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Alec silenced the alarm on his phone and sat up swinging his legs over the side of his bed, and then he just sat there. Lethargic, even after more than enough sleep, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl back under his comforter and deny that the day had started. Jace was downstairs with Clary, and they'd all have breakfast together...and Alec just didn't want to anymore. He didn't want any of it.

"Alec! Pancakes." Came Jace's voice through his door, almost like clockwork. Alec didn't move from his seated position, listening to the sounds of New York drifting through the windows of his high rise apartment. It was a dreary winter day, and it perfectly matched the chill in Alec's soul. Winter could be beautiful, and it was actually Alec's favorite season, but something about the wet cold grey of today was already dragging him under a cloud of pure hopelessness. He watched the ice form on his bedroom window, and faced the unavoidable reality of the day starting whether he wanted it to or not. Getting up, having breakfast with the happy couple below, going to work, coming home, working out, watching a show, and doing the same god awful thing all over again the next day.

He had to reconcile himself to the facts. The ugly truth of it all.

He was thirty, he had never had a relationship, never had a torrid love affair that turned him into a dramatic mess. He wasn't a virgin, he'd gone out when he was in college and slept with a few people, primarily so Jace would leave him alone, but none of it was anything close to an actual relationship. Now he lived with Jace and Clary, who had been together since college. The last even almost date he'd been on turned into a hookup in a club bathroom, and he'd lost the guys number as soon as he unlocked his phone after leaving the club. The guy had been handsy, and gross if Alec was honest, but he'd thought the excitement would shake him out of his funk. It hadn't. He'd just felt worse and vowed not to do it again. Uninstalling Grindr had clearly been a mistake, hookups were about all he was good for, even if they did make him feel like shit. They made him feel less shitty than an actual date going so terribly, so he'd sworn it all off. And now...well now here he was, a man in his thirties with nothing to show for it but an endless string of useless one night stands. Heaving a sigh he glared at out his window, jesus how shitty was his life to be procrastinating breakfast with his brother in hopes of avoiding the cold hard truth.

He was single. Boring. And hopeless.

Boring. He hated thinking it, but if there was one word in all of the english language that fit him perfectly, it was that one. His hair was boring, his clothes were boring, his job was boring, his whole damn life was boring. He could get a date. He just couldn't keep them interested. If he didn't have to talk, everything worked out great. The minute he opened his mouth, their eyes closed and he lost them.

Alec looked over at his dresser, trying to find the motivation to get dressed, but he was just too depressed to get up and face the day. Clary would be bright and cheerful, a high contrast to the day outside the window, and he just didn't know if he had the energy to handle it. He had to be at work at 8, so he knew he needed to get up, not just yet though.

Last night, he'd gone to bed early, avoiding Jace and Clary's request to watch the Good Place with them. He'd gone into his room, pulled out his clothes for the next day, and passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow. He wore the same thing to work everyday. Black slacks, white shirt, black tie, and black blazer, no one would ever be able to pick him out of a crowd of business men. He really didn't even need to set his clothes out, his closet was the same exact thing over and over again.

Almost without realizing it, he felt humiliated by his own lack of anything resembling a style. Somewhere between college and now, he'd managed to purge his life of all color. The word fun didn't resemble anything about him, and flat out couldn't be applied to Alec at all. He was boring. He couldn't even put on a bright colored shirt to ward off this mood, because he didn't own anything that wasn't grey, black or white. Hell most days he barely bothered to fix his hair, much less pick out clothing that might put him in a better mood. Alec stood up and walked over to his dresser mirror.

He didn't like what he saw. He looked like an off brand version of Isabelle, dull and lifeless. A too big Grey tshirt, navy cotton boxers that had been washed so often they may as well be grey. He'd had the damn things since he left for college. In fact he'd had nearly the exact same wardrobe for the past 10 years, if he needed something new or to replace something he just bought the same copy of something he already had. Nothing in his collection could ever be seen as sexy, no silk, nothing for the boring lump that was Alexander fucking Lightwood he thought suddenly furious with himself.

Slamming his hands down on the dresser he glared at himself in the mirror and felt something inside of himself shift. He wanted a life, a family of his own, he wanted a partner a house, and damnit to hell he wanted sex. Filthy, tender, wicked, on the couch in the middle of the afternoon married sex. He wanted the abs he worked so hard to maintain to make someone's eyes glaze over with lust born out of love instead of a sick arrogance or pride. He didn't want to feel like a fucking throw away object, he wanted someone to want him for who he was.

Alec sighed. He wasn't going to get any of that though. Blue collar FBI agents were not the things dreams were made of. He was going to get older, more boring, and eventually his abs would be a fond memory. Unless he did something...drastic.

