A/N: Sorry for the delay. I was on vacation with the family, so I didn't have much writing time. With all of the updates from other fabulous stories being published, I found myself drawn into doing more reading and less writing on top of that. But, as promised, here is Chapter 11. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: Don't own Chuck
Chapter 11
"I wanna know what's going on with Chuck," Sarah demanded, her brow furrowed.
"Wh-what d'you mean?" Gerty asked in confusion.
"I know you two had an argument tonight and now he's on a flight to LA. What the hell is going on, Gerty?" Sarah growled through gritted teeth.
"Whoa. What? What d'you mean he's on a flight to LA? I just saw him a couple of hours ago! He didn't say anything to me about it. What the hell happened?" Gerty legitimately sounded as confused as Sarah.
"So if you don't know about the trip to LA, what exactly did you two fight about? Was it about Jill?" Gerty couldn't quite read the look on Sarah's face. It seemed like a mixture of anger, fear and confusion.
"First, we didn't really fight. We just had a talk l. Granted he did get a little… agitated. But he never mentioned any 'Jill'? Wait a minute. How did you know about our conversation?" Gerty's curious tone also sounded a little accusatory. She was clearly curious as to how Sarah knew about her conversation with Chuck. Sarah sighed and looked a little sheepish.
"Let's just say a little birdie told me," she replied gesturing with her head down the hallway. Gerty gave her a curious smile. "She said… " Sarah paused to blow out a breath. "She said that she heard you two arguing from the stairs. She thought she heard you two talking about Jill. Saying that 'Jill is this' and 'Jill is that'. Jill is Chuck's ex that I told you about. The one he caught… you know..." Sarah seemed a little reluctant to complete that thought so just let it be.
"Oh. Right. What a bitch. I...I don't know Sarah. He never mentioned Jill." Gerty kept saying the phrase over and over while looking toward the ceiling in thought. "Jill… Jill is… Jill is..."
"She also said that she heard him say that… that he loved that woman." Sarah swallowed thickly, looking at the floor, her heart in her throat. Suddenly, Gerty had a Eureka moment and started to laugh uncontrollably. Sarah immediately looked at her, surprise, frustration and a little embarrassment coloring her face. "What? What's so damn funny about him still being in love with her?"
Gerty was having a difficult time catching her breath, still laughing at the absurdity of it all. "No. No. You...you don't understand. Oooh, bless her heart. That's ...that's too funny. I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh. Sarah, we...we didn't say 'Jill is'. We said 'jealous'." Gerty let out a sigh as she hummed in amusement. She wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes and collected herself, getting her breathing under control.
"Wait. Jealous? Jealous of what?" Sarah inquired, still completely confused, trying to push her embarrassment aside. Gerty just gave her a flat look.
"Really? You didn't think that maybe, just maybe, a certain someone might be a little jealous to see you going off on a 'date' with a calendar model that you happen to have history with?" Gerty crossed her arms and gave Sarah a challenging glare.
"It… it wasn't a date. And Chuck practically pushed me out the door to go with Ian. Why would he be jealous?" Sarah asked defensively. Gerty just shook her head.
"OK. Let's put it a different way. Say some Victoria's Secret model came in the diner, huggin' and kissin' on Chuck. Talking about how long it's been since they last saw each other and how amazing they both look. Then she wants to take him out for drinks to 'catch up on old times'..."
"Alright. Alright. I get your point. But he really has nothing to be jealous of, especially from Ian." Sarah interjected.
"Does Chuck know that? All he sees is this Adonis that he believes he has no chance of competing with. Is he wrong?" Gerty inquired, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, he's wrong! Ian's a friend and that's all. Yes we have … history, but it's just that. History," she retorted.
"Be that as it may, he's seen the type of guys you've dated. That Bryce guy you talked about and now Ian. Chuck's a very smart man, but he's still a man. A man who … You know what? I shouldn't say anymore. I've probably already said too much. I promised Chuck..." Gerty put up her hands in surrender and turned to walk towards her bed.
"Promised Chuck? Promised him what? Geeeertyyyy…." Sarah followed her into her room, her tone was a warning that she was not to be trifled with.
"Sarah, a friend confessed some things to me in confidence. Some things he specifically pleaded with me not to tell you. I can't go back on that promise. You'd expect the same from me if you told me things in confidence. Right?" Gerty gave her a pointed look, begging her to argue with her on that point. Sarah slumped a little in resignation and dejection.
"I… I really need to talk to him. I need to fix things. The not knowing what is going on worries me," she confessed as he started pacing the room.
"Fix things? Are there ...'things' that need fixing?" Gerty gave her a wry smile. Sarah let out a long sigh and plopped down on Gerty's bed.
"I really suck at talking about personal things, at letting people in. It's just...it's always been safer that way. People can't use them to manipulate you. I know...I know in my heart that Chuck would never do anything like that, but it's so hard to break that habit, to fight against my instincts. I was all psyched up to go over to his place tonight and talk. I just hope I can find that courage again." Sarah sat slumped on the bed, fidgeting with her fingers as Gerty stood nearby, listening intently.
"Look, I don't know what your past holds that's making you worry so much, and I won't ask. Just know that you have people that care about you, that will have your back, no matter what. Now… this may be saying too much, but he can hate me for it later. There is no… 'that woman'. There's only 'one woman', if you get what I mean." Sarah looked up at Gerty, with a look of surprise. That look slowly grew into a shy smile that spread across her face. Once it started, it just continued to grow until her face completely lit up.
