Yo. chenoahchantel… This went in such a different direction than what we discussed some weeks ago. Mane. I cannot keep angst out of my business!
Senior Week
They had gone to prom together, as previously planned. Henry didn't feel like a third wheel because he and Jasper were out on the dance floor a lot more than Charlotte was. If anybody was the third wheel, she felt like it was probably her. They had taken hella photos in the Man Cave, for Ray, obviously, because who TH else would be able to see those? He also took some in the store, in case he wanted to share or display.
Then, they had to take some at each of their houses. Char in a silver dress with red and blue accents, Henry in a red suit with blue and silver accents, and Jasper in a blue one with red and silver. It was Captain Man's colors and the school colors, so they could excuse it away. Uncle Roscoe and Auntie Cohort were at the Pages for picture time, which made Henry feel weirded out. Jasper's mom was cordial, but Charlotte noticed how she was avoiding eye contact with her and focusing more on photos of Jasper and Henry. And, well… The Hart house was just like it always was - like it was everybody's house. Nobody felt uncomfortable and the photos there were the ones that they shared on their social media before the limo got there.
Afterwards, Jasper spent the night at Charlotte's, pretending to be at Henry's, Henry spent the night at another friend's, pretending to be at Jasper's, and Charlotte straight up discussed with her parents since she was about to graduate, was 18, and sexually active that she was going to have Jasper over, but promised to be safe. They were more comfortable with that than the alternative - her lying and sneaking away like her two best friends were doing to their parents, at the moment. The deal was that she and Jasper better not make enough noise for them to hear/become less comfortable with this arrangement. She agreed, even though she knew that Jasper had a bad habit of getting loud. So, she bought him a bite down pillow for those moments. They didn't even wind up doing anything. They were both so tired, they fell asleep shortly after showers.
Anyway, prom passed and the three took their senior pics together, as well. Same color scheme with as many different poses as were possible. The boys had blue robes while Charlotte's was red and she also had a silver sash with all of her honors accomplishments on it.
Charlotte's faves were 1. one where they were in their gowns and the boys had her lifted on their shoulders, 2. one with her in her letterman jacket, showing off the back, which read Chef's Kiss, Jasper in a cape with April 9, Jasper Dunlop Day, and Henry with his hands on his hips wearing a t-shirt with "And Henry!" on the back, and 3. one where Jasper was kissing her on the cheek and Henry was leaned in like he would kiss her cheek, but making a grossed out face instead.
All three had several together and several single shots too. They decorated their hats together and she followed whatever end of the year plans that they had made (when she wasn't busy).
Senior week came boys had been waiting all year for this, to be perfectly honest. Char wasn't as stoked until it came around. Charlotte's house was their regroup place, only because her parents were fine with the boys being there overnight. The Harts were fine with Char spending nights, too, but Char had two beds and Henry only had one that the three had to cram into when they all slept there. In past times, Henry and Jasper shared Char's spare bed, but now, of course, Jasper shared a bed with Char and Henry had the spare to himself.
Which, should have been more comfortable for Henry, but was somehow a little less so. For one thing, Jasper had a cuddle habit. If you sat near him, slept near him, you were gonna wind up a tiny spoon, no matter who you were, and Henry kinda missed the warmth of it in Char's freezing bedroom.
Whenever Henry couldn't sleep and woke up and glanced over, of course Jasper was a big spoon for his girlfriend. That was normal, for anybody. But… one thing caught his attention. Okay, more than one - like Jasper's arm was around her neck, kinda like a chokehold, but more like a choke hug and that was a kind of weird place for it, to Henry, but he couldn't put his finger on why. His nose was buried in the back of Charlotte's neck and you could hardly see his face beyond her afro, which… again… was weird, because he knew that Jasper snored and that Charlotte hated snoring. But, they were together now, and he did sleep over at times, so maybe she was used to it by now? However, the one thing that really caught his attention and even gave room for him to make a little gasp noise was where Jasper's other hand was. It was on her… well, you know. Cupping it, like. Like, one arm was hugging her neck and the other hand was hugging her…
Now, he couldn't sleep at all. Charlotte and Jasper weren't doing that, were they? Because… he was their best friend and he didn't know anything about the possibility. Charlotte always acted repulsed by anything physical, as far as he knew, but she had been pretty publicly affectionate with Jasper over the past months that they had been together… but surely one or both of them would have told him if they were INTIMATE intimate. Had he really been left out of this? Okay… He could totally see Char not wanting to admit out loud something like that, but Jasper told him everything? This was messing with his mind. How long had they been? He gasped again! He'd asked Jasper "what did you do to Char?" not too long ago and Jasper had simply smiled and LIED and said she was just nurturing. Hmph. Nurturing that D, was more like it. Well, well, well… He eventually fell to sleep but woke up with a start again. Were they doing THAT in that bed, while he was asleep? He looked over. No, they were just sleeping. Jasper was moaning or groaning or something. Having a nightmare, maybe? Charlotte rubbed the arm that was around her neck and that seemed to calm him back into a peaceful sleep… well, not quite peaceful with the snoring, but sleeping, at least.
