Chapter 18: Reasons

When they heard him ask for a lawyer, Captain Cragen knocked on the window signaling for Olivia and Nick to rejoin them in his office. Nick gathered the pictures of the victims from the table and returned them to the folder then he and Olivia stood up and left the interrogation room. Christina wondered whether the captain would let her go in to talk to him. Technically they didn't need a confession. They had his DNA, his prints and the knife they were sure he'd used for the murders. All they needed was to formally arrest him and send him through booking to get his DNA into the system to compare to what they'd found on the bodies. It was open and shut. Nevertheless, she wanted to know why he'd done this.

"Alright, that's it" Barba said grabbing his briefcase. "Send him to processing. Get him a lawyer".

"Wait, we're not gonna try to get a confession?" Olivia asked.

"We don't need it" he said.

"Well, the families want answers" Nick said jumping in, "We should at least try to get some understanding of why he did this so we can explain it to them".

"You know just as well I as I do that there are no reasons". He turned and headed for the door.

"There're reasons" Chris said stopping him from leaving. "Maybe not any good ones but still, reasons".

"And I'm guessing you want to be the one to get those reasons from him?" he asked.

"Well, he did ask for me" she said with a shrug. He immediately shook his head.

"No, absolutely not" he said sitting his briefcase down again. "You and Rollins, you're witnesses. He attacked you. You can't take his confession. And, like I said, we don't need it. He left his DNA at every scene. If he takes this to trial, there's no jury that won't convict him, regardless of them not having his reasons".

"What about the families?" Fin asked. "Don't they have the right to know why they're loved ones were targeted?"

"Look, it's not like it'll be the first time I've questioned a suspect after he's attacked me. I've never had a problem before" Chris said. She was trying to stay casual but on the inside she desperately wanted them to send her in the room.

"It's up to you counselor" Cragen said looking to Barba for a decision. They waited patiently while he debated in his head.

"Alright" he finally said agreeing to send Chris in, "But watch your step" he warned her. She pulled her long black hair back into a tight ponytail, took the file they'd put together on the case from Nick then took a deep breath and walked into the interrogation room. She walked over to the table, put the file down and then sat across from him. She didn't say anything at first. She just stared at him and he stared back her, taking in every feature of her face.

"I was told you wanted to talk to me" she said in a flat tone.

"It's nice to finally see your face up close and personal, in good lighting" he said pointing to the lights above them. "You really are an exquisitely beautiful woman" he complimented her. Chris kept staring at him, completely unaffected by his flattery. "You're not going to say anything?" he asked.

"Exquisitely beautiful is redundant" she said still staring blankly at him. He chuckled lightly at her.

"And smart too" he said. "If you showed a little more….feeling, you'd be the whole package".

"Is that why you wanted to talk to me?" she asked with a small smirk. "To tell me that I'm beautiful and smart?"

"And Amanda" he went on, not acknowledging her question, "she's…she's really quite beautiful as well. And smart. She handles all the financials for your business right?" he asked rhetorically. "I would've thought it would be the other way around. When I first saw you two together, I pegged you as the one who'd "wear the pants" in the relationship but you wear the…well not the pants. At least that's what I thought when I saw you in the kitchen baking. Then I heard you talking about your trouble as a teenager and you wrangling your family, and in the bedroom…" he paused as he thought back to her night of lovemaking with Amanda. "Well, I'll just say that I was thoroughly impressed and there was no doubt left in my mind about who wears the pants". Christina just sat there and listened to him pontificate about the ridiculous stereotype about pants in a gay relationship. "You really don't talk much do you? I mean, not when you're not with your wife and your little group of friends….oh but wait. They're not really your friends are they?" he asked. "They're your co-workers". Chris detected in his voice that he was upset by her deception. "Is Amanda even really your wife?"

"No" she said simply. He clenched and unclenched his fists and breathed deeply to control his anger.

"Is she even a lesbian?" he asked.

"No" she said again.

"Was any of it real?" he asked getting more and more angry.

"No" she said for the third time. She still had a blank expression on her face and no emotion in her voice. Amanda shifted uncomfortably as she watched from behind the mirror and heard Christina say that nothing that happened between them was real. She couldn't tell if she was saying it to rile up the suspect or because she really meant it. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard his fists slam down on the table. "Why so angry Norman?" Chris asked, saying his name in a mocking tone.

"Are you even a lesbian?" he asked still ignoring her questions. She thought about whether she should answer him truthfully or not.

"Yes, I am" she said deciding to be honest. He seemed to calm down in light of her admission. Maybe, she'd be able to answer his questions after all.

