RWBY: Book of Thieves

The Rose Gang was driving along the dark streets of downtown Vale City, California, excited and relived to be back in the states after their two-week stress-filled trip in England. Yang was driving one-handed through the alleyways they knew were not on the police's patrol routes, sloppily eating a triple cheeseburger from Port Patties. Blake was trying to read the latest novel she picked up at Tukson's, though was spending more time dodging the flying food particles from her girlfriend than actual reading. Weiss was, predictably, on her laptop watching the new report of Dr. Watts's arrest on repeat with vindictive glee. And Ruby was practically dead to the world, her body limp on the pile of money and jewels in the back of the van they had stolen from Watts's island.

Hey, they're thieves, of course they were gonna rob the jerk for everything he's worth.

"It was good to be back home after being away for so long," Ruby narrated. "We had taken out Dr. Watts and dismantled one-fifth of the Grimm's organization. We even got our first clue on the next member: a man named Tyrian. It's not a common name and I'm sure if he's as much of a criminal as Watts was, Weiss'll track him down in no time."

Yang suddenly turned the wheel and drove the van off the streets through a broken section of the guardrails and rolled down to a set of train tracks. The van followed the track until they reached the entrance to an old subway tunnel, which had been completely boarded up with wooden planks, police tape, and a little sign that said: "Condemned: Do Not Enter". Of course, things were not as they appeared.

As they were getting closer to the closed off tunnel, Weiss pecked up from her laptop briefly before tapping a few keys from muscle memory, earning a sharp chime from the computer. The boarded wall and sign fell forward like something out of an old superhero comic, opening the tunnel for the Rose Gang to drive through, then raised itself back into place as if nothing happened. Yang drove another mile deeper into the abandoned subway tunnel before bringing the van to an easy stop and shutting off the engine. They Rose Gang had parked in front of a solitary metal door in an otherwise empty passageway. The walls around the door had been graffitied with four emblems: a flaming golden heart, a black flower, a white snowflake, and, of course, a red rose.

They were home at last.

The Rose Gang exited the van, though Weiss mostly had to drag Ruby out of the back by her cape, unceremoniously dropping her on the track. Ruby, grumbling and rubbing the sore spot on her head, fumbled around her pockets searching for the key to the padlock they used to close the metal door. But when the redhead approached the door with key in hand, she noticed right away that the padlock was undone, dangling off the door. Ruby put a finger to her lips, telling the others to be silent, and pointed out the lock. Everyone's expressions shifted into serious mode as they pulled out their respective weapons and waited for their leader's command.

"We were looking forward to a little R&R before our next heist when we noticed something was wrong at home. Though Weiss said she had covered our tracks, there was an ever-present fear that the Grimm might retaliate for arresting Watts. We went in expecting the worst…."

With Crescent Rose unfolded, Ruby kicked the door open and charged inside, followed closely behind by the others. But as they entered the living room of their secret base, the girls stopped in their tracks, gasping in shock at what they were seeing.

"But nothing…could have prepared us for what came next…."

Ruby Rose and the Gang

In

Day of the Dad

The Rose Gang's home was just what you would expect from a hideout in an abandoned subway tunnel: concrete walls marked with a graffiti (most of it Yang's doing), mismatched furniture on a bear skin rug (a housewarming gift from Raven), a slightly cracked television (which had ALL the channels once Weiss hacked into a neighbor's satellite dish), and several video game consoles stacked on top of each other (to keep Ruby occupied and stop annoying the rest). But the thing that made the Rose Gang pause was standing in the middle of their living room, eating Ruby's secret stash of cookies. The very sight of this thing made Yang tremble with anxiety and Ruby mentally scream; Blake's ears were folded against her head and Weiss's eye twitch was making a reappearance.

This…this was far worse than the Grimm and Winter Schnee combined. It was….

"Hey, girl!" Taiyang waved cheerfully when he noticed them walk in. "Welcome home!"

Yang's father.

"Dad…," Yang said slowly. "How uh…how did you get here?"

"How else?" said Taiyang, grinning. "I used my legs!"

"I'm too tired for this crap," Weiss grumbled, rubbing the bridge of her nose.

"No, I mean, how did you get in here?" Yang clarified, looking around. "Where's Jaune?"

Almost like he had been summoned, Mr. Tall, Blonde, and Scraggy, otherwise known as Jaune Arc, walked out of the bathroom, toweling off the cutest, most adorable corgi in the world: Zwei the Rose Dog; he must have just given Zwei a bath. Jaune looked up at the gang when he realized they were all crowded in the living room and said excitedly, "Hey, guys, welcome back! Did everything go okay with that Watt's guy?"