.
Henry had tried to fish for information about it. "How did you two sleep? You looked awfully cozy."
Jasper smiled and said, "I always have my best sleep whenever Chef's Kiss is with me." She smiled too and collected her clothes to go into the bathroom and get changed. Jasper and Henry changed in the bedroom. Henry noticed a few things - Jasper had what looked like hickies on his chest, possibly bruises, but he was guessing hickies, maybe even bite marks? (Dude, Jasper was getting ripped! He hadn't noticed before now), and whenever he turned, he had what looked like scratches down his back! So they WERE INTIMATE intimate… and freaky to boot, because, wtf was this animalistic marking stuff? "You're shaping up. What have you been doing? Working out by fighting wild beasts?" Jasper blushed, but gave Henry a warning look. He wasn't gonna discuss what he knew Henry was trying to ask him about.
Charlotte came out before he had the chance to say anything else, though. "You guys wanna stop by the bakery or somewhere? I think we've got stuff to make breakfast if anybody feels like cooking. I know I don't."
"I'm not hungry," Jasper said.
Henry said, "I can grab something from the bakery." She nodded, packed her bag and gave Jasper an unnecessary playfully scratch on the belly, like she was petting a dog or something. Why'd she do that? He smiled and kissed her on the nose. Had they been this affectionate this whole time and Henry not noticed just how much, or was this a part of their new routine, since they were sharing privates?
Whenever they got to work, Jasper and Charlotte were in the store and Henry was down in the cave. He was watching them on the monitor. They were working. It was a normal day. They weren't all over each other or anything. Just, cleaning up the store and merchandising and such. Whenever Ray came in, Henry just couldn't resist saying something to someone about it, "Hey… So… You know how Charlotte's all anti-touching and all that?"
"I don't know if I'd say that. She's got a boyfriend who's constantly pawing on her," Ray said.
"Is he? I don't think that I noticed it before last night. Now, I can't unsee it! But, from what I saw, SHE goes to HIM for the affection!" Now, they were both observing the camera and the couple. Jasper was bending over, doing something and Charlotte, out of the blue tossed something at him. "Was that a quarter?" She bounced a quarter off of his butt and giggled. Jasper stood up abruptly, then smiled and sauntered over to her for a kiss, then they went back to work. "SEE? It was HER!" Henry said. "What did he do to her? He changed her, Dude."
"You know what that is? She's dickmatized," Ray said, simply and nodded his head. "Yeah. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but now that you've mentioned it, that's exactly what it is."
Henry's eyes were on Ray now. "I'm sorry. What?"
"Charlotte was always Little Miss Buzzkill, ruining people's fun and being generally uptight and disagreeable. She gets a new man and new lifestyle and loosens up, now she's bouncing coins off of butts on the clock. That's because Jasper's yanno… doin' her right."
"That's… shameful. Charlotte's not the kind of woman to be swayed by… by THAT."
Ray shrugged his shoulders and wondered, "Then why'd you bring it up?"
"I saw something last night and this morning. Well… last night, they were asleep and cuddling, you know, which is normal for couples, though weird to see the two of THEM in that light. But, his one arm was hugged around her neck, cuffed like, and his other hand was cuffed, was like… on her… well, it was…"
A look of realization passed on Ray's face and he snapped his fingers and pointed, "He was cuffin' the muffin."
"Did you say…"
"I said what you couldn't. He had her cradled to him like somebody was gonna steal her from him and he was cuffin the muffin!"
"He was cuffin' the muffin!" Henry repeated. He covered his face, embarrassed that he had just repeated such a thing. Ray gave him a single nod. Henry peeked at him through his fingers and asked, "So… I'm thinking… They're definitely doin' it, right?"
"Oh, nobody casually cuffs the muffin," Ray said. "Jasper's been hitting that for a good amount of time, if he's cuffin the muffin. I'm sure of it. Muffin cuffin is very profound, if you're asleep. Awake, it may just be tryhard. You know, cuffin the muffin to prove she's yours and looking like a douchebag. But asleep? That's some serious cuddle culture, cuffin the muffin."
"You can stop saying that, Okay? But… Charlotte's asexual and has never even been interested in anybody before now. Now, her first boyfriend, she's quarter off of butt bouncing and chest biting?"
