Authors note: Hey guys, I'm Ailey! this is my first ever fanfic! :) So i would really appreciate reviews and rates and all the feedbacks :D This is kind of a short first chapter but more is coming. I am going to try to update every few days.
This story is slightly AU in some of the prison world details, that I'll fill in as we go along. All the AU things are to make it more Bamon centric, obviously lol.
There will be an author's note at the end of this chapter so check it out! Okay Enjoy! xoxo
Home With You
Chapter 1
Chapter Rating: M for depictions of violence, abuse, and self harm. Brief reference to sexual violence.
#
It's in the boarding house kitchen, ironically the place they shared most of their time together in 1994, where he sees her again.
She's kind of numb, and a lot scared, darting her eyes around like she's expecting an attack. Her left hand clutches the leg of a cream colored teddy bear.
He can't believe his eyes, but he knew this was coming of course. He has been waiting for this moment — has been waiting for her — since he got Liv to send Ms. Cuddles, stuffed magic carrier extraordinaire, back to 1994 for his little witch to find.
And find it he knew she would.
"Bonnie," he touches her shoulders gently and she flinches. "Bonnie, it's me. You're safe. You're home."
She looks tired, hurt, but still beautiful, still Bonnie.
"Am I really back?" The timidness in her eyes shatters his heart into a million pieces.
"Yes," he breathes, breaking into a smile, pained but genuine. "You made it back."
"How do I know you're real?" Her voice is so small and confused, he wants to cry.
He lifts his hands up to cup her face, stroking her cheeks. "I'm real. I should have never left you alone there by yourself. I-" His voice breaks. "I'm so sorry."
Her big green eyes grow wet with emotion and suddenly she's in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist, burrowing her face in his neck in happy sobs. He lets out a surprised laugh of joy, squeezing her tiny body to him as tight as he can, relishing in their shared embrace. Eventually he puts her down and she wipes the tears from her face and says, "Now I know I'm hallucinating. The real Damon would never be so sweet without calling me annoying first."
His face is stretched in a toothy grin. Too happy to remember to sport his signature cocky smirk. "I can't believe I'm saying this but… I might have missed you, witchy."
The beautiful smile she responds with sends his chest and belly into flutters. When did I become so human? The question flits across his mind before he forgets himself in her glowing presence again.
"I missed you too," she whispers and her eyes shimmer with sadness.
He wants her in his arms once more but they have never been so close, never hugged like that, before this moment, and he's terrified of how fragile she seems.
Instead he furrows his brows and softens his voice. "You okay?"
She drops her gaze, lips quivering with overwhelm, shaking her head wordlessly. Damon closes the distance between them and holds her to him again. "Shh, it's okay. You don't have to talk about it right now." He strokes her back until she calms down a little.
They stay like that until she speaks again, muffled against his chest. "Damon, I don't want anybody to know I'm back."
"Why?" He ever so gently lifts her chin to meet his gaze.
"I-I'm not ready. They'll have so many questions and I just can't handle that right now. I want to see them, but not yet."
He nods, understanding. "Stefan has his own place now so you can stay here with me for as long as you need to. Like old times. Just the two of us."
He smirks, intentionally suggestive, but she seems relieved.
"Thank you, Damon."
"Don't mention it."
She steps out of their embrace and smiles at him — god, he's missed that smile — before something unidentifiable flickers in her eyes briefly. "Elena?"
He stiffens for a moment before relaxing again. "It's a long story, but we're not exactly speaking right now. She won't be coming around here."
It is Bonnie's turn to stiffen. "I'm sorry, Damon," she sighs earnestly.
I'm not, the voice in his head spits, and it surprises him. But he doesn't want to open up that can of worms right now, not when his Bonnie has just returned, not when she needs all of his attention.
So he just winks at her. "I'm just happy I have my judgey little witch back."
She smiles big and bright again and he wonders how he made it this long without her. "How long before you kick me out on the streets for being annoying? I'm thinking… two viewings of The Bodyguard?"