"Go get some sleep. That diner's not gonna run itself, plus we're gonna be down a person. You know, you should really start pushing for more help. Post on the Internet or something. Kids these days don't even look up from their phones to see those paper signs you've posted around." Gerty grinned at herself. "Sorry. Not that you asked my opinion or anything."
"No. No, that's a good idea. I think I've been putting it off with the 'I'm too busy' excuse. I think you're… I 'know' you're right. We need more help. I'll go look into it now. Something tells me I'm not going to fall asleep anytime soon." Sarah stood and gave Gerty a quick hug. "Thank you. I'm really glad you're here." Gerty squeezed a little harder.
"Me too, Sweetie. Me too."
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The next morning, the place just didn't seem the same without Chuck in the diner. It wasn't until he was gone that everyone seemed to realize what an impact he had on the place. His smiling face, bad jokes and jovial spirit made it so much more fun to come to work. It wasn't just Sarah that felt the sense of loss. Gerty, the customers, hell, even Casey seemed to be a little more somber. Sarah tried to put on her professional smile, but it seemed forced. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally.
Sarah had been up into the early morning, immersing herself in some online job posting sites. She really hoped to find some much needed help around the diner, but she was mainly trying to keep her mind off Chuck. She managed to post the openings for wait and kitchen staff on a number of mainstream sites as well as some local job boards. She figured it would be weeks before she got any responses, but hopefully she'd get some applicants before Christmas time.
The lunch rush was busier than usual and, with Chuck not there to lend a hand, they were really feeling it today. The place was nearly full, with only two spots available at the counter. She and Gerty were frantically moving from table to table, taking care of customers while Casey was sweating his ass off in the kitchen. When the doorbell rang yet again, Sarah huffed out a 'sonofabitch' under her breath as she took a tray full of food to a table. She glanced over her shoulder to see a young woman standing just inside the door.
"Welcome to Emma's. I'm sorry but all we have are a couple of spots at the counter. You're welcome to take a seat," Sarah called over her shoulder before directing her attention to the family at her current table. After passing out their food and checking on a few tables, she walked behind the counter to see to the young woman that had just sat down.
"Sorry for the wait. Busy time of day. Can I get you started with something to drink?" The young woman looked up at her, uncertainty in her eyes.
"Um…. actually, I saw your posting on the Grady County job board." She took out her phone and showed the page for the wait staff opening. Sarah's eyes grew huge. She'd had those stupid flyers up for months now and in one night of posting on the web she had a taker. She could kick herself.
"Wow. That uh….that was fast. Do you have any experience with waitressing?" Sarah asked eagerly.
"Um, yeah. I waitressed at a truck stop diner in high school and at an Applebee's when I was in college for a time. I have a copy of my res-" the young woman reached into her bag to get a folder but was cut off by Sarah.
"When can you start?" Sarah rushed out. The woman sat back in surprise, blinking a few times.
"Uh...I-I guess as soon as you need me?" She looked a little bewildered at the abruptness of her questions. Sarah reached under the counter while still talking.
"Ok. What's your name?" she inquired, collecting some things from beneath the counter.
"Um...Al-Alex. Alex McHugh," she stammered out. Sarah tossed a folded up apron and an order pad at the woman.
"Perfect. You're hired. Welcome to Emma's family. You can hide your stuff under the counter for now and take over behind the counter here. Taking orders, making coffee, that sorta thing." Sarah grabbed some dirty plates from a customer further down the counter. "Come on," she motioned for Alex to follow her. Sarah lead her into the kitchen, where she placed the dirty dishes in the sink and wiped her hands on a towel. "So...kitchen," Sarah gestured around the room. "Walk in fridge and freezer are over there. That over there is… well that's a 'Casey'," she chuckled, playfully identifying him as another machine in the kitchen. "Casey is our cook, our only cook at the moment. He grunts a lot. You'll learn the language eventually." Casey overheard the comment and just let out a grunt of agitation. "See what I mean?" The two women laughed as they headed back out of the kitchen. They almost plowed into Gerty as they pushed through the swinging door, but luckily Gerty saw the door move in time.
"Oh, Gerty. This is Alex. Alex, Gerty. Alex just started about… two minutes ago." Gerty let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank God. They're killin' us out there," Gerty exclaimed. She pushed the kitchen door open with her back. "Nice to meet ya Alex. Good luck."
Sarah showed her around very quickly and then let her loose, going back to work her tables. With the extra help, even being green, Sarah and Gerty could breathe a little easier. They made it through the lunch rush in one piece and, once things were quiet, Sarah had Gerty go over some of the finer points with Alex. Sarah took the opportunity during the lull to take the trash out to the dumpster. As she headed outside, she heard her phone ring in her pocket. She heaved the bag into the dumpster and started digging for her phone. She didn't take the time to check the caller ID and just swiped it up to answer.
"Hello?" Sarah stopped to listen, trying to catch her breath from her struggle with the large trash bag. There was nothing but silence on the other end. She waited another second before repeating.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" She listened intently and finally she heard a weak voice respond, immediately sending a chill down her spine.
"Hi Sarah. It-it's Chuck. Did I catch you at a bad time?" His voice was quiet and hoarse. So much so that Sarah could hardly believe it was Chuck.
