in, because he was never there for her. He always left her behind.

"I-I heard her calling for me," he said, frowning at the dark wood grain of the podium. "A month ago, her soul was calling me. I heard it…" His head lifted, and he set his attention on the one person he knew, without a doubt, could answer his unasked question: Makarov. Was Kinana trying to contact him, to tell him goodbye? Did she know this was happening, and there was nothing they could do to stop it?

The air rushed from his lungs when Makarov nodded.

"I heard her," he rasped. His hands gripped the podium tightly when his knees threatened to buckle. He couldn't do this. He could barely breathe, let alone try to keep himself composed in front of these people he didn't want to fucking be around.

It took every ounce of strength he possessed not to throw the podium across the church at the realization that he'd missed his chance to see her one last time. The stained glass windows closest to him weren't nearly as lucky when his Sound magic exploded out from him. Cobra's teeth ground together and he stepped back. He glared at the coffin, at her lax face and long lashes lying against her cheeks.

He stepped around the podium and stormed down the aisle between the pews, ignoring the shocked murmurs around him as his power flared twice more, uncontrolled, and shattered several stained glass windows before he made it outside.

Just before the doors closed, everyone heard his violent roar as he walked away from the funeral of his former love.

Ten minutes ago, Cobra heard her front door open and close. He listened from the roof as Lucy kicked off her shoes and changed her clothes. He wasn't surprised in the slightest when she climbed out the window and up the fire escape, then sat down on his left so he could see her, if he wanted. She didn't say a word.

She didn't have to.

He'd made a complete fool of himself in front of everyone, and Cobra knew that their opinions of him didn't fucking matter in the slightest. And still, somehow, he cared. Because this was beyond fucked up.

What had he ever done to deserve this?

"She was still lucid then," Lucy finally said. "When she started asking for you."

"I don't wanna hear this," he muttered. The last thing he wanted to know was how bad things had been.

"She talked to me a lot," Lucy continued. He could feel her staring at him. He refused to return her gaze. When he heard the first stirrings of a memory of Kinana lying in a hospital bed, his eye closed tightly to try and shut it out. "She said she wanted to see you one more time."

"Well, that didn't fucking happen," he spat. "I don't fucking care what she wanted. If she wanted me to be there for her on her deathbed, then maybe she should've kept her whore legs closed."

"You can't mean-"

Finally Cobra turned his glare toward her. "I mean exactly that." He would have stayed with her until the end. He would have loved her every single day, stayed by her side until she drew her final breath. But none of that had happened, because she'd fucked it all up.

"Cobra-"

"What, I'm supposed to lose my shit over her, just because she's dead?" he asked. Hell no. He wasn't going to do that. He'd cried enough over her when he'd left her six months ago. She was dead, and he didn't fucking care anymore. "That bitch ripped me to fucking shreds. I don't give a fuck about her!"

"Cob-"

"I didn't say it at the funeral, out of respect for your fucking Master," he snarled. "But she was the farthest thing from a good person! She was a grade-A cunt, and I'm glad she's dead."

"Liar," Lucy said.

He sneered at her, but it was then that he noticed how her brows had drawn together. Whether it was concern or anger, he wasn't sure. What he was sure of, was that Lucy calling him a liar only made him angrier. "What would you know?"

"I know you're a liar," she said again. He couldn't move quickly enough, not when her hand rested so gently on his cheek. What the hell was it that had him going still? Maybe the way she was looking at him. "Because if you didn't give a shit, like you so boldly claim, then you wouldn't be on my roof right now."

"I needed to be alone." He couldn't be around people right then. It had been hard enough trying to find the will to wake up and get his ass moving for the last four days. Standing at the front of a church, trying to think of nice things to say about the woman who'd betrayed him had taken what little energy he had.

"And, if you didn't care, then you wouldn't be crying," she said softly. His eye widened as her thumb spread moisture over his cheek. "It's okay to be upset."

"I'm not upset," he said. He wasn't fucking sad over her death. He didn't care about her anymore. "I'm pissed."

"It's okay to be pissed," she said, smiling gently.

He pulled in a trembling breath filled with the gentle scent of lilacs swirling in the air around them. "She was a selfish bitch," he whimpered. Who the hell did Kinana think she was, calling out to him like she had? "Sh-She had no right to do that to me."

Lucy nodded. He heard her. She understood how hard it must have been for him to have heard Kinana calling for him when, the last time he'd been with her, he'd found out she'd been cheating on him with Natsu, of all people. "You're right," she said. "It was selfish of her to do that. But, she wanted to see you one more time because she knew that she was dying. She wanted to talk about how things ended."

