The next day didn't get better. Eris wasn't used to sleeping on anything but a bed, a luxury Rey quickly informed her she was fortunate to have. But Eris rather rudely reminded Rey that she was laying on a hammock rather than chained on the cold metal floor. The pair had gone to bed cross with each other, so much so Rey didn't even offer her a blanket.
Needless to say Eris was sore both physically and in spirit when the sun rose having gotten very little sleep. Rey found her sitting with her back to the wall, hands in her lap, legs stretched out, and her eyes to the ceiling. "What's for breakfast?" she asked startling Rey with her knowing she was awake.
"Depends on what I find," she answered climbing out of her bed and stretching. "Have you decided it can't get worse?"
Even though her eyes were already raised, Rey knew she'd rolled them. "I've decided I'm hungry," she responded tonelessly. "What happens if you don't find anything?"
"Then we don't eat," was Rey's straightforward answer.
Eris turned to the girl then wondering if she really hadn't figured it out yet. "I could buy everything on the whole damn planet and still have credits to spend."
"I don't want your money," Rey told her.
Her interest peaked at Rey's sudden defiance, at her reluctance to have anything to do with the woman she now housed. "It finally hit you I kill people?" she asked teasing, though not out of fondness, there was a cruelty to it "Way things are now it's a kill or be killed kind of life. Caring's a waste of time. You wanna survive, kid, I suggest you suck it up." She sat back proud and arrogant as Rey quickly collected her things and left, thinking the sooner Rey realized that difficult truth the better her chances would be.
And now she was alone. Normally Eris didn't mind, she was a solitary creature who preferred her own company. Normally Eris was free to go as she pleased never needing to remain in one place longer than she wanted. But she was bound on a short leash, unable to leave.
She spent a good part of the morning aimlessly throwing herself against her restraints, or planting her feet firmly against the wall and pulling at the chain still hoping a link would come loose. They were useless efforts that left her out of breath and hunched over in pain with only bruised wrists to show for.
There wasn't much to look at, not like she could reach it anyway. Her chain had enough length that she could stand only a few feet from the far wall where Rey had slept, and she could just barely get around to the other side of the wall she was tied too before the links locked and her arms were pulled. Rey had little knickknacks, a handmade doll that looked an awful lot like an X-wing pilot in its orange jumpsuit, an old beat up helmet, small things Rey must have been tinkering with, and thousands of carved tallies. But there was nothing in reach she could use to get free. Not even holding tight to the chain as it wrapped around the corner of the ship's wall would it come loose. Whether or not it pained her to admit, and it did pain her so very greatly to her core to admit it, the kid was good. She wasn't going anywhere.
And so hours later when Rey returned she found Eris lying on the floor with her feet propped up on the wall, her ankles crossed, eyes closed. She almost looked peaceful, she almost looked innocent. "Took you long enough. Did you get any food?"
Rey found herself rolling her own eyes. "Only enough for one portion. I suppose you won't thank me for sharing it with you," she said having strongly considered not giving her anything out of spite.
With a drawn out sigh Eris forced her battered body into a sitting position. "About as likely as you letting me go."
"I don't trust you," Rey was quick to say.
Eris smiled then, a slight frail thing – the most honest expression she'd worn. "Least you've got some sense then," she said taking the half Rey offered her, feeling how tense she was as if she thought Eris would try to attack her again.
Rey knew what she hadn't said, that she didn't think there was anyone to trust. She didn't know if she believed that, she didn't even know if she was afraid of Eris or ashamed by her curiosity of all the other woman had seen and done. She sat quietly eating her half of the portion, now melted back into a gelatinous goo she could see Eris didn't enjoy. Each bite was forced, she chewed only as long as it took to be able to swallow it. Rey herself shoveled every last piece into her mouth and wouldn't have minded taking the sticky crumbs Eris had flicked away from her.
A thought came to her as she watched Eris, as she studied her pretty-colored face. Caring's a waste of time, that's what Eris told her earlier giving away more than she realized. "Is there no one you care for?" she asked watching Eris still without turning. "Is there no one to care for you?" Rey still wasn't given an answer, Eris only continued eating but her lack of disgust at what she put in her mouth gave her away – she was distracted, thinking, regretting her answer. "It sounds lonely," she said softly as she turned back to her empty plate having just about licked it clean. She didn't expect a response, she was gathering that Eris wasn't a woman who spent much time contemplating emotion. So the sound of her voice had Rey turning to her surprised.
