Blaise's large chocolate sundae sat melting in its bowl. He'd ordered it merely as a cover. He hadn't had the appetite for it, but the larger the sundae, the longer he could sit at Florean Fortescue's without people thinking it was odd. He had planned to eat it, but that plan had quickly been deemed a failure. Besides, giving himself a cover had been unnecessary in the end. For the half an hour he'd been watching Draco and Astoria from across the shop, they hadn't shown one sign that they realized he was there. Blaise could have blasted apart one of the tables, and they'd likely still be staring only at each other. It baffled him.
It hurt him that Draco, of all people, hadn't detected his presence. Actually, it didn't just hurt; it made him nauseous. Never in his life had he felt such deep humiliation, but only Draco would know the source of his embarrassment. Somehow, that made it worse. The knowledge that he'd let himself grow close only to be betrayed left him as angry with himself as he was Draco. He stabbed at his tilting tower of ice cream and made it tumble down inside the bowl. He wished the tiny act of violence had given him more satisfaction than it did.
Astoria said something that made Draco lean closer and laugh. Nothing about their interactions hinted at the falsity Blaise had hoped to find. You couldn't fake the laughter Blaise could hear from across the parlor—the laughter so joyous that it betrayed proper pureblood conduct. His stomach twisted each time the sound left Draco's mouth. It was the same laugh he had used time and again with Blaise. Those moments had been ones of pride for him. He had been the only person who could get that laugh out of Draco. Not anymore.
He didn't understand. Perhaps, if he did, accepting the situation would have been easier.
The knowledge that he and Draco would have to break off their secret relationship, if Blaise was allowed to call it a relationship after what had transpired, had been on his mind since Draco had first hesitantly reached out to brush his leg with his foot while they studied in the library. He'd always known they'd be forced into respectable pureblood marriages with women. There was no getting around that, and he had thought he viewed the arrangement with a clear mind. He hadn't expected any surprises.
But he also hadn't expected Draco to like the woman he would marry. He had assumed, perhaps foolishly, that he would have the comfort of knowing he was the one with influence over Draco, while the wife was nothing to him but the source of an heir. Knowing Draco had chosen Astoria himself, despite knowing his parents strongly disapproved of the marriage, left Blaise furious. How could Draco accept his family's disapproval for her but not for Blaise? They'd shared so much more together.
This wasn't the respectable marriage Blaise had accepted for Draco years ago. It was an unrespectable one that Draco had to fight for after years of making it clear that he wouldn't stand up to his parents or society for Blaise. Somehow, Astoria held an influence over him that Blaise never had, and no matter how long he watched them from across the shop, the source of that influence continued to puzzle him. There was nothing remarkable about Astoria Greengrass.
His and Draco's relationship may have been a secret, but it had been undeniably real. Blaise had been sure of that until they left Hogwarts and Draco stopped returning his owls. Blaise had gotten wind of his new romance soon after. Not from Draco though. He had instead heard about it through the grapevine of gossip that circulated through wizarding Britain. One that provided none of the explanations Blaise craved.
It was the scandal of the year among the who's who of wizarding society. Pansy had sneered when she told him about it, commenting that she didn't understand why anyone would want to date such a dreadfully boring girl as Astoria Greengrass. Blaise didn't understand that either, but he had far better reasons for his confusion than Pansy. It had taken a lot of effort to keep his face impassive and shrug while Pansy ranted about Astoria's inferiority. He wondered what she would think if she knew the truth about him and Draco. He imagined they wouldn't be friends any longer.
Perhaps he could have accepted Draco moving on from him if he'd received more than mere silence beforehand. That angered him more than hurtful words could have. A conversation would have provided a clear ending; the silence drug on, leaving him confused about where they stood, both currently and previously.
It hurt him almost as much as watching Draco laugh without sparing a glance towards the man whose heart he had shattered. Not for the first time since he'd learned of the relationship, Blaise wondered if the real lie had been what they had shared with each other all those years, not the supposed lies they'd told the rest of the world. After all, they had never spoken of feelings. Blaise had assumed they were on the same page.
He was beginning to feel as if he might blast apart a table after all. He pushed his ice cream away from him and stood, keeping his head low to avoid making eye contact with Fortescue or any of the customers. He was confident in the knowledge that Draco and Astoria wouldn't notice him leave, but he was all too aware of the emotions written across his face as he fled from the shop.
Prompts:
Hogwarts Challenges and Assignments
Seasonal Challenge - Days of the Year: Ice Cream Day - (setting) Fortescue's
Advent Calendar: (emotion) confused
Seasonal Challenge - Audrey's Dessert Challenge: shaved chocolate - (trope) unrequited love
Word count: 947