"May I pray for you?" he asked.

"No" she answered quickly.

"But you're sick" he said, "Afflicted with the disease of homosexuality. I must pray for you".

"Prayer doesn't work" she said leaning forward, resting her elbows on the table. "My mother's been praying for years". She could tell that he wasn't going to stop arguing about praying for her so she decided to move the conversation along. "Look, Norman" she said using the same mocking tone as before, "you asked for me for a reason. I know it wasn't because you wanted to pray for me so…why don't we get to it".

"What do you do?" he asked. Chris had no idea what he was talking about it. "To make women want you?" he added. Chris leaned back in her chair in disbelief. That's what he needed to know?

"I don't do anything" she said.

"No, you have to do something?" he said leaning forward in interest. "I watched you, for days. You attract the attention of everyone in every room you enter. Women flock to you. I saw it the first time I saw you, at the bar". He needed to understand her charm.

"I don't do anything" she said again.

"Stop saying that!" he yelled. "You have to tell me what makes you so…intriguing. Why do women, straight women, want….you?" he asked. Finally, Christina understood what all of this was about.

"So, that's why you did all of this?" she asked. He clearly didn't understand what she was asking. "You want to know why you're wife, your straight wife, left you for another woman" she said as more of a statement than a question. "That's why you chose couples that reminded you of Lily and Hannah, right?" He didn't answer her question. He just looked at her quietly, hoping that she'd be the one to give him the answers he was looking for. "Ok, here it is" she said leaning for again. "You ready?" He nodded his head and waited in anticipation of what she was going to say. "I'm a woman" she said simply. Then she leaned back in her chair and waited for his reaction.

"What does that mean?" he asked. "You're a woman and that's all it takes for you get other woman to live in sin with you?"

"Come on, Norman" she said rolling her eyes. "Let's stop pretending that this is about God and what's good in his eyes. We both know that's just a smokescreen for what this is really about. This is about you and your resentment over your wife leaving you". He just sat quietly, scowling at her. He wasn't any different than any other perp. He was just another man who didn't know how to take rejection like a normal, well-adjusted adult so he acted out. Unfortunately, his acting out involved rape and murder. "Ok". She decided to have a little fun with him before she gave him the real answer to his question, if she gave him an answer at all. "You want answers? I'll give you some answers. Women like me because I'm beautiful and smart and sometimes I'm funny. I'm nice….most of the time and I'm pretty honest. Women like honesty. I'm told that I have a certain amount of confidence that makes me…somewhat more attractive than the average person. And you're right. I don't show a lot of feeling which makes people have a certain amount of intrigue. It makes me…" she paused trying to think of the right word to use, "inaccessible. And you know what they say, people always want what they can't have. So there it is. That is why women want me" she finished. He looked unsatisfied with her answer so she continued. "As for why straight women want me, I could make some guesses" she offered. He nodded his head and clear his throat then leaned in anticipation, "But….I think I'll keep my guesses to myself".

"Where's Amanda? I want to talk to her" he said wanting to move on since she refused give him the answers he wanted. She laughed.

"No" she said shaking her head. "You're not in charge. You don't get to make special requests. You wanna know why women choose me, straight women; specifically Amanda" she said going on giving fake answers to his fake questions. "Well, she didn't choose me. This was a job. It was all an act. But if she had chosen me over a man it probably would've been because I'm a woman" she said giving the same vague answer again. She was enjoying seeing him squirm. He was one of those men that could never understand a woman wanting to be with another woman. The type that thought that a woman needed a man for everything: providing, protecting, pleasure, love. He couldn't understand how his wife could find another woman more desirable than him. She decided that she'd take a chance at doing what would torture him more than anything. "That means that my guess at what a woman likes will always be better than yours. I know better what women want, what they feel, what keeps them coming….back" she said with a smirk, "than any man ever could. It's not hard to figure out unless you're a man or you're clueless. Unfortunately for you, you're both. I won't lie, I've had my share of straight women and they're all the same. They have the same questions that you have. They want to know what it's like. What's so good about it, about being with another woman? And I have their answers" she said arrogantly. "You will never be able to make a woman feel the way I can make a woman feel or the way Hannah made your wife feel. But straight women are…straight women. It's all about the sex to them so they always go back to what they came from. But your wife didn't come back. Sorry to break it to you, but that probably means that she was never straight to begin with".

"You're wrong" he said angrily. "Lily was a heterosexual just as God made her. It was that deviant Hannah. She filled her head with lies and introduced her soul to evil. She was happy being my wife before that…that devil came along!" he yelled standing up from his chair. "Its women like you, possessed by evil spirits that are corrupting the God-fearing women like my wife, filling their lives with sin. You're despicable!"

