Title: Specter Vescentur
Summary: To prove to Tucker he doesn't have feelings for Sam, Danny enters a Phantom look-alike contest to win a date with Paulina. Winning should be a cinch, right? But that's just the problem. Competing for a prize he doesn't want is bad enough, but when the competition is the guy standing between him & the girl he wishes they were fighting for, Danny's just about had enough… (DxS)
The posters were plastered everywhere; pinned on classroom doors, bulletin boards, and tacked to the inside of leaky bathroom stalls. Loopy, photocopied cursive in a garish shade of hot pink and a crummy hand-drawn likeness of himself arrested the Ghost Boy's attention from the moment he stepped foot on school grounds. It read:
:§| Danny Phantom Look-alike contest |§:
Danny snorted, reading onwards. Smaller lettering in the same curly hand formed the date for the competition.
:§| 13.02 |§:
This Thursday, apparently. A glittery line-break divided the text, matching the border with it's decorative zeal. It bore more swirls and embellishes, also done by hand and kind of wonky to his critical eye. The artist had obviously gotten carried away with the girly design and Danny already had his suspicions of who was behind this…
:§| Where? Main Hall |§:
:§| When? 12.30 |§:
… More glitter and sequins decorated the pastel pink page here. Underneath there were two more lines of text…
:§| Win a date with Casper High Queen! |§:
:§| Will you be my valentine? |§:
—asked the poster. Beneath was a selfie of the 'Queen' herself: Paulina. She was winking at the camera, a pretty smile gracing her heavily made-up face. Next to the picture was a doodle of Phantom, eyes made into little hearts locked on selfie-Paulina. Between the pair was another bulging heart, scribbled crimson with felt-tip and shot through with an arrow.
Sam was going to laugh her socks off when she saw this garbage! Grabbing the bright pink poster and tearing away the corner sticky-taped to the wall, Danny sped off to find the goth girl. He really hoped he got to her first, otherwise the irony would be completely lost on him.
Gregor. Even Tucker had warmed up to the Hungarian exchange student, but Danny didn't trust the guy as far as he could throw him. (Technically speaking, as a superpowered ghost teen, that was actually pretty far. Perhaps better phrasing for his dislike of Gregor would be a measure of how far he would like to throw him given the chance. Short answer: very, very far — and most importantly — away from Sam).
Danny told himself he didn't like Gregor hanging around because it was a strain on his secret. Which wasn't untrue, but he was kidding himself in believing it was the only reason. The truth was, Danny was jealous — that much he could admit, if only to himself. The more time that Sam spent with Gregor, the less time she had to spend with him —and Tucker, of course— and the times they did spend together at school were now censored of all things ghost-related… which deleted most topics of conversation from his repertoire.
No more 'I'm dead inside' jokes; or 'I would kill myself, but I don't wanna half-ass the job' puns. Gregor's face last week in the cafeteria, when discussing horoscopes and fortunes had led into an opening for Danny's favourite self-deprecating joke: 'Actually, I died a while ago. My parents still miss me… their aim is getting better though[1],' was priceless. He looked utterly befuddled when he and Tucker had cracked up. But afterwards, Sam had grilled him about confusing her boyfriend.
That was the first time she had used the b-word. It had hurt more than Danny cared to admit, and in a way he couldn't explain… or rather, didn't want to acknowledge, entirely out of self-preservation…
But that was totally beside the point. Right now, Danny just wanted to be the one to show Sam the poster before she met up with Gregor and inevitably spent the whole day with the silver-haired, sunglass-wearing fink.
He found Sam at her locker unloading the day's hefty textbooks — Gregor fortuitously nowhere in sight — and came up behind her, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. She spun around, her silky black hair falling over her face and smiled warmly.
"Hey, Danny," she greeted, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. "Whatcha got there?"
