Author's Note: Good evening, everybody! As you can see, I'm still alive and doing okay. Despite all appearances, I haven't given up on writing chapter fics and regular sized oneshots for the sake of big oneshot novels that take months to finish. One of my personal goals for 2019 is to write smaller oneshots again and to update my In-Progress fics much more often, actually finishing a few of them. I am literally 2-4 chapters away from finishing 2 stories right now. It's best to hit the ground running with this goal early, especially since my chronic back problems, while they have improved over the last few months, still have me on bed rest for long periods of time. Thanks for not giving up on me or this story. Y'all are awesome. Have a good 2018-2019 transition and stay warm and safe out there.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
Steph's POV
In for a penny, in for a pound.
Even if I wanted to stop kissing Carlos, I couldn't, even if someone was pointing a gun to my head. Not to mention, I am now sure that Carlos would let the whole fucking world burn to ashes if it meant that he had to stop kissing me. We were still on the couch but I was on top of him, pressed flush against him. Both of his hands were on my behind, hiking my skirt nearly all the way up, and that was just fine by me. Not only were my underwear clean, I decided to bust out some of the Savage x Fenty lingerie I had bought in bulk during one of my sleepless nights surfing the internet. I fucking adore Rihanna. Her music is awesome and she is unrepentantly herself, especially in the face of smallminded, sexist assholes.
She is my type of bad bitch and when word spread that she was going to come out with both makeup and lingerie? It was a done deal. I'll always have a soft spot for Victoria's Secret and M.A.C. (God knows I can never, ever pass up a sale from either of them) but if I really want to feel hot? If I want to feel confident and sexy, I put on my Fenty.
Unlike my bra, my panties were sheer lime green lace but thanks to the thickness of my skirt, nobody knew that but me and Carlos. They were our little secret.
I want Carlos to know all of my secrets, not just the fun lacy ones but the deep dark ones. Sharing with him is so easy. He doesn't judge me ever and I know that he won't tell a soul without my permission. He sees me and wants me for me. He sees me as a person, not as an ongoing redecorating project or as someone to be pitied or feared. He accepts me and damn, that is so sexy. He is so sexy and sweet and all mine and...
I sat up slowly and put my hands on his chest. Carlos was looking up at me with molten amber eyes and parted pink lips. His mahogany hair was messy, some of it was even in his eyes, and really, how the hell did I get a hot angel to come down from Heaven to play with me? What did I do right to make it happen and am I gonna have to go to Mass? Despite growing up Catholic, after reaching my late teenage years (and the aftermath of a certain Incident...), I'm not exactly a big believer in God. Oh, I'm sure that there's definitely some higher power in charge up there but...well, I could at least pick up a candle to light later in thanks. I saw some prayer candles online that had The Golden Girls on them a couple of days ago. They shouldn't be sold out yet.
If he wanted to, Carlos could move me off of him. He could be trying to get what feels to be his very impressive penis inside of me but he's not. He's letting me do this. He's letting me have control and that makes me want to give it to him. Not just control but as much of me as he wants.
Slowly, I climbed off of him and grabbed his forearm, trying and failing miserably to get him up. Chuckling softly, he sat up and stood smoothly, moving as if he were made of heated smoke.
"The couch is nice but it's too small."
"Where do you want me, Babe?"
Of all the questions for him to ask, why did he have to choose that one? Every dirty, filthy scenario that I could think of entered my mind at that but I couldn't speak. I was too turned on, too overwhelmed. I've had sex before. I've been in relationships before but how Carlos makes me feel is so different. I feel hot and needy. I also feel vulnerable but not in the way that Dickie and Morelli made me feel. They made me feel small. They made me feel like nothing more than a hole for them to use and throw away. They made me feel like I was wrong and coupled with Helen's harping, The Burg always finding me guilty before proven innocent? I just...I want...I don't...
Great. Now, my Issues are killing the mood again. I should've never stopped kissing him.
"...I'm sorry."
"Don't."
"But..."
"You have nothing to apologize for, Stephanie."
The way he says it makes me think it's true but I still need to tell him things. I don't want him to think I'm playing games. I don't want him to think that anything's wrong with him. There's nothing wrong with him. Plus, according to several myths and legends, good communication is a part of healthy relationships. That makes sense. After all, how the hell are people supposed to know what's needed or wanted if no one speaks up? I'm sure that Carlos is a superhero. He's Trenton's version of Batman but he's not a mind reader!
"I want you. I really, really want you but I just..."
"I get it."
"I want to be with you. I just...I'm not used to this. I'm not used to...I've been with guys before. I have but with you, it's not...it's easy. I'm used to having to fight with a guy about literally everything and later, I would just go along with what they wanted because it was easier but after I got divorced, I never..."
"I'm the first man that you've actually chosen."