"Well, if you have all the answers what do you need me for? Or Amanda?" she asked. "More importantly" she opened the file with the pictures of his victims inside, "why did you need Rachel and Jessica or Lauren and Isabelle or Hallie and Kaitlyn?" she asked placing their pictures one by one on the table in front of him. He looked at their pictures and went through it all in his mind. All the questions he'd asked them. All the unsatisfactory answers they'd given. He didn't know what answers would be enough for him but he knew he hadn't heard them.

"They were liars" he said pushing their pictures away. "The bible speaks clearly about women laying with other women being unnatural".

"Romans 1: 26" she said receiving a surprised look from him. "What you don't think I know scripture?" she asked. "How else would I know that you're full of shit?"

"You're obviously beyond redemption but Amanda isn't. I want to talk to her" he said in calm voice.

"No" she said simply. "I told you. You're not in charge. Anyways, I like Amanda. I think I'm gonna keep her. It's like you said. She's beautiful and smart and she shows a lot more feeling than I do". Amanda decided to excuse herself from the room. She didn't want to hear anything else Chris had to say about her. "You're pathetic" she said bluntly. "You try to hide behind this façade of a good pastor carrying out the will of God, ridding the world of abominations but really you're just a man who's small and angry because he lost his wife to a woman".

"No, I'm angry because I couldn't save her from her evil desires" he argued.

"You're angry because your wife left you for another woman and your ego is bruised. You kidnapped these women" she said pushing their pictures back towards him. "You beat them and raped them, not because you wanted them to answer your idiotic questions but because you couldn't get to your ex-wife and her lover so you took it out on them. And when that wasn't enough to get out all of your anger and frustration, you killed them. But that wasn't enough either, was it? The excitement you got from the thought of getting revenge on your wife, it wasn't enough to do it just once. But you had it all wrong this entire time. Taking all these women who looked like Lily and Hannah was wrong. And you might've have found Amanda and I and thought that we were perfect but you were wrong about that too. She's not you're wife and I'm not Hannah" she said. "And it wouldn't have mattered how many blonde haired, blue eyed and dark haired, green eyed women you found. There's only one couple that can give you the satisfaction you're looking for. And seeing as how you'll never see them again, you know because you're going to prison, that feeling of fulfilment that you're wanting….you're never going to have it". She gathered the pictures and put them back in the folder before standing up from the table. She walked over to the door then turned back to look at him. "So the way that you physically tortured those women is how you'll be tortured mentally for the rest of your pathetic life. As you should be".

"You can't do this" he said angrily. "You can't just….you can't just…"

"I can't just what?" she asked trying to pull it out of him. "I can't just leave you wanting for answers, leave you without the peace of mind you're looking for. Without telling you all the ways that you were….so inadequate that you're wife left you for another woman, a woman like me. We both know that nothing I tell you is going to be satisfying" she said torturing him in not quite the same way that he'd tortured his victims but what was as good as she was going to get. "Anyways, I didn't come in here for you to find out what you need to know. I came in here to find out what I need to know. And now that I know what I need to know, this conversation is over. Was there a particular lawyer that you wanted to call?" she asked smugly. She opened the door and walked back into the captain's office, ignoring his yelling for her to come back. She shut the door and leaned back against it, letting her head fall back and her eyes close. She took deep breaths to collect herself before opening her eyes to find everyone staring at her.

"You ok?" Cragen asked. She looked at everyone and noticed that Amanda was missing.

"Where's Amanda?" she asked.

"She stepped out" Fin said. "I don't think she appreciated what you had to say about her in there" he added with a hint of lack of appreciation of his own in his voice. She ignored him, not really caring what he thought and left the office to go find Amanda. She wasn't at her desk or in any of the bathrooms. She asked some other detectives and uniforms if they'd seen her and one pointed in the direction of the crib. She climbed the steps and looked through the small window on the door. Amanda was inside sitting on one of the beds with her elbows on her knees, wringing her hands and staring down at the floor. She opened the door and went inside, closing it behind her before going to sit next to her on the bunk.