"Chest what now?" Ray asked, way more horrified than he'd been about the cuffing.
"This morning, I see Jasper shirtless - he's gotten ripped, by the way,"
"Probably all the regular sex he's having with Charlotte," Ray injected, throwing a few pieces of candy into his mouth. Henry ignored the comment.
"AND he had these hickies or bites marks or bruises on his chest and he had scratch marks on his back. I joked that he'd been attacked by an animal and he just blushed."
"So they're INTIMATE intimate! Well, good for them. I love this new, loose Charlotte and Jasper's become extra cool now. Think they both just needed somebody bizarre enough to get them, to, you know… Be that comfortable with. What's the problem?"
"They haven't said anything to me. Neither of them. I mean, I guess I could've presumed, because they've been together what.. Like almost a year now? Like half a year, at least? I guess I thought they'd want to share news like that with me."
"Well… If they're in love and happy… You don't need to know the whys and hows, Kid. Just… be happy with and for them." Henry nodded, but he still felt left out. Ray laughed to himself and said, "Cuffin the muffin. I need to trademark that."
"You actually should look into that."
When the couple was back in the Man Cave, Henry was acting all weird, but Jasper had a feeling it was about his "passion marks" that he'd seen earlier. Ray kept laughing to himself, so Jasper presumed that Henry shared his bit of information with him. Maybe he should talk to his friend about things. "Hey, Henry, can I ask you something?"
Henry folded his arms and nodded, "Yeah?"
"Are you okay with me and Charlotte? I mean, I know you weren't really on board in the beginning, then you were supportive, but now you seem like you're back on the fence?"
"I'm good. Are you and Charlotte okay with me? Because you went from lying about having feelings for her, to getting mad at me whenever I tried to make sure she'd do right by you, to straight up just leaving me out and not telling me anything."
Jasper looked confused, "We talk all the time."
"Not about everything, though, right? I saw you two sleeping together. You were cuffin the muffin!" Henry said louder than he planned, causing Ray to laugh, from across the room. He lowered his voice. "You've got scratches and hickeys. She's bouncing quarters off of your butt. You've been going up the tube, and neither of you even mentioned it to me!"
Jasper squinted at Henry's choice of words. "Going up the tube?" He repeated.
"She's dickmatized!" Henry hissed. Now, Jasper took a step back and chuckled, trying to keep his cool. He didn't know if he liked Henry using a word like that to describe Charlotte. Now, if Charlotte had said it, that'd be a different story.
"Okay. Look… We are not gonna say stuff like that about Charlotte."
Ray and Schwoz came over, in case something juicy was going to happen. Henry went on to say, "Well, Ray is the one who taught me the word."
"And you just… repeated it?" Jasper asked.
Ray interjected with, "Jasper. We see how Charlotte has changed into a fun and caring person. We appreciate the work that you've put in… going up the tube."
"Stop saying that!" Jasper fussed.
"We appreciate the work that you've done," Ray said.
"I don't appreciate the kinds of friends you're being to Charlotte. She was always fun and caring. You just don't ever give her much of a chance because you're usually wrong about something and she corrects you," Jasper told Ray. "And you… She compiled your entire resume and made you sound good for college, when you're a C average student who's always late and misses a lot of days. She's had your back how many times in this very room? She never even really snaps at you or talks down to you…"
"I'm not the one who commented that she had improved since you've been doing the wild thing. I said that you two got together and shut me out!" Henry fussed.
"Just confirm that you are indeed doing her and I'll leave the conversation," Ray said.
"I'm not authorized to have that conversation," Jasper told him.
"So, it was Charlotte that made you keep this a secret from me?" Henry wondered.
"Charlotte doesn't MAKE me do anything! But, I'm not gonna just go around talking about what we do in private like it's some kind of casual pastime. The reason I never said anything to you about it was because it's nobody's business. It's not something that she's comfortable talking about, so I imagine she wouldn't be comfortable with me talking about it and I wasn't gonna violate her comfort that way and I'm not gonna risk her trust in me. I've worked too hard to win her over and I'm not doing anything to endanger something that's as sacred to me as this is!"
Charlotte walked up looking confused and wondered, "Hey… What are you guys talking about?" They all spoke at the same time.
Jasper: Boundaries
Henry: Secrets
Ray: Dickmatized
Schwoz: I honestly only caught part of this.
She sighed and looked at Jasper, "What happened?" she asked him, specifically. He just rolled his eyes at Henry and shook his head. He had said what he felt he needed to, and he could talk to her later about it. Instead, he changed the subject. "Hey! I need your help on a little business venture for the end of the year!" He said.
