Harry Potter's journey through pain and torment

by Anastasia Plant

Content Warning contains eating disorders, over exercise, self harm and spanking. Graphic depictions of self harm and nude spankings. Alternate Universe sometime between the second and fifth book. Harry has an eating disorder, over exercises and self harms. Harry also receives spanking at the hands of the dursleys. Ginny also self harms. Dumbledore uses spanking to try & help them.

1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter's journey through pain and torment

Chapter 1

Harry Potter was the last person asleep yet again. He often sat up late through the night to help him avoid and dull the nightmares that plague his sleeping hours although it didn't stop just at night times now his daydreams were haunted by the darkest thoughts.

Finally he fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. Little did he know that tonight was the last of his nightmares as he would find a way to keep them away. Once again he was back in the chamber watching Ginny get lured while he was unable to stop it happening. He already blamed himself for this and for the resulting pain and suffering. This time in his dream Harry was reaching forward to grab her and as a result he flailed in his bed and knocked over a glass on his table it fell on the floor and smashed.

The smashing sound woke him up and he quickly scrambled out of bed and started picking up the glass pieces as he knew that the Dursleys would punish him if they saw the broken glass that's if they don't already punish him for having one in his room. While picking up the pieces Harry sliced his fingers open and stifling a yell he immediately relaxed which was surprising to him but the pain seemed to relax him. He then decided he would keep some of the glass hidden until he could find something else to try again with.

The morning came and as Harry was already awake he tiptoed down stairs and started making breakfast he fried eggs and bacon and turned the toast on. He had just started to boil the kettle when Vernon stormed in muttering something about hearing a smash in the night and that Harry boy was in for a punishment later on. Harry quickly drunk down his water and put the glass in the dishwasher before turning to Vernon and serving him some eggs and bacon. He then reached over and took out the toast and carried it over to the toast rack on the table. He then poured the water into the tea and coffee pots ready for petunia and dudley. He then walked out and shouted over the Vernon that he was going for a walk but he would be back to tidy up after breakfast.

Harry didn't want to walk but didn't want to be with the rest of them for breakfast. He decided as he was wasn't hungry he would go for a run so he ran upstairs to find his trainers which he had hidden under the floorboards as they were not hand-me-downs from dudley and therefore Harry knew petunia would not let him have them as they were newer than Dudleys. He hid them up his jumper before running down the stairs and then out the front door. Harry then ran out the front gate and his behind the wall to pull on his trainers. He had a little stretch to warm up his muscles before sprinting as fast as he could towards the park. He then ran around the park 6 times as fast as he could before having to stop to be sick because he had pushed himself too hard. He then ran back to the Dursleys house took his trainers off and hit them up his jumper before going inside and running up the stairs back to his bedroom.

A few days later a letter addressed to Harry arrived through the letterbox. Having remembered what happened when his first Hogwarts letter came harry folded the letter up and placed it into his pocket before taking the post through to the dursleys. He then left the kitchen to open his letter upstairs in his bedroom. Petunia followed him out and called him back for breakfast but Harry shouted back that he was not hungry. In fact Harry was never hungry these days and together with not eating running and his new found love of cutting he was beginning to feel a little bit better and had in fact had few or no nightmares for a few nights. The letter was from his best friends Ron and Hermionie asking why he wasn't there yet. But Harry didn't even read the letter and threw it straight into the bin they were the last people he wanted to hear from. Harry decided that he would go for a walk to clear his head before he could sleep. Harry left and walked down the street before breaking into another run. Again he ran so fast that when he stopped he was sick all over his shoes.