"It's fucked up…"

"It is," Lucy said. "She found out a couple weeks after-"

"I don't wanna hear it." Her lips clamped shut in an instant, and he heard how she forced herself to think about something else. She wasn't trying to force him to hear the truth. Could she tell he wasn't ready for it? Just that one action had a sob bursting past his lips, unbidden. "I'm not gonna fucking cry over her!"

"No one expects you to do that," she whispered. "It's okay to be angry."

"I am!" he bellowed. He was so fucking angry over it all. He hated her. He hated Kinana for doing this to him - for making him love her for years until his every breath was filled with her. And then, in an instant, it was gone. She was gone. He hadn't had enough time with her, really truly being hers. Two years. Two short years, he'd had to show her how he felt, and during that time, she'd gone off with Natsu. He didn't even know how long that had been going on before he'd learned the truth.

He didn't even know whether Natsu was with her when she died. Had they lasted when she and Cobra hadn't? Had Natsu been the one to hold her trembling hand and kiss her pale forehead? Had she accepted Natsu's love instead of Cobra's as the life faded from her eyes?

Cobra sniffled, and when he saw tears welling in Lucy's eyes as well, and her tender smile filled with understanding, he lost the will to fight anymore. In the next moment, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Lucy in a crushing hug. The fact that she held him just as tightly only made the tears that he didn't want to fall come faster.

Kinana had lied to him, kept secrets, made him believe that she loved him. She'd broken what little goodness had lived inside of him, and then she had the audacity to up and fucking die.

"I-I hate her," he cried.

"That's okay," Lucy sniffled against his hair. Her fingers drew gentle circles over his scalp. She comforted him when he didn't deserve it. "It's okay to still love her, too."

"I d-don't-"

"You don't have to lie, Cobra," she said, tightening her hold on his shoulders before he could consider pulling away. He held her tighter, too. He didn't want the comfort he'd gone so long without to disappear. "Things were complicated for you two. However you're feeling right now is justified."

He didn't know what to say to that.

"Just know that I'm here for you, okay? That's what friends are for."

And hearing that from her, in that moment, had another loud sob breaking free. He'd been so cruel to her six months ago, and she still thought of him as a friend. So even though Cobra didn't want to admit it out loud, he cried there with Lucy over the loss of Cubellios forever, and his regret that he'd never get the chance to hear her voice one last time.

Twenty minutes later, his tears had dried and he still held her in his arms. His head turned slightly and his nose nestled against her scalp. When he inhaled, he smelled lilacs again. So that was her? That gentle, soothing scent had come from the blonde in his arms. It suited her.

"Better?" she breathed. Cobra couldn't remember just when her head had shifted down to rest on his chest.

"Probably not," he said. "For now…" He sighed and closed his eye. Nothing was better, but he couldn't find the tears to shed anymore.

"You've got nothing left, huh?" she asked, smirking against his chest.

Cobra's hand slid up her arm to gently cup her shoulder. "How are you good at this shit?" he asked. "This is a seriously fucked up special skill."

"I'll be sure to put it on my resumé," she laughed. "Consoling grieving ex-criminals on rooftops."

"That sounds very specific," he muttered. "Do you do this shit often?"

Lucy tilted her head back to look up into his red, puffy eye. "Loads," she said, her smile widening a moment later. "I've actually got a schedule to keep. Rustyrose's goldfish died, and he should be here any minute. It's the third one this month."

Cobra didn't want it to happen, but he laughed. He laughed that strange surprised sort of laugh that just explodes from the depths of your soul. He also ended up accidentally spitting on Lucy's face, but she didn't say a word about it. The last thing he'd ever thought he would've done was laugh, not that day. Maybe not for a very long time. But she'd made him do just that, over the dumbest shit.

"You're so awkward," she teased while wiping her face with the back of her hand.

"You have no fucking clue," he said with a smirk. The truth was, he actually was awkward as fuck. He just hid it well. Hearing souls definitely helped him seem like he had all the answers just tucked away. It had helped him on too many occasions to count to not make a complete ass out of himself.

She smiled again and laid her head on his shoulder, wrapping her arms a little more securely around his waist.

And Cobra - who constantly claimed that he hated when people touched him - relished the contact. The gentleness of her embrace. The comfort she gave him with no expectation of anything more on his part. Even though he did keep holding her, Lucy's soul whispered one reassurance after another that he could let go whenever he wanted. There was no pressure at all.

Cobra wondered, as they sat in silence, how he could've lucked out so much in finding someone like Lucy to be a rock in his darkest hours.

Six hours later, it was time to leave. He didn't want to go, but at the same time, Cobra knew that he couldn't stay. He couldn't let himself depend on her for everything, even for just a day or so. It had been long enough, in Cobra's opinion, and he needed to head out.

