Chapter 27: Family Issues

The drive to Amanda's turned out to be completely silent. Chris couldn't think of what to say to Amanda to explain herself. Amanda just stared out the window the entire way to her apartment. She wanted an explanation from Chris about what was going on not only with her and Franco but between her and Beth. She'd been thinking about them getting back together at some point and it definitely made her feel better that Chris wanted to get back together with her. She didn't know how much Chris knew about her recent gambling troubles but she knew that she would have nothing to do with her if she wasn't getting help for herself. Now that she was back in GA, she was reconsidering her decision to call it quits with Chris. But finding out about Franco moving to New York, presumably to be closer to Christina, had her rethinking her reconsiderations. Chris pulled up outside her building and parked her car. Amanda unbuckled her seat belt, thanked her for the ride home, and opened the door to get out of the car.

"Can I come up?" Chris asked. Amanda looked back at her and started to deny her request. "Just to talk" she added quickly. "Please".

"Fine" she said agreeing to let her come upstairs. Chris turned off the car and got out, shutting her door and hitting the locks before following Amanda inside her building. Frannie was excited to see Chris when she walked in the door. Chris kneeled down to pet her and scratch her behind the ears. She barked loudly and licked Chris' face. "Alright, Frannie Mae. Let her breathe" Amanda said pulling her by the collar so Chris could get up. She went over to the couch and Chris followed along with Frannie who jumped on the couch and sat in her lap when she took a seat on the couch. They sat quietly for a while then the silence became unbearable. "You said you wanted to talk so…." Amanda wanted Chris to say whatever was on her mind. She was so tired. She just wanted to curl up in bed with Frannie and go to sleep. Chris didn't know where to start so she said the first thing that came to mind.

"I know you've been gambling" she started when Amanda cut her off.

"I was undercover" she said quickly.

"Come on, Amanda. I'm not stupid" she said. "Anyway, I talked to Fin. He told me about the club that you were moonlighting at to pay off your debt". Amanda started to tell her that was just part of the job but Chris knew better. "I know the moonlighting was your front but I also know that you only got the job because you were in the club gambling". Amanda didn't know how Chris had figured that out. She hadn't even been at work when the worst of it came out. Then she remembered that Chris spent two years of her life undercover. She knew that no UC would let her blow a cover they'd worked so hard to build. They'd use her as an asset.

"Fine. I was gambling" she admitted. "That's how I got the job. I fell behind at the club and I…I just got lucky that security was UC. He pulled me in to work under him". She left out the part about almost giving a sexual favor to keep herself out of trouble. She didn't want Chris to know that she was in that deep. And she didn't want her to think less of her. "I'm back in the program now. I'm doing okay".

"I know you are" Chris said confidently. "I'm sorry. I was an asshole and I walked out on you. I shouldn't have done that".

"I didn't start gambling again because of you". Amanda didn't want her to feel responsible for her trouble.

"Oh, I know. I'm not so full of myself that I think you fell off the wagon because of me". Chris knew just about everything about addiction short of what it was like to have one of her own. She knew how much Amanda had gone through before they got together, almost all of it having to do with the job and her sister. Then she had to testify against Amaro in the grand jury, Captain Cragen left the squad, a victim was arrested while they were trying to help her, a witness murdered in protective custody and then a friend from her hometown comes to her for help and she ends up making everything worse. That amount of stress would push a lot of people with an addiction to the edge. Of course their relationship ending didn't help but Chris knew she was at the bottom of the list of things that drove Amanda back to gambling. She should've known that Amanda's sobriety wasn't going to last. She only stopped gambling because Chris asked her to for the Rankins case. The most important thing about sobriety was that a person had to want it just for them self, not anyone else. "But I still want to apologize to you…for how things ended. And I still want to work things out….if you want to".

"I'm really trying to focus on working my program right now" she said. "And Olivia's not happy with me. I have to gain her trust back an…"

"Ok" Chris said stopping her from going on. "You need to focus on you right now; not us. I get it".

"I'm not saying no" she said softening the rejection. "Just not now". Chris nodded her head.

"Ok". She debated whether or not it was a good time to tell her about the situation with Franco. The longer she went without telling her the worse it'd be. She decided it was now or never. "I should've told you about Franco the night I found out he was moving here. I just…I was having a hard time processing. So much happened that night and I was overwhelmed. I didn't handle it well". She was hoping that Amanda could see she was trying hard to communicate openly with her.

"I…I want to talk about this. I do but I'm…."

