Author's Notes: I don't know why these chapters are all so short. I meant to write longer chapters, but I guess I just haven't had that much time to write this fic. I know FTL is not popular, so I just want to say I am grateful for those of you who have given it a fair chance. I also want to thank the guest reviewer lana del fae for her lovely review. With a fan community this small every kind word matters :)
Chapter 4
When Captains Get Bored
Sandra couldn't believe she was having to deal with this. She outranked Ryan, and now he was giving her orders? This was an outrage!
"Why am I the one cleaning out the combat drone?" Sandra whined, "Why can't you or Ariel do it?
"Captain's idea: Feed combat drone fish tacos," Ryan reminded her as he crossed his arms.
"How was I supposed to know it doesn't eat?" Sandra replied defensively, "You and Ariel are mechanical, but you eat!"
"Not tacos," Ryan stated dryly.
"Ergh!" Sandra growled, but didn't have a retort, so she continued to clean the taco gunk out of the drone with an electric toothbrush while Ryan watched impassively, "Shouldn't you be in engineering or something?" Sandra then asked in a rude tone of voice.
"Requirement: Pilot. Ryan volunteers," Ryan replied.
"Oh, I get it. Make me clean up the drone so you can steal my seat," Sandra deduced.
"Feed the drone: Captain's idea," Ryan reiterated, "Orders?"
"What? I can still give orders around here, captain?" Sandra replied with playful sarcasm, "Alright fine. You can pilot for the next jump. Just tell me if anything goes wrong."
"Drone: Required," Ryan warned her, "Ambush: Lethal. Drone: Necessary for defense."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be done soon," Sandra grumbled, "Just don't crash my ship."
Ryan left without a word, having gotten what he wanted. Sandra knew she probably wouldn't live this stupid mistake down, but sometimes it was hard to tell in space what was alive and what wasn't. Aside from the Engi there was also a mysterious mechanical race called the Lanius. Engi believed ships were alive, and as far as Sandra could tell they might be. So, why not share her taco with a drone? Well, because she had to clean it up, that was why.
Ryan meanwhile got in the pilot's chair and set a course for the next jump. He didn't mind traveling through Engi space. Here it didn't matter if he was a bad pilot, because he was home. Besides, if he broke something it wouldn't take long to repair. For now he'd just enjoy the ride and hope the next jump wasn't into an asteroid field or something.
As it turned out the next jump had no bad weather (thankfully), but it did contain a rebel ship. Ryan was nervous. The rebels treated this ship differently than their old one because it looked like a Federation cruiser. If they attacked him, then he would have trouble dodging their attacks due to his lack of piloting experience. He needed Sandra back at the console, but hated to take her away from her job of fixing the drone she ruined.
Gathering his nerve, Ryan hailed the ship and hoped they would at least hear him out.
"Identify yourselves," The rebel captain demanded, "Are you a Federation ship?"
"Identification: Merchants," Ryan told them, "Purpose: Trade. Intentions: Peaceful. Confrontation: Undesired."
"Pretty big ship for merchants," The rebel captain observed, "If you're lying to me..."
"Deception: None. Purpose: Only trade," Ryan insisted, "Rebels: Allies. Weapon for sale: Bio beam. Price: Up for negotiation."
"You wanna sell us a bio beam?" The rebel captain asked, "Well, that would be useful to us. We're not officers though. We don't have a lot to trade."
"Price: Negotiable. Captain Perkins: Really hates that thing," Ryan added cheekily.
"Heh, some captains just don't get it," The rebel captain replied sympathetically, "Before I took over our old captain would attack everything that moved. We lost so many men that way. Even our old ship. We finally lost him on one of those ill-fated raids."
"Our old ship: Lost to asteroids. Reactor: Crapped out," Ryan recounted, "This ship: Designation: Leaky Bucket."
"Hahaha! Yeah, right! It's clearly anything but!" The rebel captain chortled, "Hey listen, you let us board to inspect the weapon, and I promise you won't have any trouble from us. Okay?"
"No weapons," Ryan insisted.
"Of course. No weapons," The other captain agreed.
With that promise between them Ryan turned off the comm and set the ship to drift. He ran out of the pilot's room to the closet they kept in the medbay and grabbed the orange and white uniform. Sandra would have to do some more of her convincing acting to get out of this situation.
The negotiations for the bio beam went fairly well, all things considered. The good part was that nobody got shot. The bad part was all the rebels were willing to trade for the weapon was 16 scrap, two missiles, and a drone part. Missiles didn't resell for as much as one would think, but otherwise everything else was useful to the crew.
