Through the Looking Glass

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or any of its characters, or anything really.

Not strictly AU, but AU elements

Warning: Swearing & mentions of life in a mental health facility.

Part Two

Piccolo stood outside the door to Goku's room and clenched a jade hand around the clipboard that he had carried around like a lifeline. The painted grey wood of the door was so dull as it looked back at him, he had to wonder just what the muse was for the decor in this place. Steady breathing met his keen ears as he waited, not really wanting to open the door. He shifted slightly, the black shirt did feel tight around his frame but at least it wasn't as strangely humiliating as the white coat that he was forced to wear along with it. He had never felt so astoundingly and unwillingly human. The Saiyan was sleeping still, which was odd in itself but he tried not to think too much about it. This was all probably taking its toll.

Like it was on them all. His empathy levels weren't anything to be proud of, but as he looked at Chi-chi who stood at his side, he could see that it was wearing her down too. Her usual, clear complexion was marred with pink where he knew tears had been falling, probably not long ago. His chest tugged a little and he felt like scoffing at himself. Her deep brown eyes gave him a look that said 'don't ask'. He wasn't going to.

The door opened swiftly enough, nothing here was new or old, and it all worked perfectly. The pale tiles gave way to the bed in which Goku slept, his orange outfit exposed where the pallid covers had slipped loose. It was only eight o'clock in the morning. Not that Piccolo had any idea how much time had really passed since this all began, it felt like time didn't really have a place here. It was like no time and the end of time all the same. Chi-chi followed his steps lightly, her flat black shoes touching upon the tiles like a ballerina in the opening sequence. He walked over to Goku and tapped him on the shoulder.

The Saiyan opened bleary dark eyes and looked up, confusion giving way to a gentle smile as he recognised the Doctor and his trainee. Even though his tone was pleasant, Piccolo picked up a wariness about him.

"Did I sleep in?"

Chi-chi flickered her eyes towards Piccolo before adopting a friendly smile.

"No, we just have a busy day and wanted to make an early start"

Goku opened his mouth and the Namek felt a conversation coming on. Piccolo lost patience so quickly that Chi-chi had berated him for over an hour afterwards. He whipped a thick needle from the black fabric of his trousers and stuck it in the side of the Saiyan's neck. Goku's hand went to his throat and the look he gave Piccolo was one of such deep betrayal that the Namek almost regretted it. He fell back with his mouth open, undignified and drooling. Chi-chi's expression was one of rage.

"What did you do that for!"

"We don't have time"

She shoved a small finger in his stomach, since she couldn't comfortably reach his chest, and delivered her very best parental tone.

"How is he going to trust us now!"

He rolled dark ruby eyes and shoved her out of the way. As her thigh hit the metal frame of the bed and she fell onto it, a part of him checked that she was okay while the other part of him hoped it would bruise. This whole situation was making him peculiar.

"It won't matter for much longer, the virus is almost at its peak"

Her wide eyes lowered as she registered the comment and with one hand clasped tight against her hurt thigh, she went quiet. It didn't last long, as Piccolo knew it wouldn't.

"We won't be able to do much whilst he's unconscious"

The Namek crossed his arms. It had occurred that he hadn't actually given this idea much thought. In fact, he hadn't really thought much past this precise moment. The tendons in his face felt like they were being stretched across a canyon. The uneasiness in his eyes must have told enough because Chi-chi's eyes narrowed.

"Right, give me the book"

Emerald brows drew in and he looked at her like the idiot he was convinced she was.

"What book?"

She rolled her eyes and quickly reached into his pocket. The feel of her fingers digging around near his hip was enough to make him rear back in a combination of horror and indignation. She ignored him, much like she would a tantruming Gohan. Pulling the book out, she could see that the cover was rolling back at the edges and she smiled fondly at the memories it brought. Chi-chi opened the pages of Alice's adventures in Wonderland to where the bookmark fell out, and looked down at the papery object as it floated to the floor. Her features went soft. It was a photo of Gohan, looking up with wide, innocent eyes at a surly Piccolo. She had taken it just two months before. Chi-chi glanced at the Namek, and whatever comment she thought of making, she swallowed it. Some things just didn't need to be said.