He laughs — "You wish you could get rid of me that easily" — and drapes his arm over her shoulder, guiding her up the stairs to the guest bedroom next to his — "I'm never leaving your side again, Bon Bon."
#
Bonnie takes her time in the shower, scrubbing away any lingering vestiges of 1994 off of her body.
She scrubs roughly, ignoring the scars that Kai left all over her body. Trailing up and down her back and her abdomen, her chest and thighs. Between her legs.
She shivers under the hot water. Kai liked to take out his frustration on her, his knife his favorite way to express himself.
How many days was she strapped to that table in his apartment, sliced open, bleeding, crying out for Damon? How many times did she pray that he come back for her?
The torture didn't even matter because Kai left her there, and then the real horror started. Days of solitude stretched into weeks of isolation. It didn't take long for her to conjure up an imaginary Damon by her side to pass the time. It worked for a while until it didn't. When she felt the vampire slipping from her grasp, she turned to the memories of the violence and the abuse, sharp and painful, to remember that she was flesh and blood.
To remember that she was alive.
A couple times she split open her wounds again, tearing into the grooves and lines that Kai's blade had left behind with the blunt edges of her fingernails, until she screamed in cold anguish. It was all she could do to not feel like a ghost.
Now as she washes her marked up body, her soapy hands absentmindedly scrubbing up and down her scars, protruding and swollen, she does not think of how Kai mutilated her. She does not dwell on the knowledge that he has destroyed her body forever, that she will forever have to hide herself and her skin, that a lover will never be able to look upon her nakedness again without horror and disgust.
She does not think of these things, because her mind is fixated on a single, happy memory. Seeing Damon again, leaping into his arms. His laugh, his gentle touch. His stupid smirk. Playing on a blissed out loop in her psyche, as she rubs in the shampoo and washes out the conditioner.
She hadn't even realized how much she missed him until her christened "witchy" fell from his lips. She had even missed their fights, their bickering. She would gladly take that for the rest of her life. No questions asked.
They had spent months together, just the two of them, and somewhere along the way they became something to each other. The maddening, idiotic vampire she once hated had become her Damon, her best friend.
And then he was gone, just like that, and she had never known a darker period in her life.
She shakes the nightmare away and exits the shower, careful not to look at herself in the mirror, quickly dressing herself in Damon's pajama pants and sweatshirt. It's all she wore after he left: his lingering smell was the last remaining comfort she had, one of her final tethers to sanity. She had resigned to wearing all his clothes, sleeping in his bed, even using his body wash.
A smile spreads across her face when she imagines how he would tease her if he knew.
Once she settles under the covers of the bed in the guest room and turns off the light, her body feels like a bag of bones. The exhaustion hits and she closes her eyes to sleep, when a familiar fear creeps into her throat.
She begins to wonder if she has imagined it all like she imagined so many times in that hell; her escape, their reunion, the safety of his embrace.
Nothing but a desperate fantasy, and she's still trapped, hopelessly insane, utterly alone.
The thought of being alone is constricting, suffocating, suddenly crushing her windpipe in the darkness.
I'm not alone… Damon's right next door…I'm not alone…Damon's right next door… I'm not alone… Damon's right next door…
She clings to her mantra but the fear continues to rise and twist around her, strangling, pulsating blackness, serpent like in its movement.
She considers yelling for him but she can't bear it if she calls out to the empty dark and there's no reply. She knows she won't survive it.
Her throat is dry and she suddenly can't speak his name even if she wants to.
Damon.
Panic shoots through her body and in seconds she's fleeing out of bed, running to his door at the end of the hall and flinging it open.
#
Damon was lying shirtless on top of the covers with the lights dimmed when he hears Bonnie's heart rate spike next door. Before he could move, she bursts into his room, chest heaving, panic written all over her pale face.
"Bonnie?" He immediately smells her fear and jerks up to a seated position on the bed in concern.
Their eyes meet and he watches as relief visibly washes through her system, her body slowly going limp limb by limb. He briefly wonders if she's going to collapse and readies himself to catch her if she falls. But she doesn't, just hovers, a couple feet from his bed and gazes at him.