"Well, we're alive, so that counts for something," said Blake, shrugging.

"Jaune, please tell us why there is someone inside our secret underground headquarters!" Weiss hissed, making Jaune flinched.

"Well, he said he was Yang's dad, so I let him in," Jaune answered, looking apprehensive. "Uh…was I not supposed to do that?"

Weiss slapped herself in the face and groaned. Jaune was a good-intentioned boy, but he was a bit scatterbrained at times.

The Rose Gang had come across Jaune Arc little under seven months ago when they accidentally kidnapped him during a heist to steal the Sword of Joan of Arc from an illegal arms dealer in Paris. As it turned out, the sword had actually belonged to Jaune's family when it was "requisitioned" by corrupt military officers during World War II and was bounced around the black market for decades. After witnessing Ruby seamlessly swipe the sword and get the arms dealer arrested, Jaune declared he wanted to be a "Heroic Thief" just like Ruby, and Ruby was all for it…. Until she realized that Jaune had two left feet and was too jittery to get the job done.

The Gang had voted to let him go until they found out he was an amazing housemaker. His cooking was better than anything they had ever had (even the Schnee's personal chef could not compare), he did their laundry and got out the most stubborn stains, he could do their shopping with being caught by police, he organized all of Weiss's paperwork in minutes, and he could dog sit Zwei while they were away on heists. After that, the gang unanimously decided to keep Jaune around full time with the promise of "training him", which essentially meant making him to all the chores they were too lazy to do themselves.

"No, no, it's fine, it's just…" said Blake reassuringly. "We weren't expecting Yang's dad to be here."

"Speaking of which, why are you here, Mr. Xiao Long?" Ruby asked Taiyang.

"Aw, Ruby, you don't need to be so formal," Taiyang said brightly, strutting up to her and pulling the redhead in a one-armed hug. "We're practically family. Call me Dad." But the Rose Thief gave the older man an unimpressive stare, at which he chuckled uncertainly and removed his arm. "Oooor Tai. You can call me Tai."

"Okay…Tai," said Ruby slowly. "You still haven't answered the question."

"Ugh, Raven kicked me out of the village," Taiyang answered with a grimace.

"Again?" Blake said dryly.

"What'd you do this time?" Yang asked exasperatedly with a hand to her head.

"Nothing – she blew it way out of proportion," said Taiyang defensively. "I was just being a good husband and I thought I'd changed the lightbulb on her reading lamp."

"And how did that work out?" said Weiss, crossing her arms.

Raven, Taiyang, and the villagers of the Branwen Tribe were standing outside the gates out their hidden community, most of them staring blankly at the roaring fire that had consumed the entire village. Everything from the tents, to the food supply, to the treasure storehouse had been set ablaze; thick plumes of black smoke puffed into the cloudless sky. Somewhere beyond the bamboo that concealed their home, Raven could hear the roars of police sirens and firetrucks heading their way.

Raven's right eye twitched ceaselessly as she stared ahead at the burning village, not even flinching as one of the blazing logs from their defensive wall crashed beside her. Taiyang looked appropriately uncomfortable, fully aware that the villagers were all glaring at him. The blonde man took a tentative step away from his wife, whose hand was gripping the handle of her sword as if she was trying to choke the life out of it.

Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang, Jaune, and Zwei stared dumbfoundedly at Taiyang, who scratched his chin sheepishly like he was the one supposed to be embarrassed. Weiss slapped herself in the face again.

"So…I kinda need a place to stay," Taiyang finished with a weak smile. "Just for a little while. Raven and the other Tribesmen have a backup camp somewhere on the other side of China and they need time getting it set up. Shouldn't take more than a few days. And plus," he added chipperly, "I get to spend time with my special girls! Whaddya say?"

"You really want an answer to that?" Weiss grumbled.

"It's fine, it's fine," Ruby intervened quickly, rubbing Weiss's arm soothingly to calm her down. "We're all just a little jet lagged right now and could use a good night's sleep. We'll take more about this in the morning."

"Good idea," Yang agreed, concealing a loud yawn behind her hand, then threw her arm around Blake's shoulder and pulled her close. "C'mon, Blake, let's hit the sack."

"Oh no, you don't," Taiyang suddenly appeared between them, pushing Yang and Blake away before turning to his daughter. "You can't go sleeping in bed with other people before marriage."

