2 days to go.
2 days till i decide my whole future.
2 days until i decide if i'm going to stay with my family and friends or go into the unknown.
I know what I want to choose, but I know I have no choice.
It was all decided 2 years ago, when my best friend moved away, we made a plan and i've dreaded it since the day we decided. Not to say i didn't agree to it, or that it isn't the right thing to do. But I hate it. Although I'll never be able to live with myself if i don't go along with it.
'Beatrice' my mother called jolting me back to reality. 'Dinners ready'.
I fast walk down the stairs, as quickly as acceptable for Abnegation, unlike my brother Caleb, i'm not naturally selfless and i can't just do selfless acts or follow our rules or guidlines.
See we live in a society with 5 factions', everyone in a faction has a common goal. Like amity believe in Kindness and Harmony, they believe war and fighting are what's wrong with humanity. Candor believes in honesty and order and blames deception for human faults. Erudite are the 'smart' ones who value knowledge and logic. They blame ignorance for humanity's are brave, almost like our police, they blame cowardness and are dedicated to bravery and courage. Finally, Abnegation (or stiffs as everyone calls us) value selflessness and lead simple lives and think selfishness is to blame for the world's faults.
As i join the table, we say grace and start serving, we pass the food to the right as always. I'm not surprised by what we're about to eat. Chicken with minimal seasoning, potatoes and peas. It's almost the same everyday. See we only use part of our rations, only what's necessary. We give the rest of it away to the factionless. They're those that don't belong in any faction, or failed initiation. Abnegation and Amity hardly turn any away so most are from Candor, Erudite or Dauntless.
'I need to tell you all something' my father says interrupting the comfortable silence. 'Erudite are releasing more and more articles about us and how we shouldn't be the governing faction. That means we are being studied/watched a lot more than usual while they try and see something that we're doing wrong, so we need to be careful, along with both of your choosing ceremonies coming up, i understand that it might be a lot of pressure, but please try and not do anything stupid.'
'Of course, it's no pressure' replies my brother Caleb. I just nod my head in agreement.
'Me and your Father just want to say, with your aptitude test and choosing ceremony, make sure you listen to your heart and don't worry about us.' My Mother says lovingly looking us both in the eye before turning to look at my Father, I see them hold hands, it makes my eyes brim with tears as i see the love they have for each other, even if they have minimal contact in public following the abnegation rules and values.
As we finish dinner I get up to wash the plates, dishes and cutlery while my brother dries and puts it away. I hug my mother before going to bed and thinking about what might happen during tomorrows' test.
-*page break*-
On my way home I think over what just happened and what my final decision will be. I remember the lady who took my test from the tattoo on her neck. Only dauntless have tattoos. I sat down on the chair and drank the serum. There were a series of levels but i could only remember 2:
The first was about a dog who turned into a puppy. He then ran after a small abnegation child before i lept on him.
Then there was a man on a bus, but I lied to him. I'm obviously not a candor!
When i woke up she rushed me out the back door, telling me that she was sending me home ill. I didn't feel ill. I asked what my result was and she told me they were inconclusive.
I don't fit into just one faction. I fit into three! THREE!
What am I supposed to do now? Then I remembered, I had no choice in this anyway. It was already decided.
We quietly ate dinner before my parents told me and Caleb how they loved us and were proud of us no matter what happened. They let us off of doing the dishes so we could think about our choice for tomorrow and get an early night.
-*Page Break*-
I woke up remembering what day it was. My whole future started today. I got up and had a short shower. I put on some of the drab grey clothes that I've come to loathe. I go down to see my mother already started on breakfast. I immediately go to help her as my abnegation nature kicks in.
'Beatrice, instead of helping me with this, could you please set the table, only for three though. Your father had to go and help set up the City Hall. He'll meet us there later.'
I do just as she says as i hear Caleb coming downstairs immediately going to help us until we tell him to sit down as my mother serves us.
When we're finished, we go down to the City Hall and spot my father with Marcus. Abnegations leader so technically our city leader. I don't like him, so I have to control my face to not scowl. My father quickly excuses himself to come and stand with us and say our goodbyes. Caleb and I go to sit at the front and our parents in one of the matching rows of abnegation.
Before they go my mother whispers a final sentance to me.
We line up and wait.
'Caleb Prior' calls out Marcus.
He walks up confidently and drops his blood onto the stones.
'Abnegation' Marcus says.
No surprise.
'Beatrice Prior'
I walk up making sure not to stumble, that would be embarrassing, i press the knife into my palm. I look up to my mother and remember what she said 'Follow your heart'. But I know I can't do that. The blood falls. There's gasps and murmuring…..
Marcus calls out….