A sharp buzz in his ear followed by a dull smack was the sound of Kaworu waking up. He looked bleary eyed at his alarm clock and threw back his sheets, putting his feet onto the cold floor. He stretched like a cat and scratched idly on his way to the bathroom. Work today. He emptied his bladder, jumped in the shower, shaved the soft peach fuzz that grew on his chin and then brushed his teeth.

Human life, was for one thing, dull and routine at times. Not that being imprisoned for ten years was terribly interesting either, but Kaworu had forgotten the monotony that often came with being a human. He woke up in the morning, went to work, came home and did it all over again. He had expected to be with Shinji as soon as he got back on Earth, but that wasn't the case. He had seen Shinji a couple times, but was no more than a blip on Shinji's radar.

He also wished his job came easier to him, but he tended to daydream, which got him into trouble. He cashiered at a market and often reprimanded for seeming cold or aloof, when in fact he had just lost himself in thought. He fumbled with money, not accustom to dealing with currency, and was unable to answer many questions for customers because he simply didn't know. His boss was lenient with him, wrongly assuming him to be mentally handicapped.

His appearance aided in his manager's conclusion. His red eyes, pale skin, and gray hair often brought unkind stares from adults and rude questions from children. He took it in stride, but such things dug under his skin and he found his emotions were already unstable. His human body was much prone to mood swings than he could remember. One moment, he would be laughing and happy, the next, in tears and depressed. A lot had been dumped on his shoulders him. He was still an angel in his mind.

Kaworu wanted to prove that he was a bright, intelligent, and normal man, but it seemed to him, everything was working against him. This was a mental blow he had not been expecting. Before, he had been adapt at piloting an Eva and considered wise beyond his years. But he had been an angel then. He was no less intelligent, but his adapting skills were slower. So he played along, playing dumb when necessary to get by and smiling despite the disappointment that he felt in his heart.

He finally understood the pain that Shinji had felt as a child and how fragile the human heart truly was.

Kaworu tugged on his jacket and pulled his wool cap over his hair and made his way out to work.

Time passed slowly at work, he was bored and the idle conversation with customers was hardly interesting.

He scanned a loaf of bread, a can of soup, a bunch of instant ramen before he looked up, seeing Shinji smiling politely, watching his groceries as they disappeared into bags.

So I've caught you at work now, Shinji smiled when Kaworu looked up finally.

Kaworu was taken back and thrown off his guard. He laughed nervously and scratched idly behind his ears. I'm sorry . . . I was day dreaming, I didn't see you come through my line, Kaworu said, his cheeks growing a bit red.

You seemed bored, Shinji said, as Kaworu continued to ring him up.

I was . . . .I just want to say thank you for walking with me to pick up my roommate, Shinji said and looked down, feeling more nervous than he thought he should at the moment.

Oh, sure. You're welcome, Kaworu said and hit the total button on his register, reading out his total.

Shinji slid his card through the machine and took a deep breath. I get off work at 9 tonight . . . .meet me there? Shinji said in a small, nervous voice.

Kaworu blinked with surprise, dropping the slip of paper and pen he was about to hand Shinji. Never mind, Shinji quickly signed the paper, handed it back to Kaworu and left, his bags in tow.

Kaworu stood gob smacked as Shinji nearly ran out of the place. He cursed himself and quickly got back to work, before his manager walked over.

At the end of his shift, Kaworu returned to his apartment, lost in thought. Shinji, quiet, shy, not aggressive Shinji Ikari had just asked him to meet him after work. What for, he didn't say. So this wasn't a date, but Shinji wanted to be around him, this was an improvement. Kaworu found his mood was brighter than it had been in a while and he flopped content on his couch and day dreamed while the radio played. He was going to meet Shinji at nine.

Shinji nearly ran back to his apartment and dropped the bags as soon as he walked through the door. Ryozo looked up from his laptop and arched an eyebrow. Shinji ran past him, slammed the door to his room and Ryozo was fairly sure he heard the click of the door locking. What the hell was his problem?

Ryozo dutifully stood up and put the groceries away, then walked to Shinji's door and tapped on it gently.

Shinji? What's up?

A muffled sound floated through the door, but it didn't make any sense. Ryozo sighed and tried again. The same muffled sound, which sounded a bit like leave me alone or go away was what greeted him.

Not to be ignored, Ryozo deftly picked the lock to the door and found his roommate, face buried in his bed. Ryozo walked over to him and sat on the edge of the bed, resting a hand on him, rubbing lightly.

What's going on? Ryozo asked, voice soft.

I don't know, came the still muffled reply. Ryozo rolled him over gently and scooted fully onto the bed.

Come on now.Ryozo!! Go away! Shinji shouted and nearly shoved Ryozo off the bed. Ryozo stood quickly, glaring.

What the hell is wrong with you!I don't want to talk about it! Leave me alone!

Ryozo left, resisting the urge to slam the door angrily after him.

Shinji curled up in his bed. He was confused and embarrassed. Where had he finally got the nerve to ask some one out? And not only that, another man. He hadn't ever been interested in women, but he had never really been interested in any one. He lacked the confidence to pursue any sort of relationship . The only relationship he had was his friendship with Ryozo . If it weren't for Ryozo's innate openness and friendliness, it probably wouldn't exist.