After the trade was completed Sandra invited the rebels that came on board to have dinner with her and her crew. Ryan didn't like this idea, but didn't protest. He knew that the rebels, while a well-intentioned organization when it came to humans, was also a group that believed aliens were the ones harming the Federation. Rebels disliked non-humans, and Engi were decidedly not human.
As everyone sat down in the kitchen Ariel served up their meals for them. Ryan almost hit his head on the table when he saw what his partner was serving everyone: fish tacos. Ryan just couldn't catch a break today.
"You guys are gonna love these," Sandra told the rebels, "We bought them from Cramos IV where there's a thriving human colony that farms swai; a fish native to earth. Some Zoltan spices also help bring out the flavor."
"It's nice to have some real food," One of the lieutenants agreed, "I'm so sick of combat rations. They all taste like if toothpaste was somehow made of meat."
Everyone laughed at his description with the exception of the two Engi, who didn't understand the reference.
"I know what you mean," Sandra replied goodnaturedly, "One time on Sanction 21 my class was supposed to make our own form of nutrition, but the ingredients were all from the planet. A planet designed to sustain mechanical nanites, I might add. Trying to make that metallic mush into something edible to humans was a pretty tall order to ask of a kindergartener. Hah!"
"You lived on Sanction 21?" The rebel captain asked, "I was once stationed there back when I was serving in the Federation's armed forces. I defected to the rebels a few years after that, of course. Sanction 21 wasn't a bad planet though, if you could find someone that spoke proper Terran Standard."
"Engi: Adept at universal translation. Speech barrier: minimal," Ryan pointed out.
"See what I mean?" The captain asked with a wry smile, "Engi always sound like they took a normal sentence, chopped it up, removed the small words they didn't want, and then taped the sentence back together. It's so much easier talking to other humans."
"Admittedly the speech pattern takes a little getting used to, I guess" Sandra replied awkwardly; not comfortable with where this conversation was going, "However, I think all it takes is a little more exposure to Engi to understand them. I lived on that colony until I was 19, and I had no trouble navigating life there. If anything the hard part was learning not to talk like them. The only reason I don't live there now is because the job market is fragged up. Ryan, Ariel, and I bought a ship so we could make our own fortune and not be saddled with what the Engi call 'career assignments'."
"Career assignments: Can eat Ryan's nonexistent shorts," Ryan agreed vehemently.
This strange proclamation from a being the rebels believed to be emotionless was met with uproarious laughter and a couple of shocked faces in the crowd. Sandra smiled at Ryan from across the table and lifted up her glass to show her approval. If anyone could get out of an awkward situation it was Ryan; Sandra's best friend and the greatest salesman ever forged out of trillions of tiny microscopic machines. Ryan's face carried no expression, but Sandra still knew he was grinning.
Dinner went over smoothly and dessert went even better. Sandra had bought a frozen sprinkle cake that she thawed for the occasion. While the humans chatted about human things Ariel and Ryan decided to excuse themselves from the conversation. They met in the oxygen room so they could guard it just in case. Oxygen is, after all, a vitally important part of spaceship travel.
"Rebels: Somewhat annoying," Ariel whispered to Ryan.
"Rebel's money: As good as anyone's," Ryan shrugged, "Profit: Adequate."
"Adequate: Insufficient for cost," Ariel scoffed, "Humans: Irritating. Superiority complex: Enough already."
"Ariel: Humorous," Ryan replied sincerely without actually laughing, "Transaction: Almost complete. Patience: Required."
"Fifty percent of your scrap: Mine," Ariel insisted.
"Agreed," Ryan nodded, "Status: Rebel Personnel records?"
"Status: Completed. Desirable outcome: Not achieved. Rebel captain: Identity: Confirmed. Roy Sherman. Recent contact from Federation: Tony Sherman. Relationship status: Brothers. Perkins: Playing dangerous game."
"Sandra's game: nonexistent," Ryan told her, "Acquaintance with Sandra: 24.257 cycles. State when meeting Sandra Perkins: Infanthood. Ariel's comprehension of bond: Impossible. Ryan's loyalty: Absolute."
"Loyalty to rebels: Possible?" Ariel asked him pointedly.
"Loyalty to Sandra: Unwavering," Ryan vowed, "Scenario: Sandra joins rebels. Outcome: Ryan joins rebels as well."
"Ryan: United to Ariel," Ariel reminded him, "Sandra: Not united to Ryan. Ariel: Status: United to Ryan."
"Conflict: Nonexistent," Ryan assured her, "Leaky Bucket crew: In this together. No conflict of interest currently detected."
