Chapter 25: Spiraling Down
When Chris walked back into the squad everyone was already back at their desks. She sat down and turned her laptop on to get back to work. She reached for her back pocket to pull out her phone but it wasn't there. She sighed and rolled her eyes at herself when she realized she left it in Beth's car. She picked up the phone on her desk and started to dial her number when she felt someone's breath on her ear. She turned and almost jumped out her skin when she saw Beth was there, just inches from her face.
"Jesus Christ" she said clutching her chest. "You scared the shit out of me" she said taking deep breaths.
"You left this in my car" she said holding out her phone to her. Chris looked around and saw that everyone was taking glances at her and Beth. She knew they remembered her from the restaurant and she was sure that if nobody else would give her shit about this, Fin would. She took her phone and thanked Beth for bringing it to her.
"I'll talk you soon?" she asked heading for the door. Chris nodded silently and waited until she'd left to turn back around to her computer. She could feel Fin's eyes boring into her back. She got up and went over to make herself a cup of coffee. Fin got up from his desk and went over to talk to her.
"So that's how you are, huh? You play Rollins, hurt her and already planning to jump into it with someone else" he said keeping his voice down.
"First of all, I didn't play her. Secondly, I'm not jumping into anything with anyone else. Beth and I had lunch. That's it". She poured coffee into her sugar and stirred it with a straw.
"Yeah right" he said unconvinced. "And you think that's all she wants?"
"I know it's not but I do know how to say no, Fin" Chris said. She knew that he and Amanda were good friends outside the job but she didn't like he was sticking his nose in their business. If Amanda felt a certain way about her having lunch with Beth, then she should be the one to talk to her.
"That's not what I heard" he said accusingly.
"Well, you shouldn't believe everything you hear". She threw her straw in the trash, picked up her coffee cup and went back to her desk. They spent the rest of day in relative silence. Nothing new came in so they made themselves keep occupied with paperwork. Chris left the squad at six o'clock to go home and make dinner for her family. Olivia left shortly after so she could get her house ready for later that evening. Amanda left to go to a meeting while Nick and Fin stuck around to hold down the fort. A couple hours later they were in Olivia's apartment. They'd already had dinner and a couple glasses of wine and Fin was asking when they'd be done so he could leave. Amanda poured everyone another glass of wine so the Captain could make a toast and tell everyone some good news. Since it was first announced that Olivia was being promoted to Sergeant, they were all nervous that she'd have to move to a different precinct. None of them wanted that. Luckily, because of all the changes happening at one pp they didn't have to worry anymore. They couldn't spare a new sergeant for the unit so Olivia would be staying on at SVU. Her role as a supervisor would be more official and Reyes would be partnered with Amaro from now on. They all raised their glasses to Liv, happy that she'd be staying with the team. They finished their drinks and shared some small talk. Nick decided to call it a night and said his goodbyes before making his way out of the apartment. Chris tried to talk to Amanda again but she wanted nothing to do with her. She said her goodbyes and left the apartment as well. Downstairs, she caught up with Nick and asked for a ride to the train. They were walking to his car when they saw a uniformed officer chasing a young male get hit by a car. Rollins stayed with the injured officer and Amaro joined the partner in the chase. It ended in an apartment building with the uniformed officer being shot in the leg and Amaro shooting the fourteen year old suspect. It wasn't long before the place was crawling with cops, all searching for the suspect's gun which wasn't recovered after the chase. Amaro's gun was taken for evidence and he was sent to the hospital to be examined. IAB started their investigation and it was obvious to Chris right away that there was bad blood between the units. To make matters even worse, Brian was part of the investigation.
Things happened quickly but it was clear that IAB was hanging Nick out to dry. They tried angling the shooting as poor judgment or impairment on Amaro's end because of his drinks earlier that evening. The uniform officer wasn't being much help and they still hadn't found the gun or the real perp. The investigation continued over the next couple days. Everyone was questioned about the night of the shooting. He was arrested, arraigned and released on bail. Then his house was shot at, while his mom and daughter were inside, by three young black males and he went after them with a baseball bat. Olivia tried to control him but his anger was understandably bubbling over. He sent his daughter back to DC with her mom and went to stay at Liv's place. He had a talk with Maria who said she wanted full custody of their daughter until his case settled. There was no telling when it'd be settled or what the outcome would be. He had a good lawyer but there wasn't much on his side. He figured it was time to cut his losses. He decided to make a deal.