Shinji felt more lonely than he had in years. He couldn't remember a time that he had loved any single person and the possibility of finding someone to share his heart with scared him. Loneliness, a hallow empty feeling, was better than the hurt and pain of opening his heart to someone. He was scared to be hurt. He was also increasingly scared of being alone for the rest of his life. What happened when Ryozo grew tired of him? Or married someone? There would be no one left in his life.

Shinji wiped stray tears from his cheeks and opened his door. Ryozo sat on the couch, staring blankly at the tv, his laptop sitting on his lap, ignoring him. It was a difficult thing to upset Ryozo, but he had managed it. Shinji sat on the couch next to him and didn't say anything.

Ryozo kept his eyes forward, ignoring the presence next to him.

Hey, Ryozo? Shinji said quietly, not looking at the other man, his eyes staying ahead.

Was Ryozo's terse reply.

I'm sorry.Yeah, I know.

Shinji scooted closer to his roommate, his one friend, his one source of companionship, and rested his head tentatively on his shoulder. Ryozo wrapped an arm around his waist into a half hug.

How long have we known each other? Shinji asked.

I dunno. . . since Uni.You're the person I've stayed the longest with.No kidding? Ryozo said, a bit surprised.

Yeah. I'm scared, Shinji whispered.

Of what?Being hurt . . . . being alone.It's a part of life, Kid, Ryozo's hand reached up and rubbed Shinji's shoulder.

I know.Don't be afraid. You need other people in your life.

Shinji just nodded and stayed quite, enjoying the gentle rubbing on his shoulder and the contact of another person.

It's about time you got ready for work, Ryozo sad, patting him, nudging him to stand.

Shinji stood up and jumped in the shower, then pulled on the black slacks and white shirt he wore for work. He had asked Kaworu to meet him after his shift. Was he going to show up? Or had he even heard what Shinji had said?

Shinji was kept busy, as evening shifts tended to do. He was mixing drinks and chatting politely with customers. He was a different person at work. While quiet when left to himself, when it was busy like it was, he somehow lost his quiet self and was talkative and cheerful. Ladies winked at the cute bartender and tried to flirt. Shinji winked back and would slip them a free shot or something they liked.

He loved his job because he was completely different at work. He got along well with his coworkers and he wrapped himself up in the energy and fun the restaurant. But when the clock struck nine, he was back to being Shinji, who was quiet and reserved. As he clocked out, his heart took a sudden leap. He had forgotten about what had happened with Kaworu earlier and when he stepped outside, there he stood.

Kaworu wore tight fitting jeans and a worn, second hand t-shirt with a green jacket over it. His gray hair was tousled and a light blush was on his cheeks from the light breeze that blew around them. He looked up when Shinji stepped outside and a small smile formed on his lips. He offered his hand, not sure what Shinji would do with it.

Shinji blinked for a moment and stared a bit longer than he should of. Why was his heart pounding? Why did Kaworu look suddenly irresistible in the glow of the street lamp above them? What the hell was going on?

Kaworu . . . I didn't expect you to be here, Shinji said, once he had regained his voice.

You're the one who invited me, Kaworu said, smiling, feeling warm just being near the one he loved so dearly.

I know, but . . . Shinji was silenced by a thin, pale finger placed on his lips.

Shinji looked up into vibrant scarlet eyes and his heart pounded hard in his chest.

Just walk with me a while, Kaworu said, his hand slipping down, gently grasping Shinji's hand.

Shinji squeaked nervously, but Kaworu just began to walk, coming off cool headed and confident. Shinji blinked and did the only thing he could do. Walk with him.

After walking a while in silence, Shinji looked over at the other man, whose hand was in his, and smiled quite happily to himself.

Where are we going, Kaworu? Shinji asked.

No where. Shinji said and found himself rubbing the top of Kaworu's hand with his thumb.

Are you afraid? Kaworu asked, catching Shinji off guard.

Afraid of what?Well, earlier, when you asked me to meet up with you, you ran away, Kaworu said.

Oh, that. I guess I am afraid, Shinji said, looking down at the ground.

Of what?

Shinji looked up, blue catching red. He looked back down again, overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions. Why was this man turning him inside out and why was he shaking?

I don't know, Shinji replied, quietly. The sound of a wave crashing caused him to look back up. The ocean.Life began here. It is said to be the primordial soup of all life on earth. But it's constantly flowing, changing, yet every time I come back to it, I feel the same, Kaworu said, watching the waves crash gently on the shore, the full moon illuminating the beach.

I know what you mean . . . I've come to this beach since I was a small boy, but when I'm here, Shinji sighed, I'm home.

Kaworu nodded, his hand still in Shinji's as they both sat down in the sand. The moon looks very beautiful tonight, He said, leaning back, looking at the sky.

It is.

They both got very quiet, staring out into the ocean and the sky, two endless spaces no man could completely comprehend.

Shinji? Have you ever wanted something so badly, you would give everything up to have it? Kaworu asked quietly. Shinji looked at him, confused.