She looked at the others, dispersing, except for Henry, who leaned against the table and looked like he wasn't finished with whatever just happened. "What is it?" She wondered.
Jasper said, "Well, we all know that you are the resident genius who will eventually go on to do something amazing, SO, I figured we could charge people for you to sign their yearbooks, so that whenever you're famous, they'll already have your autograph slash will be able to pretend that you were friends before your rise to glory." He looked really excited about this idea, but Charlotte gave him a doubtful look. "I need you to do the actual signing. I do everything else, and you can tell me how much of the earnings you want for your labor."
"Jasper, nobody in that school wants me to sign their dang yearbook!" She said, laughing. "I literally only have two friends."
"Right, but you have clients on a waiting list. Here are all the people that I got to sign up for the offer who want me to contact them when you can sign their yearbooks."
He showed her a list on his phone and she stared at it, perplexed. "Why would you do this?"
"Because, I knew that I could convince people to purchase this product. This is their last chance to get noticed and acknowledged by you before you become a world renowned scientist or whatever. They want a piece of your backstory!"
"There's more people on this list than are even in our graduating class."
"Yeah. Because underclassmen know what's up too."
"How did you even? Did you like suggest this idea to people?"
He shrugged nonchalantly, "I campaigned for the truth. You're going to be the next somebody special and they should be willing to pay to have you immortalize their yearbook. Here's the price list." He showed her another list on his phone.
"Whoa."
"We stand to make a lot of money. It'll really help me out. I don't have quite enough for my tuition next semester," Jasper said.
Her head looked up quickly and she wondered, "Tuition? You got word back and didn't tell me? Where are you gonna go? Swellview U or the Community College?"
He smiled bashfully and said, "Actually, I got in somewhere closer to you…" He showed her his admission letter and she squealed, jumping up and down and clapping, then rushed to hug him.
"Jasper! You didn't tell me that you'd only be half an hour away!" She said, and swatted him across the chest. Then she looked at Henry and asked, "And did you know?"
Henry looked heartbroken as he shook his head and tried to smile, "Sure didn't."
Jasper expounded, "After Char fixed up our resumes and made sure that I had included things like my Swellview holiday, my law changing efforts and protest, and alternative sports victories, with a few letters of recommendation from her parents, and digging up that my dad was in a fraternity, which would make me a legacy… I looked better on paper."
"Well, you've never really had a problem with book smarts," Charlotte said. "Especially social sciences, social studies, and language arts, and I can totally help you out if you have any struggles with science and math, since we'll be not too far from each other. Wait! Are you gonna pledge to your dad's frat, too? I mean, that's an excellent idea, because you totally would get in. You do stupid stuff for no reward around here all the time, Hazing should be a breeze, and think of the connections you could have!"
"I know. I considered all of that. It's awkward that I don't really know my dad that well and I used him that way, though."
"Awkward my big toe. He owes you SOMETHING. He's hardly handled his child support and he's not even pitching in for your tuition? Got you whoring out my signature.." She looked at him really fondly and it made him so proud of himself. She kissed him on the cheek and said, "I'm so freakin' excited. I'm gonna go call my mom about it." She pulled out her phone and started walking away.
Jasper leaned on the table next to Henry and said, "I wasn't leaving you out. I'm just trying to make sure that I focus on building with her. Before this, I didn't know what direction I was gonna go in. Now, I mean… It's not extremely clear, but it's clearer."
"Yeah, it's all good. I'm happy for you, just like you'd be happy for me. I just didn't realize that I was gonna have to miss both of you."
"We're 3 hours away. That's not terrible."
"I feel like once you start classes, plus having a serious girlfriend while in college, plus pledging to a fraternity…"
"Plus Dodge-oline and extracurriculars… and whatever job I find…" Jasper said, thinking about that part for the first time. "Aww, Hen. I'm sorry, I wasn't really thinking it all through."
"You were thinking about your relationship and your future with Char. That's what's important. You'll at least keep in touch, though?"
"Of course! And, we're not gone yet. We still have senior week and stuff."
"Are you gonna come to Senior Skip Day, now that you've dropped this news on me?"
"Nice try. I have perfect attendance on my transcript. I need every accolade that I can have!" Jasper said, chuckling.
The three of them left together to get to the senior banquet and Ray and Schwoz watched them get on to the elevator. "Henry's gonna be fine, right?" Ray wondered.
"Oh, I know… I'll try to hire some other likable kids around here to make him not think as much about those two."
"I can make clones… or shape shifting robots?" Schwoz suggested.
Ray thought for a moment, then waved a hand, "Nah! We'll just get him a cake."