Naz couldn't go to sleep; he'd been staring at the ceiling for at least fifteen minutes (though it felt like an hour). Last night he'd been so tired that the events had all just kinda faded away and let him be. But now, he was tossing and turning. Eventually, he grabbed his blanket and bounced all 4'11" of his pajama'd self into the living room. He was an energy box, a power plant, and there was no way he was going to sleep right now.

Ancom was sitting on the couch, staring at quis? quer? hands. Naz would have to ask about that. He would try with these pronouns, he really would, he decided. The anarchist was so engrossed in thought that que didn't even notice Naz until he jumped onto the couch right next to quem.

"Hellooooooo!" he grinned, tossing his blanket over himself as he flopped onto the tattered sofa.

"Oh! Hi there, Naz," replied the startled anarchist. "I thought you were going to sleep?"

"Can't sleep," Naz explained. "Wanna, uh, play a game? Watch a movie?"

Ancom shrugged. "Sure, what game do you have in mind?"

"Minecraft! I always wanted to play with a friend," he chirped. "I've been trying to get a win at Hypixel UHC, but," he stared down dejectedly, "I never have."

[A/N: this takes place in an alternate timeline where Hypixel has servers for consoles]

"UHC, huh," replied Ancom thoughtfully. "Those can be pretty fun. What's your setup?"

Naz took out two game controllers, used so much that the logos had worn off, and plugged them into the TV. "We can split-screen, right? Do you know how to split the screen? I don't."

Ancom jumped up from the couch with the baseball bat that que kept on hand at all times. "Allow me!" que grinned.

"Wait, no, wait!" squeaked Naz. "Not like that! I mean, like, make two screens! Instead of one!"

"Oh, share screen!"

"Yeah!"

Five minutes later, they were in the game's lobby.

"My heart is going crazy," muttered Ancom. "Haven't played a UHC in ages."

"Shaking and quaking," added Naz wisely.

The game started. They had ten minutes to get ready before PVP enabled, but Naz knew a way to kill others before that was even ready.

"Ancom, d'you have a spare water bucket? And some lava?"

"What, you building a portal or something?"

"No," Naz smiled slowly. He'd seen another player who had already had full diamond armour, eight minutes in. He knew that if the grace period ran up, that guy and his team-mate would absolutely tear through him and Ancom. So he'd take matters into his own hands.

He snuck up behind the player in the tunnel that he was mining through, and in the blink of an eye, trapped his head in lava and placed water to solidify it into obsidian.

It took the guy plenty of time to die, as Naz tapped his fingers impatiently on his controller, waiting for the chest of loot to appear underneath a lightning strike. Ancom looked at Naz's screen, mouth forming into a silent O as que saw the carnage and Naz's brutal smile.

"I love this game!" Naz gushed. His angry grin fading away into one of bliss, he asked the anarchist for some apples to craft healing. He wasn't winning, and he probably wouldn't, but that was okay. He was happy.

They agreed to split up. Ancom began building a trap near the middle of the map, where people would be forced to migrate to as the zone grew closer. Naz opted to lure people towards a hole he'd built, where he'd then trap them in obsidian and beat them to death as they suffocated.

By the time the zone was around a quarter of its original size, Naz had quite a lot of spoils of war. He'd racked up seven kills, which was more than he usually got. And he began to feel hopeful.

"Oh, come on!" whined the anarchist.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone sabotaged my trap with cobble!"

Naz looked over and gasped. Not at the conglomerate of snow, sand, and rocks that was strewn across Ancom's screen. No, but the fact that-

"You're only half diamond?" Naz shrieked. "How many people did you even trap with that?!"

"...one," que admitted dejectedly, head hanging.

Naz shook his head in frustration. "Look, you have enough to make CORN!" Corn stood for Cornucopia, a grandiose dose of craftable healing that would be very useful in the end-game deathmatch that was happening in around ten minutes.

"Corn?" Ancom looked blankly at Naz, head tilted. "There's no corn in Minecraft."

Naz felt like he was about to scream. Had Ancom never played Hypixel UHC? Now that he thought about it, the possibility took hold in his mind.

"Oh, don't worry. I watch Fruitberries, you know him? UHC youtuber?" was the response to his voiced complaint.

"YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED HYPIXEL UHC? YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS NOW?!"

"I think I'm doing quite well at it, actually," responded Ancom haughtily.

Well, there were about fifteen players left. But still.

