This chapter is dedicated to my lil' sis @chenoahchantel, without whom, I might not have even started Determined, BUT she be there to egg my ass on and gas me up when my ideas don't even be formed or sensible. That girl done had to put up with so many messages that didn't make a lick of sense to her while I'm brainstorming and she just be here for the ride.

Chef's Kiss

Jasper planned on going to college, but wasn't really sure what he wanted to do. He thought about psychology a lot, but his stepdad promised him a portion of his company if he got a business degree. He didn't know what he wanted to do, but he knew that he didn't want to be in his stepdad's debt.

He could start another podcast, this time about something more people cared about than those who were bucketeers. ExJasperation really was a hot title! But, he didn't know what it would even be about. He thought about putting all of his silly "records" on the Internet for the world to see. Because, he did kinda live for applause, but he knew that he wouldn't receive Charlotte's, so it'd be besides the point. What the heck could he do, for his future that could be for their future. Because, honestly - she seemed like she had one foot out of the door, like all of the time.

They were super lovey dovey in private. She'd never admit it, but she loved that romance stuff and being delicate and vulnerable, and he loved being able to give her that. He loved having someone to care about and feel protective of. And while Charlotte could sometimes hurt his feelings with a single look or tone of disapproval, she mostly made him feel affirmed.

Plus, she never truly seemed like he had won her completely over, which gave him the opportunity to feel like he was still on a mission to do so. Jasper loved a good challenge and being close to Charlotte was nothing else, if not that. She was full of mysteries that he wanted to uncover. She was proficient in erecting walls that he wanted to be the man who was good enough and strong enough to either breakthrough, or be granted passage over. Plus, they were friends, so he wanted to do it the right way. He wasn't perfect and not necessarily always even good or kind when it came to girls. He'd been known to use a few tricks to get what he wanted. Charlotte knew that much about him, so he in turn knew that he'd have to really prove himself and come correct to gain and keep her trust and respect. He had his boyfriend title, but Jasper wanted to go for broke with her. He wanted everything. All of it, all of her, all of it with her. He didn't know just yet what the hell she wanted, though.

However, if he had to guess - a real man, smart, capable, strong, etc… also as aforementioned by her, herself… rich. He didn't feel like any of those things, but had always believed that what he didn't have, he made up for it with charm and dedication. That might work for non-Charlottes… but.. he was stressed out, way more than he'd let on about being her guy. And also… what the heck could he do with his life that would make him money? He was 18. This was the age that he spent most of his life saying he'd figure out what to do by then. He hadn't figured out anything. To make matters worse, he told his parents that he and Charlotte were together, and there was not a shred of support given. If anything, there was a sea of doubt explored.

.

Charlotte wasn't sure what was going on with Jasper lately. He barely touched her, he wasn't coming over so much and he was playing it super cool whenever she was the one to try to initiate affection or make plans. Was he mad at her? Was he just going through something? She wasn't gonna press him, but it was messing with her. She'd watched Jasper make everybody around him crazy while trying to knab some girl, then get bored and move on like a switch had been flipped. She promised herself that nobody would ever do her like that… so just imagine how she might feel if Jasper tried it?

"Hey. You okay?" She asked. He went on a face journey, which she interrupted to say, "Because if you aren't and it's me, then I expect the same respect you expect from me to communicate it."

"It's me," he said, kissed her on the forehead and walked off. That was kind of more frustrating than if he had said it was her!

"Baby…" she said, then widened her eyes. He turned sharply, smiling and she shook her head, "That was weird. I don't know why I said it." He just smiled and nodded. "But… are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

He sighed and came back to stand in front of her. "My mom." She almost said 'Say no more,' but, she was concerned. "She thinks that I'm gonna get hurt by you, especially if we…" he shrugged his shoulders, "She thinks I'm the virgin and you're having a fun little trist with me."

"Okay. But you and I both know that none of that is true, so why let her bother you?"

"Because, what if it's reversed and I mess you up. You don't even like… well… stuff. So, I've been trying not to engage, so I don't feel like I'm putting any pressure on you."