"Oh my God, Chuck. Are you… are you ok? I've been so worried about you." It was hard to keep the concern out of her voice and she really didn't care.
"Um… not… not really." His voice sounded strained and she could hear a hard swallow through the phone.
"Talk to me Chuck. Please. What...what's wrong?" Sarah pleaded with him, desperate to know what all of this was about. Why he had to leave her...Sarah squashed that thought. This was about Chuck and what he needed right now.
"There was… there was an accident. A truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and swerved left of center." Chuck told the story with little emotion. Almost as if a computer were speaking the text for him. "He struck three cars before coming to a stop. In the first car were Cindy and Mark Loescher,…..my foster parents." Sarah gasped, then covered her mouth.
"Oh my God. No…" Sarah choked out at just above a whisper.
"They were rushed to the hospital in critical condition. That's when I got the call, since I was listed as their emergency contact. I called you and grabbed the first flight to LA. It was all such a blur. When I landed I got to the hospital as fast as I could." Chuck was silent for a moment. When he continued, Sarah could hear the quaking in his voice and his staggered breathing. "Mark passed while I was in the air and Cindy finally passed about the time I was in the car on the way to the hospital. I… I didn't … I didn't get to say goodbye." Chuck choked out the final words before she heard the hitch in his voice and the ragged breathing. Tears were pouring down Sarah's face, she was so overwhelmed with grief for Chuck. She tried to wipe the tears away but they kept coming. The loss of her stepfather and then her mother was still fresh in her mind. Through her own ragged breaths and sniffling, she tried to comfort him.
"Oh, Chuck. God, I'm so, so sorry." More tears fell and she swallowed thickly. "Chuck… tell me where you are. Where are you Chuck?"
"S-Sarah, No. You have the diner and Mol-"
"Dammit Chuck. Tell me where you are! I'm getting on a plane and coming to you. Now tell me...please…." The desperation in her voice clearly told him that she was not going to be dissuaded. He was quiet for a moment, unsure of how to take her emotional response. Deep down he wanted so much for her to be there with him. To hold him, to make it alright. His penchant for self-sacrifice lost out.
"Ok. I'll… I'll text you the address of where I'm staying. But please...please don't rush. I want…I need you here safely. OK? Promise me!" His pleading urgent, almost panicked.
"I promise Chuck. I promise. I'll leave as soon as I can. I'll text or call you to let you know where I'm at along the way. OK?"
"O-Ok . Thank you Sarah. I… I don't.." Chuck's voice broke and Sarah cut in to fill the silence.
"I'm coming Chuck. OK? Just hold on until I get there."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Sarah looked out of the small, ovalish window at the fluffy white carpet below. Her knee bounced uncontrollably, her right arm hugging her body, all the while biting the nail on her left thumb. She pulled her thumb out of her mouth and after examining the state of her nail, huffed in frustration, putting her hands in her lap to fidget. Between bouts of worry for Chuck, Sarah thought about all the things she hadn't gotten to tell Gerty and Casey before rushing out of the diner.
When she had hung up with Chuck and burst in the kitchen from the alley, Casey looked her way, his eyes growing wide. Still grasping her phone, she had tear tracks on her face and nose, and her cheeks were pink from the cold outside if nothing else. Casey turned to her, wiping his hands on his apron. He saw uncertainty in her face, something he had never seen on her face. She looked lost and unsteady, which unnerved him even more. He knew something bad had happened, even if he didn't know the 'what'. He stepped into her field of view as she stood looking around, searching, as if trying to find where to start on an insurmountable task. When she saw Casey's frame, she looked up to his face, which was furrowed with concern.
"Th-that was Chuck…" Her lower lip quivered slightly and that was all that Casey could bear.
"Go, Walker. We got this." Casey interrupted. Sarah tried to protest but Casey would have none of it. "Go! We'll take care of the diner and Molly. Just go." His commanding tone and imposing form left no room for argument. She wordlessly nodded, giving the large man a quick squeeze on his forearm as she passed to the kitchen door. She hurried through the diner to the office to collect her things. When she came out of her office, donning her coat, Gerty intercepted her at the door.
"Sarah? You alright? What's wrong?" Gerty gently took her wrist to get her attention.
"It's Chuck…. I have … I have to go to him." Gerty could see the concern and sadness etched deep on her face.
"Oh, Sweetie…" Gerty pulled her into a quick hug. "Go. Go. We got this. Don't worry." The older woman helped escort Sarah out of the diner and yelled after her as Sarah raced down the sidewalk. "Be safe!"
Sarah knew that the diner was in good hands, but she still felt a bit guilty about leaving so abruptly. She had called Gerty at the diner and Judy, the woman who watched Molly after school, with instructions that she thought up as she raced to the airport in Raleigh. It seemed like the longest car ride of her life. She had rocketed out of town, after swinging by the house to hurriedly pack a bag and book a flight online. Now, as she sat in this plane, the five and a half hour flight seemed like an excruciating eternity.