Her voice was smooth and gentle, much like when she read to her son, as she continued the story. Piccolo wasn't sure that this was going to achieve, but maybe it would help. At this point, he was open to suggestions. Drugging Goku had been only an effort to buy time. When he woke, time would cascade and soon their glass of sand would be bottom heavy. He crossed his arms tightly as he thought through every strategy his mind could conjur. Nothing stunning came to mind. How totally shit.

Chi-chi had been reading, in between blasting the Namek for his foolhardy plan in the first place, but he didn't care much. They had decided to just tell him the truth. Any more coercion and secrecy was likely to make things worse, if that was even possible. He cast a glance at the pink padded chair Chi-chi was seated in and he wondered again about the decor. Perhaps a part of him might be house proud, if he had a house that is, or was weak enough to require one. Either way he could see that the chair's size was clearly built for a human, as she sat in it comfortably and dare he say it, daintily. Goku stirred slightly as the words rolled off her lips.

"Where should I go? That depends on where you want to end up"

Dark eyes regarded them both more coolly than Piccolo had thought him capable. He guessed that perhaps the Saiyan had reached his personal limit of patience and understanding. Maybe there were just too many impossible things to believe here. Goku laid there, sheets wrapped around him but still the orange fabric glared from underneath in contrast. Chi-chi closed the book slowly, sure to place the photo securely as its bookmark. The Saiyan's voice was lacking in its usual friendliness and it reminded Piccolo of when he had to tie the man up in the beginning. In fact, he felt like Frieza, when Goku had decided to kill him.

"What is going on?"

Piccolo kept his arms firmly crossed as he spoke. The deep baritone made the Saiyan sit up in defiance against it.

"This isn't real"

Goku felt the sickly regurgitation of deja vu and grimaced.

"You are joking"

The light of the day was shining in through the small window but this time, the internal electric lighting had been left off. It cast jade skin in a pale light, except where it caught too white fangs. He only ever saw the sharp canines when Piccolo was angry or unsure.

"No, this" he waved a forest green hand around the room "isn't real"

Goku swung his legs over the side of the bed in anger and Chi-chi clamped her hand around the book.

"You've spent the last however many months convincing me that this is real!"

An emotion that might have been remorse crossed dark ruby eyes before they were steel once again.

"Actually, that...wasn't" Piccolo seemed to struggle at this point but Goku waited "it was me, sometimes, but only briefly. You had to believe we were a part of this...delusion"

Goku leaned back for a moment before turning to Chi-chi, he touched her chin gently and made her face him.

"What is he talking about?"

Those big chestnut eyes, the ones he fell in love with, were welling up now.

"This is just a part of your imagination, we came here to help you but...we can't interfere. Your subconscious had to believe we were a part of this reality that you created, or something like that"

His grip tightened and she tried to pull away. He didn't notice.

"You mean...you are my wife? And Gohan...I really do have a son?"

She nodded against his grip, with a strength beyond that of an ordinary human. Piccolo interrupted their short lived, bizarre reunion.

"Not for long, this delusion is becoming your reality, and telling you this might make it worse, but we can't wait any longer, you're-"

The words died on his tongue, or rather, in Goku's ears. The noise instead turned into a loud and piercing scream as the room faded into darkness. It felt like before, just before he woke up at Capsule corp, only now he was waking up back in this room, again. No, not again.

It took a moment for him to realise that it was his own screaming that he could hear.

"Goku! Stop! It's alright!"

Piccolo's hands gripped his forearms, talons digging in. Those dark red eyes looked at him but this time, there was no friend of old in them. He could see the reflection in their depths, of his own rabid wide pupils as he tried to catch his breath.

"What?"

Piccolo loosened his grip, exhaling a breath which he didn't remember holding.

"It was just a nightmare"

Goku frowned. A nightmare?

His breath was coming in short, raspy gasps and he grabbed Piccolo's hands in his own. The odd sensation made the Namek try to pull away but he held tight.

"Where's Chi-chi?"

"Goku let go"

"Answer me!"

The volume of the Saiyan's voice must have felt like a steel drum, and he saw the Namek blink against the onslaught.

"She's at home, probably. It's four o'clock in the morning"

He narrowed his eyes at the taller man.

"Then why are you here?"

Piccolo snatched his hands away, exposing some of the hostility he had kept hidden away so tight.

"Covering the night shift, again"

Goku couldn't help it then, his eyes started to well and he began to mumble something about a wife and a son. Piccolo sighed. He was so tired, so very exhausted that he felt like lying down next to the crazy Saiyan.