"Bonnie?" He tries again because she's staring at him like he's just made love to her and his stomach is swooping under her look. Damn it, Salvatore, get it together.
She blinks and snaps out of it, straightening her stance. "I..I wasn't sure if it was real or not," she stammers, and then her voice drops to a whisper. "I thought I was alone again…. back there."
He swallows and his fingers itch to cradle her face — she looks so cute in my pajamas — but he just sits there stricken on the bed, looking up at her helplessly. He finally pats down on the mattress with his hand while she eyes him blankly. He pushes, "Come sit down, Bon Bon. You look like you're about to pass out."
She obeys and clambers onto the bed and only when she's comfortably seated next to him does he turn to her again, searching. "You had a nightmare?"
"No," she admits with a shuddering exhale, staring at her hands. "When I close my eyes, I start to panic and think I'm just crazy and alone. When I saw Ms. Cuddles again, I thought it was all in my head. My brain creating this fantasy escape route because the alternative was too unbearable. To be honest, I don't know if this" — she gestures between them — "moment is real."
Tears fall from her eyes and Damon feels his chest tighten with a need so foreign but so intense it terrifies him. Tell me how to make it better, little bird.
"I'm so, so tired, Damon. I just want to sleep but I'm so scared that this is all a hallucination or a dream and then I'll wake up and.. and you won't be here."
He takes her hand in his and squeezes as tight as he can without hurting her. "I will be here, Bonnie. I swear to you. I'll be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and every day until you don't want me there anymore." She laughs thickly, beaming a watery smile at him — how is she so goddamn beautiful, even like this — but the sadness in her eyes makes him want to rip his own heart out. He settles for wiping a stray tear off her cheek with his thumb. "And until you believe that, you're going to sleep here in my bed with me."
He expects her to refuse, protest, roll her eyes, smack him, put up a fight — it is Bonnie after all; many a time in the prison world he joked about them advancing their relationship to bedfellows, which earned nothing short of an onslaught of slaps and punches to his chest and arms — but instead all she does is sniffle and ask, "Are you sure?"
In that moment he realizes how much she needs him, how defeated, how broken she is, and his heart falters again, down a spiral of anguish. This is my fault. I never should have left. I should have brought her back sooner. I should have saved her.
"I'm sure," he manages.
Minutes later they're both under the covers with the lights off, several feet apart in Damon's obscenely large California king bed, muttering their good nights. Damon lays on his back, arm folded under his head. He starts to doze off after a few seconds when he senses Bonnie on her side, staring at him.
"What are you doing?" he asks after a minute, keeping his eyes closed.
"Nothing."
The corners of his mouth twitch at the hint of defensiveness in her voice, that an ordinary person would never be able to detect but that he picks up on because well, she's his witch.
"You're staring, judgey."
"Oh. That."
He sighs loudly and shifts so he's also lying on his side, mirroring her form. Sure enough, her eyes are wide open and they lock gazes in the dark.
"Is this your way of seducing me, Bon Bon? Because I gotta say, I expected better."
She snorts. "You wish, Salvatore."
"What is it then? I know I have perfect bone structure and I'm irresistibly sexy and handsome but you can ogle me during the daytime like you usually do."
"Please. The only thing I've ever ogled at is the size of your damn ego."
"You think my ego's big? Wait till you see my—"
"Damon!"
"I was going to say heart. You witches with your naughty thoughts and dirty minds. Unbelievable."
He chuckles and catches the ghost of her grin, her pearly whites flashing in the darkness between them.
Wow, I missed this… missed her. He feels a pang of hope because she's still clearly one hundred percent Bonnie, all fire and banter, his ideal partner for all things verbal, including but not limited to flirting and diabolical plans. And as much as he wants to do this all night with her, they both know she needs to sleep.
But her eyes are still wide, glued to his face. He waits for her.
Finally, she asks, "Was it you who sent back Ms. Cuddles?"
"Yup." He pops his p.
"I should have known it was you."
"Uh duh, Bon Bon."
Her gaze doesn't waver.
He sighs and tries again, gentler this time. "Seriously, what is it?"
Silence for a few beats.