Jellal and the others were waiting for him to come back, from what he could hear, and then they were going to leave Magnolia. The rest of his guild didn't really have much reason to stick around. They'd only made a point of stopping by because he and Kinana had been together, and no one wanted to try and keep him away from her.

Now, that was gone. There was no reason to stay.

Cobra took the bowl from Lucy's hand and walked to her kitchen before she could try and wash the dishes. She'd cooked. It was only fair for him to clean them. Or, at the very least, rinse them out and put them in the sink.

"I'm guessing you've gotta go," she called out. He froze before turning on the sink, listening to her soft, knowing laugh. "Cobra, you're welcome for as long as you need."

How the fuck did she know he was about to tell her that he was going to go? Did she think that he thought he'd simply overstayed his welcome?

Lucy stood from her small dining table and came to stop beside him. She turned on the water and grabbed a sponge, then soaped it. He was silent while handing her one of the bowls and setting the other in the sink. He watched her wash it out quickly, and took the bowl from her to rinse it and put it on the rack to dry. She smiled up at him, but he looked away and waited for the next dish. Then the forks. And the pan she'd used to make them some chicken to go with their salads.

Once it was done, he was at a loss for words. The last time he'd left her house, he'd used his anger as a way to say goodbye. And as a way to get her out of his life. But now he was back, and thinking about how he'd done things before. And he didn't know how to do this.

It was beyond frustrating. He hated not knowing what to do. He'd never had to tell someone goodbye like this. Because, as far as he was concerned, he wasn't going to see her again. His guild had no reason to come back to this town. Jellal and Erza were still dancing around their feelings for each other, so this was it.

He couldn't say I'll be back soon like he had with Kinana. But he didn't want to tell her goodbye. Lucy had been so kind to him, she deserved something more.

He had nothing to give.

He flinched when he felt her hand rest on his bicep. "If you really do have to go, I get it," she said. Cobra chewed his cheek and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I can walk you to the door."

They made their way over so he could get his boots on, and he listened in on her soul. She didn't want him to go either. Lucy worried about how he was doing, whether he was really ready to leave at all. But she didn't try to stop him. She could tell, based on how he was suddenly so withdrawn, that he felt like he needed to leave.

Cobra wasn't really sure what to do with that. He'd spent so much of his life feeling like he had all the answers, until that night he'd learned the truth about Kinana. Now, he questioned everything. He questioned what he heard, how much he could really trust the magic he'd put so much stock in for so long.

She didn't open the door for him, because - as her thoughts said - she wanted to let him make the choice for himself to leave. She didn't want to make him feel as though she was kicking him out.

His hand rested on the doorknob, and he hesitated. He couldn't look at her. He couldn't find a way to speak. He didn't know what to fucking say. Was he supposed to thank her for letting him cry all over her, yell at her when it wasn't her fucking fault, then cook for him… again? Should he apologize for how he'd left last time? Did he say see you soon or see you later or just goodbye?

"I'll uh…"

Lucy tapped his right shoulder, and he turned toward her so he could see her. And once he did, he saw her smiling up at him again. "I'm a hugger," she said. "Can I hug you goodbye?"

He was left speechless. So this really was goodbye. She'd said as much. He was surprised by the sudden pang in his chest at the realization that she thought the same thing. He couldn't let her know that, though. Cobra needed to sort his shit out, because this just wasn't fucking like him. So, instead of telling her yes, he rolled his eye at her. "What kinda question is that?" he muttered.

"Well, I figured-"

Cobra scoffed and turned his head toward the door again. He stayed silent while opening one arm. In an instant, she'd nestled against his side and rested her head on his chest again.

"I'll see you around?" she whispered.

"Maybe," he said. That was the best he could do. He couldn't see the future. It was kind of safe to assume they might bump into one another here and there, but it wasn't guaranteed. He wasn't going out of his way to meet up with her, but he wouldn't actively avoid her every time he heard her soul.

"Works for me," she said. She squeezed him just a little, then stepped back. "Be safe out there, 'kay?"

His arm dropped to his side once her warmth disappeared. When was the last time someone told him to be safe? Cobra nodded, then turned the knob.

"If you guys end up in town again, you're welcome to stop by," she said as he opened the door.

"Don't count on it," he muttered. His foot struggled to take a single step, but he forced himself to move.

"Well, the invitation stands," she said. Lucy watched him walk into the hallway, then leaned against the jamb. "See ya, Cobra."

He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket, and glanced back at her one last time. Just long enough to see the way her arms crossed beneath her breasts, her relaxed posture, how her hair looked pulled into low pigtails. He memorized the way she smiled at him. "Yeah," he said. He didn't have to force a small smile to carefully curve his lips after turning and walking toward the stairs. It wasn't goodbye forever. "See ya."