She squinted her eyes and asked, "Are… we speaking about sex right now?"

"We're talking about not sexing."

She had a look of realization. "Okay." She laughed and nodded. "I see. You think that because I came out as ace a few years ago and have never had a relationship or sex that means that I won't do it or don't eventually want to try it."

"I mean… isn't that part of that.. identity or orientation.. or whatever?"

"I mean, for some, I'm sure. But, Jasper you've got to communicate with your partner about her specific desires and needs. Because, first off, I don't think it would ruin anything, least of all ME and just because I'm not sexually motivated doesn't mean I pyshically can't or that I'm repulsed by it. Besides, I'm still ace, but lately, I think I may be a demi."

"A demigoddess?" He asked, and she knew he was asking in all seriousness.

"Wow. Yeah. Let's go with that too." She laughed and pulled him closer to her, looked him dead in the eyes and said, "Don't be afraid, Jasper. I'm not fragile or defenseless… and I'm open to try things. Wouldn't know what the heck I'm doing, but I'll let you know when you need to be careful with me." She kissed him on the lips and shoved him playfully, chuckling to herself. "Demigoddess. You are such an idiot."

"You only think that because I'm merely human," he joked. But secretly, he was gonna have to look up what "a demi" actually meant. Because, he hated asking her to explain things to him so much. It made him aware of how much smarter she was and he didn't want to remind her of that, ever. It was hard enough just keeping up with the living legend of her.

.

Whenever he read: a demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone… a few things happened.

He noted to himself that Charlotte declaring herself this also meant that she was sexually attracted to him.

Charlotte was also admitting to having a strong emotional connection to him.

He could pursue his girlfriend without guilt of pressure!

So, three months into dating his best friend, Jasper was alone with Charlotte, in her bedroom, with her parents gone and the mood simply felt right.

Jasper nibbled on her bottom lip for a while as she watched, confused, wide eyes, bushy tailed. She could tell something had shifted in him, with them. Was this about to happen? Realizing that it most definitely was, she tried to kiss him back, but he gently pressed his forehead against hers and pushed against her with it. She furrowed her eyebrows and stared at his opening eyes as he made eye contact and shook his head a little.

Now, she laid there, even more perplexed and wondering why she didn't expect some weirdness from him. Of course, he'd pull something that she never read about in her studies. He didn't do that the other times that they kissed. "Just memorizing your taste tonight," he said, and finished with one defined hard peck against her lips. "Now, you can kiss me," he said with a playful smile.

Any other circumstances and she might have given him a piece of her mind. But though he was being a little demanding, it was more controlled and confident, (which she read as hot) so she followed his instructions, because apparently one of them knew what they wanted and what they wanted to do. He did this on a path down her body, until he got where he was going, where she sensed was his endpoint of the taste memorization journey.

Charlotte didn't know what she expected, but it hadn't been to have a life changing event. She read enough clinical information and compared it to enough publicized personal accounts to prepare for disappointment, especially grading on the curve that this was Jasper, whom she only recently even became attracted to and despite her attraction, he was still in fact, Jasper.

When he came up for air, she was both speechless and unable to move. He was fine, with the exception of looking slightly love drunk as he cuddled her to himself, kissed her behind the ear and whispered to her. "You taste better than I've even been imagining. Ineffable, really."

First off, double sploosh for bringing good vocab, to what she gathered now was a fight instead of a delight - a fight she was most definitely losing, having showed up unarmed unless she counted overconfidence as a weapon, and even then; he'd disarmed her. "You're like.. what's the gesture when they put their fingertips to their lips and," he completed the gesture for her.

"I believe it's called the chef's kiss," she managed to say, breathily.

"Chef's Kiss. That's you." He said and did the gesture again. She just laid there, blushing and knowing he obviously didn't care if she recovered from the previous battle. He gently helped remove the rest of her clothes, then his own shirt before looking at her, wondering what she was thinking or more importantly if she wanted what he wanted. She reached for his pants and he smiled, but shifted aside to remove them himself before climbing next to her and collecting her again.