Desperation, he knew led him to do stupid shit, like agree to anything Isabelle or Jace schemed up. But, maybe this once he could just stop being so damn good. He'd been the rule follower, the responsible one, the good brother his whole life. Maybe it was time to throw that out the window and do something, well crazy. Could he? Was he even capable?

But straight laced, stodgy men didn't get the guy at the end of the story, and if he was going to get what he wanted, something had to give. He definitely didn't want a man that spent more time in clubs picking up men than he did at home, but he did want someone who was experienced. Someone confident. Someone who knew what he was doing, something about that kind of confidence always attracted him, and just imagining having a man like that all to himself made him grin a little. But, he was going to have to go out so he could actually meet people.

"Alec!" Clary shouted at him this time, startling him out of his thoughts.

"In a minute." He shouted back in acknowledgement.

How exactly was he going to do this. Tinder was out, it was worse than Grindr actually, in fact he reached over and uninstalled the app from his phone immediately. Hookups were out. This was now a mission, a serious business mission, and he wasn't going to get distracted by the cesspool that was Tinder.

Who did he know that had the most experience? He couldn't ask Isabelle for help, she'd go over board and he'd be dressed in shit he'd never even possible contemplate wearing again, and she'd give him shit advice about picking up dates. Jace was also out, he and Clary had been wrapped around one another for too long to even contemplate what dating might be like. But, maybe Jace knew someone?

Alec went through the motions and got dressed for work, and as he knotted his tie he looked at himself once again in the mirror. "You're pathetic," he told his reflection and couldn't control the anger in his voice. This couldn't go on.

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Pancakes were piled in the middle of the table and Jace sat with his arms over his chest giving Alec an arched look. Clary was nowhere to be seen and Alec sighed internally. How fitting that his brother knew the exact tone of his voice that meant he needed to send Clary onto work without him. They both worked for the NYPD, though they weren't partners, but they generally went into work together.

"Brother, what's going on?" Jace asked concerned.

Alec sat at the table and tried to hedge. "What makes you think something is wrong?"

Jace's face scrunched. "You have got to be kidding me dude. You skipped the Good Place, you are avoiding the hell out of me and Clary, and just in general you act like I killed a pet you've never had. What the hell?"

Alec sat back in his chair. "I think I had an epiphany?"

Jace grunted clearly asking what.

Alec took a deep breath. "I want a family, I want someone in my life, I don't want to be alone anymore."

Jace blinked. Then blinked again. "Okay, so what's wrong?"

"Jesus Jace, what do you think the problem is. No one is going to want to be with me. Jesus I'm like the embodiment of the color fucking dull."

"For fucks sake dude that's not true. You're like hot for a dude." Jace said it in his endlessly supportive way.

Alec rolled his eyes. "That's not what I want Jace, I want something real, and to get it I'm going to have to change some things. I can make men look at me, that's not really hard, but I have to figure out how to keep them once they get passed the outside. And I want to find one I want to keep once I get passed his outside. I think I need to move out on my own, be more independent, I think I need to do things that scare me and I need to be different."

Jace's eyes went wide and he slumped. "I don't want you to go, and I think you're fine like you are, but I get it man. Whatever you need, I'll help."

"Thanks." Alec shoved a bite of pancake into his mouth, and then remembered imagining Isabelle's reaction. "Don't tell anyone?" he commanded his brother.

Jace nodded, then put on his thinky face. "So what we need to do is get you how to pick up a man lessons, well the right kind of man anyway."

Alec choked on his orange juice. "Seriously?"

"Yeah man. What about Lydia. She's cool, and she's like a matchmaker. Like one of those professional ones you know, so I bet she'd totally help you and it'd be totally anonymous or whatever."

Alec's eyes went wide. He'd completely forgotten about Lydia's job. "Holy shit you're right. She can probably give me some really good tips."

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Alec came to a dead stop on his way to his office as he caught sight of the man standing outside of his door. Magnus Bane. What the hell was he doing in the FBI building? For that matter, who the hell had let him in? And what idiot had directed him to Alec's office? Standing there a little dumbfounded he wondered what he should do. He couldn't just stand and stare, although Magnus did stand out.

Cubicles, grey walls, a sea of workers in various shades of white, black, grey and navy. But not Magnus. He was in a pair of black skinny jeans that sparkled, black and silver pointed boots, and a shirt that looked like fire as it shifted under the fluorescent light. Magnus' hair was black with a shock of white and red running through it. He'd probably come from his club Pandemonium, but Alec couldn't fathom what the hell he'd be doing here.