Danny grinned brightly. "I'm glad you asked. This—" Danny unfurled the poster, shaking it out in a plume of sparkles for dramatic effect. "—is literally the funniest thing you will ever—"
—A lanky figure stepped between the two of them, effectively cutting him off.
"Hello, Sam. I have been looking all over for you," spoke Gregor in a thick Hungarian accent.
The smile fell from Danny's lips. Logic dictated that Sam's locker would be the first place to look for Sam. He'd obviously timed this little interruption for maximum irking. Danny ground his teeth.
After a moment of being ignored, Danny cleared his throat pointedly. Gregor made a show of spotting Danny, as if his presence had gone unnoticed before now, even going so far as to look apologetic. But Danny knew it was for Sam's benefit rather than out of genuine guilt and slouched further in his shoes… That guy, he silently fumed.
"Oh, hello Danny. Sorry, I did not see you there."
At his apology, Sam looked pleased, but Danny's mood soured. Oblivious, Gregor clocked the bedazzled paper clasped in Danny's hand.
"What is that?" he asked, gesturing to the poster.
Frowning, Danny looked from Gregor, to the poster, and back to Sam. While the joke had really lost its punch at this point, he still wanted to share this with her, boyfriend be damned.
Clearing his throat as if delivering a royal proclamation, he read aloud a truncated summary for comedic effect. "Danny Phantom look-alike competition. Win a date with Paulina… D'ya think I could win, Sam?" he asked, pulling his best amplified hero face, lips pushed out in a 'smoulder'.
He watched Sam's eyes crease in mirth. She never took his heroic act seriously at all, and while that used to annoy him to pieces, he now found it endearing. It was their inside joke and he liked that. Gregor, on the other hand, had taken his question at face value, opting for brutal honesty — this time barely hidden behind a weak guise of kindness or mercy.
"I do not fancy your chances, Danny. You look nothing like the Ghost Boy."
That was just too perfect. Danny doubled-over, bouts of laughter shaking his body. Likewise, Sam braced herself against her locker, her face splitting into a matching entertained grin and started laughing too.
They were still in stitches when Tucker bounded over like an over-excited puppy dog, another pink poster between his fingers. His eagerness ebbed when he realised Danny was already holding a sheet of pink print, being the source of their shared amusement, but he cracked up anew when he spotted Gregor watching on confusedly.
"Well I guess it's a good thing I'm not entering then," said Danny, wiping a tear of mirth from the corner of his eye.
Sam sobered up. "You're not? But you have a real chance with Paulina here," she pointed out, ignoring Gregor's soft scoff of disbelief.
"Yeah, the old Danny would've jumped at the chance to be Paulina's Valentine's Day date. What gives?" Tucker chimed in, nudging Danny in the ribs.
Danny shrugged helplessly. That was a question he wasn't willing to answer. When he remained silent, Gregor and Sam struck up a conversation about their favourite gothic horrors, falling into step with the other two trailing loosely behind. Unfortunately, Tucker seemed to see right through him, as always, and refused to drop the subject.
"—Unless you like someone else…?" he finished with a wink. He had lowered his voice, his astute observation meant only for the teen in denial. Paired with the meaningful look he shot at Sam, it was obvious what he was trying to not-so-subtly convey.
Darnit, Tuck! He knew him too well. Danny hadn't thought about Paulina romantically since the fateful beauty pageant. That was probably the first time he'd allowed himself to really question if friendship was all he wanted from Sam. Too bad he hadn't realised that any earlier. Then he sure as hell wouldn't be kicking himself now. Too little, too late, his traitorous brain sung.
"Can it, Tuck. Whatever you're implying, you're way off the mark," Danny admonished, almost convincing himself.
"Prove it. Prove you don't have feelings for Sa—owch."
Danny jabbed tucker in the side to shut him up and his unmanly yelp drew the attention of the two lovebirds up front. Thinking quickly for a way to get Tucker to give it a rest (and stop being so darn observant), Danny said the only defence that came to mind.