"It's a good way to survive," she said by way of answer, not wanting the pity. "No one to be used against you, no one to hold you back. You can be whoever you want to be."
"Who are you then?" Rey asked honestly not knowing.
Eris turned to her, saw at some point she'd moved just the slightest bit closer; she looked so young so open and vulnerable. Before she could recognize herself in Rey's face she turned away, pushing memories of a better time far back in her mind so they could wilt. "I won't hurt you, how about that," she said without really answering. She'd worn so many faces she hardly recognized herself anymore, she thought perhaps maybe there was no answer. But she didn't think she'd hurt Rey in the end, not when the kid was doing what she herself would've done.
It made Rey smile, that she'd gotten this immovable stone of a woman to bend just slightly. Maybe then she wasn't so bad. "I still don't trust you."
With a laugh Eris replied; "then you might have a chance."
They didn't speak much after that. Rey could feel that Eris didn't want to talk anymore, and what Rey wanted to ask most was why she'd been shot down. They'd gone on quietly the rest of the evening, Rey had pulled back the tarps so Eris could see the night sky and then she'd sat outside in the sand alone, wishing Eris was better company so she could sit with her.
A few hours later both girls lay quietly in the dark, Eris lying on the cold floor now with a blanket to cover herself, and Rey laid in her hammock with an arm behind her head staring blankly at the darkness above her. "You said you're not with The Order," she said breaking the peace.
"Yeah," Eris said slowly, unsure what she was getting at.
Rey was quiet as she thought of how to best phrase her question, aiming for the least offense because maybe it'd get her an answer. Finally she decided on, "why would the Resistance want you captured?"
Eris shook her head realizing Rey was trying to figure out whether or not she could be trusted. "I follow the money. It just so happens The Order places most of the bounties on rebels."
"So you kill for The Order but you're not with them?" Rey asked not understanding, and not entirely knowing if she wanted to.
"No," Eris answered with an aggrieved sigh. "I find the target, give their location, and get paid."
Rey sat up and looked to where Eris lay illuminated in the moonlight. "How is that different than you killing them?"
Losing her patience, because this was the second time in the past two days she'd had to answer this particular question – and since the first person she'd explained it to didn't understand she sat up and spun around to face Rey. "You wanna know what you and every rebel fighter's problem is: your need to fit everything into neat little categories of right and wrong. What's 'right,'" she raised her hands and motioned mock quotations, "and 'wrong' are concepts, ideas. So's truth and honor and 'fair.' Ideas," she enunciated the word in the hopes it'd signify its importance, "can be bought, they can be changed, and they can be proven wrong. So can every sentient being in existence. And guess who's run every governing system that's failed before?" she asked rhetorically, hoping Rey was getting it because the person before hadn't – then again, he'd been a rebel fighter. "There will never be a government that encompasses all. The Resistance wants to rule their way and they'll kill anyone who opposes them. The First Order wants to rule their way so they'll kill anyone who opposes them. Those are your options, kid, choose one. Or choose yourself."
"Like you?" Rey asked staring wide eyed at her. "What about the innocent caught in the middle, the ones The Order kills? The Resistance at least protects the innocent, and you're helping to kill them." She watched as Eris laid back down on her side turned away from her, heard her groan of indignation. "I was right about you," she said thinking she was finally seeing Eris' true face. "I should've let him take you, let him lock you away." She waited for Eris to defend herself, to prove otherwise and that somewhere inside her was a good person. Rey didn't know why she was so disappointed at her silence. She fell on her back already planning to take her to the Outpost, see if someone there knew Eris and would know what to do with her because Rey honestly didn't. And she didn't know even more when Eris did speak, her voice quiet, reluctant, and perhaps a little sad.
"It's been a while since I thought of anyone but myself," she said still lying on her side facing the wall. "Forgive me for not remembering what compassion feels like." She let it hang there knowing there was nothing else to say, she'd already given this girl more of herself than she had anyone else and for no real reason other than because Rey had asked. She left Rey with too much to contemplate, too many questions. Neither girl slept that night.