Beyond her concerns for being there to comfort Chuck, she knew that there was far more. She needed to talk to him, really talk. But what could she possibly say to him? It was clearly not the time to go into a full discussion about...them. She would have to say something though, give him some idea of what her feelings were. Sarah hoped that racing across the country to get to him would offer some insights, but she could not leave it to chance. She had already risked so much and wasted so much time by not being open and honest with him. If she could at least reassure him ...reassure him that ...that what? What could she reassure him of? That there was nothing between her and Ian? Ian had pushed for her to tell the whole story, but could she? The sentiment was easy, but the words would be hard. Most of what she had to say to him would be hard. She didn't fear his response so much anymore, but like ripping off a band aid that's been on too long, the pain of revealing, reliving, some of those old memories would indeed be painful. She knew that she would have to give him something, he deserved that, and much more. She didn't want to over burden him when he was likely overwhelmed already. As she contemplated this all, her head now pressed against the cool glass of her window, she dozed off.
Sarah was jolted awake by the voice over the cabin speaker. They were approaching LAX and would be landing soon. She briefly admonished herself for falling asleep, feeling a bit shameful that she could sleep at a time like this. Despite the slight crick in her neck, she did feel a little better, more rested, her head a little clearer. She was feeling the effects of not eating lunch, given it was now almost seven o'clock back east. The Lilliputian portion of pretzels the flight attendant had passed out earlier in the flight had done more harm than good toward easing her hunger. Luckily, it would be dinner time here soon.
As Sarah waited at the baggage claim, she ordered an Uber to pick her up in fifteen minutes to take her to the address Chuck had texted her. She wasn't sure if the address was a hotel, apartment or a house. There was no room number given but maybe he would just meet her in the lobby or something. When her bag approached on the carousel, she snatched it up and headed for the restroom. She needed to try to make herself a little more presentable after her frenzied journey. Discovering that there was not a lot she could do in the airport bathroom without digging through her bag, she put on a touch of makeup and brushed her hair, opting to pull it back into a ponytail.
When she stepped out into the pickup area, the warm California air surrounded her, like being enveloped in a warm blanket. Having come from 40-45 degree weather, the 75 degree temperatures were a welcome relief, bolstering her spirits a bit. She checked the app on her phone and saw that her ride was quickly approaching, surprised at her good timing. Akram, her driver, was courteous and put her bag in the trunk of the car before opening the back door for her to get in. She had to admit this was pretty good service compared to the other Uber or Lyft experiences she'd had in the past. He was polite and tried to fill the silence with idle chit chat. She gave brief answered or small chuckles to indicate that she was at least listening, but her mind was adrift as she watched the city go by outside her window. Looking out of the driver's side, she didn't really notice that they had stopped at a curb, and not just one of the million or so stop lights or traffic jams.
"We are here Miss Walker," Akram declared in his thick accent. He got out of the car to retrieve her bag. She exited the vehicle and moved to the sidewalk where he handed Sarah her bag. Sarah approved the payment and added a nice tip for his good service. She shook his hand and thanked him. She turned around to face the building, taking a deep breath. The area was nice, the streets lined with palms and other tropical looking trees. She pushed open the wrought iron gates, the only entry through the ivy covered stone wall surrounding the building. Two large oaken doors with wrought iron hinges and strapping stood open, inviting her into a courtyard. She stopped just inside to take in the beauty of this little sanctuary. The Spanish influence was evident from the terra cotta roof to the decorative tiles and the large fountain in the center of the court yard. She looked from door to door, unsure as to which one she was looking for. There were decorative Spanish tiles embedded in the stucco walls beside each door,embossed with the apartment number. She slowly circled the fountain in the center, taking in each new architectural feature or potted flower as she walked.
Sarah found herself at the far end of the courtyard, standing a few feet from the apartment door at the end. She turned around slowly, taking in the view of the courtyard from this angle. Startled from her gazing, a stern voice called from behind her.
"May I help you?" Sarah spun around to find,standing in the open doorway behind her, stood a beautiful woman with long, flowing brown hair. She was casually dressed but, even so, Sarah felt like a slob in comparison. The woman, who appeared to be around thirty, eyed her up and down quizzically. Her tone was a bit standoffish, as if Sarah's presence was suspicious. The raised eyebrow offered a bit more of a challenge to the question as well. Sarah swallowed hard, trying to keep her fears at bay.
"I...I'm sorry. I'm looking for a Ch-Chuck. Chuck Bartowski," Sarah managed to get out, only stammering slightly. The woman's eyes closed into narrow slits as she looked Sarah up and down again, this time with more scrutiny than before.
"And what exactly is your… business with this… Bartowski person?" the woman's voice laced with accusation.
Sarah hesitated for a moment, trying to collect herself. The butterflies in her stomach had taken flight and she could feel her palms began to sweat. "I'm a...a friend of his. From out of town. He gave me that address of this place, but not an apartment number. Would… would you know which one he might be in?" Sarah asked sheepishly, her presence clearly irritating the woman.
"Y-You're ...Sarah?" The brunette seemed to almost choke on the words, her expression was one of shock. Before Sarah could respond, she found herself wrapped in a powerful hug. Sarah was wide eyed, feeling a bit awkward at the sudden gesture from a complete stranger. The woman slowly released her grip and pulled away, her hands on Sarah's shoulders.
"God, I'm so glad you made it. I'm gonna kill that brother of mine though for screwing up the address. I'm sorry, where are my manners? Please. Please come in." The woman moved aside gesturing for Sarah to come in. Sarah gave a small smile as she entered the apartment. She closed the door and Sarah turned to face the brunette.
"So...so you-you're Ellie? Chuck's sister?" Sarah inquired, finally putting the pieces together. The brunette woman's smile spread across her face and there was no question that she was Chuck's sister. Sarah knew that smile well and couldn't help herself but smile in return.
