all of me loves all your leaves
a/n: written for morsmordre's shipping week. prompt: foliage
It was Valentine's Day once more. This was a time when many couples would give gifts and go out on dates to celebrate their love. But Mary Lou had no interest in such things, possibly because the previous Valentine's Day had seen her arrested and permanently banned from Central Park.
In lieu of taking her drunken pretzeling somewhere else, she decided it might be preferable to simply have a night in with her leaf machine and a decent quantity of moonshine.
After a dinner of pea soup with bread a little less dampish than usual, Mary Lou quickly found her children something else to do so that they wouldn't disturb her. She gathered some leaflets and sent Credence to hand them out, even though he'd just come back from leaflet distribution. Modesty was forced to babysit the baby peas for the evening. And Chastity was assigned pretty much every other chore her mother could think of.
Once the sound of Modesty singing to the baby peas was audible, Mary Lou picked up her leaf machine, carrying him into the bedroom as tenderly as one might cradle an infant. With Ivan softly clicking away on a pillow, she produced some pea moonshine, which she kept stashed away for occasions such as this.
She'd had about half the bottle before she realized that it was a bit selfish to keep it all for herself. What if Ivan wanted some? She offered him the bottle and he excitedly shot a leaf at her.
Together they polished off the remainder of the bottle, then another one, and when that ran out Mary Lou retrieved some more from the bathtub. By now, the effects of the drink had begun to catch up to her, and she almost fell into a pile of leaves.
Ivan ejected a leaf of disapproval. Sometimes, when she was drunk, his wife would become particularly interested in him, often taking advantage of his less innocent capabilities. But other times she would choose pretzeling over him, shedding clothing all over the house because apparently Finnish pretzels didn't wear any.
And if Ivan really thought about it, Mary Lou did seem a little too interested in the hem of her dress, as if she was considering its removal. No, this wouldn't do. It was Valentine's Day, and they were going to spend it together.
It wouldn't be that hard to get her attention if he was quick about it. All Ivan had to do was exactly what he was made for. And after his first taste of moonshine, Ivan was feeling quite leafy this evening.
He printed out a leaf, eventually rising to a steady stream as the leaves came to rest on the bed and settled on the floor. They shot into the air, raining down from the ceiling and scattering around the room.
This caught Mary Lou's attention, brushing a leaf from her hair while she watched the goings-on. In her intoxicated state, all she saw was piles of leaves as far as the eye could see, and Ivan had made every last one, this offering a Valentine's Day present for his beloved.
The leaf machine watched as Mary Lou threw herself across the bed and made leaf angels, still making more leaves. Content at last to know his wife appreciated his gift, he slowed and fell silent, his mechanism slowing to a stop.
And when she eventually tired herself out, tossing her clothing into a corner and using Ivan as a pillow, he was prepared, gently enveloping his wife in a cocoon of leaves as he nibbled her hair just the way she liked.
All was well in the world of Mary Lou and Ivan. They didn't need anything fancy to prove their love. Just a giant pile of leaves.
-end-