"Hey" she said softly. Amanda didn't say anything back. She just sat there, continuing to stare at the floor. "You know I didn't mean anything I said in there. I was just…trying to get under his skin" she said. Amanda ignored her and sat there quietly. Her mind went over and over the things she'd heard Chris say in the interrogation room. "Amanda" Chris said scooting closer to her on the bed. "You're really not gonna talk to me?" she asked. She couldn't believe that anything she'd said downstairs could upset Amanda this much. She continued to sit there like Chris wasn't even in the room let alone sitting there trying to talk to her. "Fine" she said getting up from the bed and walking to the door. "Let me know when you've gotten over yourself". Amanda looked up and glared at her. Chris opened the door and walked out going back down to the captain's office and shut the door behind her.

"What's going on?" she asked walking into what seemed to be an important decision.

"We have the families here" Cragen started explaining, "in the interview rooms. Olivia and Fin went and talked to them. They explained why their daughters were chosen by this creep". She nodded her head in understanding.

"Ok, so why do I sense that there's a problem?" she asked. The door opened behind her. She turned to see Amanda enter the office.

"They their wedding bands back" Olivia said, "But he won't tell us where he put them".

"They're not at his apartment?"

"CSU went over the place with a fine toothed comb" Fin said jumping in. "There's no evidence he ever took his victims there and they didn't find any rings matching the descriptions the families gave of the wedding bands".

"He's not giving it up unless he gets some sort of deal" Nick said. Chris and Amanda both looked to Barba.

"Absolutely not" he said seeing them look at him. "There's no way this guy is getting a deal. We've got him dead to rights on six murders and assault of an officer".

"So what he gets ten, maybe twenty years off of his sentence? He'll still be in prison for the rest of his life" Amanda said.

"If not then he lives with the satisfaction of knowing he still has his trophies" Chris said. She didn't want this asshole having any piece of any of his victims or any power over their families.

"DA wants to go for the death penalty. This is an easy win with a hate crime enhancement." he said, "He's not going to cut a deal". Chris scoffed.

"That's great" she said sarcastically, "Six women are dead, their families are in shambles and he's using this to tack on some votes in the next election" she said annoyed.

"Chris" Cragen said in a warning tone.

"What? Am I the only one who thinks that this is ridiculous?" she asked looking around at everyone.

"No, but we can't get everything we want" Barba said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was about what we wanted" she said. "I thought this was about the victims and their families and making sure that bastard isn't able to exert any more control over them".

"She's right" Olivia said in agreement. "We can't let him keep anything that belonged to them. He's getting off on knowing that he has something the families want".

"Why don't you talk to your boss about taking the death penalty off the table?" Nick asked. "You have him on six murders with a hate crime enhancement plus assault of a police officer. It's like Rollins said he still be spending the rest of his life behind bars".

"It's not like he'll be getting off easy" Fin said. Barba listened to all of their arguments and considered what they were saying.

"Alright" he said after some thought, "Let me make some calls, see what I can do". He grabbed his briefcase and walked out of the office. Amanda looked over to see Chris looking at her and she held her gaze for a moment before looking away. They started discussing Chris and Amanda moving out of the undercover pad and back to their respective places. TARU had already started taking down the cameras and they'd brought in people to fix the holes in the walls. Fin said he'd call to find out when they'd need to be moved out. Barba came back in the office and told them they had a deal. The DA was willing to drop it down to life without the possibility of parole if he agreed to give up the victims' property. Olivia and Barba went into the interrogation room to talk to Rankins and Trevor Langan, his lawyer. He refused to tell them where he'd taken his victims and where he'd put their wedding bands. Barba made it clear that this was his one and only offer. He wouldn't be shaving off any more time from his sentence in exchange for the information. He finally relented and said he would give up the information but he'd only tell it Amanda. With that, they left the room and went back to the captain's office.

"What is it with this guy?" Nick asked annoyed by his antics. "What does think talking to Rollins is gonna get him?"

"Answers about his wife" Olivia said.

"What makes him think that?" Cragen asked. "She's never met his wife".

"Neither had any of his victims" Chris interjected, "but he still took them trying to get answers" she said using air quotes around answers. She didn't think for a second that this was about him wanting her to answer his questions. "He's an idiot who thinks that every blonde with blue eyes who's ever been with a woman must have the same reasons as his wife. Or at least that what he wants us to think he thinks".

"You think he has some other agenda?" Barba asked.

"Yeah' she said nodding her head. "It's just another way for him to be in control. He thinks we'll do what he wants because he has a bargaining chip". Cragen stood up from leaning on his desk.

"Then we don't give him what he wants". He took his hand out of his pocket and pointed at Christina. "Reyes, you go in there and don't come out without a location" he ordered. She nodded her head and took a deep breath as she walked over to the door to the interrogation and opened it. She went in and was met by a scowl from their perp.