He and Magnus butted heads, they always had, but he was Isabelle's best friend. They'd all met in college, and Alec tolerated the man, but Magnus was….well he was everything Alec wasn't. Exciting, smooth, and just the slightest bit dangerous. He dominated any space he was in, and he had the confidence to get in or out of just about any situation he found himself in. Their college years had shown him just about every side of Magnus he could see. They were all sharp edged and brilliant. Alec might have been the tiniest bit jealous. Through the years they'd developed a sort of mutual truce that Magnus pushed the boundaries of any chance he got. Never once, had he shown up at Alec's place of work though.

Magnus caught sight of him and his expression lifted.

Alec of course did what Alec always did and approached him asking, "Who let you in here?" Magnus' expression dimmed. Alec always had that effect on him, and he wanted to kick himself because he didn't necessarily mean to shut Magnus down every time he talked to him. Almost everyone in their friend group got along with Magnus, but for some reason he and Alec had just never clicked. Not like that. Magnus shrugged and walked into Alec's office ahead of him, sitting down in one of the chairs available before Alec could offer.

"I need your help."

Alec appreciated Magnus' direct approach. It had always struck him a little strangely that Magnus might simper and prevaricate with others, but to Alec he gave nothing but the hard honest truth. "With what?" Alec said tersely as he dropped his briefcase on his desk, taking notice of a new file folder on his desk that hadn't been there when he left last night.

"Izzy was promoted as you know, and I wanted to throw a little party for her, but my place is out of commission right now. I was hoping I could use your place. Jace said I would need your permission, and since you refuse to answer when I call, I came by." Magnus waved his ringed finger around the office.

Alec winced. It's not that he refused to answer, it's that he never quite knew what to say when Magnus approached him. If he were being honest, and maybe that was one of the changes he needed to make with himself, Magnus made him nervous as hell. He'd always stood too close, and pushed every button Alec had.

Magnus leaned back in his chair, and clenched his hands into fists. Almost as if he were waiting for Alec to refuse so he could leave and start looking for another solution. Alec frowned.

"Okay fine. You know the security code, I'll make a copy of the key for you. When is the party exactly?" Alec said as he pulled off his suit jacket and threw it over his chair.

Magnus didn't say anything so Alec looked up, and was struck by the other man staring at him rather intently. He was looking at Alec's hands as he unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt and started to roll them up his forearms. Interesting. He cleared his throat.

Magnus made a humming sound, but continued his intense perusal of Alec's hands. "Saturday around 2. It shouldn't take me more than a few days to have everything set up. Thank you."

Alec just grunted. "I'll drop the key off tomorrow.."

Magnus waved his hands again. "I'll just come by here and pick it up, no trouble at all." He stood from the chair and looked around Alec's office. "I'll let you get back to work, thanks again Alec."

Frowning just slightly he watched Magnus leave the building, eyes drawn against his will to the utterly delicious way Magnus filled out a pair of tight skinny jeans. It was annoying that he found the man so damn attractive, but luckily he'd learned how to compartmentalize it in college. Shaking his head to push Magnus to the back of his mind, he looked down at his desk and picked up the new case folder. Opening it with anticipation, because despite it all Alec loved his job, he looked at the new suspect and let out a frustrated groan.

Pandemonium. Camille. Fuck, Magnus' partner. Well shit, his day was about to get interesting. No way could he take this case. He stood up to head over to his Director's office when the man himself strode through Alec's door.

"Alec, I see you've seen the case file."

"Yes sir, I can't take this case Director Garroway."

"I know your relation to Magnus as he's your sister's best friend, that's actually why I want you to take this case. I'm relatively certain Camille is blackmailing him Alec. I want you to find out one way or the other. The actual case work is being done by other officers, I want you to figure out what Bane's part in all of this is."

"Sir are you sure." Alec said uncertainty.

"Alec, I'm Clary's father. I've known Magnus as long as you have. I need him thoroughly looked at, and there's no one on this team or in this building I trust to be as thorough as you. Also, there's no one in this building he respects more than you. So if anyone can get him to cooperate it's you."

Alec gaped at him. "What? Magnus doesn't, I'm not..." he sputtered.

Luke raised his brow but Alec just continued to gape. Luke rolled his eyes. "For gods sake Alec, you're one of the best investigators we have, I will never understand your near total obliviousness."

Alec shook his head. "I don't understand."

"Yeah well I'm not explaining it today, I have actual work to do. Get going on the Pandemonium case. Keep me posted."

Alec sighed and slumped back down into his office chair. Well shit he thought, he might have to put off his trip to the match maker. With a stubborn frown at the folder in his hand he snapped it shut and thought, no way in hell, he'd made up his mind. He could do both. With that decision made he quickly typed up an email to Lydia asking for a consult, and then logged into the FBI database to start compiling data on Camille.