What do you mean?I mean . . . never mind, Kaworu said then let out a sigh. He couldn't explain it to Shinji without risking his humanity. He closed his mouth and continued to look out at the ocean.

Shinji found himself growing a bit tired, and adjusted himself to lean his head on Kaworu. Kaworu just looked at him, tears forming behind his eyes. Could Shinji ever realize that Kaworu had defied God and His angels to be in this very spot? This one moment was complete happiness for Kaworu, and Shinji would never know the sacrifices that Kaworu made just to have his cowardly, weak human boy sit with him. Tears fell quietly, the emotion too much for him to restrain. His hands stroked Shinji's soft brown hair and when Shinji looked up at him, childlike wonder in his bright blue eyes, he couldn't help but press a soft, searching kiss on Shinji's lips.

Shinji was surprised by the kiss, but found himself quickly melting into it. It had been so very long since he felt another's touch and he found he needed it more desperately than he had ever thought. Kaworu laid down, Shinji leaning over him, their lips pressed together, soft tongues meeting in wet, warm mouths. Kaworu's arms reached up and pulled Shinji as close as possible to him and Shinji's fingers wound themselves in Kaworu's hair.

Kaworu gasped, heart pounding and swelling. He found himself nearly sobbing in Shinji's embrace.

What's wrong Kaworu? Kaworu, did I do something wrong? Shinji looked up, hurt stinging those innocent eyes.

Kaworu stroked his face, rolling them both on their sides, wrapped his legs around Shinji's. Nothing's wrong . . I'm sorry. I've been overly emotional lately. You've done nothing wrong, Kaworu said and continued to kiss him.

Shinji's mind was spinning. This wasn't ever supposed to happen to him, this blissful, light headed feeling, was one he never thought he could claim as his own. He barely knew the man next to him, kissing him tenderly and urgently. Why did Kaworu want him? What was there to be desired? For the moment, Shinji pushed the thoughts aside, feeling safe and at home in Kaworu's arms. Reason and reality could crash down on him later, but for now, he just wanted this.

The kiss broke slowly, their eyes glued on each other. Shinji's fingers tangled in Kaworu's hair and Kaworu's long limbs wrapped up in Shinji's. Small smiles grew on both their face, this was where they were supposed to be.

I should probably go home, Shinji said, his voice soft.

Shinji kissed him again.

Come home with me. Kaworu's finger traced down Shinji's face.

Shinji pulled himself back slowly, looking at the other man, clothes skewed, hair everywhere, red eyes glowing. He wanted to, he really did. He touched Kaworu gently, cupped his face in his hand and kissed him again. Kaworu nibbled and whispered in his ear.

Take a chance, don't be afraid tonight, Shinji, Kaworu murmured.

Shinji nodded and Kaworu led him back to his apartment, where they stood awkward at the door way, both feeling childish.

This is nice, Shinji looked around.

I just moved in.I like it.I like you, Kaworu pinned Shinji against the door and kissed him again. His hands drifted down and slipped under Shinji's shirt.

What are we doing? Shinji asked, a blush on his cheeks and a wild look in his eyes.

Kaworu smiled mysteriously and unbuttoned Shinji's shirt, letting it slide gracefully off his shoulders.

Their lips met again and Kaworu's hands explored Shinji's bare chest, up his smooth, warm waist, over his erect nipples, making their way to hold Shinji's face lovingly in his hands. Shinji felt his breath quicken and he was drunk off the feeling of Kaworu's soft, dove like hands.

Shinji felt his own hands move on their own accord to pull off Kaworu's t shirt, letting it fall to the floor and he pulled him close, the men holding each other tightly. Kaworu began pulling Shinji towards the bedroom and when that door closed after them, they fell into each others arms, kissing and caressing.

I don't really know what I'm doing, Shinji confessed, blushing. Kaworu chuckled lightly.

Neither do I, he said as he unbuttoned Shinji's work trousers and pulled them down. Shinji squirmed nervously, but a kiss on his hip caused him to relax.

Kaworu . . . .I'm scared again, Shinji said.

Kaworu, kicking his own jeans to the side, slid right next to Shinji, hugging him and kissing him lightly.

Shinji sighed and kissed Kaworu's forehead. He wasn't sure what he wanted out of tonight, but this was certainly good enough for him. Kaworu's hands still explored his body, brushing more than once over an increasingly uncomfortable bulge in his boxers and when that hand slipped down into them, he jumped slightly, surprised.

They slid down and Kaworu stroked, kissing Shinji all the while. Shinji moaned and made small noises, raising his hips into Kaworu's hand.

He murmured, his voice barely above a whisper and spilled into Kaworu's hand.

Kaworu held him close. Shinji's eye lids became heavy as he slipped into a content and heavy sleep. Kaworu smiled at him and wrapped his body around Shinji and drifted off himself.

Author's Note: I just want to say thank you to all the reviews you all have been kind enough to leave. doesn't make it very easy to respond quickly to those that have put in reviews, but I have read each and everyone of them and appreciate the kind words. Also, if anyone is interested in seriously betaing this story, please email me for information. ) thanks again!