"—I mean, of course I'm entering the contest! Why wouldn't I be? … heh…" he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
His eyes fell on Sam, her face went through a dozen indecipherable expressions before settling on a slight frown. It made sense considering her stance on the shallow girl that he was apparently still chasing, but Danny had almost hoped for a flicker of jealousy. Man, who was he kidding? Sam had nothing to be jealous over — she had stupid Gregor fawning all over her.
"You mean you'd risk blowing your secret just for a date with Paulina? Guess I was wrong," murmured Tucker, clearly surprised. "Good luck, man." He'd meant with the competition, but he may as well have been talking about the she-demon he was trying to win a date with.
Tucker put out his fist for a bump, which Danny reciprocated distractedly. His plan had worked, but now he was stuck competing for a prize he didn't even want. 'Plan' being used in the loosest sense of the word. It was really more of a botched recovery; all he had managed to do was create more problems for himself.
"Thanks dude. But I think I've got this in the bag," he said, trying not to let the regret seep into his tone. And on that grim note, Danny hurriedly left to go sign up for the contest.
By the time Thursday rolled around, Danny had managed to convince himself this had been a great idea. Actually, it had been Gregor's reaction that helped him realise, but no way was he crediting that twerp for his own genius.
Danny had entered the contest to prove he didn't have feelings for Sam, but that didn't mean he actually had to win. Besides, with his black hair and blue eyes, people weren't going to think he looked anything like, well, himself — least of all Paulina, the judge, who would never look twice at a loser like Danny Fenton, let alone think he resembled his heroic counterpart. Like he cared. He'd lose his bracket, get knocked out in the first round, and Sam would never have to know how he really felt.
It was better that way. As much as he hated to admit it, dating Gregor made her happy and that was all that mattered. His own twisted up feelings could be squished down if it meant Sam could carry on in blissful cluelessness.
So why, as she shoved binders into her locker and crumpled loose sheets of papers, did Sam look so pissed?
He was almost scared to ask, but decided against letting her temper stew in favour of trying to calm her down. "Morning Sam. Who stole your tofu soy melt?" he asked delicately, trying not to set her off.
She slammed her locker shut with a shuddering bang and Danny nearly jumped out of his skin.
Rounding on him with a heated glare, Sam poked him in the chest with an accusational jab. "Oh, that's rich, Danny. First you, now Gregor… What do you two even see in her?"
Danny gaped dumbly at Sam. "What?" he asked.
"Never mind," she mumbled darkly. "I hope you win your stupid contest." Her livid tone made winning the contest sound like choosing to hang out with Klemper or asking to spend quality time with Vlad. Danny couldn't help but silently agree.
"Sam I—" he began, but Sam wasn't listening anymore.
"Save it for someone who cares," she waved off. "—and good luck on finding someone who actually does." Sam tacked on the second half with a cut of bitterness.
Just like that, she was gone. Belatedly, it clicked that at least some of her temper was directed at her boyfriend, and while that made him feel a little better, he was still really worried about Sam. If he found out that Gregor had done something to upset her… well Danny could think of more than a few creative methods of serving the kid his just deserts. In fact, there was a list. A very long list.
Suffice to say, Gregor would be checking under his bed for monsters well into adulthood.
Slight evil tendencies aside, Danny was in danger of being late to class again if he didn't get a move on. With one last glance over at Sam, Danny left for his own locker where he ran into Tucker, who already had his books tucked in the crook of his arm.
"Hey Danny." He waved. "You ready for the contest?"
"As I'll ever be," said Danny with fake enthusiasm and forced a winning smile that felt a lot more like a grimace.
"Hold up. You're not even changing your hair colour?" Tucker asked. "I mean, don't let me tell you how to blow your secret, but dude, it's like you're not even trying. Of course, that would make sense if you weren't trying to win…?" The boy raised a brow, gauging Danny's unmasked reaction.