They met up at surface and Naz gave some armour to the anarchist, who accepted this "mutual aid", as que called it, quite gratefully. He showed quem how to craft golden heads and corn, as well as fusion armour and some good weaponry.

"I think we're stacked!" he shouted joyfully. They shared quite some healing between the two of them, as well as a fire aspect sword that Naz had won after a scary battle. Ancom had shown worth at running away from enemies, which Naz said could be useful for baiting others into a trap in the deathmatch.

At last, they were teleported to the final arena. Eight other players, some with teammates remaining, some without, awaited them. Naz had no idea their abilities, but had seen quite a scary battle involving a Flame bow. He gulped, adrenaline rushing his veins.

The countdown began.

10.

He slowed his breathing, closing his eyes as he placed his controller on his lap and rubbed his hands together, clearing them of sweat.

5.

His heartbeat doubled as the numbers flashed on screen.

3. 2. 1.

He ran, jumping along the way, to the midpoint, Ancom milliseconds behind him. Each of them grabbed a chest and opened it, stealing the items and running.

"Enemies spotted, 3 o'clock!" Ancom shouted.

"It's not that late, is it?"

"JUST LOOK OUT!" screeched the anarchist, bolting away and leaving Naz alone with two other players. From the looks of the situation, they were a team. They slashed at Naz in sync, enchanted swords blazing. He tried to run, but was eventually backed up against the wall. His healing nearly exhausted already, he tagged them with fishing rods to find out their healths.

112% and 94%.

He was so, so dead.

And as he pressed attack repeatedly, jumping up to get the crits though it barely mattered any more, suddenly one of them was shot backwards off of him. Caught on fire.

Then another one.

Each gave Naz a brief moment of respite as they doused themselves, which he took gratefully to heal. He didn't turn to face his unknown saviour, as he knew he could be shot too at any moment.

"Turns out, bows are pretty fun!" announced Ancom, shooting Naz's two aggressors again.

"How'd you get that Flame thing?" Naz gasped, shocked.

"Oh, it was just lying in a chest when I ran by."

He shook his head in amazement. Ancom had the audacity to loot someone else's kill? What a legend.

Together, the two of them defeated the members of the team. Naz grabbed the Knockback sword and ran to mid, fusing it with his own Fire Aspect and Sharpness to create something beautiful. A perfect killing machine.

This was going to be great.

Together, he and Ancom surveyed the arena. Two people were duelling it out at one corner, and another person rushed in to third-party them.

"Let's get this bread," Ancom grinned with gleaming eyes.

They shot and slashed, stabbed and gashed, a perfect synergy of Ancom's bow and Naz's sword, until it was two versus one.

"I'm out of heals," cried Ancom.

"Me too," groaned Naz. Things were looking grim.

"What's that in his hand?" A brown cube, rather than a weapon, rested in the hand of their opponent as he fled, Naz and Ancom both giving chase.

It can't be.

Oh, but it was.

"A Chest of Fate!" Naz exclaimed. "No way!"

Consuming the potion that lay in the chest after placed would make this opponent almost impossible to beat.

"Ancom," Naz muttered. "You stole loot before, right?"

"Yeah, wh-ohhhh. I get it. I get it. Yeah. I gotcha."

Ancom couldn't shoot, or their enemy would get further away from them. The two jump-sprinted in perfect unison, each knowing where the other would place a block and knowing where to avoid, where to go.

"He's slowing down! I think he's out of g-heads!"

The enemy placed down the chest.

"GET IN THERE, ANCOM!"

The chest's lid opened, two avatars staring in its abyssal opening.

One of them looked up and started drinking.

"I GOT IT!" screeched Ancom. "I [:)] STOLE HIS POTION!"

Naz rushed in and slashed the enemy with his sword, who caught on fire. Ancom began rapid-firing shots from a bow.

"We did it!" Naz dropped his controller as fireworks exploded all over their screens. "WE DID IT!"

They hugged it out on the couch, not caring about the screen's light in front of them. "I can't believe we won," murmured Naz, adrenaline already leaving his body as he collapsed into Ancom's arms.

"I'm gonna have to lecture you about not using 'he' to describe someone whose gender is unknown," muttered Ancom.

"Oh, c'mon, did you see his skin?"

"Shush" was the anarchist's only reply. But que still held Naz comfortingly, and let the small kid bury his head in Ancom's chest as he drifted off to sleep.