Chapter 32

As the rest of the heads of state and advisors exited, Zuko prickled with anger and discomfort. How dare they ask for Azula and Ozai's heads? And even though he had vehemently lied he had Azula under control, he was aware she was anything but. Given both Suki and Mai's reports from yesterday, he didn't know what to believe about his sister. Deep in thought, he didn't notice Akira standing over him until his brother cleared his throat.

"Zuko, can we talk?" said Akira. Zuko looked up just as Hakoda shut the door behind him, leaving Zuko and Akira alone in the room.

"Sure. What's up?" said Zuko, more than a little irritated with Akira for insinuating that Zuko had killed his own family.

"What was that meeting?" demanded Akira bluntly. "You let them walk all over you!"

"What are you talking about?" said Zuko. "I refused to give them Azula or Ozai."

"That was clearly just a bluff!" said Akira, raising his voice. "It was a trick to get you to agree to reparations!"

"So what?" said Zuko flatly. "I was willing to give them reparations anyway. We do owe them."

"No we don't," replied Akira sharply. He shifted his stance restlessly. "We owe them nothing for being strong while they were weak."

"You sound like our father," spat Zuko. "What, are you a war apologist now? I won't listen to that nonsense." If he wasn't so helpless, he would have stood and left the room.

"How dare you!" yelled Akira. "How dare you compare me to him!" His hawk eyes flashed with fury. "And since when am I not allowed to express my opinion?"

"Since the day I was made Firelord, and you weren't!" replied Zuko angrily.

"Is that what this is about?" snarled Akira. "You won't listen to me or acknowledge me because you think I'm a threat?" He took a step closer. "Is it because I'm older?"

"You're not," said Zuko reflexively.

"I am," replied Akira authoritatively, towering over Zuko.

"Regardless," said Zuko, flustered. "What are you complaining about? I listen to your counsel! You live in my house, I pay for your tutors, and you came to my wedding! What more do you want?" He ended in a shout.

"Oh, I don't know, Zuko!" said Akira sarcastically. "Maybe I was hoping for a family."
Some of Zuko's anger leached away. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Ever since I've moved in, I knew you didn't trust me," said Akira, taking a few steps back and gripping the back of a chair. His knuckles turned white. "But how long am I expected to be on probation?"

"You're not on probation," sighed Zuko.

"But I am!" said Akira, agitated. "You don't let me anywhere near your son, even though he's my nephew! Your wife never talks to me. You basically ignore me like you don't know what to do with me. I wasn't allowed to sit with our family at your wedding. Shall I continue?"

Zuko felt a pang of guilt. Akira wasn't wrong. But he couldn't find anything to say.

"And today," Akira forged ahead. "Just now. The Earth King flat out asked what gave me the right to speak, and did you defend me?" He threw his hands up in the air. "No! You just said I was 'an advisor.' Someone of no consequence." Akira laughed bitterly.

"You adopted your illegitimate son. You even speak of our sister with warmth, though she's the one who's actually tried to kill you and take the throne multiple times! Why am I the only one you distrust?" Akira shouted. He shoved the chair away forcefully. "Maybe you should hand over Azula. Her death would save you a lot of confusion."

"What do you mean by that?" said Zuko furiously. He stood abruptly, to get level with Akira or to hit him, he didn't know. But as he rose, he wrenched his ribs, and he felt the new skin surrounding his burn tear. "Ahhh…" he hissed, tears welling to his eyes. He fell heavily to the ground, and felt some smaller cuts and burns split as well.

"Are you alright?" asked Akira, his tone more muted. Zuko tried to struggle to his feet, grasping at his chair. He had never been this weak, it was pathetic. Blood soaked out from under his bandages. Suddenly, Zuko felt himself being lifted upwards and gently deposited into his chair. Akira knelt before him, bringing himself closer to Zuko's eye level.

"Zuko, I'm sorry. But all my life I've been alone," said Akira painfully. "Can you blame me for hoping I had found my family?"