"Good," Ariel replied sternly, "Scenario: Ryan chooses Sandra over Ariel. Outcome: Ryan is thrown out of airlock by enraged Ariel. Guarantee: Absolute. Suggestion: Don't mess with Ariel."
"Understood," Ryan nodded in agreement.
Without another word Ryan returned to engineering and Ariel returned to weapons, having come off the heels of what the Engi would call a disagreement of intent. Humans would call it a lover's quarrel. Either way, it was a good thing there was no couch for Ryan to sleep on.
Sandra helped the rebels load the bio beam into their cargo hold. They would take it to a nearby fuel depot to have it installed, so fortunately Sandra didn't have to put on her spacesuit and float out to drill a giant flesh melting gun onto their ship. That meant she was free to converse and not worry about suffocating.
"I've gotta say, dinner was excellent," The rebel captain told Sandra, "It's so nice to find fellow humans out in this Engi wilderness."
"Some wilderness. This sector is crawling with state-of-the-art technology," Sandra pointed out, "By the way, what are you guys doing out here? This place been conquered already?"
"Not conquered, liberated," The captain corrected, "Humans in this sector are basically second class citizens. Every other race in the galaxy thinks they're better than us, but we're here to prove otherwise. No species is as adaptable and as complex as we are. We deserve to be the masters of the galaxy."
"Uh huh. Just don't throw you back out from carrying that thing," Sandra quipped.
"What? The bio beam?" The captain asked.
"No, your ego," Sandra smirked.
"What? You agree with the Feds?" The captain asked crossly.
"No, but I don't have to agree with you either," Sandra stated, "You both want a better galaxy, and you both think you're the ones that are gonna make it better. Me? I don't care. Anybody's money is good and the forces of deep space are too much for anyone to control. The Federation can't stop supernovas. The rebels can't stop ion storms. We can mine asteroids, but when one pierces our hull all we can do is patch it up and move on with our lives. No species can solve everything, not even humans."
"We don't need to solve everything," The rebel captain debated, "Just the alien problem. When the Mantis War happened that should have woken the Federation up. Other species see us as a target. The Mantis were just the most obvious. The Engi and Zoltan try to worm their way inside our government so they can influence us. The Slugs try to steal all of our money and our best jobs. Rockmen try to intimidate us. They say the Lanius have even returned to certain abandoned sectors of space. We always have to be on alert, and no amount of your sass is going to change that, captain."
"True, but sass is my best weapon, so I'm going to use it whenever I can," Sandra replied unapologetically, "Also, captain, no need to be so formal. Call me Sandra. By the way, you got a name, big guy?"
"Roy," The rebel captain blushed while looking perturbed; caught off guard by the change in subject, "Roy Sherman."
"Sherman? I met a Sherman in the last sector. Called himself Tony," Sandra commented, "I told him I was a Federation captain to get some free scrap."
"Tony Sherman? That was probably my brother," Roy told her, "We went into the reserves together. When I joined the rebels I tried to convince him to come with me, but he was so blinded by Federation propaganda. Sandra, we're not the bad guys here. We deliver food to civilians, we keep our colonies safe, and we put the human race first. Do you know what I mean?"
"Sure, I think I see where you're coming from," Sandra shrugged indifferently, "Where I'm coming from though is that ship docked with yours, and on that ship are two of the finest crew members I could ever ask for. I don't care who wins or who loses. I just don't want anything bad to happen to Ryan and Ariel. They're the closest thing to family I have left."
"Hm, sounds like there's a story to go with that statement," Roy surmised.
"There is, but you'll never know it," Sandra winked, "If you and your Fed loving brother ever decide to start talking again, tell him Sandra Perkins says hi."
With that Sandra sauntered away and crossed the docking bridge back to her ship. She knew she probably didn't make any friends by defending her Engi crew, but she didn't much care. In her experience space was a big place, so she likely would never see him again anyway. After all, a super weapon was a one time purchase. It wasn't like she could sell him fabric or old data pads.
As Sandra made it back to the dining room she saw that the table had already been cleared of dishes thanks to her friends, and the two of them were playing cards.
"What game are you playing?" Sandra asked.
"Current game: Gin Rummy," Ryan replied.
"Cool. I play winners," Sandra said as she sat in the chair in between the two players.
"Future match: Perkins vs Ariel," Ariel declared.
"Incorrect. Future match: Sandra vs Ryan," Ryan contested cheekily.
The trash talking and strategy continued, and Sandra was content to just watch them play for a while. Soon the rebel ship would detach itself from their ship and fly off, and then The Leaky Bucket could go to the FTL beacon. Until then however, it seemed like this was the perfect way to celebrate another mediocre transaction.