"Glad to know my brother isn't too ashamed to mention me. Look, I'm...I'm sorry about before." Ellie motioned over her shoulder toward the front door. "Despite my brother's attempts at anonymity, there are still some…'enterprising' young women that try to seek him out. They are often the gorgeous, model types seeking a... 'benefactor'. Chuck never mentioned how beautiful you were. I just assumed you were one of those women." Sarah blushed at the compliment and looked at her feet for a moment.
"Well, thank you, I think. I could say the same for you. Chuck mentioned you were a doctor, but he never mentioned you were so beautiful on top of it all. I love your outfit. How you can look so comfortable and so beautiful at the same time is a bit...intimidating." Sarah blushed even harder at her rather candid admission. There must be something with this family that brought out the best and worst in her. Ellie broke out into laughter.
"Are you kidding me? I'll let you in on a little secret." She moved in closer to speak in a more hushed tone. "I changed my clothes four times today after Chuck told me you were coming. I was wearing a crappy UCLA t-shirt and holey sweatpants. That is certainly nothing to be intimidated over." The two women chuckled before sobering a bit.
"Um..speaking of Chuck. Is...is he here?" Sarah asked with some apprehension.
"Oh, right. Yeah. He's here. He just got out of the shower. He's finishing getting dressed and should be out in a minute. That poor guy. I don't think he's slept since he got here. I only met the Loeschers a few times when we were younger, but they were decent people. Not overly affectionate, which was hard on Chuck. He's definitely the affectionate type and after … I'm sorry. I over share sometimes. Forget I said anything. Especially don't tell him I said anything about the affectionate stuff." Ellie looked a little embarrassed and a bit sad. Sarah knew the basic story of her and Chuck's parents leaving, them being separated into different foster homes, but she didn't want to bring up that clearly unsettling topic.
"Sarah?" questioned a soft voice from behind her. Sarah turned around to see Chuck standing at the entryway into the living room. When their eyes met, she could see his body slump as he let out a soft sigh. He swallowed hard and wet his lips with his tongue, looking a bit nervous. Sarah began to walk toward him slowly, her own nerves buzzing. As she drew nearer, Chuck bit his lower lip and she could see the tears welling in his eyes. Seeing that broke her resolve to maintain her composure. She rushed to him, throwing her arms around him in a crushing hug. Even though it had only been a short time, she had missed the warmth, the smell of him. She pulled him as close to her as physically possible. She buried her face in his neck and began to sob. Chuck's long arms enveloped her, holding her so tight as if fearful to let go.
"Chu...Chuck. I'm ...I'm so sorry," Sarah managed to choke out between sobbing. She could feel him shaking in her arms, occasionally taking in a ragged breath. They stood like that for several minutes until they'd both regained their composure. Chuck took in a deep, shaky breath and then blew it out. He still held her tight, now gently rubbing his cheek along the side of her head, positioning his mouth beside her ear.
"Thank you," was all he whispered, holding her for a moment longer before slowly pulling away. He tried to wipe at his cheeks with the backs of his hands but Sarah took his hands in hers to steady them. She pressed their joined hands to her chest and shook her head.
"It's OK, Chuck. You can be sad. You don't have to hide that from me. You don't have to hide anything from me." She stared deep into Chuck's eyes, searching for his understanding. She hoped he could understand how she felt. What he meant to her. She knew it was ridiculous to think that all of that could be conveyed with a look. She knew that she had to put all of these feelings into words. Before she could begin, they both heard a sniffing sound from over Sarah's shoulder.
They both watched Ellie make her way toward them, tears streaming down her face. Her attempts at fanning away her tears were ineffectual. She started pointing toward the hallway behind Chuck and Sarah, the two realizing they were blocking her escape from their 'moment'.
"I'm… I'm just gonna …" Ellie tried to choke out a coherent sentence, but she was so overwhelmed with emotions, her words were escaping her. She started to squeeze past them but changed course, as if some attractive force was guiding her. She crashed into Chuck and Sarah, pulling them into a group hug. Sarah looked questioningly at Chuck who responded with a good natured eye roll before wrapping an arm around his sister, pulling her in tighter. Sarah was so moved by the experience that she also wrapped an arm around the woman and took some comfort in the closeness between them, a closeness that extended beyond the physical. Ellie broke away and motioned for them to continue as she pointed down the hall toward her room, still sniffling all the way until they heard the door close.
"Sorry about that. I guess being emotional runs in the family." Chuck shrugged and gave half a smile. Sarah knew that she had to clear the air, and it had to be right now.
"Chuck, we have to talk for a minute."
"Look, Sarah. You don't need to explain anything to me. It's none of my bus-" Sarah reached up and put her hand over his mouth, silencing him both physically and by surprising him.
"Will you please let me finish? I want...no, I need to explain this to you because it is your...our business, Chuck. I need to talk to you about Ian and I need you to please just listen. Can you do that for me?" She looked into his eyes with determination, her hand still firmly planted over his mouth. He returned her gaze and nodded in the affirmative. Sarah took a deep breath and blew it out before letting go of Chuck. She started to pace, thinking of the right words.