"Daaad!" Yang whined childishly. "You can't tell us what to do in our own house. We're both consenting adults and we've been together for over a year."

"And I'm your father and I'm telling you this is not a proper way for a young lady to act!" said Taiyang, doing that finger wagging thing scolding parents always do. "Think about the kind of example you're setting for Ruby."

"I like to think I'm a little more sensible," said Ruby, sweatdropping.

"You'll be sharing with me, Yang," said Taiyang with a tone of finality. "That way I can keep an eye on you."

"Ugh! You're the worst!" Yang wailed.

The blonde brawler stomped past her father like an upset child – pouting like one, too – and slammed the door to her room hard enough to knock the framed picture of herself off the wall. Blake hanged her head sadly, her ears flat, looking like kicked puppy as she dragged her feet to her own room and shut the door behind her quietly. And at the same time, Taiyang returned to the couch to continue whatever show he had been watching before the girls came in, still eating Ruby's private stash of cookies. That left Ruby, Weiss, and Jaune holding Zwei standing in the middle of he living room – the latter two turning to their leader with looks of contempt and uncertainty respectively.

"You know this is going to end poorly, right?" said Weiss.

Yes...yes, she did….

Ruby woke up the next morning, hair disheveled and in her Beowolf pajamas, fighting back a yawn as she trudged down the concrete hallway to the makeshift kitchen. She hummed delightfully when she caught a whiff of breakfast wafting through the entryway, though there was something…off about it. She walked in and found Yang, Weiss, and Blake sitting around the shabby square table, strangely anxious or unhappy, even though they all loved Jaune's cooking. But that's when she noticed that Jaune was also sitting at the table with Zwei trying to crawl on his lap.

"Uh…Jaune, why aren't you at the stove?" asked Ruby, now wide awake and staring at the blonde concerned.

"Yang's dad offered to do it this morning," said Jaune happily, gesturing to Taiyang, who was indeed standing at the stove wearing a pink "Kiss the Cook" apron that Weiss had told Jaune repeatedly to throw away. "And I thought it would be nice to change things up a bit."

"Right…," said Ruby, slowly taking her seat between Blake and Weiss.

"Morning, girls!" Taiyang said aloud, prompting a groan from the thieves; they still hadn't had their morning coffee. He was holding up two plates with an enormous stack of pancakes on each. "I just wanted to say thanks for letting me stay here, so I made a big batch for everyone! Eat up! Remember, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"

Taiyang skillfully distributed the pancakes for each of them, but none of the thieves at right away. Back in the Tribe, everyone had an assigned role in the community given to them by Raven based on their skills and talents, so the Tribe always had a designated cooking staff to make enough for everyone. But never once had Ruby ever seen Taiyang on the cooking team. And based on Yang's expression, neither had she.

Ruby prodded the pancake with her fork, like she was expecting it to bite her. It looked normal enough, and even though it had a slightly different smell to Jaune's pancakes, it didn't seem that bad. With all of Rose Gang watching her apprehensively, Ruby picked up her knife and cut a small piece off. She slowly brought the piece to her mouth, closing her eyes fearfully and, after several tense second, finally ate it –

"BLARGH!" Ruby heaved, immediately spitting the pancake piece out; the girls instantly shoved their plates away. "Oh my Brothers, that was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted! What did you make this out of?" she questioned Taiyang.

"It's made of 100% soybeans," Taiyang said proudly with his fists on his hips.

"Why would you create such an abomination?" said Weiss aghast.

"Jaune told me you haven't been eating proper meals while you're away on jobs," Taiyang said disapprovingly. The girls glared at Jaune, who meekly slid underneath the table with Zwei. "You're all growing girls who need proper nutrition, especially you, Ruby. Now, finish up your soycakes. When you're done with that, I made tofu eggs and bacon, a nice lettuce salad, and, as a special treat, a nice glass of warm tomato juice."

Weiss slapped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from gagging.

"Yeah, if it's all the same to you," said Yang defiantly, rising from her chair and walking over to the wooden cabinet, "I'm just going to have a bowl of cereal." But when she opened the cabinet, she gasped when she found the top shelves completely bare. "Hey, what happened to my Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes!"

"Oh, I threw them out," said Taiyang offhandedly.

"YOU WHAT?!" the girls and Jaune screamed horrifically.

"All that sugar is bad for you," said Taiyang, who was now carrying another batch of pancake. "Okay, who wants seconds?"