"Really tired" she said finishing her sentence. "I know. So am I". She gave Frannie's head one last rub and kissed her on the nose before gently pushing her off her lap and getting up from the couch. "I'll let you get to bed". Amanda got up from the couch and followed her to the door. Frannie barked and pulled on Chris' pant leg to stop her from leaving. Amanda thought it was funny that she didn't want her to leave. She'd never taken to anyone as well as she had to Chris. That was one of the reasons she wanted to try again with her. Frannie always was a good judge of character. She kept barking and pulling on her pant leg, keeping her from getting out the door.

"Hush Frannie Mae" Amanda said firmly. "Bed". She whined and went into the apartment, presumably to bed as Amanda had commanded. They said good night and Chris headed out to go home. Amanda locked up and went to bed, taking Frannie with her to cuddle. The next day, Jimmy Mac ran a story in his paper about the trial, mainly about the defendants. It turned out that half the jury read it and the judge declared a mistrial. Instead of going to a second trial, they made a deal with the more prominent rapist. He would have a record and go on the sex offender registry but wouldn't be doing jail time on the agreement that he testify against his codefendant. Rollins and Amaro visited Heba, the victim in the case, to explain the deal to her and found out it was all part of a settlement that would pay for her brother's education. She'd have to live the fact that her brother going to school was more important than her getting the justice she deserved.

The next few weeks went by and Amanda and Chris hadn't had a chance to finish their conversation. They'd started new cases and Chris had been out of the precinct for a few days dealing with family issues. They had brief phone conversations but nothing serious since that night at Amanda's apartment. When she came back, they were working on the case of a young woman named Jenny who was used in a series of child pornography videos when she was a little girl. It'd all started with her daughter, Maddie, whom she'd left home alone in her apartment for two days. When they questioned her, she informed them that she couldn't leave the girl with her ex-husband because it was dangerous. Their investigation led them to videos made by her step-father in which she's portrayed as a girl named Laci. She was so traumatized by her childhood experience that she'd repressed the memory and didn't believe that she, herself, was Laci. Benson and Rollins had the tough job of telling her that not only was she Laci but the videos had been shown and sold all over the internet.

Over the next few days, they worked with Jenny to get compensation for all she'd been through. She was able to take one man to court for buying the videos of her. When she found out how many times the videos had been bought and shared on the net, she couldn't bear the thought of having to go to court every time they arrested someone. She didn't want to be dealing with being Laci for the rest of her life. Luckily, Barba found a way for her to get compensation immediately without ever having to go to court again. Jenny got custody of Maddie back, counseling for herself and her daughter, and money to take care of them for a very, very long time. They were all pleased with how the case ended. All they had left was paper work. Chris was pulling a double because of the time she'd taken off. Nick and Amanda took off and Fin came in for his night shift. After a couple more hours, Sergeant Benson cut out as well. Chris decided not to go home once her shift was over. At three in the morning, she got up from her desk to catch a couple hours of sleep in the crib, showered, changed her clothes and was back at her desk by seven thirty. She called her brother to make sure he set out their mother's medication for her. He didn't answer so she called her dad. He didn't answer either. She left messages on both their voicemails and went to get herself some coffee.

Amanda and Nick came in together at the same time that morning. She found it a little odd but she let herself think it was just a coincidence. She kept checking her phone to see if Robbie or her father sent her any texts but there was nothing. She called home but her mother didn't answer the phone. She knew if she were home, she would've answered so she assumed she went out for errands or something. It was a quiet day so far and she was more than ready to get out there. She was about to cut out for lunch when her phone started ringing. It was Robbie finally returning her call.

"Hey, what took you so long to call back?" she asked not even saying hello. "Did ma get her pills last night and this morning?" She listened to him on the other end for a moment. "What?" she yelled into the speaker. The entire squad room quieted down and all eyes were on her. "Why not?" She started shutting down her computer and packing up her things as she talked on the phone. Olivia came out of her office when she heard the yelling from the bull pen. "One thing, Robbie. I asked you to do one fucking thing! Why are you just now calling me?" They could all tell that it was something serious. Probably something to do the family problems she'd needed to take time off for. "Where, Robbie? Where?" She listened for another minute before saying she was on her way and hanging up the phone. She grabbed her bag and turned to go talk to Sergeant Benson only to find she was already standing there.

"What's going on?" she asked concerned.

"It's my mother. She's back in the hospital. I know I just took time off but I…."

"It's your family" she said cutting her off. "Go". Chris didn't waste any time arguing. She headed for the door.

"You want some company?" Amanda asked getting up from her desk. She was happy to be there for Christina if she needed her. Chris paused at the door and thought about whether she wanted Amanda with her or not. On one hand, it was nice to know she wanted to support her. On the other hand, she tended to get emotional about her mother and she didn't know if she wanted Amanda to see her like that.