Danny gulped and suddenly felt slick perspiration form on his brow. "What gave you that idea?" he yelped, pitched to a higher frequency with the strain of another lie.
"No reason," said Tucker, pausing to usher in a false sense of security before cutting to the chase. "... But I guess you wouldn't be since you're in love with Sam!" It was not a question.
Danny's mind reeled. Act casual! Don't let him get anymore ammunition or he'll never let it go.
"Dude, I think you've got doused one too many times with the Fenton Foamer," he dismissed with more composure than he honestly felt. "What makes you think I'm not changing my hair? I—erm… I'm gonna transform," he whispered under his breath.
Geez. What have I gotten myself into now? This is a disaster! Oh my gosh, this is so out of hand. Just stop talking, Danny, he mentally scolded himself.
"Really? Isn't that like, super dangerous?" He cautioned of the already obvious to his seemingly rash friend.
Sure, Danny knew the risks, but he had to get through to Tucker somehow… and apparently this was the best he could do. Desperate times call for desperate measures. He had to be rash.
"Yeah, but I really want that date with Paulina. So there is no way I could possibly be in love with Sam. Nope, nu-uh." He faux-chuckled, waving his hands over in a dissmissive X-motion.
"Whatever you say, man." Tucker shrugged, clearly disbelieving. The moment after Danny had left for class, he added to himself, "Clueless. Completely clueless."
It looked like the entire student body had gathered in the main hall for the contest. Peeking through the folds of the draping red curtain separating the audience from the contestants, Danny finally allowed himself to admit that yeah, maybe he hadn't exactly thought this through. Fine, it was a really bad idea, but backing out now would make Tucker think he had been right all along, and Danny would rather have a tea party with Plasmius than let that happen.
Standing behind the curtain in his ghost form, Danny waited to be called out to compete for his bracket. There were eighteen contestants in total, each paired up and pitted against each other for the first round. The winners from each set would then go head to head again until all other competitors had been eliminated and Paulina would have her winner.
Round One put Danny up against Mikey. The ginger nerd was now dressed in a home-made hazmat suit, with his hair sprayed a metallic silver. The emblem on his chest was stuck on at a jaunty angle and the suit gaped around his spaghetti-strand arms.
Mikey was called out first, striking a heroic pose and receiving a wave of laughter from the rowdy crowd. Next was Danny, who shuffled from backstage and reluctantly presented himself before the judging panel.
Deafening silence followed.
The ghost boy chanced a look up at the raven-haired girl presiding over the contest. He was expecting the audience to be staring at him, gaping wordlessly at the eerie accuracy of his costume, but when his eyes landed on Paulina, the tension twisting his gut immediately vaporised.
She was lazily jotting down notes in her pad, her chin resting on her palm as she studied the contestants before her.
Instead it was his jaw that dropped.
Paulina yawned with heavy disinterest. "Mikey, your costume is falling apart and you missed the back of your hair with the spray," she critiqued. She was right, he still had a bright orange undercut and had made no attempt to style it into spikes, rather combing it over in a weird quiff. "And Danny, your costume looks cheap. Where did you get it, the eighty-nine cents store?" she giggled at his expense. "But I guess the hair is better," she admitted.
Thanks? his brain supplied, bemused. Danny had no idea how to react, so he didn't. Showing surprise would give him away, and laughter would raise some difficult questions, so he just gaped dumbly and nodded along in agreement with her criticism.
"Mikey, you're out," said Paulina, regally waving her hand. "Danny you stay." The subtext read that she didn't fancy his chances, but that was okay.
Well, not so much for Mikey who looked utterly devastated, but if he knew he was up against the real Phantom in the flesh (so to speak) he wouldn't be so cut up over her ruling — and the way Danny saw things, he was doing the kid a massive favour in saving him from a date with the preppy princess of CHS.
Now that was true heroism.