Ruby rolled her eyes back and slammed her face on the table, not even caring about the nasty bump that was likely to form. Weiss covered her face with both hands and was likely crying. Blake was rocking back and forth, knees against her chest, mutter "Go to your happy place, go to your happy place." Yang moaned tragically and slid down the side of the cabinet, choosing to lie dead on the floor. Jaune looked like he was regretting all of his life choices as Taiyang plopped another stack on his plate.

And when one of the soycakes flopped on the floor and Zwei sniffed it, the corgi ran out of the kitchen whimpering.

Yang was out on the tracks with her head under the hood of the team van, a battered toolbox with a "Bee's Knees" decal sitting precariously on the bumper. On their way back home last night, Yang had thought she heard something banging under the hood and thought it would be worth investigating. As she had thought, the radiator had come loose during the drive, possibly when she jumped off the main road, and had a sizable crack in the front. Reattaching the radiator was easy, but she didn't want to risk fixing the crack herself on the off chance it didn't work and ended up blowing the engine when they needed it most. Eventually, Yang pulled her head out with a defeated sigh, wiping her brow with a grease-stained rag.

"Well, that thing's shot to hell," Yang said aloud. "Look's like I'm gonna have to replace it."

"What's up, baby girl?" Taiyang said cheerfully, suddenly popping up at Yang's side.

"GAH!" Yang shrieked, holding a hand over her rapidly beating heart. "Don't sneak up on people like that!"

"What seems to be the problem?" asked Taiyang, ignoring his daughter and poking his head under the hood.

"The radiator's busted," said Yang exasperatedly. "We're gonna need a new one."

"Hey, don't worry do you worry about a thing," said Taiyang confidently. "Just let your dad take care of it and your van will be good as new."

"No, dad, it's fine!" Yang yelled sharply; the desk lamp fire still fresh in her mind. "I've got a guy downtown who can sell me a new radiator at a good price, and he's very discreet."

"Oh…okay, yeah, that's fine," said Taiyang with a stony expression. "At least let me start a bonfire for you – so you can throw all your money into it. Because that's what you're going to do when this "guy downtown" completely rips you off. Oh, and while you're at it, throw my corpse in the fire, too, because apparently I'm dead to you!"

"Okay, you are seriously overreacting," said Yang, shaking her head.

"Dead to you!" Taiyang repeated forcefully.

"Geez, okay, fine!" Yang shouted, throwing her hands in the air. "Do your fixer thing…."

Taiyang squealed like a gleeful schoolgirl as he picked up a wrench from the tool box and dived under the hood -

FIVE MINUTES LATER

Yang's right eye twitched in a manner reminiscent of Raven as she gazed at what remained of her precious team van. Not only had Taiyang completely shattered the radiator and set the engine on fire like she had feared, but the rugged adult somehow managed to tear all four wheels off their axis', blasted the back doors into the subway walls, made a new sunroof for the van, and somehow ejected the front seat through the windshield. At least – boom! – nope, there goes the muffler, too.

The man responsible for this terrible tragedy was standing beside Yang holding the two broken halves of what used to be her steering wheel like they were some kind of puzzle for him to solve.

"Don't worry, I can fix this," said Taiyang optimistically. "Where do you keep the duct tape?"

Somewhere in the deepest recesses of Yang's mind, you could hear her psyche slowly shatter like glass.

Blake heard about Yang's near mental breakdown from Ruby and was told that her girlfriend went to the gym downtown to relieve some stress in the boxing ring. She almost felt sorry for whoever got in the golden dragon's path, but better them than her, Blake figured. And without her girlfriend to keep her company, Blake retreated to her room, hoping to become acquainted with the latest Ninjas of Love novel that she had purchased before heading off to England and never got the chance to read.

"Finally, some peace and quiet for a change," Blake sighed contently, walking over to her floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, pulling out one of the books. "Now I can finally catch up on – Larry Bladder and the Sparkly Stones? What the?" She stammered when she saw the cover of a book she definitely knew wasn't hers. "How did this get here? Where is my book?"

Blake perused through the titles and came to a startling realization that none of her books were where they were supposed to be. Her entire collection of adult literature – including her painstakingly acquired forty-seven volumes of Ninjas of Love – were completely gone! And instead, they were all replaced by children's books: Larry Bladder, Perky Jason, Lieutenant Underwear, and other books that Blake would never even think about touching in a million years. The Cat Faunus started to hyperventilate, panic starting to set in, when her ears perked as she heard her bedroom door be thrown wide open.