"You have found your family," said Zuko through watering eyes. He met his brother's gaze. "Akira, I'm sorry," he said heavily. "For treating you with distrust. For not welcoming you into my family. Our family. It was unfair, and it was wrong." He felt ashamed of himself. While he had opened his heart to one new brother, he had isolated and alienated the other, just because he was afraid. That's not how he wanted to live his life.

Akira nodded and swallowed. "I—I actually expected to get arrested for that outburst," he said shakily. "I'm not really sure what to do now."

Thinking only that it was what Iroh would do, Zuko leaned forward and pulled Akira into a hug. "Welcome to the family," he said. "I'm sorry it took me so long." Akira tightened the hug, and Zuko tried not to vomit from the pain. But he held on to his brother. Who knew the last time Akira had received any affection at all?

"Zuko," said Akira, alarmed. He pulled away, red smearing his forearms. "You're bleeding through your robes!"

"Damn," said Zuko faintly. "That's…not good." His head swirled and he fell forward against his brother's shoulder. Blood loss, probably. Five days wasn't enough time to replace all the blood he had lost in the Agni Kai, and he hadn't exactly been taking it easy.

"Zuko! Zuko can you hear me?" Akira's voice came from very far away. Zuko felt himself lifted again, but this time off the ground entirely.

"Katara," mumbled Zuko. "Healing powers."

"Okay, okay, Katara," said Akira. "Hang in there, Zuko…" The world trailed off into a soft, velvety blackness.

Zuko was floating naked in a warm sea. Days from his childhood passed by—a sunny afternoon with his mother by the pond, the morning where Azula had laughed and clapped when he first made a twig catch fire, a cold evening being held by his father near the fireplace. The memories sped by him like bright leaves falling from a tree, twirling out of his reach. Then the water grew colder, and darker memories shifted into view. The day he first left the Fire Nation Capital, scarred and friendless but for Iroh. The long nights on his ship, looking at the sunset and aching for a chance to regain his honor. The afternoon where Azula sought him out in his exile, promised to bring him home, and then betrayed him. Scars, scars, scars…but these memories too twisted out of his sight and vanished.

In the darkness, Zuko heard the laugh of a child. Kazuto appeared, splashing in the water. Zuko tried to reach out for him, but couldn't move. Then Mai shimmered into view, older and yet more beautiful. She crouched and smoothed back Kazuto's hair. Behind her Azula materialized, her face clear, hair braided behind her back. She smiled. And then Iroh was there, and Akira, and Ursa's family, Sokka, Suki, Aang, Katara…even General Mak and Ilana were visible in the background. They glowed faintly, staring at him, then began to sink slowly beneath the water.

"Don't leave me!" Zuko pleaded. "Stay!"

"For you, I always will," said Mai. But even as she said it, she slipped into the waves.

"No, Mai!" Zuko still couldn't move. "Mai!"

"Hold still, Zuko, you're going to be fine," said Katara's voice. "Mai's right here." Zuko opened his eyes with difficulty. He still felt like he was floating. He let out a strangled gasp when he realized that he was, in fact, naked except for a loincloth and floating in a large bathtub. The water glowed blue around him.

"What the—"

"Katara is trying an advanced healing technique," said Mai to his left. He turned his head to look at her, and she smiled weakly. "You collapsed due to blood loss and pain-related shock, so Katara is trying a full-body immersion treatment, instead of healing each wound individually."

"Am I-am I going to die?" asked Zuko.

"Of course not!" said Katara cheerfully. Zuko ignored her and looked to his wife.

"Very probably not," amended Mai seriously. "Although when Akira carried you in here, we thought you were already dead."

"I was ready to avenge your murder," said Katara, still concentrating on her waterbending.

"Don't talk like that about Akira," said Zuko sleepily. He could feel himself drifting again.

"Akira…is…my brother…feel badly…"

"Okay, Zuko," said Mai, her voice fading. "We'll talk about him later…" She took his hand gently, his only anchor as he floated back to sea.