When the DA refused to take his plea unless it included the hate crime enhancement, meaning a felony conviction on his record, he decided to take his chances with the grand jury. Amanda had to testify and things didn't seem to be going well for Amaro. Chris had put her efforts to reconcile with her on hold. All of their focus was on what was going on with Nick. He was another member of the squad being railroaded by IAB and they weren't at all happy about it. It came time for him to decide if he wanted to testify in front of the grand jury and he decided to speak up for himself. His lawyer thought it was a bad idea but he ignored her and it turned out, it was the right thing. The grand jury refused to indict and he was free to go. He'd be on desk duty for a while because of the shooting but he had his badge, his freedom, and he wouldn't lose his daughter. Now that he was back in the squad, Cragen had all of his detectives and his sergeant right where he wanted them. He chose that time to announce his retirement. Everyone could tell it hit Liv the hardest. He'd been there since her start in SVU. She didn't know how she'd get on without him. Not only was he leaving but he was leaving her in charge. She didn't know if she was ready but she would soon find out. As much as it hurt to see him go, she didn't know anyone on the force that deserved it more. It was bittersweet moment for all of them, even Chris who'd only been there a short time. They could all sense that a lot of changes were on the horizon and hoping that they were all good.
Olivia's first case in charge of the squad was of a teenaged girl found being assaulted in an alley. Amanda showed up late to the hospital after a late night of drinking and gambling. She'd been so stressed out with fighting with Chris, Amaro almost going to jail, and the Captain retiring that she hadn't been to a meeting in almost two weeks. She finally said to hell with it and went out to play cards. She'd been out late and had barely gotten any sleep when she got the call to meet Benson at the hospital. She made up a lie about needing to take Frannie to the vet to explain her tardiness. Olivia gave her a short lecture and they went to interview the victim. The case ended up taking them Jersey and Amanda found herself in Atlantic City. She was late, again, to meet Barba for a sit down with a judge to get their victim out of a juvenile detention center. She was butting heads with the DA and her attitude was all over the place. Everyone could see it, especially Chris. She knew Amanda was gambling again but she didn't say anything. Amanda was still refusing to talk to her because she didn't feel like Chris really wanted to be with her. She told her until she was ready to talk to her, really talk to her, then outside of work they had nothing to say to each other. So she didn't say anything about her gambling. It wasn't her concern anymore. The case ended well and Amanda felt like she'd actually done some good for the victim. Now she just had to work on doing some good for herself.
The squad's next case was a missing teenager, another young girl. Her parents came home to a ransacked house and blood in their bedroom. She was found on the roof of a building, threatening to jump. Amanda was sent up to try to talk her down. She did her best but the girl was hysterical and nothing Amanda said was calming her down. She jumped from the roof but Amanda had bought enough time for the fire department to get into place and blow up the inflatable. She was caught, unharmed, and taken to the hospital. Even though the fall didn't hurt her, Amanda's stomach fell when she watched her jump. She couldn't help thinking about Lindsay and how it must've been for her in her last moments. She wished she could've been there to try to talk her down. But then she thought it might've have ended the same way. She managed to keep herself together throughout the case. She didn't show up late or draw any undue attention to herself. Still Chris could see that she was spiraling and she couldn't decide if she wanted to step in or let her hit bottom. She thought about talking to Fin about it. He was still upset with her about the way things had ended between her and Amanda but he cared a lot about his partner and she knew that if she asked him, he'd step in. But she didn't ask.
The next few weeks went by and Chris had stopped trying to talk to Amanda. She was in her own world, dealing with her parents and her sister. There was already so much on her plate without having to deal with Amanda's gambling problem. She knew that she couldn't be with her while that was going on so she decided to let their relationship go until the time came that they were both in a better position to be together; if the time came. They'd just finished the case about a comedian who made rape jokes and turned out he thought it was funny because he was a rapist himself. Chris used the showers at the precinct and then changed into jeans and a crop top. Her hair was naturally curled and she wore a little make up. She was sitting at her desk finishing up some paperwork so she could get out of there when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned around and saw Beth standing there and she strained not to roll her eyes. She'd told her to call when she got there and she would come down but she came up instead. She had a feeling that Beth was intentionally showing her face around the squad room because she wanted people, particularly Amanda, to know that it was her Chris was going out with. She really didn't like that.
"Hey. I just need to finish this" she said gesturing to the papers in front of her. "It'll just take a couple minutes. Sit down". Beth sat down in the chair next to Chris' desk to wait. Nick and Fin had already finished and gone home. Amanda was sitting at her desk pulling overtime. Chris assumed she needed the money to pay off her gambling debts. Olivia was still in her office, presumably waiting for Chris to turn in her reports. She finished them up then got up from her desk and delivered them to Benson, who complimented her look. She also told her how much she appreciated her being professional about her situation with Rollins. It was one less thing she had to worry about. While Chris was in the office talking to Olivia, Beth and Amanda were having a silent battle out in the squad room. Amanda could feel Beth's eyes on her but tried her best to ignore her. She finally couldn't take it anymore. She turned around and locked eyes with the woman who was obviously staking claim on her girlfriend; well her ex-girlfriend. Technically, they hadn't broken up. They'd just agreed to take a break from each other until they were both in a better place but with the way things were going between them, they might as well have said that they were over. Amanda didn't look away from Beth and Beth didn't look away from Amanda. Neither one of them was willing to back down from the other. Chris walked out of Benson's office and saw them staring each other down. She wasn't sure if they'd exchanged words but the look they were giving each other was enough. She walked over to her desk, gathered her things and then quickly got Beth out of the squad room. When they got on the elevator Chris pretended to have forgotten something. She quickly got off and told Beth she'd meet her at the car then went back to the squad room to talk to Amanda. She went over to her desk and sat down in the chair next to it. "I know you're still mad at me and that you don't want to talk to me but I just wanted to make sure that you know….I haven't given up on us. I know we haven't been talking but I do still want to try again".
