Luna approached the nearest faceless man in wonder.
"I suppose we all have need of great intelligence," she mused in response to The Man With The Face's ominous remark. "I've never heard it in reverse, though." She moved on to the next faceless man. "What does that mean: Great Intelligence had need of me?"
"I need a versatile and youthful mind," The Man With The Face replied gravely. "This form does little for me, now."
The circle of faceless men tightened, drawing Luna closer to the speaker.
She kept as much distance as she could, but also scrutinized the man. "Are you The Great Intelligence, then? What a funny name."
"I-"
"Not that it's not admirable. 'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure', as they say."
"I-"
"Have you met Rowena Ravenclaw? She had great intelligence, too."
"I am a being of unspeakable power."
Is this actually working? Luna wondered. Is he still talking? She oriented herself nearer to the TARDIS door, all the while keeping up a steady babble. "The mind is a powerful thing. 'Knowledge is power'. That's another phrase. There are plenty of those, really. 'Mind like a steel trap'. 'Tamper with the deepest mysteries- the source of life, the essence of self-'. 'The mind is a palace'."
Then, The Man With The Face grabbed ahold of Luna. The moment his hand touched the skin of her upper arm, a bolt of pain shot up her spine to her brain, and her screams filled the alley.
...
The people in the tavern were very nice. Except, the Doctor noted, they weren't exactly "people". And they tried to kill him.
But the beverages were good.
"Yes! Rum!" he exclaimed to a barmaid with tentacles growing out of her face. "Brilliant! Loads of rum! I love rum. What exactly is rum? I used to know..." Alas, he thought, I used to know a lot of things, but the mind can get slippery, especially where alcoholic beverages are concerned.
The barmaid clanked the jug onto the bar in front of him.
"Wonderful," the Doctor said more quietly. "Thank you. Say...what planet is this?"
The barmaid gave a snort and walked away (slunk away, really).
"Fine then," the Doctor muttered to no one. A smile was tugging at the corners of his lips. "Force me to do a bit of exploring, why don't you."
That was when one of the bar patrons grabbed the Doctor by the shoulder, quite roughly, and turned him around. "Doctor!" the creature yelled, his countenance unfriendly...or was that just his face? Hard to tell.
The Doctor responded with a smile and a sly movement that transitioned the creature's strong hand from his shoulder to his jug of rum. "Yes. That's me. Who are you? Wait, let me guess...You're the guy in charge, yes? Of course you are. You've got loads of badges...gotta love badges...Say, where am I?"
The creature snarled, hefted an axe, and again yelled, "Doctor!"
"Got it. Not friends." The Doctor ran, weaving between groups of creatures and out the tavern door. The creature with the badges did not cease his pursuit.
The time lord was nearly to the TARDIS when he saw the little blond girl, Luna, collapsed just an inch away from the blue box door. Again the Doctor cursed in Gallifreyan before scooping the child up, fumbling the TARDIS door open, entering, and shutting the door behind them.
Once they were shut in, the girl opened her batty eyes. "What happened?" she asked in her dreamy voice.
"I was going to ask you that," the Doctor rambled, setting the girl down on her feet and rushing to the TARDIS controls. "I don't know. I was in a pub and you passed out."
"I remember you leaving..." Luna pondered a bit. "I remember it feeling like something sucked the breath out of me, or like I caught a thousand wrackspurts all at once."
"Bad News Planet," the Doctor concluded breathlessly. "Let's go."
The TARDIS jolted skyward.
Luna sat down cross-legged. "Thank you, Mr. TARDIS," she sighed, petting the wall.
"'Mister'? She's a girl," the Doctor corrected the child incredulously.
Luna angled her head a bit and smiled. "How can you tell?"
"I-" The Doctor was briefly stumped. "She just is."
"Is TARDIS her whole name?" Luna asked.
"No. TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Her name is-" The Doctor stopped himself. "She...erm...doesn't have a name."
Luna opened her mouth to speak, but then she went very white and fell limp.
"Lovegood?!" Panicked, the Doctor ran to her side.
She was out cold, but her mouth began to speak on its own, with her voice: "I'd like to speak to the Doctor."
The time lord's face darkened, and his tone was gravely confident, his voice lowered, when he answered: "I'm listening, whoever you are."
...
Luna's eyes opened to the Doctor's pale face. He was staring at her, and she didn't remember falling asleep. She was also unsure as to why the Doctor looked so grim. There must have been something dreadfully wrong with her. Narrowing her eyes, she hazarded a guess: "Wrackspurts, right?"
The Doctor shook his head. "The Great Intelligence is now living inside your head," he told her. "Apparently, you're a being of great power."
"I'm a witch," Luna replied with a perplexed look.
"Half," the Doctor answered cryptically. Then he sprang to his feet, suddenly all energy again. "Alright, then, Lovegood, sit tight and think happy thoughts."
Luna stood as well. "Alright then. What'll you do?"
"The Great Intelligence has given me coordinates, and he really won't be glad he did."
"Coordinates where?"
With one hand on the TARDIS console, the Doctor turned around and smiled like the mad man he was. "Your mind," he said. Then the TARDIS sailed off.