"Hey, Blake, you hungry?" asked Taiyang cheerfully. "I just found this chocolate cake in the back of the fridge."

"Tai…do you know what happened to my books?" Blake asked, looking over her shoulder suspiciously.

"Oh, that," said Taiyang with a disapproving sniff. "I threw them in the furnace."

"WHAT?!" Blake screeched in a high-pitched voice; the mirror of the wall cracked like it had been hit with a hammer.

"You're too young to be reading that filth – "

"I'm twenty years old," Blake interjected.

"So I went out a replaced them with some wholesome family friend literature with good messages," said Taiyang, reaching over and pulling out a copy of "Your Tiny Horsy" like he was making a point. He handed the book to Blake, who stared at Taiyang with a muted expression; her left ear twitching slightly. "Trust me, you're gonna love these. I got these books for Yang, Ruby, and Emerald when they were kids."

"Did they ever read them?" Blake asked in a monotone.

"Sadly, no," said Taiyang mournfully. "Ruby and Emerald said they accidentally dropped them in the river and they were eaten by bears. Anyway, you enjoy yourself. I'm getting me a slice of that chocolate cake."

Taiyang left the room in a cheerful jaunt. Blake only stared at the doorway, her hands shaking violently, her nails digging into the thick hard cover of "Your Tiny Horsy" until she ripped the book in half with strength the likes she had never known.

As the team hacker, Weiss needed the best available equipment to perform at her best for the Rose Gang. And there was nothing better than having your own personal server room with eight server towers – four on each side of the room – that had been "generously donated" but the Schnee Company before it's…untimely closure. The esteemed Snowpea herself as tapping furiously away at the new laptop she had acquired on Gale Island, which she was delighted to learn was much more efficient than her last one. Her breath came out in white puffs since the temperature of the room being below freezing due to the server towers needing constant cooling to function properly.

But it was okay – the cold never bothered her anyway.

"Hmm…according the Watts's e-mail, Tyrian Callows lives in Arizona," Weiss hummed thoughtfully. "But that's a lot of ground to cover based on a name alone. And there's nothing in any of the local news or social media that indicates anyone by the name exists. Watts did a good job covering the Grimm's tracks, but with him in jail, it's only a matter of time before someone spots them. Watts's message also said something about needing his tail repaired. A stinger, to be more accurate. That implies that he's a Faunus – desert-based most likely. A scorpion, maybe? Maybe I can narrow the search by searching any reference on scorpion Faunus in Arizona."

By while the Snowpea was hard at work looking for the Gang's next target, Taiyang happened to be walking by the room when he felt a sudden chill run up his spine.

"Brr, why is it so cold in here." He said shivering. He turned around to the thermostat, which was conveniently attached the to wall next to the server room door, and turned it on high. "There, that oughta do it."

Back inside the server room, Weiss stared at her laptop screen with great intensity as her digital profiling program went to work. She felt something wet dripping down her brow, but was too enamored with her program to give it consideration and just wiped it with the back of her hand. Three more droplets crawled down her forehead and Weiss irritably wiped them away too. But the droplets wouldn't leave her alone and were now starting to get into her eyes, stinging her with salty wetness. Weiss jumped out of her seat with a frustrated groan.

"What the hell is going on around here!?" Weiss growled, wiping her hand on her forehead and inspecting her palm strangely. "Am I…sweating? Why would – wait…why is it so warm in here?"

She was only now realizing that the freezing cold she was accustomed to had been unexpectedly replaced by a sweltering heat; it felt like she had jumped straight from a freezer to a sauna. But her confusion quickly shifted to fear when the realization struck. If the room wasn't cold, then that mean –

FWOOSH!

Weiss involuntarily let out a high-pitched shriek as one of the server towers suddenly caught fire. The hacker ducked down underneath the table to retrieve the fire extinguisher that she always kept in case of emergencies, but when she came back up, another server tower had spontaneously combusted. Weiss stumbled over to the nearest tower and sprayed the computers in a cocoon of white foam. She started to move for the next one when the server next to her burst into flames and the hacker blasted the fire extinguisher reflexively. And then another server caught on fire while the first one was still melting –

To make a long story short, by the time Weiss exited the room, the entire area had been completely soaked in white foam, herself included. She stomped out into the hall, furious, and spun around to the thermostat, which she now saw was set to ninety degrees.

"WHO – TOUCHED – MY – THERMOSTAT!" Weiss screamed shrilly.