Maybe things were going to work out after all. The moment he had been introduced as Danny Fenton and walked out onstage, his peers were never going to see an ounce of Phantom in his countenance. His secret was safe and he was basically already out of the running for the grand prize. Perfect.
What he didn't anticipate was that he'd sail through the next heat when luck pit him against Lester, who had miraculously won his bracket against Dash, and whose costume actually had the colour scheme inverted (the same way his actual suit had been pre-accident, but the judges had no idea, so how Lester had managed to best the jock was a real mystery).
But it happened, and once again Danny squeaked through into the next round: the Final. The brackets had generated a three-way tie between the remaining competitors. From behind the curtain, Danny and the others waited nervously to be sent out for the final heat.
"And called back for the third and Final Round of the Casper High Phantom Look-alike contest is…" A pause for dramatic effect, dragged on long enough for tedium to settle. "Danny Fenton, Wes Weston—"
"—What gives? I didn't even enter!" cried the auburn-haired athlete from behind the curtain.
"Well someone put your name down, so get out here!" snapped Paulina from her seat at the panel impatiently, breaking her sweet facade, before quickly reconstructing a sugary smile.
The boy grouched, but followed Danny out with a clumsy stumble giving the distinct impression he'd been mercilessly shoved into the spotlight. He wasn't even dressed up, but somehow he'd managed to pass through both of the previous brackets, even knocking out Kwan and his tailored Halloween costume that looked exactly like the real deal. Or so he'd heard anyway, Danny had missed a large segment of the competition when his ghost sense had gone off and he'd snuck away to vanquish the Box Ghost. It had been a short fight, but it had been enough for Danny to be in the dark about how the other contestants had fared.
The identity of the third finalist was a complete mystery to Danny. Well at least for about five more seconds…
"... And the audience's favourite… Gregor Kovács!" boomed Paulina, voice amplified by a tinny microphone hooked up to the school's loudspeaker.
The feedback blared, a piercing shrill sound, and the audience winced.
Wait, what? Gregor had entered the competition! Why that slimy little two-faced jerk. Why the heck was he competing to win a date with Paulina when he was already dating the coolest girl in the school?
Sam! Suddenly everything made sense. Gregor had entered the contest, no wonder Sam was pissed. Danny was pissed. Talk about ultimate betrayal.
When the traitor came to stand beside Danny, it was all he could do to keep his powers in check and not blast him into next week with an ecto-ray. He knew his eyes were blazing with a ghostly glow, but he couldn't seem to care.
Gregor was clad in a quality, high-end black hazmat suit with silver trimmings and Danny's icon —designed by Sam— stamped on his chest. His anger flared again at the memory, but it was the goth girl's empty gaze from across the hall that cooled his temper. Her eyes were clouded with heartbreak and he hated Gregor for putting that downcast look on her face.
While he had been brooding, Paulina had moved on with the contest and was about to pass her final judgement.
"In third place is Danny Fenton," she announced.
Go figure, he thought absently. At this point, he was long past caring and third place suited him just fine. Tucker, on the other hand, would be laughing about this for weeks.
"Second place goes to… Wes Weston."
"Are you trying to tell me that I look more like Danny Phantom than Danny Phantom!?" yelled Wes, throwing his hands up in the air melodramatically. "You have got to be kidding me! You're all blind. All of you!" He started gesticulating wildly to Danny, but the audience watched on confusedly, not seeing what he was getting at.
Wes turned to Danny, eyebrow twitching with irritation. He didn't even crack his usual smirk at the sweet irony and Wes' tangible frustration, he was that angry.
"Which means first place goes to Gregor!" squealed Paulina as she made gooey eyes at her date.
That was the last straw. He left the stage and found somewhere to turn invisible, returning moments later as a phantasmic apparition, hidden from sight. His insubstantial hands touched Gregor's back and phased through. Allowing the familiar pull to tug him inside, Danny overshadowed the other boy.