"It's alright. I'll stay, until you fall back to sleep"

He sat down in that Goddamn chair. Only, now the sound of his weight leaning into the cracked plastic made Goku's brain explode.

"No, that wasn't the nightmare. This is"

Piccolo's eyes were unreadable in the gentle light, the open door casting the corridor's electric gaze over them.

"Is it?"

The Namek said nothing, and Goku had the distinct feeling that it was deliberate. The silence went on.

"I asked a question"

He heard a shift as the Namek crossed his legs.

"What do you think?"

The question seemed ordinary enough, but it wasn't. There was an underlying sneer in its tone, not the gentle deep tones of a tortured Doctor, but the impatient tones of Piccolo. A Piccolo that looked so incredibly tired, and unsure. A Piccolo that was trying to help him, but had no idea how. If Goku noticed, he didn't show it.

Piccolo frowned. Looking at Goku like this was not as pleasing as he had imagined years ago, and he felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach as he sat there. This was going horribly wrong. They had been going in so many circles he thought that maybe they had kind of forgotten what the point was. Chi-chi wasn't here, she had passed out from exhaustion and he had detached her mind from this peculiar version of hell. She was probably sleeping, with the worried eyes of the Z senshi watching over her. If he tried, he could feel them even now. He couldn't remember though, if he had been sitting or standing when he had fallen this deep into Goku's mind. He didn't remember that he was in fact lying down next to Goku back in their reality, and the watchful eyes were casting their concerned gaze over the three of them.

Goku remained seated on his narrow mattress, seeming in a daze over what to think or believe. Sometimes nightmares were convincing, that was the problem here, and Piccolo knew it better than most. His Sire had left him with enough bad memories for a lifetime of night terrors. The other problem, as it was so delicately explained to him by an anxious Bulma, was that he couldn't just be rescued. Couldn't just be told to get a grip and stop being so ridiculous. His mind was so infected, and the virus had manifested itself as this delusion, or something to that effect, he hadn't really understood. It was artificial, and this was some kind of tactic to keep the Saiyan in a weak state, until the virus had grown strong enough to move on. The chair he was sitting on, even, was just an extension of those cells nestled deep in Goku's heart, that had spread to his brain. If the virus, or whatever it was, realised that he and Chi-chi were interlopers in this nightmarish play, it would consume anything left quickly, and move on. Probably to the nearest next host powerful enough to tempt it. Probably Gohan.

Maybe even it would infect himself. God knew he had enough misery for it to live on. He laughed internally. Maybe that had already happened, and this was actually his own hellish delusion. Piccolo's last attempt to leave had been unsuccessful and he was well aware that Chi-chi wouldn't be returning on her own psychic ability. It was just him and Goku now. The virus had started its shut down phase when they tried to tell Goku the truth, and slowly the walls and floor had started to dissipate. Goku blacked out and luckily missed Chi-chi's imminent collapse, when he woke, of course it was back to square one. Is this real, isn't it, what is? Piccolo had been through this particular phase so often now that he actually felt like a real psychiatrist.

Bulma had said that if the subtle tactics don't work, then ripping his sense of reality from under his feet might just do the trick. Or it might kill him. He was all for the sharp shock treatment but for some reason, the thought bothered him. These past months he had spent more time talking to the dim witted Saiyan than he had ever dared dread. He had heard stories of Gohan as a troublesome two year old, of how beautiful Chi-chi was on her wedding day, of the one time he tried to fix the plumbing by himself. He had felt the Saiyan's hands on his arms, wrist, shoulder and back. Light taps and gentle nudges, teasing remarks and boyish laughter. He had found it irritating and a hindrance at first, but as time passed, he found himself returning the conversation. After all, Goku would just continue anyway. Now he was looking at the haunted man as he sat there, unused muscles looking slim and wiry. Of course he knew that Goku would by lying in bed in the real world, built like a pure Saiyan, but here in his imagination, he was weak. Almost human.

It didn't take a trained professional to tell him that this was Goku's greatest fear. Being weak; not being the hero. Not being able to save the ones he loved. Hell, here he didn't even have the ones he so treasured. The delusion would be the manifestation of your fears, the ones that are so strong that they consume you. Piccolo had to admit, the creator of this virus was one intelligent fuck.