"Hey, Weiss," said Taiyang in his usual happy-go-lucky tone, carrying two hot mugs. "I made us some hot chocolate."

He pushed the steaming cup into Weiss's hand, somehow not noticing the intense stare of pure hatred she shot him with, and walked away, whistling cheerfully. Weiss's hand shook into she unconsciously crushed the mug in her grip, not caring that scalding hot cocoa was burning her skin.

Ruby had to get out of the hideout while she could. After hearing about the repeated disasters from her team (which now included Taiyang doing everyone's laundry and somehow shrank Jaune's favorite Pumpkin Pete hoodie to fit a doll), Ruby knew she needed to escape before Taiyang got to her next. So, Ruby stealthily ditched the subway hideout and wandered into Vale City.

While Ruby had wanted to get away from Taiyang, she also wanted to take this opportunity to learn more from the pages of the Book of Thieves they had collected from Watts, particularly Rose Akane's section on the Shinobi Spire Jump. Ruby absorbed the knowledge like a sponge. By the time she finished reading, Ruby was able to stand on metal fence posts, streetlamps, umbrella tips, and many others with impossible levels of balance and precision. And the whole time, not a single person noticed a girl in a red hood flying over their heads (mostly because they were too busy looking down at their phones).

"This is awesome!" said Ruby is an excited whisper. "I wish I had this trick during the Atlas job. Akane really knew her stuff. Though I still don't get what she means by 'press the O button'. Guess there's always that one weirdo in the family…."

Ruby continued her way downtown jumping signs and lampposts until she spotted a pair of familiar faces outside of Shopkeep's Doughnuts ("That old man owns everything is this town" said Ruby.) Two officers she had seen routinely around the INTERPOL office and occasionally during one of their heists, but not as frequently as Winter. The quick-footed, but easily angered Inspector Bree and the loyal yet surprisingly nice Inspector Amin. As Ruby landed silently on the giant neon doughnut on the shop's sign, she looked down at Inspector Bree leaning her fancy car, tapping her foot impatiently, as Inspector Amin came out of the shop carrying a box of doughnuts.

"What took you so long?!" Inspector Bree snapped irritably. "You should have been in and out in five minutes!"

"I'm sorry, okay!" Inspector Amin grimaced, setting the box on top of Inspector Bree's car. "I couldn't decide what to get. I kept thinking maybe we could get the Boston cream or the jelly filled or maybe try the new cinnamon glaze – "

"Just get the glaze like we always do and stop wasting my time!" Inspector Bree chastised him.

"But we always get the glaze, and it's such a stereotype!" Inspector Amin complained.

"INTERPOL doesn't pay me enough to babysit you," Inspector Bree groaned, pushing off the car. "Just grab the damn doughnuts and – hey, where'd they go?"

Both inspectors looked around and could see their box of doughnuts was nowhere in sight; Inspector Amin wailed and started crawling on the ground frantically like he had dropped them. Unknown to them both, Ruby dangled the box on Crescent Rose's edge, snickering as she bit into one of the chocolate doughnuts.

"Heh, heh, exercise and free doughnuts," Ruby chuckled mischievously. "Not a bad night."

"All right, way to go, Ruby! Quick, smile for the camera!"

Ruby Rose went stiff, her eyes blown wide, unintentionally dropping the doughnuts on the ground. The redheaded thief craned her head slowly and, to her indescribable horror, spotted Taiyang on the opposite sidewalk filming her with a camcorder, like a father recording his daughter's first recital. Beyond the fact that he was basically screaming her name when there are two INTERPOL agents only feet away, it was thoroughly embarrassing that he thought of recording the whole thing in the first place.

"Tai, shut up, I'm trying to be sneaky!" Ruby hissed.

"You can do that and smile, sweetheart," said Taiyang chipperly. "Stand up straight – you're slouching."

"Tai, seriously, get out of here before – "

CLICK!

Ruby turned back to Inspector Bree and Inspector Amin, both of them instantly recognizing her and whipping out their shock pistols. Inspector Bree looked especially pissed – which was fair considering Ruby once shackled her to a lamppost with her own handcuffs.

"…Damn it," muttered Ruby.

Blake and Jaune were practically hovering over Weiss at the hideout living room; the infamous hacker was practically smashing her keyboard with a look of desperation in her eyes. Yang was pacing back and forth with her smartphone to her ear trying to make the damn thing connect. Everyone jumped when they hideout's front door slammed open and Ruby Rose stomped inside, covered in mud and soot while her cape was partially on fire. She did not look happy.