Now pulling the strings, the Ghost Boy walked Gregor over to Paulina first.
"You can pick me up at six," she began, looking up at Danny through her thick lashes. "Don't be late."
"Great, do you know if the Nasty Burger has reserved seating? Then again, there will only be the three of us," mused Danny, setting her up for the kicker.
She took the bait. "Three?" asked Paulina, the flirty lilt vanished from her tone, replaced by tight and testy disbelief.
Danny rolled Gregor's eyes. "Well obviously mommy's going to chaperone. Didn't you know? I'm a massive dweeb who has attachment issues and an unhealthy relationship with his mom. 'Kay, bye!" he said arily, pulling Gregor's features into a goofy grin and blowing Paulina a sloppy kiss.
Paulina gagged, but before she could cancel their impending date, Gregor was already sprinting over to Sam.
Don't get him wrong, Danny was psyched that Sam and Gregor were over, but as much as he saw it as a victory, he wasn't blind to how much she must be hurting right now. This wasn't about trying to fix what the idiot exchange student had broken, or trying to save their relationship. It was about getting Sam the apology she deserved, because the chances of Gregor delivering it… uncoerced were slim to none.
"Sam!" he called out.
She scowled darkly, beyond the I'm-an-angsty-goth spectrum. "What part of I'm not talking to you don' t you understand?" Sam huffed.
"I know, I'm sorry. I'm a complete idiot and I never should've entered this stupid contest," he started, finding himself speaking from the heart. "You're the most incredible girl I've ever met and I'm obviously the densest guy on the planet to have messed everything up. You're smart, funny… smoking hot," he added, emboldened by his hidden identity and letting himself get caught up in the moment. "And a kick-ass ghost hunter."
Sam's eyes went wide before her face softened and she smiled brilliantly.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is…" He took a deep breath. "I love you, Sam."
Before his mind could wrap itself around his confession, Sam's lips were on Gregor's. At that moment, his brain officially broke. His ability to process anything beyond 'Sam is kissing me' failed him. It didn't even register that he had been in the wrong body… Nor did he realise he'd fallen out of Gregor the second Sam had pressed her violet lips to his own.
… Not even when Gregor's dazed body flopped to the ground with a dull thump… or when Tucker squeaked out a flabbergasted, 'Oh-my-clockwork'… or when the entire auditorium issued a singular, synchronised gasp of astonishment.
In fact, he had been so swept up in the kiss that when Sam pulled away and whispered in his ear, "I love you too, Danny," it still didn't click; it just felt right.
It wasn't until Paulina unleashed an enraged shriek that the Ghost Boy's overloaded brain finally caught up.
"Sam Manson is dating Danny Phantom!?"
[1] These jokes come from haunt-the-stars's "danny' s favourite self-deprecating jokes" on tumblr. They're all incredibly funny, but these are just a few of my favourites.
A/N: Thanks for reading. This is sort of a birthday present to myself. Happy birthday, me! I wanted this to be more funny than it turned out, but with Danny being so agonisingly clueless, it was hard to make it the crack fic I wanted it to be. I think Never Have I Ever was better in that respect, so please go check that out if you wanna see drunk!Danny :) As always, concrit is very welcome!
The title of this fic came from the Latin words for look-alike, 'spectant vescentur' (but I don't know how well that translates). I changed it to specter because y'know… ghosts, but when you take 'vescentur' on its own, it means unleavened which has something to do with bread. Basically, the title of this fic means a ghost made without yeast or other raising agent :) Yeah, I don't know either lol.
Coming Soon…
A Father's Worst Nightmare
Jeremy Manson used to be worried about his little girl meeting the Wrong Guy; the one who would break her heart. Little did he know he should've been far more afraid of her meeting the Right Guy. Especially when Sam's Right Guy has the ability to fly, turn invisible and phase through solid objects, say for instance, like a bedroom wall, as a totally random example. (Established DxS)