"Chuck, Ian and I do have a history together. In...in high school we dated for a while. We went to prom together and that night we… well… we were each other's first." She paused for a moment, glancing at Chuck to gauge his reaction. He was looking at his shoes but nodding his head in understanding. "Chuck, I really did care for him and I thought he cared for me too. I thought it would be a magical evening, you know? I thought we were in love. Instead the whole thing was very awkward and afterward… afterward, Ian locked himself in the hotel bathroom and started crying." With that Chuck's head shot up, an expression of utter disbelief on his face. Sarah continued to pace the room, her arms wrapped around herself.
"It was the worst night of my life and one of the worst feelings I'd ever felt to that point. When we both stopped crying and Ian came out of the bathroom, we talked. I questioned if he could really love me if that was his reaction. It was then that he confessed that he did love me, but not in that way. In fact, he didn't feel that way toward girls… at all. Chuck, … Ian's gay. He knew that he was gay before that night but he was so afraid that he would lose the only real friend he had, me, and was too afraid of the consequences from his very conservative family and peers. Let's just say… many folks in the south do not take very kindly to those that are, shall we say, differently minded. What I had hoped would be a great night together turned out to be one of the worst nights for both of us." Sarah stopped pacing to look up at Chuck. He was staring off into space, his arms crossed with one hand cupping his chin as if in deep contemplation. She returned to her pacing to finish the story.
"We were really close, just not in the way I assumed we were. I was the only one who knew, and I swore to him that I would keep his secret. We pretended to be dating for the remainder of high school to keep up appearances. We did stay close friends and we stay in touch, though not as frequently as I'd like. He moved away to go to college where he wasn't afraid to be himself. It wasn't until last night that he freed me from my obligation to keep his secret. He said that I needed tell you all of it." Chuck broke from his thoughts and turned to look at Sarah with a furrowed brow.
"Why? Why would he want to risk all that just so you could tell me?" Sarah was a bit surprised to hear his voice, but she turned to face him, looking right into his eyes.
"Because he could see it. He knows me, probably better than most anyone. Even after a couple of hours he knew." Sarah was no longer pacing, she was just standing, staring at her fidgeting hands.
"I don't understand. See...see what?" Chuck was confused, feeling a bit clueless. Sarah turned her gaze on him and could see that he was not truly understanding. She found his sweetness and naiveté so adorable sometimes. She approached Chuck and took his hands in hers. She stared into his chest and swallowed thickly before continuing.
"He said he could see that I was in love with you and that he didn't want his secret to come between us." Sarah was afraid to look away from his chest, afraid to even breathe.
"He um… he….he said that?" Chuck stammered out, sounding incredulous.
"Yes, he didn't want his secret to come between us," Sarah replied a bit defensively.
"N-no. Not… he… said you 'love me'? Do…..do you?" His final question was barely above a whisper, almost as if he were fearful of the answer. Sarah slowly craned her head up to look at him through her lashes. She looked into his eyes and saw so many emotions. Hope, fear, desperation...love. She could see it all. Her lip began to quiver and tears started to fall as she silently nodded her head fiercely before her whole body was racked with sobs. She buried her head in his chest and cried. As dumbfounded as he was, his instinct to comfort those in need overtook him and he pulled her close to him. He caressed the back of her head with one hand and held her close at her lower back with the other. He placed soft kisses on the top of her head while offering soothing words of comfort. They weren't sure how long they stood there, neither was in a hurry to separate. Finally, Sarah's breathing returned to normal, the occasional ragged breath subsiding. She pulled back just enough to look up at him.
"I'm… I'm sorry. I'm not usually this ...emotional." She looked back down at his chest and the wetness that covered it. She felt his hands lift from her body, immediately missing their warmth. She began to look up at him again when she felt his lips press firmly against hers. His hands cupping her cheeks as he continued to kiss her. It was not rushed, but rather soft and deliciously slow. She could feel all of the emotions she had previously seen in his eyes, as if they were manifesting themselves through his kiss. She had never experienced a kiss like this and she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she was in love with this man and that he loved her in return.
Chuck slowly pulled away from the kiss, but didn't remove his hands from her face. He gazed deeply into her eyes as his thumbs caressed her cheeks. He averted his gaze to her lips for just a moment, his right thumb gently grazing her perfect lips. A smile grew across his face that reached his eyes. He returned his thumb to her cheek and looked into her deep azure pools.
"The first day I saw you in your diner, the first time I saw you smile, I knew. Every day since, I've found more and more reasons. I love you Sarah Walker. I love you for the way you are fiercely loyal to your friends and family. I love you for all the selfless acts you perform without giving it a second thought. I love you for the way you take care of Molly, not just as a sister, but as a mother aswell. And I love you for being able to see past this nerdy exterior and loving me despite it. I know… I know that there are things from your past, baggage that you carry with you. Just know, you don't have to carry them alone anymore. I can be your very own… baggage handler," he confessed with a goofy grin, rolling his eyes at himself.
"There are a thousand reasons I love you, Sarah Walker, and I hope you'll give me the opportunity to find a thousand more." Sarah held his gaze, despite the tears rolling down her cheeks. She stood on her tip-toes to press her lips to his. This time, the kiss was more passionate, much deeper than before. Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer, pouring more of herself into the kiss. Chuck eagerly reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her even closer to him. Sarah moaned into his mouth as his tongue caressed hers. Chuck soon followed with a deep moan of his own as their tongues explored each other. As things began to escalate, a long, deep groan sounded, but not from either of their mouths this time. Chuck started to chuckle, his mouth still pressed to hers until he had to pull away, breaking into a full laugh.