"Hey, Ruby – "Jaune started.

"Hold that thought," Ruby interrupted. She dropped on her back, rolling around until the flame was snuffed out. She leapt back up to her feet and took a deep, calming breath. "Okay…. WE NEED TO GET RID OF HIM! I love Tai, I really do, but he's a total nightmare!"

"You won't get any argument from us," said Blake.

"Any ideas on how we're gonna get him out of here?" Ruby asked desperately.

"Yang's been trying to call her mom for the last ten minutes," said Jaune, gesturing to the blonde brawler. "Maybe she can – "

"Ugh, finally!" Yang suddenly shouted. Everyone quickly narrowed their focus on Yang, who gestured for everyone to stay quiet. "Hey, mom, I've been trying to reach you for a while. Wherever you are much have terrible reception." She paused for a moment as Raven responded. "Oh, you saw the news about Watts? Yeah, we totally kicked his ass! And got back the pages of Ruby's book! I even started another bar fight!" Another pause. "Yeah, it was Junior again. It's like we're fated to be together forever."

And somewhere in the world, Junior felt an unpleasant chill running up his spine.

"Anyway, the reason why I'm calling is because dad showed up at the hideout and I was wonder…when are you gonna take him back? …Hello? Mom?"

"That's not a good sign," said Jaune as Yang ended the call.

"What're we gonna do?" shrieked Ruby as the beginnings of a panic attack started to set it. "I can't take another day with him!"

"I know a guy who can make him…disappear – no questions asked," said Blake darkly.

"BLAKE!" cried Yang shockingly.

"I'm kidding…mostly," Blake mumbled the last part.

"A-hem!" The group snapped their heads at attention to Weiss, who coughed into her fist importantly. "If you're all quite finished, I think I might have a way to keep our mutual nuisance busy."

She turned her laptop around with a proud smile and held it up on display. The quartet leaned in for a better look, and soon, everyone was grinning impishly.

Winter isn't even surprised to find the other INTERPOL agents in the lounge room instead of working like they're supposed to. She was especially disappointed to see Inspector Bree and Inspector Amin, getting mud and soot all over their nice clean furniture, Inspector Bree seemingly not caring that one of her pointed blonde locks was lit up like a birthday candle. Everyone had heard how Ruby Rose had evaded them once again, but more than that, more than half of INTERPOL was furious that they lost the doughnuts in the resulting struggle. So much for priorities, Winter thought exasperatedly.

Oscar, always the people pleaser, had went out and new doughnuts to quell the tension before the other agents rioted. Honestly, Winter thought, the standards for INTERPOL agents has been lowered to ridiculous levels.

"All right, everyone, listen up!" Winter shouted as she marched to the middle of the room, pausing briefly to snuff out Inspector's Bree's burning cowlick casually. "As you are well aware, Ruby Rose was spotted in the city this afternoon, meaning she's already returned to the States after prior reports said she was in London – "

Drip – Drip –

Winter paused, her left eye subtly twitching. She suddenly remembered that the leaky faucet from the sink that had been dripping for over a month now. At first, Winter had thought nothing of it, but try to imagine having to hear that noise every day during lunch nonstop for weeks. For someone as neat and orderly as Winter, each drop was like a pane of glass being smashed on the ground on repeat. It had gotten so bad that Winter had resorted to eating in her office, which was terrible for her desk when someone barged into the room and spilled barbeque chicken all over the monthly evaluations –

"Uh, Winter," Oscar's voice snapped the white-haired woman out of her head. "You okay? Were you going to say something or….?"

"No, it's fine, it's fine," Winter said firmly, straightening her stance. "As I was saying, Ruby Rose was spotted in the city, but it's unknown how long she will remain in the country – "

Drip – Drip –

"We know her targets are the members of the criminal organization known as the Grimm," Winter continued, folding her hands in a death grip behind her back. "Rose's mother was murdered by the Grimm, so we can assume that she's acting on revenge. Dr. Arthur Watts has been taken into custody and is being held in HM Prison Wakefield. So there are only four potential targets left – "

Drip – Drip –

"Inspector Bree, Inspector Amin, I want a list of everyone who came to and from London in the past weeks," Winter instructed, her eye twitch getting worse. "It's likely they traveled under assumed identities. I want you to verify every name and face. If Ruby Rose or her gang try to use those false names again, I want to be able to catch them at the pass – "