'Good,' she thought, 'Maybe I'll have a chance to get him back somehow, right?' Nope. She wasn't thinking about the fact that this wasn't Jasper's first rodeo, just hers. He wasn't the type to kiss and tell (at least not her, and before now she wouldn't have asked or even been curious to know what kind of girl wanted JASPER). But… bih… the me kind. Every girl that she casually knew Jasper to have engaged with, in her opinion was a little (or lot) out of his league… but as he changed Charlotte's entire life, in this moment, she realized that she had grossly misjudged whatever Jasper's league WAS. "Oh shit," she whispered to herself. He checked on her and she simply got out of her own mind and held him closer.

"I'm never going to hurt you, take advantage of you, or take you for granted," he promised her at just the right time to make her cry and silently pledge the same. Silently, because once again, speechless, and if she could think straight, she'd probably add useless. Either the stats were lies, or Jasper was an extraordinary man! Oh. God. Jasper was an extraordinary man. She smiled as she held him tightly. And he was hers.

"Did you really just make me yours forever?" She asked, quietly rubbing his chest gently, feeling dainty, vulnerable, and honestly more like herself than ever before.

He made eye contact with her, said, "I can't tell you that, but I sure hope so," and winked at her.

.

Charlotte nervously walked up to meet with Jasper and Henry… Jasper and Henry? Even how she identified them changed. It was always "Henry and Jasper." Now, somehow someway Jasper was first. She obsessed over the things that she didn't know about for hours leading here. What was he gonna tell Hen? WAS he gonna? She remembered overheating him low-key brag about his first time, a couple of years ago and being so grossed out by even the suggestion of that; she'd decried, "Never tell me about, or speak of you and anyone doing any of that, in my presence, for as long as I live." Jasper generally always respected her wishes. So, she didn't know just how he and Henry spoke of his conquests. Because whenever he talked to her about them, he never mentioned the physical engagement. Just romance and practicalities of plans, etc.

In her estimation, from overhearing, or Henry casually name-dropping the girls, she figured that Jasper had at least kissed perhaps 9 girls that she knew of, made out or done more with perhaps 7 of them, if her murky memory of details she avoided served her anything, and as far as she knew, she was the 3rd or 4th of that number that he'd gone this far with.

Then again, for all she knew, he'd done this very thing to all nine of them and just played it off well, pretended to be cool to not show her what she told him not to, or literally didn't really think much of those events. For all she knew, he didn't think much of what they shared, either! The idea of that was somehow terrifying, whether or not she would admit or show it.

She had no idea what he would treat her like today. He promised not to treat her poorly, but given the position they were in at the time, that could have been an ambitious declaration. She heard Henry say, "Third time's a charm!" And suddenly felt extremely exposed, wondering what he was talking about. Was it her? Had Jasper told? Had they made high pitched tongue noises and wiggled their fingertips together?? Did Henry ask for details out of morbid curiosity???

"What are you two talking about?" She asked more high pitched than she intended.

"Speaking of charms," Jasper said, immediately making her melt. "A kiss for good luck?" He lifted his hand to her like a movie socialite and she leaned to kiss it, laughing a little, though still unclear of what she walked up on. "It's on, now." Jasper said turning to Henry.

Henry observed, "I'm suddenly feeling unlucky."

"Yeah!" Jasper said and they went for a third round of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Charlotte sighed as Jasper celebrated and Henry grunted in defeat. She needed to pull herself together. Those two were FINE. SHE was the one tripping. "I knew you'd tip the scales, Chef's Kiss!" Jasper collected her by her side and pulled her in to plant his lips on the temple of her head. Her face warmed at the combination of that public claim to her, the nickname that she knew where she got it, and just his manly touch, in general. She couldn't believe that she was feeling this way about and seeing Jasper this way. He gently ran his thumb up and down the center of the back of her neck and she let out a whimper that his eyes confessed he both noticed and probably expected. She looked at Henry to see if he noticed. He definitely noticed something, but he wasn't sure what.

"You okay, Char?" Jasper asked. Now, that motherfather knew she wasn't okay!