After a few more slow, unbearable seconds, Piccolo made a decision. He stood and walked over to where Goku was still sitting, defeated. It's now or never, at least you won't die alone.

He sat down next to Goku, not really fitting and feeling awkward as he perched on the single mattress. He turned towards the other man, looking into ebony eyes straight.

"You're right. This isn't real, and the moment you realise that again, this illusion will start to crumble. We won't have long to get out, if we even can"

Goku looked incredulous and from this too close distance, he could see the small marks in Piccolo's skin from his short lifespan of fighting. Not scars as such, just evidence. Was that a trick too?

"What is this now? Roleplay?"

Piccolo lifted his hand and in it, he held a photo. In the low light Goku's eyes went wide and he grabbed it from the Namek. In it, his little son stood staring up at a purple gi clad Namek. And like that, the memory split his head in two. One hand on Chi-chi's as she quickly took the photo, the both of them laughing when Piccolo noticed and started shouting. He looked up from the photo and again, in those ruby depths, he saw his own reflection. He didn't have a word for what he saw, but he believed it. And Piccolo saw it too.

The Namek wasted no time, he grabbed Goku's wrist and dragged him ungracefully across the room and through the door. The corridor went in both directions and there was a security door at the end of either one. Piccolo's ears flickered as the buzz of the overhead light fizzled out, and smashed. Orderlies lined up at both security doors and Piccolo considered fighting them, but something told him that he didn't have the power here. He looked around, at anything that might help. The outside window in the corridor showed nothing but a blackness and he dismissed it. It felt empty. No, there is a way out here.

The floor began to feel unsteady as it wavered and Goku trembled with it. Emerald hands went to either side of the Saiyan's face and he leaned down to the other man's height.

"Goku, there must be a way out. Think."

The other man's dark hair was damp against his head where sweat was streaming and Piccolo realised, rather belatedly, that this must be what Goku actually looked like. Scared, sweating and in some unreachable pain.

"I don't know"

Piccolo swore under his breath and dragged Goku back into the room, closing the door behind him. It wouldn't help much, since he could see patches of the wall were already just empty and black. His own breath was now sounding short and his throat scratched. He sneered, the feeling of fear was not welcome or helpful. He looked around, the bed sheets were dishevelled. A chest of drawers stood sparsely, and inside he knew there were just countless more orange drawstring pants and long sleeved shirts.

"There"

Goku's voice almost startled him. He hadn't really thought the Saiyan would be of much use, but he could have hugged him when he raised a hand to the small window near the ceiling. Piccolo looked at it with a raised brow. It made sense, Goku had been obsessed with it, but there was no way his larger Namekian frame would get through that pinhead hole in the wall. Goku grabbed him this time and he felt the clammy, cold hands dig in with a Saiyan strength he had forgotten the man possessed. Onyx eyes met his own and that famous smile returned.

"You'll fit"

Piccolo didn't believe him, but with little else to do other than wait for the encroaching blackness to take him as Goku's delusion cracked, he followed. He laced his hands together to give Goku a step up, and the Saiyan ripped the metal bars from the wall, taking brick with it. His strength was building and he was laughing. The tan of his hands now looked real again as he stood against the grey walls. One by one he ripped them off and behind them, that endless black had now reached under the door and into the room and was spreading. Piccolo looked back at it and immediately regretted it.

"Come on Goku!"

He might not make it, but he'd be damned if he went through all this unthinkable bullshit just for them both to die anyway. The final bar was pulled loose and the Saiyan punched a strong first through the glass. It shattered easily but behind the glass was not the far reaching darkness that this world seemed to be made of, but the bright lights of capsule corp. There, ahead of him, he could see himself and Piccolo lying on the bed. They were both hooked up to machinery and even the steady sound of two heartbeats reached his ears. It was so real. He reached through the hole and pulled himself through. He turned back and reached down to grab Piccolo's hand. Forest green fingers wrapped around his own.

Then he woke up. Heart rate monitors went wild and he ripped the oxygen mask from his face with a welcome strength. His right hand immediately went to Piccolo's chest to shake him awake.