"I'm memorizing you." Her voice is soft and sad, and he swears he feels his heart skip a beat. "I'm memorizing you so that when you're gone again I'll be able to remember you more clearly. Easier. For longer."
His throat tightens with something unnameable — what is she doing to me? — and he forces it down. "I can't wait until you wake up tomorrow and every day after that and realize that I'm still here." His voice is harsher than he means it to be but she needs to hear it.
"I can't wait for that too." He can hear her smile.
"We're never going to get to tomorrow if you don't close your eyes and sleep."
Silence again.
"I'm scared," she whimpers.
"I'm right here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
"I know but…" she's tearful again, choking out her words, "when I close my eyes, the loneliness fills up my lungs and my throat and my insides like black tar and I… I feel like I can't breathe."
It slowly dawns on him. She needs to know I'm here when she can't see me. "Bonnie, I want to try something. Do you trust me?"
"Yes." Her answer is immediate and he can't pretend like he doesn't notice the warmth that swells in his chest.
"Turn so you're on your other side, facing away from me."
He hears her whine in hesitation but she does what he says. No sooner does she flip over that Damon pulls her body back into his, her back flush against his naked chest, sheltering her entire frame with the curve of his body. It's the most tight and secure spooning situation he's ever been in; he makes sure that every inch of her is pressed against him before he wraps his arm around her and envelops her hands in his.
She's tense at first as he adjusts around her, but when he nuzzles his face in her neck and drops several chaste kisses on her clothed shoulder, her body starts to yield. Let go. Melt into him.
She is impossibly soft and warm and it takes everything in him to not shudder with pleasure at the feeling of her in his arms.
In the back of his head he knows this isn't normal 'best friend' behavior, this kind of closeness. Hell, he doesn't think he's ever done anything this intimate with Elena, even. And he's acutely aware that the old Bonnie would set him on fire before letting him touch her in this way. But right now she needs him, and he needs to make her feel better any way he can, and he can't help but notice how natural this feels, how they — their bodies, too — just fit so comfortably, so easily, so well.
When he brushes his lips against her ear and kisses her temple, she turns to pudding in his embrace.
"Okay, Bon Bon, now I want you to close your eyes."
He feels a current of fear tense through her again so he gently shushes her and lightly kisses her earlobe until her eyelids flutter closed.
"Are your eyes closed?"
"Yes." Her whisper is breathy, relaxed.
"Can you feel me?" He squeezes her even tighter, rhythmically stroking her hand with his thumb.
"Yes."
"You know I'm still here?"
"I know."
"You know I'm not going to leave you?"
"Yes."
"Are you still scared?"
"No."
"Good. Keep your eyes closed."
He can feel her fast barreling towards unconsciousness as her breathing slows and deepens.
"You're not alone, Bon Bon," he whispers against her hair, "I'm not going anywhere." He presses a soft, lingering kiss behind her ear.
The tiny moan that escapes her throat makes his stomach practically ache. Jesus.
"Damon—" she starts to thank him, voice heavy with sleep, but he shushes her again.
"Tell me tomorrow, little bird."
And with that she falls into her slumber, while Damon stays awake, tightly curled around her, making sure her dreams are sweet and easeful.
Thank you guys so much for reading! Again please R&R cus like I said this is my first ever fan fiction/written fiction ever xD
Will write/upload chapter two hopefully in the next week!
I know our girl Bonnie is suffering right now but she will get her mojo back eventually I promise! I just really want to write comforting & protective Damon cus *Swoon* am i right
What do you guys think of Damon in this story so far? Do you think he is OOC? I don't think so bc at this point in season 6 he is way more in touch with his humanity even if he's still Damon! By the time Bonnie got back to Mystic Falls in the show, it was pretty clear Damon really loved and cared about her!
Although this story is gonna be mostly Bamon centric I am going to TRY to include other characters and have a little plot :) key word… TRY lol
Here are some things coming up:
What happened between Damon and Elena?
What happened to Kai?
and of course our two favorite characters having more fluff, bonding, angst, banter, flirtiness… all the Bamon glory.