"Im...I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but that was pretty funny. Especially with the timing of it. Ohhhh. Wow. So, I take it you could use some dinner, then, huh?" Chuck did his best to curb his laughter, especially since Sarah was turning three shades of red. He bent down and kissed her lips again. "Come on. I'll put your stuff in the guest room." He picked up her bag and she followed him to the room. He placed her bag on the bed and stepped out of the way. "The bathroom's down the hall on the right if you need to freshen up. Would you mind terribly if I invited Ellie to eat with us? I'd feel bad leaving her to fend for herself." Chuck winced a bit, hoping that he wasn't ruining anything.
"No. Not at all. I'd like to get to know your sister better. I'm gonna change really quick and freshen up if that's OK?"
"Oh, absolutely. Um, do you like Mexican? I know this great Mexican place that makes the best margaritas. To be honest, I could use one after the day I've had." Chuck's eyes immediately shot open, putting his hands up as if to block some attack. "N-Not because of the uh...you know...the stuff. No, all the other stuff...before that." Chuck deflated, realizing that he was really not helping his cause. Now it was Sarah's turn to laugh. She took his hands in hers and planted a quick kiss on his lips.
"You're so adorable when you spiral. Yes, Mexican would be great and a margarita sounds wonderful. Now, go talk to Ellie while I get changed." She patted him on the butt to usher him out of the room, closing the door behind him. She couldn't help the smile that reached from ear to ear. She couldn't remember a time when she was happier. She dug through her bag, pulling out a pair of dark skinny jeans and a blue blouse. She changed her clothes and pulled out her makeup bag. As she was about to head to the bathroom, she heard a text notification. She checked her phone but it wasn't hers. She looked around and saw a phone sitting on the dresser. Out of curiosity, she took a peak and saw that it was still unlocked. There was a text notification from a phone number, not a contact, and it was the only text message in the history from this number.
Target has been inquiring. Followed trail to Charlotte. How to proceed?
It sounded rather cryptic, especially referring to a "target". It was likely business related and maybe intentionally cryptic. Maybe it was to protect against corporate espionage or hacked text messages or something. Maybe it was something for a video game he was working on. Sarah wrote it off and headed out of the bedroom to the bathroom.
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"Oh my God, I'm so full. Thank you guys for dinner. You were right, those margaritas were fantastic. Maybe a little too fantastic," exclaimed Sarah as she plopped down on the couch in the living room, fanning her face with her hands.
"You have a really lovely home, Ellie." Sarah looked about the nicely decorated apartment. It had a very comfortable, homey feel that was very inviting.
"Well, Thank you. It's not really my place, but I did most of the decorating." Sarah looked over her shoulder towards Ellie in time to catch Chuck making a slashing motion with his hand to 'cut it out'. Seeing Sarah, he abruptly stopped. Ellie and Sarah both gave him an amused look. "I'm guessing that what my little brother doesn't want you to know is that he owns the apartment." Chuck rolled his eyes in exasperation, his shoulders slumping in resignation. "This apartment is perfect for me. Not only is it beautiful and seemingly secluded, even though it's in town, its proximity to shopping and my work makes it ideal. But about a year and a half ago, the owner wanted to get out of the landlord business and was putting it up or sale. That would have meant I'd have lost the lease or they could have jacked up the rent. Well, unbeknownst to me, a certain someone went behind my back and bought it...the whole building!" Sarah gaped at Chuck, who was looking rather sheepish.
"On top of that, he only charges enough rent to maintain the property. You know, pay the property taxes, maintenance and any utilities. That keeps the rent low enough that people with more fixed incomes can afford to live here. The tenants take pride in this place. They're the ones that maintain the planters and gardens in the courtyard. We frequently have parties and get togethers in the courtyard. He really has created a great community here. Maybe he should visit more often and enjoy it," Ellie mock glared at him.
"Hey. I've been...busy," Chuck defended, glancing at Sarah with a wry smile. Chuck's phone chimed and after glancing at the screen he excused himself to the guest room.
"Let me just say how thankful I am Sarah. I was really worried about Chuck. His nomadic wandering, seeming... lost. I'm really glad he found you. I've never seen him happier, even given the recent tragedy. Whenever I talk to him on the phone, he always talks about you and Molly. I can see how much you mean to him." Ellie smiled broadly as she sat on the couch beside Sarah.
"Well, I'm...we're lucky to have him. He's an amazing man. Molly adores him and everyone that meets him thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread," Sarah chuckled, a smile growing across her face.
"I see. And you? What is he to you?" Ellie's smile turning a bit mischievous.
"I…Well, I…" Sarah was taken aback by Ellie's straight forward questioning. Her instinct was to deflect or use the 'it's complicated' excuse. Then the realization smacked her in the face. Sure it was new, but it wasn't complicated at all. In fact, it felt so simple, for once. The surprise on her face transformed into a beaming smile. She met Ellie's questioning gaze and shrugged.
"I love him." Sarah let out a small giggle. "I don't think I ever really knew what that was until I met him. He's everything I never realized I wanted or needed. I just hope I can be the same for him." Sarah's smile faltered slightly, pondering if she really could be that for him. Her thoughts were quickly interrupted as Ellie broke into laughter. Shaking her head to focus her thoughts, she gave Ellie a quizzical stare.
"Oh, Sarah. Don't you see? You don't have to hope. You already are." Sarah blushed a bit at the admission.