"Ummm, no" she said after some thought. "Thanks but I'll be okay". Amanda nodded and sat back down at her desk. Chris walked out of the squad room and headed for the elevator. She started to think that this was exactly what Amanda meant when she said she was emotionally stifled. She never let anyone see her vulnerable. If she wanted things to work between them, she'd have to change that. She turned back around and went back to the squad room. "Amanda" she called for her from just outside the squad room doors. She was having trouble actually getting the words out of her mouth but she didn't have to say anything. Amanda got up from her desk, put on her jacket and left with Chris to go see her mother at the hospital.

They arrived at Saint Catherine's and found Chris' family in the waiting room. She rushed over to them and asked how was she doing but they said the doctor hadn't told them anything yet. She'd started complaining about her chest hurting around ten am. They realized she hadn't taken her meds the night before or that morning. They gave her the pills but the pain was steadily getting worse so they brought her to the hospital. Amanda sat next to Chris, not saying anything; just there for support.

"Dad" she said trying to get his attention. He was sitting next to her with his head in his hands. "Papa" she said touching his shoulder. He lifted his head to look at her. "You doing okay?"

"I'm fine, mija" he said softly. She knew that, no matter what he said, he wasn't fine. He was just as worried as she was, maybe more.

"Don't stress, okay" she whispered. She rubbed his back in soothing circle. "It's no…."

"Not good for my heart" he said knowing what she was about to say. "I know mi niña". She sighed and sat back in her chair, letting her head fall back against the wall. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths to calm herself down.

"Chris". She opened her eyes when she heard her brother say her name. "The doctor's here". She quickly got up from her seat and went over to talk to the doctor.

"You're here for Gloria Reyes?" she asked.

"Yes. I'm here daughter. How's she doing?" she asked nervously.

"Does your mother have a history of heart problems?" she asked, ignoring her question.

"Ummm, yeah. She had a heart attack about a year and a half ago. And some chest pains about three months ago. They monitored her for a couple days, changed her meds and sent her home. She's been doing better".

"Well, the meds were just a temporary fix to a growing problem. You mother has dilated cardiomyopathy. In laymen's terms, her heart was weakened by the heart attack. It's having a hard time pumping blood to the rest of her body" she said explaining the condition. "Each time it fills with blood, less and less is pumped back out. Eventually it won't be able to pump at all".

"So what can you do? How can you fix it?"

"I'm afraid it can't be fixed. There's nothing more we can do". She had little emotion in her voice. Chris thought she must give bad news dozens of times a day. "Your mother's heart is useless. We can give her medications to slow down the process but, like before, that's a temporary fix. She'll last a couple months, if that. If she doesn't get a transplant, she'll die". Chris ran her hands through her hair and took a deep breath to collect herself.

"Ok" she said. She swallowed down every emotion threatening to come up. She had to keep it together for her family. They were looking to her to make the decisions. "Then, let's do the transplant. How….how do we make that happen".

"Well first we ask her a series of questions, ascertain if she's a good candidate. Then we get her on the donor list".

"What kind of questions?"

"Family history, her own personal medical history, substance abuse". Chris tried not to check out as she rattled off a list of things they had to check for. "Alcohol consumption, eating habits, other underlying medical problems that could possibly increase the risk of rejection or affect the health of the donor heart later on. Do you need time to talk this over with your family?" she asked looking at her father and sibling who were staring at them from their seats. She shook her head.

"No" she answered, "Do what you have to do. I want my mother on the donor list". She nodded her head then walked back in the direction he came from. Chris went over and sat back down next to her father. Her brother and sister sat across from and leaned forward to hear what she was going to say. Amanda wondered if she should step away and give them some privacy. She was about to get up and leave them to talk when Chris reached over and took her hand, silently asking her to stay. "Ummm….it's not great news" she said starting to explain. "He said that her heart is really weak from the heart attack and that it's only going to get worse. She….needs a heart transplant or she's not gonna make it". Chris took her father's hand when he started to cry. Jeza had tears rolling down her cheeks and Robbie sat with his head in his hands. "So that's what we're gonna try to do" she said continuing to tell them what the plan was. "We're gonna try the heart transplant".

"This is my fault" Robbie said sitting up in his chair. "I forgot to give her her meds. I'm just so used to you doing it, I forgot".

"No, Robbie. The doctor said that this is nothing that her medication could've stopped or fixed" she said trying to assuage his guilt.

"So then it's my fault" Jeza said still crying. "I stressed her out so much that she had a heart attack. Now she's gonna die".

"That's not true" Chris said quickly. "This is no one's fault" she said despite her own feelings of guilt. "It's just something that happened. But it doesn't matter now. We just have to be there for mami; help her through this". Her father was still crying as he held on to her hand. She didn't know how she'd calm him down. She didn't know what she'd do if her mother didn't make it. It wasn't something she even wanted to think about. Right now she needed to focus on being strong and holding it together for her family.