"Yep." She lied and shoved him his breakfast bag and cup. For Jasper, this morning, she had told him don't eat breakfast. Presently, she said, "I made you something." Henry just noticed that she had an entire other bag. It was a tote bag with a fashionable girl with an afro on it, but inside, was apparently a little meal. "I know you've been super into the maple bacon donuts from that bakery near my house, but I made the mistake of asking about the nutrition stats and long story short, I hope you like the maple bacon breakfast pie recipe I found online and prepared instead."

"Wait, what?" Henry asked.

"You cooked me breakfast?" Jasper asked, gushing.

"I didn't take away your morning milkshake, but I changed it up a bit for less sugar content and more vitamins. Still tastes pretty good and hopefully better with the love content of me using scientific formulas on a freakin' breakfast milkshake."

He smiled cheesily and clutched her to himself as he bragged to Henry, "Know what I call this? Wifey material. You oughtta get you a girl that cares about great taste and good nutritional content." Before Henry could think of a witty retort, Jasper was pulling Char in for another uncomfortable to Henry kiss. She ended it and continued walking ahead of them with confidence and certainty.

"Umm, Jasper, what'd you do to Char?" Henry asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen you wrap girls around your finger before, but this is Char and it's quite unnerving."

Jasper blushed and waved a hand at Henry. "She's not wrapped around my finger. She's just thoughtful and nurturing…" Henry cackled to the clouds at that assessment and Jasper shook his head and kept walking. Charlotte turned around to confront Henry. Jasper still continued walking, reaching into his breakfast bag.

"What's funny, Henry? You don't think I'm thoughtful and nurturing?"

"No! I don't think so, because it's not the truth!" Henry said, "Obviously."

"I literally have brought you breakfast every single day, JUST BECAUSE you whined once about being left out!"

"Well, that's just honest math. You get paid more than me."

"That's because you either always forget to ask for raises, or you always ask at the wrong time, against my STRONG advice!"

"It'd be thoughtful if you included me with those raise asks whenever you ask for you, Jasper, and Schwoz!"

"I explained to you that the one time that I DID do that, it made Ray THINK about the question and I had to backtrack and remind him that you were in a different department and probably not my business. It's too risky for my raises to bring you up whenever I request them!" Jasper let their bickering be background noise to his exquisite breakfast. She'd made 4 mini pies and they were SO GOOD, but he knew she probably wouldn't be making these every morning, so hopefully, he could convince her to plug the recipe into the auto snacker, because this was gonna be his new breakfast of choice for a few reasons. One - his babygirl had made them for him specifically. Two - they were so delish… Charlotte interrupted his thoughts whenever she pulled him into the argument with Henry, "Jasper! Tell the truth - am I thoughtful, and Henry's wrong… or is Henry right to suggest that I don't think about others?"

Jasper took a big swallow and dusted his mouth and shirt off while Henry observed out loud, "Jasper ALWAYS agrees with me. You think that a few kisses and some pie can buy a lifelong friendship of unity and agreement?" Henry asked.

"I think that Jasper is an individual, and whether or not I am his co-bestfriend slash girlfriend, aka Chef's Kiss, he can make decisions without you, unless he actually agrees that I'm not thoughtful."

Jasper knew what this was. Charlotte had just instructed him to publicly agree with her, instead of Henry. She'd put emphasis on words to help guide his decision making process. She'd brought up his new nickname for her to get him to consider what was at stake if he sided with Henry. But… He agreed with both of them. So, he might as well have a double win with his lady. "You're extremely thoughtful," he said and kissed her on the forehead. "Breakfast was delicious and you still included Henry, even though he isn't your child or man." Henry shook his head and Jasper shrugged his shoulders. "I can be bought with pie, I guess." That Chef's Kiss pie.

As Charlotte continued, victorious, Jasper whispered to Henry, "But, I agree with you in spirit - thoughtfulness definitely isn't one of her strongest points." He patted him on the shoulder and they continued walking, Henry with his mouth wide open that Jasper would side against him just for a little lovin'!