"What are you doing here?" he asked angrily. Chris walked over to the table and pushed the legal pad and pen that were sitting on it towards him.

"Write down the address to location you took your victims and the location of where you left their wedding bands" she said. Her voice was again void of any emotion and her stance was uncompromising.

"I'm not telling you anything. I made it very clear to the other cops and to that lawyer" he said pushing the pad and pen away. "I'll only talk to Amanda".

"Detective Rollins isn't going to be coming into this room. You'll be talking to me" she said sternly. He shook his head from side to side.

"No, I won't. I won't tell you". He sat back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. Langan stood up from his chair and buttoned his suit jacket.

"I think my client has made it clear that…."

"Shut up" Chris said interrupting him. "You will tell me" she said turning her attention back to Rankins, "because if you don't you'll be tried and convicted and there isn't a jury in the world that won't sentence you to death by lethal injection. You might believe that you're a God-fearing man and that dying is nothing to be afraid of but we both know that's not true. You're a coward and you, like any other fraud out there, are afraid to die. That's why you're gonna pick up that pen and you're write down what I wanna know" she said pushing the pad and pen back to him. "Now I could be wrong but I don't think I am so", she pulled out the chair in front of her and sat down, "I'm gonna call your bluff. I'm gonna sit here until I get what I want. And let's face it Norman, I've gotten everything I want up to this point. No sense in that changing now". She sat across the chair from him and stared him down. He and his lawyer could both see that she wasn't bluffing. Amanda wouldn't be coming in the room and she wouldn't be leaving until he told her what she wanted to know. Langan leaned down and whispered in his ear, telling him not to be stupid. It was a good deal for all the evidence they had and he should take it. He stared her down for a while longer just to be sure she wouldn't give. He eventually picked up the pen and wrote down the address to the space he'd used to take his victims.

"It's all there" he said. His voice was soft and weak. He knew it was over for him. He had nothing left. Chris stood up from her chair and picked up the legal pad.

"Nice doing business with you" she said sarcastically before walking out the door back into the captain's office. She showed the Captain what he'd written and he told them to go and check it out. Barba agreed not to finalize the deal until they were sure he'd told them the truth. The address he's given them was to a house that wasn't far from where he'd dumped the bodies in Hell's Kitchen. He'd used the basement to hold his victims and carry out his torture. The walls were thick enough for him to have held the women there for days, even weeks, without anyone hearing their screams. There was dried blood still on the floor and a hose in the corner. They figured the hose was used to clean up after he dumped the bodies. The blood still there must've belonged to his last victims, Hallie and Kaitlyn. CSU started working on collecting samples to take to the lab while they searched the rest of the house. One of the upstairs rooms was used as his viewing center. There were ten monitors in all and the wall behind his computer set up was covered with surveillance photos of all his victims as well as Chris and Amanda. He'd put all their photos in the center of the other collages. They were his focal point. He had more pictures of them than any of the other couples plastered to the wall. There were pictures of them out with Frannie and stills of them around the apartment: in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, shower. The pictures of them in the park at their picnic with Olivia, Fin, Nick and the kids were the best. They looked so happy together. Chris saw a stand with a jewelry box sitting on top of it across the room. She went over and opened it, revealing three sets of wedding bands. She grabbed the box and bagged it then went over to help take down all the photos to be added to evidence.

Once they had everything they needed, they headed back to the precinct. Barba finalized the deal with Rankins and his lawyer. All that was left was filing paperwork and getting a court date for a sentencing hearing. The Chief of D's stopped by the precinct while they were getting their paperwork done. He spent a few minutes in the captain's office before coming out to address the squad.

"I just want to say that I appreciate all of your hard work on this case" he said to all of them. "I understand that it wasn't always comfortable or easy but you all did one hell of a job". He turned and looked at Chris and saw the bandage on her neck. "I trust you're going to be ok?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'll be fine" she said. It was clear from her tone of voice that she still wasn't a fan of his. He ignored the defiance in her tone and again congratulated them on a job well done before making his way out of the precinct. It was nearing two in the morning and they were all tired. Cragen told them to finish up their paperwork, leave it on his desk, and then take the day off. They sat back down at their desks and worked quickly, all wanting to finish and go home to get some shut eye. Fin finished first and headed out. Then Olivia, followed by Amanda, Nick, and finally Christina. Even though Amanda was finished, she stayed and waited for Chris to finish so that they could leave together. Chris didn't get that memo because when she finished, she just grabbed her jacket and bag and headed for the elevator. Amanda grabbed her jacket and followed her out of the squad room. They rode down and walked out of the precinct together.