/
Ranger's POV
Stephanie smiled sadly and nodded, holding my gaze. Even though she was precariously close to crying, she looked at me head on as always. Opening up isn't easy for her, which I completely understand. The more she tells me about her past, the angrier I get on her behalf. Surrounded by people too caught up in public opinion or their own misery, she learned to rely on herself but she still looked for someone who would listen, who would accept her.
And she had been taken advantage of. Morelli and that Orr bastard saw her vulnerability as an opportunity to get what they wanted from her. Neither of them had expected her to catch on, though. Neither of them had expected her to take the control away from them. They had expected her to fall in line and...
I wish that we had met sooner.
I wish that everyone who hurt this woman in my arms never had the opportunity to do so in the first place or that something permanent could be done so it would never happen again. The dead don't have to worry about reputations. The dead don't get to judge and find lacking. Morelli, Orr, Helen Plum, and especially Frank Plum...what kind of man allows his daughter to be treated so horribly? As unconventional as our relationship is, Julie is very precious to me. That was part of the reason why I did what I did with Rachel and Ron. I wanted my daughter to have the best chance of having a happy life. Thankfully, all of them are open to me being in her life as more than a child support payment but Frank Plum? Fucking hell.
Babe did tell me that he wasn't very useful but that wasn't her fault. None of it was her fault...
"There is nothing wrong with you."
"Are you sure?"
"Babe."
"We should be naked in your bed right now but we're not because of me."
"The fact that you're telling me the truth about how you're feeling is far more important than sex to me, Stephanie. Don't get me wrong, I certainly want you naked in my bed and we will get there but only when you're ready. I don't want you to feel like you owe me something. I don't want you to do anything that you're not comfortable with. Physically, you're ready for me..."
"...you're goddamned right. My panties are ruined in the best way."
I grinned and she gave me her softest, shyest smile yet.
"...but you're not there emotionally and that's fine."
"You're not mad?"
"Not at you. I'm mad at the people who hurt you before you met me."
"...I wish we met sooner. Life would've been a lot better."
"I agree but we know each other now and that's what matters. We'll take it slow."
"Okay...so, um...does taking it slow mean that we can't kiss anymore?"
"Of course not."
"Okay, good."
/
"Yes?"
There was a long pause before, "I'm sorry. I think I have the wrong number. I was looking to speak to my daughter."
"You have the right number. Stephanie is asleep right now."
"Oh. You...you must be her boyfriend."
"I am. My name is Carlos Manoso. I'm sure your wife has told you all about me."
"Yeah...listen, could you put her on the line, please?"
"Why?"
"It's about her mother. She came home from the market upset and..."
"...that's funny because Stephanie showed up to my place in tears and all she could say was that she ran into her mother at the market. Did your wife mention her part in making the encounter go badly at all or did she just say that Stephanie was being unreasonable and she did absolutely nothing wrong before she stormed off like a brat?"
"I..."
"That's what I thought."
"...I get the feeling that you're not too fond of my wife."
"She treats Stephanie horribly and you let her do it without looking up from your dinner plate. You've let your wife, your oldest daughter and just about every person around her treat her like shit for years. What happened with Morelli and Orr should've gotten you off of your ass and it didn't. Why? What's wrong with you? Why aren't you doing your job? You're her father. Be her father."
"Now, wait a minute. I go to work every day and..."
"Being a good father involves a lot more than paying bills. That's why child support exists."
"...could you tell Stephanie that I called when she wakes up?"
"Goodbye, Mr. Plum."
If Stephanie wants to talk to him, I won't stop her. It's not my place. It honestly wasn't my place to call him to the carpet just now but I couldn't stop myself from doing. Stephanie Plum throws all of my rules out of the window. She has me thinking with my heart first and hearing Frank Plum's excuses, knowing that he's used them time and time again? I really need to look into what could possibly be wrong with him.
Stephanie mentioned that he had served in the military.
I'm all too aware of how difficult it can be to return to civilian life. Pieces of one's soul get left behind on the battlefield or in the shadows all the time. Still, it didn't excuse Frank Plum. He had options to get help if he needed it, even with all the red tape and corruption that surrounds veteran affairs in this country.
"...thank you."
Stephanie rested her cheek where my heart pounded and I kissed the crown of her head.
"I'm sorry for being so harsh with him."
"You shouldn't be. I told you before: my father is a good man but he's not very useful. He did pay the bills and show up to the big events like birthdays and graduations but I never really had a dad. Even when he tries, it's like he's going through the motions. It's not just with me. He's like that with Val and the girls, too. He's been like that for as long as I can remember. "
"But Val had your mother."
"I had Grandma and Grandpa Harry and Mary Lou."
"You needed a father."
"Well, I didn't have one. I'm not the only person out there without decent parents and all things considered, I'm doing pretty good. I could be a lot worse."
"It's not right, Babe."
"No, but you can't fix it."
"I want to."
"I know. I appreciate that. I appreciate you."