"Piccolo"

The namek lay there, stock still with the oxygen mask on. Goku shook him again but didn't get a response. His onyx eyes looked up at the monitor when he realised that he could only hear one steady heartbeat. The other one was silence for a while and then a beep, and then nothing. An alarm started to ring and Bulma came flying into the room followed by a frantic Chi-chi. Gohan and Krillin. Gohan looked on in uncontained horror as his father shook Piccolo vigorously. Goku's eyes were welling in frustration and fear as he realised what was happening.

"Piccolo!"

Piccolo was still there. The darkness was now creeping at his toes and he looked back up at the window again, it felt like he had jumped a thousand times but without his Chi he couldn't reach. Climbing the wall with his talons had proved fruitless and the bed had already fallen into the black. Through the window, he could hear Goku shouting his name. As much as a few minutes ago he had been happy to die to save the other man, but now...he wasn't sure he would die. Maybe he would be trapped in this nightmarish ether, a place that Goku had created, but had now escaped. Or perhaps it was in his mind now. He couldn't let it. Not yet, not before he could save Gohan from the Androids. Not before he could see Gohan grow up. He looked down and still, he could hear the frantic calls of the Saiyan. His hands were growing purple, it was getting very cold here.

Chi-chi tried to calm her husband down but he continued, even in his weak state he felt strong enough to move the earth itself. He wasn't about to let Piccolo die. No, there must be something. If he was still trapped there, maybe he could beat the virus, maybe it didn't have a hold yet.

"Piccolo, listen to me. I don't know if you can hear me but...there must be a way out. Think"

Those same words Piccolo had spoken came floating back through the window and the Namek looked up. He smiled. The Saiyan might have been gullible enough to believe that but was he? Hardly.

It had worked though.

That voice was not his own, neither did he recognise it, but he didn't have time to care because out of his periphery he could see a chair leg poking out from the darkness. He grabbed it, quickly, and pulled the piece of furniture from its place in the black. He shoved the chair against the wall. The pink plastic felt like hell beneath his foot but he pushed on, the window was ridiculously small but he knew, he could make himself fit. He grabbed both his shoulders and pulled them both in towards himself, dislocating them. The pain was blinding for a moment and he felt the chair move beneath him. His arms weren't particularly helpful now but if there was ever a reason he had long legs, he thought it might be for this. He stepped up onto the top of the chair's backrest and with a push, he fell through.

Goku shook Piccolo so hard that he had left bruises on the Namek's arms and shoulders. Gohan was crying and even Chi-chi was now biting back tears. She and Piccolo might not be friends forever, but she had seen a side of him that had been a surprise. She had a friend in him, somewhere deep down, when the need called for it, and she'd remember that. The Saiyan slowly stilled, realising now that Bulma had turned the heart rate monitor off. Krillin's hand landed on his bicep, his kind features pulled into sadness.

"I'm sorry Goku"

His eyes were stinging but he just let the sweat continue to drip. He wondered now which one had really been the nightmare. Was it worth it? He looked over at the still Namek, whose lips were now a faint lilac. But stopped short as he looked straight into open, alive dark red orbs. With a faint grumble, Piccolo coughed and breathed in. It felt like he had been strangled and left for dead deep in the snow to die. The look on the Saiyan's face was disbelief as he watched Bulma place the oxygen mask back over Piccolo's mouth in shock.

"You're alive"

Piccolo's response was weak and faint through the mask but it bit hard enough.

"No shit"

Things had calmed down later that day, Piccolo had left the comfort of the bed at the first successful attempt at standing. Chi-chi was sat at Goku's bedside, his hand in her own, and Piccolo had given her a barely perceptible nod on his departure. The Saiyan smiled at his friend's back, knowing full well that the word friend would be best not said out loud. He leaned back and drifted to sleep whilst Chi-chi read from his favourite book. Gohan was already asleep next to him on the bed underneath his heavy arm.

The room was dark when he awoke, but he could hear voices as he came into consciousness.

"He's gone Chi-chi. That's it"

Her voice was a higher pitch than normal but low in volume.

"Don't say that, this wasn't like last time"

Piccolo's tones were as quiet, but rumbled through him.

"It's exactly like last time, just like every time"

She seemed to hesitate, he wanted to look but he didn't dare open his eyes.

"When do you think he'll wake up"

The Namek sighed.

"He might not"

Goku's eyes opened wide at that and he wondered if they thought he had slept so long he might be sick again.

"Guys! Stop it! I'm fine"

His own words echoed around him in the empty room.

Finish.