"Already are what?" Chuck asked as he walked into the living room.
"None of your business, Mr. Nosy," Ellie jabbed. "It's girl talk." Chuck just held up his hands in surrender.
"Sorry I asked. I hate to interrupt, but I wanted to talk with you guys about the arrangements. Tomorrow morning, I have to go to the lawyer's office to go over the will so we can make sure their wishes are followed. Likely there will be a service or memorial of some sort on Sunday or Monday. It would be great if you two could come." He looked between Sarah and Ellie. Both nodded their heads in agreement.
"Wait! Oh crap. I didn't… I didn't pack anything to wear to the service. I was… I was so caught up in getting here I completely forgot." Sarah put her head in her hands, letting out a huff.
"That's perfect!" Ellie exclaimed. Chuck and Sarah both turned to look at her in confusion. Ellie reached over and grabbed Sarah's arm, a wry smile on her face. "That just means we get to go shopping tomorrow. Chuck, give this woman one of your fancy credit cards so we can go shopping in style tomorrow." Ellie shoulder bumped Sarah with a chuckle.
"Well… I don't think that'll be necessary," Chuck stated sheepishly.
"What? You don't trust your girlfriend with your credit cards?" Ellie asked indignantly. Chuck and Sarah's eyes lit up at the designation. A grin was shared between the two as Ellie sat looking on between them. "What? What's so...Oh I get it," turning her full attention to Sarah. "He already gave you one, didn't he?" She accused. Sarah just shrugged, trying to look overly innocent. "Bah. You two… I'm going to bed. I'll see ya in the morning."
Ellie got up from the couch, bending down to give Sarah a hug. She then met her brother behind the couch and gave him a hug as well. With her mouth close to his ear she whispered, "You did good." She then squeezed a little harder and released him to head to bed.
"So… I took the liberty of getting ready for bed, so the guest room is all yours. I even turned down the sheets. I'm sorry I don't have a mint for your pillow."
"I'm sure we can manage. I'll just be a minute." Sarah gave Chuck a quick kiss as she walked by. In less than ten minutes, Sarah had gotten into her shorts and a t-shirt and washed her makeup off. As she walked down the hall, she could see flickering lights coming from the living room. She padded down the hallway, finding Chuck laying on the couch watching TV. Sarah circled the couch to stand in front of Chuck, staring down at him with her hands on her hips.
"What are you doing?" she questioned. Chuck's eyes slowly traced up her long legs, continuing up her curvaceous body, ending at her beautiful face with a gulp. He had never seen this much of Sarah before and it clearly affected him. Even in this casual outfit, she was positively breathtaking.
"Um… I uh… I was laying down, getting ready to go to sleep?" Sarah raised an eyebrow and tilted her head down further. "Well, I thought you could use your own room. You know, to have your own space…" Sarah huffed in exasperation and picked up the remote from the coffee table, turning off the TV. The living room was plunged into near darkness, only the light from the guest room allowing her to make out basic shapes. Sarah reached down and took Chuck's hand in hers.
"See, that's not gonna work for me," she purred, pulling him up off the couch. She dragged him behind her, ignoring his protests, pulling him into the guest room, closing the door. She released his hand and walked to the far side of the bed. She turned to face him, and could see the almost petrified look on his face. With a wry smile, she pulled out her hair band, releasing her ponytail and shaking her head to let her hair cascaded down over her shoulders. She could see Chuck's eyes widen and swallow hard. She had to admit that she really enjoyed that she had such an effect on him. She crawled into bed and patted the empty side closest to Chuck.
"Sarah. I… I don't know… You see the thing is…-"
"Chuck," she interrupted his spiraling, raising an eyebrow. He quickly silenced himself and slowly moved to the bed, gingerly sliding under the covers. He pulled the covers up, almost as if using them for protection. Sarah chuckled inwardly as she reached over, turning out the light on her nightstand. Rolling back over, she scooted closer to Chuck, until they were touching. Raised up on her elbow, Sarah leaned over and kissed Chuck on the cheek.
"Chuck. Relax," she whispered. "Why are you so nervous? Do I scare you?"
"What? No! Well, maybe...j-just a little. I mean…" Chuck blew out a breath, running a hand through his hair. "What I mean is...it's been a long… long time and… you're so amazing I just… I want it all to be … special." In the darkness, Chuck could hear a ragged sigh before he felt her hand on his chin. She pulled his face toward her and kissed him softly. After a few seconds she pulled away.
"Chuck, when we make love, I have no doubt it will be special. Tonight, I'd just really like for you to hold me. Would that be alright?" Her tone was almost pleading. She swore she could hear him whimper, but maybe it was her. Without a word, Chuck opened himself up to pull her in close to him. She laid her head on his chest and draped her arm across his stomach. They both let out deep sighs, sinking further into the bed and each other. Sarah hummed against his chest with contentment.
"Thank you Chuck. This is so nice. Can we just stay like this?" Chuck placed a soft kiss to the top of her head and whispered.
"As you wish."
A/N2: Finally, right? Finally they are on the same page, more or less. I'd love you hear from you via PM or Reviews. Tell me what you think. I'm sorry I don;t have more time to reply to all the great reviews, but that would take away from my limited writing time, so I figured you'd prefer I work on the chapter. Please know that I do read your reviews and appreciate them all. For you guests out there, I encourage you to register so that I can respond to your comments and concerns individually.