"I noticed" she said sarcastically.
"Beth and I are just friends" she said knowing she was talking about her going out with her ex. Amanda gave her a look that said she wasn't at all convinced that that was all they were. "You know what I noticed?" she asked. "I noticed that you…." she paused and thought through what she was about to say. She decided that the middle of the squad room wasn't the best place to tell her that she knew she was gambling again. But she was sure that Amanda knew what she was going to say. "Never mind" she whispered. "I'll see you later". She got up and left the squad room again, leaving Amanda to work alone.
The next day was Amanda's day off. She went to a bar near her apartment to watch a game she'd placed a bet on. The clock was running down and it looked like her team was going to pull through for the win. That was until the final seconds of the game when a ref made a horrible call. She couldn't even watch the end of it. She just sat down at the bar and ordered another drink. She had no idea how she was going to get the money she owed. When she took Frannie out for a walk, she ran into her bookie who, in not so many words, threatened her and her dog. She assured him that she would get his money even though she didn't know yet how she'd make it happen. She finished her walk with Frannie then went home and paced around her apartment trying to think of what to do. She considered asking Chris for help but that thought quickly left her. Then she decided to call someone she'd told herself she wanted nothing to do with anymore. He told her to meet him at his bar so she left her apartment and headed over. She was sitting at the bar having another drink when Nate walked in. He went behind the bar, opened the register and got her the money she needed but he had his own condition for lending it to her. Her first thought was that he wanted sex and he could see that was where her mind went. But he didn't want that. He wanted her to go to a meeting with him. She really needed the money so she agreed. She went to the meeting with him that night, she shared and then she went home. She spent the rest of her weekend at home, just her and Frannie.
When she went into work on Monday morning, Olivia informed her that she was in the top ten for most overtime in the city. She made up an excuse about getting a lot of cases at one time, along with holiday spending tapping her out, but the truth was she needed that money to pay off her gambling debts. She'd have to cut back on her time now that Benson was on her about it. Chris came in and saw that Fin and Amanda were already at their desks. She went over to her desk and took off her coat, scarf, hat and gloves.
"Is there a blizzard out there or something?" Fin jokingly asked, noticing how bundled up she'd been.
"It's freezing out there" she groaned. "I don't know how you people do this for four months every winter season".
"You'll get used to it" Amanda said sitting down at her desk with her coffee. Chris looked at her, surprised that she'd said something to her. Last time she checked, they weren't speaking. Amanda gave her a soft smile and she returned it. Maybe they would work things out after all. A man named Larry Jones walked up to Amanda's desk. It appeared that she knew him. She introduced him as a someone she knew from back home. He asked for her help to find his missing nephew who'd been in the city for the weekend visiting Hudson on a recruitment trip. She explained the situation to Benson and promised she wouldn't put in for the time. She just wanted to do a favor for an old friend. When she got the go ahead she needed, she went with Fin to talk to the coach and some of the players to see about Cedric's whereabouts. The inquiry turned into a tentative investigation when there was suspicion that Cedric had been sexually assaulted as payback for committing to another school before coming to New York. Things spiraled out of control and Cedric attempted suicide because of fear that his assault, which was videotaped, would go viral. He survived but without a chance of ever playing football again. Amanda felt horrible about it. If she hadn't pushed and pushed for an investigation this never would've happened to Cedric; at least that's what she thought. They all tried to convince her that it wasn't her fault but she wasn't hearing any of it. There wasn't anything more she could do for Cedric except to find a way to charge everyone involved with his assault. After his suicide attempt, they found out that one of the hostesses who'd entertained Cedric was sent by the football coach to talk to him. That knowledge gave them just what they needed to put pressure on the players and the coach to get what they needed to bring charges. Amanda was able to send Larry off with the good news that they'd gotten the people involved in ruining his nephew's life. It was little consolation for Amanda but it was the best she could do.
Things were looking up for her on the gambling front. She hit a lucky streak and was able to pay Nate back what she owed him. She gave him the money after she had sex with him, not wanting him to think that the sex had anything to do with the money she owed. He wanted her to go to another meeting with him but she declined. She didn't want any more help from him. It had to be a clean break this time. She called them even and left him there in the office of his bar. On her way home, she got a call from Christina but she didn't answer. She wanted to talk to her but then again she didn't. She wasn't up for another one sided conversation, which is what conversations with Christina always were. Anyways, her life was a mess at the moment and from what she could tell Chris' wasn't any better. She needed some time to get herself together and evaluate what she wanted going forward. Until then, she was on her own; same as always.