Drip – Drip –

"Inspector Ederne, Inspector Zeki, I want you leading the investigation into the other Grimm members," Winter's voice was starting to shake now; the other agents looked ready to duck out at any moment. "Arthur Watts's personal data was somehow broadcast all over the internet – undoubtedly done by the Snowpea – so there could be information pertaining to where the Grimm may be located – "

Drip – Drip –

"And Constable Pines, I – SWEAR TO THE EVERLOVING BROTHERS IF SOMEONE DOESN'T DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT GODDAMN FAUCET RIGHT NOW, I'M GOING TO LOSE MY SH – "

"Whoa, whoa, easy there, partner!" Oscar shouted, leaping from his seat with his hands. The other agents had run out of the room instantly – cowards. "Relax, everything's fine, there's nothing to get bent out of shape about."

"Do you have any how irritating that noise is!" Winter hissed, looking very close to ripping out her hair.

"Don't worry, I e-mailed a repairman this morning," said Oscar, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "He should be here any moment now." And just like clockwork, there was a knock on the lounge room door. "See, that's probably him right now."

Oscar opened the door and Taiyang stepped into the room, wearing a hat with crossed wrenches and a toolbox in hand.

"Hello," Taiyang greeted cheerfully. "I hear you could use a little help from…the Fixer."

"Thanks for coming," Oscar said gratefully. "That faucet has been leaking for a while now. Think you can fix it."

"Plumbing is my middle name," said Taiyang confidently. "Just leave it to me."

Winter let out a relieved sigh and plopped into the nearest chair as Taiyang jauntily made his way to the sink and poked his head underneath. She laned against the table with her hand cover her eyes, trying to block out the rest of the world. She could feel Oscar taking a seat next to her, but didn't say anything, just trying to be there for her. As much as Winter didn't like the idea of having a partner, she was glad that, if it had to work with anyone, it was Oscar.

Of course, this sentimental thought was blown from her mind when she heard a sharp Clang coming from the sink.

"Uh-oh," she heard Taiyang mutter.

And the next thing she knew, Winter was suddenly being washed away in a tsunami that suddenly surged through the lounge room like magic; Oscar clinging to her arm like a life preserver. The wave carried them through the hallways – screams of panic and fear rang out from the offices – and smashed through the fifth-floor window in the sudden waterfall. Somehow, Winter and Oscar survived the fall, finding themselves lying flat on their backs in the front lawn, spread eagle, staring unblinkingly up at the city skyline.

Winter didn't move for several minutes, still reeling from what just happened, but eventually pushed herself up into a sitting position and crane her head up at the INTERPOL headquarters. The entire building was effectively flooded; there were still waterfalls flowing out of several broken windows. Like herself and Oscar, many INTERPOL agents had either landed in the front lawn like Inspector Ederne, or were dangling from the windows like Inspector Amin. Winter's eye twitch returned with a vengeance, the pace of which then doubled when Taiyang, somehow dry as a bone, popped up beside them.

"Don't worry, I can fix this," said Taiyang positively. "Don't worry, I'm make sure everything is in tiptop shape. And I swear to you, I will never ever leave until everything if fixed."

Oscar let out a pathetic whimper like a puppy that had been scolded.

And if Winter didn't think things could get any worse, the INTERPOL agent heard a cacophony of laughter coming from the street and flipped around frantically. The white-haired officer stared dumbfoundedly at the grinning faces of Ruby Rose, Blake Belladonna, Yang Xiao Long, and her own sister cackling like madmen. Winter's mind worked double-time before she finally came to the realization that they were the reason the curse known as Taiyang had fallen upon them. Weiss must have intercepted Oscar's e-mail and sent him instead.

Winter growled furiously as she jumped to her feet, but Xiao Long had already floored the accelerator and the Rose Gang took off down the street, their wicked laughter echoing into the distance. Winter ran into the street, her teeth gnashed, shaking her fist into the air and shouting:

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, RUBY ROSE!"

(Later that evening, Winter and Oscar got a very nasty call from Goodwitch and a huge pay cut.)

Tai, we love you, but you are a hot mess.

I hoped you all enjoyed this little filler chapter and it gives you something to look forward to in the future between missions – wouldn't want this story to be serious all the time. I also hoped you were paying attention to specific points of the chapter because I sprinkled in several hints about future chapters and even the series itself. But in the next chapter, we get right back into the swing of things as the Rose Gang makes their way to Arizona to confront the deadliest and most insane member of the Grimm, Tyrian Callows.

Please, read and review.